The Real Her
by Reckless Dreamer Yuna
Summary: Once you're in love with someone, you never really forget them, do you? Of course, she didn't want to admit it, but then, he showed up again. But how can you be happy with someone when you're not really happy with yourself? InuxKag...
1. Drunk

**A/N: I'm so happy to be writing again! This story is a little rushed because I was so eager, but still, I'll try with it. So leave a comment and tell me what you think, kay?**

**Also, this story is rated M for a reason. So if you don't like all kinds of naughty stuff, then I suggest you just not bother, alright? And also, Kagome and Inuyasha are really OOC in this story, but that's the way it has to be. It will eventually get better.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Inuyasha or the music I used in any way. I just borrowed the characters for this story, and borrowed Drake's lyrics and song title(I love him so much). I own nothing but my ideas, though.**

She had to admit it, she liked the feeling of those million pairs of lusty eyes following after her everywhere she went. She swung her hips deliberately and seductively, knowing that she was attracting the attention of every male that stood in her presence with each step. Confidence was a necessity. It was what made a woman _know_ she was sexy, not only in looks, but in her attitude, also. That was what attracted men the most. There was a certain kind of aura that surrounded her as she walked through the crowded street, and it made most people, even females, stop and stare. She took over the whole environment, making it collapse around her so that not even the sun could outshine her or box her in.

She showed off her pearly whites to the shy ones, making them splutter and blush, freezing them in their spots, making them too intimidated to even give her a smile of their own. But it didn't bother her much, it just made her chuckle at their shyness. She tried her luck with the more confident boys, smirking suggestively at them, and they mimicked her actions, and then she winked at them and continued to walk on, leaving them gazing hungrily after her.

Sometimes, she felt as if all the attention would never be _enough_. She craved it.

She was silently thanking god for the weather as she neared her destination. The summer breeze softly swept through her mane of glossy black hair, and she breathed it in for a second, closing her eyes, enjoying the feel of the soft breeze against her hair and her face. A bright smile was showing on her face once again, and she pretended not to notice the eyes on her as she tossed her mid-length raven hair back. There was an aura of innocence that surrounded her, but Kagome Higurashi was anything _but_ innocence.

Her phone had been stuck inside the pocket of the black skinny jeans that were way too tight on her. She pulled it out when she felt it vibrate, reading the text as her heels continued to clank against the concrete on the street, a soft smile on her face.

"_Shikon Jewel…that's the name of the club you were planning on going to, right, Kagome?" _

Kagome shook her head, sure she had told Sango the name of the new club a million times. Not bothering to text back, she shoved her phone back into the pocket of her skinny jeans, her hips still swaying. She smiled at the sound of whistles being called out for her, but chose not to turn around and acknowledge the sounds coming from the men that followed in behind her.

After just a few more minutes of walking, she had finally reached her destination. She burst through the door of the club, a smile still on her face. Ignoring the pairs of eyes that were ogling her, she began looking for Sango.

After ignoring the many compliments and comments made of her by men, which were mostly good, and some by women, who spoke with nothing but jealously, she searched around a bit more until she finally spotted Sango over by the bar, sitting next to Miroku. She walked over to the two of them, a smile on her face.

"You know, I've been looking for you everywhere, Sango," Kagome said to her friend, taking a seat down beside of her. She looked over and glared at the two. "You've already ordered your drinks without me, I see."

Sango let out a huff before taking another sip of her drink, then opening her mouth to scold Kagome. "_You're_ the one who didn't text me back. So calm down, babe. And _please_, don't drink too much, Kagome. You're kind of an embarrassment when you're really drunk." Sango finished with a smirk, sucking the drink up with her straw, her eyes still watching Kagome's angry expression in amusement. She finally pulled away from her drink, chuckling at her best friend.

"I told you the name a _million_ times before! We've been planning this for months, and I was so excited about it. You should've knew the name of the damned club by then, Sango." Kagome insisted, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Okay, enough with this shit," Miroku started with a smirk on his face. "We're here to have fun tonight, get fucked. Not argue. So you both get over it, alright? By the way, Kagome, you look _amazing _tonight."

Kagome smiled. "That's sweet, Miroku. But seriously, you better stop. You know how protective your girl is," Kagome smiled at Sango in feigned sweetness, and Sango rolled her eyes, but still tossed her head back, laughing lightly at her friend. "But anyway, on with the plan for tonight. Get completely fucked, do a little dirty dancing, ya know, live it up."

Sango shook her head at Kagome, watching her as she flirted with the bartender for a few minutes before finally ordering her chosen drink, a margarita. She watched as she slurped the drink up quickly before asking for another. Sure, Kagome was a grown woman, after just turning twenty-two and all. But still, she made plenty of mistakes. She didn't want to see Kagome get in trouble. She hated to say it, but her friend was sometimes _reckless_ when she got even a hint of alcohol into her system.

She immediately decided to put a stop to Kagome's drinking, not really caring if she would be mad or not. "Kagome, c'mon. Don't go all crazy tonight. You still have _work_ tomorrow, you know. I don't think you can't handle anymore hangovers. You'll be late for work again, and you really don't have many more chances." Sango tried to tell her, wishing that she'd think rationally.

Thankfully, Miroku had stepped in, too. "Kagome, come on, now. Babe, you can't get trashed nearly every night. Think about what people will say."

Kagome let out a laugh, flipping her raven hair over her shoulder as she took another sip of her drink. "You two are _crazy_ to think that I really care about what people say, especially people who don't even know me. You've got to learn how to not give a fuck. Once you grasp the concept of that shit, you're platinum, baby."

"Kagome-" Sango started, only for Kagome to bring a hand near Sango's face, signaling that she didn't want to hear it. She watched Kagome in disappointment, shaking her head when she leaned her head back some more so she could drink more of her alcohol. She had finished the whole glass already, and Sango was _sure_ that she was already drunk.

"C'mon, Sango," Kagome squealed suddenly, trying to grab Sango's hand and lead her out to the dance floor. Sango immediately jerked her hand away. "I wanna dance! Please Sango?"

"You're drunk already." Sango said, giving Kagome a warning look.

Kagome just giggled lightly, knowing it was true. She _was_ feeling a little drunk, maybe a lot, but that was her plan, right? It had been a while since she'd actually had fun. Lately, she had been busy with her part-time job as a waitress at a café that wasn't far away from where she lived. She ignored the people who criticized her, telling her that she could do much better. The money wasn't much, but it wasn't bad, and she had to support herself somehow.

She didn't want her mother trying to support her since she was caught up in a lot of other things, and plus, she felt like she'd be using her. So she never asked anyone for anything, _never_. Except for Sango. When things got to be too much and she was too stressed out with work, Sango would let her stay with her for no longer than a week with her and Miroku.

She broke into a wide grin, causing Sango to roll her eyes. "I'm going to go dance."

She skipped away from Sango and Miroku until she reached the center of the dance floor, and then her hips were swinging seductively as she let the music take over her, it moving on its own accord. Her hands tangled in her hair and she closed her eyes, a smile on her face as her body swayed back and forth to the beat of the music. She was definitely getting attention, all eyes on her in surprise, wonder, some in jealousy. But it didn't matter, though. It was nice to feel this way.

Some men were already coming up to her, and Kagome made no move to stop any of them, letting their hands grasp her hips, looking at them suggestively , letting them touch her everywhere, their rough and calloused hands confidently roaming over her soft skin. But still, she enjoyed it. By now, she was far too drunk to even care, to really even notice anyone's face.

This was exactly where she wanted to be. She didn't care anymore.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

That was his plan for tonight, to get as drunk as possible. So after he texted Miroku back, being sure to tell him that he was on his way to the club, he grabbed his keys and left out of the door of his apartment.

As he drove, his golden pools full of anger, he gripped the steering wheel tightly, tapping one claw against it whenever he had to stop at a red light. Impatience, anger, rejection, anxiety, and maybe, just _maybe_ slight depression. But either way, he didn't like the feelings.

Who wouldn't have been angry? Who wouldn't have been hurt?

He felt all of those things and so much more.

Three weeks. Three short fucking weeks, and it was already driving him crazy. _She_ was. Everything she did drove him crazy, made him feel like she hated him when he was actually nowhere _near_ hating her. He knew break-ups were hard, hell, being in a relationship was even harder, but he hadn't expected the pain to be this _intense_, for it to feel this _real_. It tore him up inside-out, and the more he thought, the more it drove him crazy.

He had even planned on proposing to her, starting a life with her, starting a family with her. He could scoff at himself now, but that didn't make things any better. Rejection. Something that he hadn't had the chance to experience many times before in his life. But feeling it _now_, he never wanted to experience anything like it or close to it ever again.

Was he not good enough?

It was a question he'd thought to himself a million times, ever since he was a child. Somehow, he felt as if he was never good enough. He had always been insecure about himself, being teased because of who he was, _what_ he was.

He scoffed to himself, his grip on the steering wheel tightening even more. His lips were now twisted up into a snarl, and his face portrayed anger, but if anyone _really_ knew him, they'd know that his eyes completely betrayed him.

Deep into those sunlit eyes he had swarmed anger, insecurity, sadness.

He didn't guess that he'd considered it breaking up just yet. He remembered her slow, painful words falling from her mouth as her eyes turned angry, looking into his with defiance. And now, he wished that he had never brought up such ideas with her. Ideas such as starting a family, getting married. He really had planned on it, but now he was angry and hurt and he just didn't _know_ anymore.

He really did believe that he was in love, maybe even sure of it. He'd been dating Kikyo for nearly six years now, which was a huge change for him since he _never_ stayed into a relationship for that long, _never_ put in as much effort as he had did in this one. He had never believed in the shit…love. He thought it was stupid. He had seen the way his friends had acted after it had supposedly happened to them, and he couldn't stand it. Why he used to hate it was mostly because he didn't understand it, and it seemed to all be nonsense to him. How stupid was a person to fall in love? Pretty stupid, in his opinion. He hated how everyone acted as if things were amazing when they found love, how they acted as if nothing could ever go wrong again, how much they changed, how much care they put in to _one _person.

He understood all of it now. All of the hurt. He hated how he'd nearly given everything up for her.

Maybe he was overreacting. She didn't exactly say that it was _over_. He remembered her words clearly in his head, the emotion in her voice, the anger on her face and pain in her eyes. And it was _all_ his fault for telling her that _maybe_ he'd like to be with her forever, maybe marry her, maybe live his whole life with her, maybe make her the mother of his children.

He was so _stupid _for even thinking she cared.

Finally, he was nearing the club where he was supposed to see Miroku. He had almost began to turn the offer down, still so very upset over what had happened. But Miroku had insisted, and he gave up, hoping that _maybe_ the alcohol or _someone_ could take his mind off of Kikyo tonight.

He stopped the car and stepped out, taking the sunglasses that he'd been wearing off. His long, silver hair that reached all the way down past his back, almost stopping down at his hips, glistened in the sunlight, and he took a deep breath and began walking towards the nice looking place, trying to think of at least one reason to smile since his love life was giving him none at all.

He was dressed in a pair of faded baggy jeans, and a simple, white v-neck t-shirt. He had put on a bit of cologne when he left, but he hadn't made his appearance the best. Really, the only thing he was looking for was something to drink, something to make him forget.

He ignored the eyes of women upon him as he entered the club. He walked up to the bar, sure that his eyes looked hard and his face looked angry as hell. He didn't really care, though, as long as it kept people away from him. He looked around after he had his first shot of vodka, wincing from the taste of it. But that didn't stop him from ordering more drinks. He was determined to lose himself tonight.

He didn't even bother looking around for Sango or Miroku, although he'd promised to meet the two of them again since he had finally moved back to Japan, leaving Kikyo in America. He snarled, remembering everything.

They'd been arguing so much, and he didn't think he'd be able to handle it anymore. She'd told him that she needed _space_, needed to be _alone_ for a while, so he'd left without any complaints, left with nothing but an angry heart. He growled, bringing the cup of vodka up to his lips again, downing the strong liquid in anger.

He chuckled, already feeling himself getting drunk. He stood up slowly and carefully, making his way to the corner of the dance floor. Males and females surrounded the dance floor, their bodies moving leisurely against the other, completely oblivious to their surroundings as the held their half-empty cups of beer in their hands while grinding against the other.

But someone caught his eye. He spotted a girl around his age dancing, most of all the attention centered on her. Males were grasping her hips, pushing her body hard against theirs. And for a reason that was unknown to him, he let out a growl.

But just as quickly as the males came, they left, and he continued to look at her, completely intrigued with the way her hips rolled and swayed to the beats that played, the way her head was tossed back and the way her eyes closed, showing her long, raven lashes. She was indeed beautiful. She was tall and thin, but not a stick as most women he had been with. She was definitely curvy, and her hips had some width to them, and he watched the way her body moved seductively as her raven hair fell back. And even though he had no fucking idea who she was, he fucking wanted her.

So he moved closer, his golden eyes watching her like she was his prey. He moved up behind her and let out a groan for _some_ reason when his hands caught a hold of her hips. He buried his nose into her neck, and he was hit with her strong, sweet scent, already finding it addictive although he could _definitely_ smell the alcohol on her that she had been drinking. He smirked, knowing they were both drunk.

Suddenly, he grabbed her hips roughly and spun her around so he could see her face, and then, his golden met her brown. He growled when her mouth fell open in surprise, but he was too drunk to care or tell if it was the good kind of surprise or bad. But then she let out a giggle before winking at him, and immediately began grinding her body against his, their hips touching. He heard himself growl out in pleasure at the contact, and his hands began exploring her sweaty body more.

Somehow, it seemed like he'd seen her face somewhere before, felt like he already knew her.

_People around you should really have nothing to say,_

_Me, I'm just proud of the fact that you've done it your way._

_But the weekend's here, started it right, even if I only get part of it right,_

He groaned when felt her hips move against his harder, but he was in control. He looked down to their hips, his eyes catching sight of her cleavage. She ground her body against his harder and harder, his hands on her hips only encouraging her movements.

_Live for today, plan for tomorrow, party tonight, party tonight,_

_Dying to meet your girlfriends that you said you might bring,_

_If they're the ones that tell you that you do the right thing._

His eyes wondered back up to her face again, and he knew, just _knew_ that he'd seen her before. Her brown eyes were on his gold again, and suddenly she let out a giggle, wrapping her arms around his neck, and then she was serious again, getting to work once more, her body moving against his. He smiled down at her, knowing all of the attention they were causing.

_Houston girls, love the way it goes down,_

_Atlanta girls, love the way it goes down,_

_Vegas girls, love the way it goes down._

She knew exactly what she was doing, but at the same time, she didn't. She relished in the feeling of his strong, hot hands running over her stomach, gripping her hips. Her hips continued to roll against his, and she heard him moan, and he put his forehead against hers. She looked into those golden eyes again, and she knew that she knew him, that he was someone from her past, but she was _way_ too horny and drunk and lazy to care or at least try remembering him.

_But I gotta say, oh baby, oh baby, why is this so familiar?_

_Just met, already, feel like I know the real her,_

_You must've done this before, this can't be your first time._

She didn't care anymore, and she felt her hips moved against his more and then she leaned in to kiss him. It was sloppy, but it held _something_, or at least it felt like it did. She didn't know, maybe it was because she was incredibly drunk or incredibly turned on by this familiar man, but either way, it felt good. Her tongue met his and she heard him growl and she moaned. She pulled away from him, panting, before smiling and tossing her head back again, still dancing on him as he buried his nose into her neck again.

_We must've been here before, it's still fresh on my mind,_

_You got the shit that somebody would look for but won't find,_

_You must've done this before, this can't be your first time._

He pulled back to see that smirk on her face, her eyes shining. He growled, knowing that she knew how turned on he was. He gasped suddenly when she moved against him again. She had the _nerve_ to grind up against his erection, and he watched her in interest as her pretty lips parted and she let out a moan of her own. There was _definitely_ something.

_They keep telling me don't save you,_

_If I ignore all that advice, then something isn't right, then who will I complain to?_

_But the weekend's here, started it right, even if you only get part of it right,_

_Live for today, plan for tomorrow, party tonight, party tonight._

She met his lips for another sloppy kiss, their tongue's dancing together as she continued to grid against him until he felt like he would cum in his pants. Panting, he pulled away, and there went that _damn_ smile on her face again. He followed in astonishment as she grabbed his rough hand into her soft one, began leading him to _somewhere_, refusing to pay attention to the looks they were currently getting.

"C'mon," she whispered into his ear as if she was telling him a very important secret. "I don't live far from here. All it takes is about two minutes to get there, I promise." He felt himself shiver, and he looked at her with his eyes wide as if he had some sense knocked into him, but that definitely wasn't the case. He couldn't think straight at all, and before he knew it, she was pulling him behind her once more.

And she was right, it didn't take long at all. As soon as they were in her small, cramped apartment, she locked the door before lunging herself at him, her long, smooth legs wrapping around his waist and her arms wrapped around his neck as she kissed him with everything in her. He moaned at the feel of her completely, and he wanted her tonight and there was no way in hell that he wasn't going to have her.

It felt like he'd known her in the past, and the feeling was so strong that it was clouding up all of his senses even more than the alcohol was. But then again, he was strongly intoxicated, unbelievingly turned on, and he felt as if he didn't have control of his body anymore, but he felt like _she_ did. Her legs wrapped around his waist tighter, her hot, wet tongue pushing against his. His hands cupped her ass, and he was desperately trying to keep balanced, but she was making it hard to with the way her hips continued to move against his, with the way she was fucking kissing him. _God_, she made him feel hot all over, and he was surprised that his legs hadn't gave out yet.

"Fuck," she moaned out when his hands squeezed her ass. She pushed into him more, licking her lips, her brown eyes lusty. "Do you want me to make you cum?" She asked him, her eyes wide. He could already tell that she wasn't innocent in anyway, but still, it kind of felt like it. She gave him a nice feeling, made him feel even more drunk than he already was.

"I just want to be inside of you," he panted out in her ear, causing her to moan. "Bedroom?"

"That door right there," she whispered, pointing to it as she brought her lips back against his, moaning at the feeling of him.

In an instant, he had her pinned against the bed, and she had that stupid smirk on her face again, her eyes glinting mischievously as she looked up at him. "I want to have you inside of me, right now." She demanded.

_You got your guards up, I do too,_

_There's things we might discover,_

_But you got a past and I do too, we're perfect for each other._

He took her shirt off, his following after, and then growled when he couldn't get her bra off. She laughed and unclasped it herself, still feeling extremely drunk. Her breasts came into view, and instantly, he leaned down to capture her left one between his lips, causing her to moan and arch into him, her hands already gripping the sheets. He paid both of them attention, sucking and licking one, then switching to the other one.

She loved the attention that he was paying her body, and usually, she was _so_ in control, so _dominant _when it came to her sex life, but this time, he was, and she couldn't fight with that, and she found herself actually enjoying it.

He smirked up at her, his lips moving down her body, kissing all of her skin, causing shivers to go down her back. She tried to keep silent, not be as loud, try to gain control back over her body, but the way he was loving it, she couldn't help herself.

She bit her lip when he removed her skinny jeans, then removed her lacy black panties with his teeth, letting out a growl. She looked down at him, biting her lip harder.

_Houston girls, love the way it goes down,_

_Atlanta girls, love the way it goes down,_

_Vegas girls, love the way it goes down._

She let out an extremely loud cry as soon as his tongue touched her hot core. She wasn't able to stop herself from moaning, stop her hips from bucking up.

"You're so wet," he growled out, and then he began moving his tongue in and out of her, making her cry out again, louder. And he suddenly wished that she knew his name so she would be crying that out instead, but she didn't need to know _everything_. He was still drunk but not drunk enough to think of this as something more than sex.

"A-ah…please…please don't stop," she called out. He smirked and pushed a finger inside of her sex while licking her clit, making her back arch, her hips thrust up into his face. "M-more!" She cried out, and he pushed another finger inside of her tightness.

"Tight, too," He moaned out, feeling his cock already throbbing inside of his jeans, begging for release. He leaned forward, his tongue touching her again, making her hips buck up into him once more. He put pushed two fingers inside of her again, and she continued to buck towards him, her eyes closed and her pretty, pink mouth parted as the delicious moans spilled out of them. "Fuck," she cursed, bucking up more.

All it took was another thrust of his tongue and faster fingers, and then, she came all over his hands and mouth. He licked her honey off of his lips before bringing his fingers up to his mouth to taste her sweetness again.

Her gorgeous body was still shaking from her orgasm, so he took this as the opportunity to pull his jeans off, but not before pulling a condom out of his back pocket, rolling it down his length. He leaned down to kiss her, positioning himself at her entrance. He looked at her again, and that feeling came back to him, and he wanted to remember her so damn bad.

"What's your name?" he couldn't help himself.

"I'm Kagome," she panted out. "Are you going to put it in and fucking _move_, or what?"

Still, he couldn't remember her. But her name sounded _very _familiar, as was her face. But deciding that there were more important things to do than trying to remember who she was, he buried himself deep inside of her, him groaning and her letting out a cry, her legs wrapping around him tight. He smirked. He was sure as hell having fun.

_But I gotta say, oh baby, oh baby, why is this so familiar?_

_Just met, already, feel like I know the real her._

_You must've done this before, this can't be your first time,_

_We must've been here before, it's still fresh on my mind._

_You got the shit that somebody would look for but won't find._

_You must've done this before, this can't be your first time,_

He was moving, and she was jerking her body up to meet every _painfully_ slow thrust. He was causing her pleasure either way, but she didn't _want_ him to hold back.

"I'm nowhere near a virgin and you're _not _hurting me. Think you could go a little faster?" she moaned out.

She heard him let out a chuckle. "I could definitely tell. Just wanted to see how," he leaned down, his tongue flicking against her earlobe, and she moaned, "impatient you are."

She gasped out when the slow pace gradually increased until the point where he was pounding inside of her, and she was enjoying every second of it. She wondered what his name was, _who _he was. Whoever, she was sure that she knew him from _somewhere_, and then she suddenly found herself wishing that she wasn't as drunk so she could at least get this part of her memory back. For some reason, she _wanted _to know him.

'_Cause to her I'm just a rapper and soon she'll have met another,_

_So if tonight's an accident, tomorrow we'll recover,_

_And I know I'm not supposed to judge a book by it's cover,_

_I don't wanna be in the blind but sometimes I Stevie Wonder about her._

"_Don't_ stop!" She called out, coming close to another orgasm. He continued to pound in and out of her, and soon, it became impossible to meet his thrusts. "Fuck me!" She growled out, and he did, moving faster inside of her.

"Fuck," he growled out. "Fucking hell!" He moaned out, feeling her walls become tighter around his cock.

_And she with it if I'm with it and I'm with it,_

_I know what makes her smile, but I won't know what makes her different,_

_Or should I just be realistic? Lipstick on the glass,_

_See, I know this ain't your first, but it's better than the last._

He thrust inside of her hard, brushing against that special spot that she had within her. She screamed as she came, her body shaking once again from her second orgasm. He groaned and released his fluids into the condom, then pulled out of her, suddenly feeling extremely tired.

_You must've done this before, this can't be your first time,_

_We must've been here before, it's still fresh on my mind,_

_You got the shit that somebody would look for but won't find,_

_You must've done this before, this __**can't**__ be your first time._

Immediately, she fell asleep, their tired, sweaty bodies dampening the sheets to Kagome's bed. He looked at her, his head throbbing, wanting so badly to remember who she was. One thing for sure, though, he knew her. But finally, he gave up, letting sleep take over his whole body.

**A/N: Yay, finally finished! Don't forget to tell me if you guys want more, and leave a comment and tell me how I did. C'mon, I need reviews if you want me to continue. So please, say if you liked it or not, cause if it completely sucked, then I'll just stop right here. But don't just alert or favorite, seriously tell me what you think, I really need to know.**

**Sorry, I know that Kagome is super OOC and pretty slutty, but she has to be for this story. It's not the 'real her', though, and Inuyasha will figure that out soon. Anyway, hope you all enjoyed it! Just tell me if you think it's good enough to write more.**


	2. Guilt

**A/N: Alright, I really need to clear some things up. In this story, I know that Kagome is very OOC, but that's why the title's called The Real Her, so that maybe Inuyasha can discover the real her. I know it's pretty confusing, but she's not going to be this way forever.**

**I've been thinking about deleting it and starting all over again, because I don't feel as if it's clear enough. But trust me, I have a lot of intentions for this story, and there's more to it than it seems to be. I'm not sure, I've really been thinking about it. I don't really feel like it's good enough, and I feel like I should've spent more time working on it. But you guys tell me what you think I should do, alright? I don't want you all thinking that Kagome's just a slut who wants to sleep with everyone, and I don't want you thinking that she's a bitch either, because she's definitely not.**

**But anyway, just give it a try. I mean, it's gonna have to take patience, but will you guys tell me what you think I should do?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or the characters that I used for this story in any way. I own nothing but my ideas.**

It was the piercing sunlight that made her stir in her sleep. Finally, with a half-hearted growl, she arose from where she lay, and she instantly regretted the movement. She let out a hiss when she felt that dull, throbbing pain rush through her head, and she whimpered and froze in her stop, then slowly brought two fingers to her forehead so she could massage her temples, hoping that would help her situation. It didn't, and she felt like crying from the horrendous hangover that she was suffering from.

It didn't help any when she looked down at herself, only to discover that she was covered in nothing at all but the thin sheets that she'd made her bed with. She cursed to herself, hesitantly looking over beside her.

Her eyes widened and she instantly covered her hand over her mouth so she wouldn't let out a scream into the silence that surrounded her. Her heart felt as if it would burst, and suddenly, she didn't know what to do.

"Inuyasha?" was the only name that came out of her mouth before she could stop it from happening, and she watched, her brown eyes as wide as they could get as she saw one of the ears that sat atop of his head twitch at the sound of his name being called, as a grimace-like expression crossed his face, and then he slowly sat up. She stared at him in surprise as he was doing her, and suddenly, she felt angry.

She suddenly felt self-conscious, also, so she hugged the sheets closer to her body, her eyes narrowed at him. She watched him as his expression turned from surprise to anger, those golden eyes narrowing at her in anger, and also confusion.

"Kagome?" he asked incredulously before bringing his fingertips up to massage his temples, shutting his eyes tight and then opening them again, as if he was trying to distinguish if this was a dream or not. Kagome rolled her eyes when she heard him groan.

"Idiot, that doesn't help at all, I tried," she leaned forward, removing his fingers from his temples only to meet his eyes, those damned eyes that created all of the mess, those damn eyes that started all those damned feelings all of those damned years ago, so she instantly pulled away from him, taking a deep breath, looking around her small, confined room. "Listen, I'm going to go take a shower and get dressed, it'll only take about 10 minutes. You should get dressed, I have some pills in the kitchen, alright?"

All he could do was nod, and when she got up, pulling the sheets away from her body, he didn't know whether to close his eyes or just _stare _at her in surprise. So he opted for the second choice since she hadn't scolded him not to.

To be honest, he couldn't remember _anything _from last night. All that he knew was that Miroku had invited him out to go partying, to take some of the weight off of his shoulders. Then, _somehow_, he'd ended up fucking _Kagome_, Kagome as in the girl he knew back in high-school, his girlfriend's baby cousin, the good girl.

He'd never paid any attention at all to Kikyo's little cousin. If he did, what kind of boyfriend would he be? Sure, he thought that she was cute and all back then, but now, as he sat back against the headboard of _her _bed, watching her pull the sheets away from her body, tossing her raven, mid-length, glossy hair back, he wished that he _had _paid her attention back then, or at least talked to her a bit more, tried a bit harder.

He found himself wondering what their night had been like. And then he realized that she was nothing like he remembered her, because the Kagome that he used to know _certainly_ didn't have all of those curves, her breasts weren't as full, and her hips weren't so nicely shaped, weren't as wide as they were now. Her legs were extremely long now, and her skin looked as soft and inviting as her lips. He growled, wishing that he could touch her again or relive their night, this time so he could actually remember all that happened. But that wasn't right, because he didn't know her anymore, and he was sure that she wasn't the same, innocent little Kagome that he knew back in high school, that innocent little Kagome who always covered her nicely shaped body in baggy clothing. She wasn't that Kagome that he used to tease and laugh at.

He remembered her well. She had always kept to herself, sure to never open her mouth and utter a word, almost as if she was afraid of being judged by people. She'd always hung out with Sango and Miroku, but kept far away from Kikyo. He also remembered that since the two of them were cousins, they were forced into a lot of stuff together, causing her to hang out with Kikyo more than he could tell she wanted to. But he had known, even been sure that the two of them never really favored each other. He wasn't exactly sure why, but it was a feeling that he always got when Kagome was around the two of them.

Maybe it was because he had always been around, he wasn't sure. Kagome had been an outcast back then, and Kikyo was well-known by almost everyone. Plus, Kagome had always seemed to be uncomfortable around him. He'd never gotten the chance to talk to her much, but whenever he did, she'd seemed to trail off, make up excuses to get away. Maybe she'd did that because him and Kikyo had teased her back then, but he'd meant no harm to her at all. He thought that it was fun to mess around with her, and he'd tried being nice to her since she was his girlfriend's cousin and all, but it seemed that no matter what, Kagome had never liked him. So eventually, that led to him not paying her any attention at all.

He growled once more when he heard her let out a little amused chuckle, looking back at him over her shoulder. He looked away, his cheeks red, and suddenly, he felt like a little boy who'd just been caught with his hands in the cookie jar when he knew well that he wasn't supposed to have any.

"It's alright, you know," she said quietly, causing his head to snap up at her. Instead of concentrating on her body, he tried his _best _to concentrate on her face. "You're not the only man who's seen me naked, so you have nothing to be embarrassed about," she gave him a bit of a smile, but it didn't really reach her eyes. All that he could do was stare back at her, wondering what in the hell had happened to her after all of this time. "I'll be out of here soon. You can shower here, only if you want to." She gave him one last smile before she turned on her heel, shutting the bathroom door behind her.

Once she was gone, he sat up, ignoring the throbbing in his head, and also between his legs. He growled, wondering what in the hell was going on. She didn't seem like the old Kagome that he knew. The old Kagome would have never allowed a man to see her naked, never would have been so blunt about things. Thinking about her made his head hurt even more, made the throbbing between his legs throb even more, so he thought of something else as he pulled his boxers up. His mind wandered to Kikyo as he continued to dress himself, and he let out a growl, wondering exactly what she was doing at this moment.

He knew that he should feel guilty about what he'd did with Kagome, but he didn't and he wasn't sure why. Instead of trying to think of a million reasons why, he settled on the first thought that popped into his head. It was because he didn't remember.

He stood slowly, it almost hurt to move at all. He stumbled into the kitchen, the tips of his fingers massaging his temples. He figured that Kagome was right, because that wasn't helping him at all. Quietly and carefully, he began opening the cabinet doors and drawers, and he let out a sigh of relief when he finally found the bottle of pills. He took two of the small, white pills and popped them into his mouth, grabbing a cup and walking over to the faucet to pour some cold water into it. He downed it quickly, hoping to feel relieved soon.

He sat down at the small, round, dining table that was in the middle of the cramped kitchen, resting his head back against the chair. He looked around the tiny, confined space, and his eyes suddenly focused on the refrigerator that sat against the wall, and he heard his stomach growl. He ignored it, deciding that he'd wait until Kagome was finished with her shower.

Images popped into his mind at the thought of her _showering_, and he growled, trying his best _not _to imagine what her body would look like, dripping wet, her raven hair dripping down her back. He shook the images away, for it only made his head hurt worse, only confused him more.

Still, he couldn't believe how much the little Kagome that he used to know had _changed_. Of course, he knew that she was older now…definitely more…_mature_, but she wasn't shy anymore, and that was something that was hard to get used to, because that was the only Kagome that he'd ever known. She hadn't even seemed embarrassed about the fact that they'd apparently had sex, and he wondered how it had all happened, but figured he didn't want to ask her, for it would only make things more awkward between them. He didn't know where he stood now, but he supposed that this would never happen between them again. But deep down, he found himself wondering if Kagome had actually matured into that type of woman. The kind of women that slept with men and acted as if it was nothing, acted as if it had never happened.

Hell, she hadn't even seemed to feel _guilty _about the whole ordeal, and he felt like he should be mad at her for that, but he found it hard to be. But he wanted so badly to be mad, so he decided that he was going to act like it. It may have been childish, but when he came to realization that he felt nothing at all, that he felt as if he wanted to relive the night so he could know exactly what happened, feel her body against his again, it made him feel bad.

Fuck, and he didn't even know if Kikyo and him were still together.

"Inuyasha?" he heard her call out his name, heard her footsteps come closer and closer to where he was. His ears twitched, and he looked around to face her. Finally, she came into his view, dressed in a pair of denim shorts, and a simple white tank top. But still, she looked breath taking. Her raven hair was up in a messy pony-tail, and of course, she was wearing no make-up. He never remembered a time when she did, but he was sure that she looked better without it anyway. The way she was, it was natural beauty. "Are you hungry? You couldn't found something to eat if you were, I wouldn't have minded," she smiled at him, but it wasn't a flirty or mischievous or forced smile, it was just a smile. He remembered that she never smiled much back in high school. "So, how are things?"

It sort of angered him how she acted as if nothing had happened, how calm she was acting about everything. He was _positive_ that he fucked her last night. Why was she acting so calm? Did she feel guilty at all? He wanted to be even more angry, but when she walked over to him, her hips swinging and her long, tan legs moving, his mind went blank, and suddenly he couldn't figure out why things seemed to be so difficult. He had been with a million girls before Kikyo, but Kagome seemed to make him go numb all over and he wanted to smack himself when he realized that he _must've_ been attracted to his girlfriend's baby cousin.

He watched her in interest as she took a seat in the chair that was across from his, and he frowned. She was making things so difficult for some reason. He watched her again as she scooted her chair up a bit, wiggling her butt in her seat as if she was trying to get comfortable in the chair. Finally, she rested her elbows on the surface of the round dining table, then rested her face against her palms, her eyes on his as if she was undoubtedly interested in whatever he intended on saying.

He leaned his head back against the chair again, trying to ignore the heat he felt in the cheeks because of the way she was looking at him. He growled, and she giggled. "Things have been just fine. You…you've changed a lot."

She giggled again, her eyes looking down to the round table, her small finger making patters against the surface of the wood. "I kind of got tired of people pushing me around all the time, and I kind of felt like it was time for a change, you know?"

He nodded his head calmly, but on the inside, he was exploding. He had slept with _Kagome_, and now, he was sitting here close to her, and she was trying to have a normal conversation, but it _wasn't_ normal, it was awkward and he didn't know what to do and he knew he'd made a mistake but he didn't feel guilty about it, and he was starting to wonder if it had been his imagination because she was acting like _nothing_ went on last night.

She cleared her throat, looking up to smile at him again. "Um, so are you in town for a while?"

He was tired of the damn questions, he felt angry and he wanted to leave. "Actually, I'm staying here for a few months. I actually live in the apartment complex downtown. It's really, really nice."

Kagome smiled brightly. "I've heard, it must be nice, living in an apartment down there. You must make a lot of money. Still working for your father's business?"

Inuyasha growled, and Kagome's head snapped up to him, confusion taking over her pretty features for a split second. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to keep himself from exploding on her. He was _so _confused. "Of course I do. But father agreed to my request. I needed to…to get away from America for a while."

"What happened, Takahashi?" she asked, calling him by his surname.

Finally, he couldn't take the questions she continued to ask, and he was done with all of the small talk that she was making. He growled, his golden eyes narrowing on her big, surprised brown ones. "How in the fuck can you not feel guilty about all that happened last night?" he asked her, his voice gruff and angry. "You're acting as if it never happened, but I'm sure that it did. Do you not feel guilty about sleeping with your fucking _cousin's _boyfriend, Kagome?" He desperately wanted to know why she had changed so much, because the old Kagome would have _never _acted this way.

He watched her face, his breathing and heart beat rapid. Her eyes were big for about five seconds, and in an instant she narrowed the to slits, looking him straight into his eyes. "Listen, I was only trying to make things less awkward. I was actually trying to be nice to you, but I see that you're the same, indifferent, inconsiderate, egotistical jerk you were before, and I feel like it's high school all over again."

He rolled his eyes, letting out a growl. Before he knew it, his hand snapped across the dining table to grip her arm roughly, and she tried to pull away, wincing when she felt his claws almost dig into her soft flesh. "Let go, you fucking asshole!" She spat at him.

He dug his claws into her skin deeper until they were threatening to break through her soft skin. "What in the hell happened to that old Kagome that I used to know? You don't even _care_."

Finally, his grip loosened and she instantly pulled away from him, her face red and her thin, dark brows scrunched up in anger. She pointed a finger to the door. "Leave! I don't have to explain _anything_ to you, Inuyasha!"

His face was still twisted up in anger, and with a shrug of his shoulders, he made his way to the door, not looking back once. He was just as pissed off as she was.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"So," Kagome started softly, the edge of her coffee cup on her lips. She took a sip of it before calmly setting it back down on the table, her eyes finally looking up into her friend's. "Why didn't anyone tell me that that egotistical, obnoxious, self-centered, hot-headed, dim-witted, inconsiderate jerk was back in Kyoto?"

From surprise, Sango spilled some of the piping hot coffee over her silk, white shirt. She cursed, jumping when the hot coffee make contact with her skin. Kagome wasn't in the mood to laugh, so instead of doing that, she reached over with a napkin, wiping at the stain on Sango's new shirt. Sango cursed again and snatched the tissue from Kagome, and Kagome rolled her eyes and cleared her throat deeply, causing Sango's head to snap up. Sango let out a nervous laugh, shrugging her shoulders leisurely.

"Don't give me that shit, Sango," Kagome said gruffly, a growl erupting from her throat. "What in the _hell _is that jerk doing back here, and why didn't you tell me? You could've warned me."

Sango sighed, looking at her watch. Kagome was off from work, and as soon as her shift was over, she had called her on her, telling her that she needed to meet her immediately. She had agreed to meet her best friend in a small café that was usually empty and quiet. The coffee here was horrible, but she had figured that that didn't matter, because if her best friend really needed her, she'd be here for her no matter where or what the situation was. However, she now felt frozen.

Sango looked down at her hands guiltily. "Listen, I know how sensitive you are when _anyone_ brings him up," she started, letting out a sigh. "I didn't want you mad. You were starting to get depressed again, and I knew for sure that going clubbing that night would cheer you up. However, Miroku had apparently made plans without me and invited Inuyasha out, too. Of course, I was mad at him," she paused, looking at her watch again. "I didn't want you to get drunk, but you already were. So I figured, 'what the hell? I'll just let her enjoy herself tonight since the chances of them running into each other were slim', but unfortunately, you did."

Kagome looked down at the table, hating the awkward silence that now surrounded the two of them. But no, she wasn't and could never be mad at Sango, since she knew it wasn't her fault. So she grasped her friends hands, causing her to look up at her. Kagome smiled, showing her dazzling, straight and white set of teeth, being sure to let Sango get the message that she wasn't mad. "You tried, and it's not your fault."

Sango looked at her suddenly, her eyebrows furrowing forward. "How did you know, Kagome? Did you see him or something today? You know, his apartment building isn't far from yours."

Kagome shook her head slowly, a sort of smile on her face although it didn't really reach her eyes.

"You slept with him, didn't you?" Sango asked, shaking her head, her eyes wide in surprise. Kagome nodded, bringing her cup of coffee to her lips again. "You were pretty drunk, huh?" Sango asked.

"Of course," Kagome replied, a frustrated look on her face when she saw the look of surprise in Sango's eyes again. "Do not tell that damned husband of yours _anything_, alright? I know him and Inuyasha are probably going to be hanging out again."

Sango slowly nodded her head, that guilty look in her eyes again. "Please tell me that you don't have feelings for him again."

Kagome scoffed, but that frustrated look was only on her face to mask her confusion. "How could I love him again, Sango? He's still with Kikyo," she explained slowly, taking a deep breath. "I tried to play it cool, ya know, be nice to him, because I didn't want to explode with all these feelings that I've been having for these past five years. It was all going good, we were going good. I woke up and found him beside me, and at first, I thought I was going to have to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming, to be sure that it was him beside of me, and it _was. _After five years of crying, not feeling good enough, there he was." Kagome chuckled, but her eyes were sad and this made Sango sad, so she grasped at Kagome's hands, rubbing them with the pads of her thumbs, trying to soothe her.

Kagome shook her head, pulling her hands away. "I'm fine," she said, but her voice gave her feelings away. She had definitely lied. She was definitely not _fine_. "I wanted to hate him, but then, I couldn't. So I went to take a shower, being sure to tell him that he could shower there if he wanted. When I came back, he was sitting there, and I didn't want to admit anything, so I tried to make a conversation with him. He had been acting weird, of course, but I was too. I asked him a lot of questions, and maybe that was why he got mad, I'm not sure. I asked him what caused him to move back here, and then, he blew up, Sango," Kagome took another deep breath, shutting her eyes tight as if she was trying to get the image out of her mind. "He was cussing, screaming at me. He said asked me why the _fuck _I didn't feel guilty about sleeping with him, but trust me, I did more than anything. I felt _so_ guilty, and I just wanted to make things better. But he wouldn't let that happen. He grabbed into my arm, and he wouldn't let go until I answered him, but I didn't know what to say."

Sango shook her head, watching Kagome as tears fell down her pink cheeks, her eyes closed. Before she could reach out to comfort her, Kagome's big brown eyes snapped open and she wiped the remaining tears away, smiling at Sango. But once again, her pretty eyes told a different story completely. "Sorry that the coffee sucked, and for the sob story. But thanks, Sango, really. You just being here for me means a hell of a lot."

Another tear ran down Kagome's cheek, and Sango frowned as she watched her quickly wiped it away.

They left, tossing the semi-burnt coffee into the garbage can. Kagome drove home with a broken heart, and Sango with a guilty one.

But one thing Sango was sure of was that Kagome was a fighter, and she _refused _to show weakness.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_(2 days later)_

"She's not a bitch, Inuyasha," Miroku explained calmly to the agitated hanyou. "You don't know her, and one thing that she can't stand is people judging her. She's a good person when you get to know her."

"Keh," Inuyasha mumbled, "Trust me, I know the bitch, and she's not a fuckin' good person."

Miroku let out a sigh. They had been sitting in Inuyasha's large apartment, a bowl of chips by their side as they watched the game that was on television. "Listen, I know you used to tease her and everything, but I thought you were always just playing around. Why so serious this time? What did she do to you? It has to be something," Miroku sighed again as Inuyasha growled. "Hell, I didn't even know you'd met her yet. Again, how'd you two meet again?"

"I got a little bit too drunk when I went to that club, and _somehow_, we ended up screwing." Inuyasha said as if it was the most simplest thing in the word before taking a sip of his soda. Miroku, however, spluttered his everywhere as soon as Inuyasha spoke those words.

"You had sex with _Kagome_?" Miroku spluttered, his eyes as wide as saucers. Inuyasha rolled his eyes, annoyed.

"I hope you know," he replied, "that I remember nothing and I'm glad that I don't. Still, it amazes me that I even slept with her. You know, we were both so drunk that we didn't even remember each other. But don't tell that crazy wife of yours _anything_, you hear me, Roku? I better not hear of a word from her."

Miroku's eyes were still wide, watching Inuyasha as he leaned his head back to allow more soda into his mouth. "I always knew that Kagome loved sex, but I never thought that you two would actually do it. What was it like?"

Inuyasha rolled his eyes at Miroku, scoffing. "Like I said, I don't remember," he paused for a while as if he was thinking of something. "What happened to her, Roku? She's definitely not the same Kagome that I used to tease back in high school. She was innocent before, and now she's nowhere near. The Kagome that I used to know used to be a virgin, and she'd never go out clubbing. She used to be all about studying, and now she's all about sex? What caused her to change so much?" Inuyasha questioned, a look of confusion in his eyes.

Miroku sighed, shaking his head. "You'll find out one day, but for now, I don't really think it's time for you to know. Just know that you hurt her in more ways than one back then. It wasn't just the fact that you and Kikyo teased her, but it was also another reason, one that she doesn't really want people to know. There's no way I'm telling you. If you talk to her, then maybe she'll tell you herself, who knows? Nevermind. There's no way she'd tell you."

"She's not going to. I know that she's still mad at me. I didn't mean to scream at her, you know. I guess it pissed me off, because she acted like she didn't _care _about what had happened, acted like she didn't care about the fact that we'd fucked even though I'm still with Kikyo."

Finally, it was Miroku's turn to roll his eyes.

"Sure. Why the hell are you all the way in Japan, and she's all the way back in America then?" Miroku asked, a knowing smirk on his face. Inuyasha heard himself growl out, gripping his soda can tight so that he almost crushed it. "She's still modeling, right?"

"Of course," Inuyasha replied.

"And you're _sure _that you two are still together?" Miroku asked again.

Inuyasha felt himself frown, and he shrugged his shoulders up and then down and straightened himself up, hoping that now, a mask of indifference was on his face. He honestly didn't know, and talking about everything made it feel so much more worse, and he didn't want to anymore. "She said she needed space. That doesn't necessarily mean that we're over."

"Whatever you say," Miroku said, and Inuyasha hoped that was the end of the conversation. But much to his displeasure, Miroku spoke up again. "You better pray to the gods that Kikyo doesn't find out you slept with Kagome."

Inuyasha growled and shook his head. "She's not going to, I'm sure."

His golden eyes focused back onto the TV, but he was no longer interested in watching the game or eating chips and drinking soda and catching up with Miroku, because for some reason, he felt horrible, and he felt himself wishing that the argument with Kagome had never happened. With a frown on his face, he finished his soda off, his eyes focusing on the whiteness of the carpet.

He realized that everything was confusing and it hurt so much. He felt the guilt for Kikyo, and for some reason, Kagome was involved, too. He didn't know why he felt guilty about her though, because after all, it was her fault, right? It was both of their faults for being immature and getting drunk and ending up in bed together, but he was responsible for everything that happened after that. For the argument, for her anger.

His head snapped up to Miroku when he heard him laugh. "You feel guilty, don't you?"

Instead of waiting for a yes or no from Inuyasha, his smile widened and he opened his mouth to speak again. "Since you feel so guilty, me and Sango are going out for lunch in a few days, and Kagome's coming too. You should come. Maybe she won't be as pissed."

Inuyasha scoffed. It was already set in his mind that he wasn't going to join any of them for lunch. He wasn't going to apologize to Kagome until she apologized first.

**A/N: I know it's not much, but if you want, I'll continue. I have more in plan, and it's not going to be some stupid, boring plot, trust me. Things will get more interesting. But like I said, tell me what you guys want and think, seriously. I'm seriously stuck here. But yeah, reviews would be lovely. I need all the help I can get, lol. **


	3. Seductive

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or the characters I used for this story in any way. I own nothing but my ideas.**

He had already showered and tended to his long, silky, silver hair. He wore a simple white button-up shirt and a pair of faded jeans, and the faint scent of cologne was on him. He let out a growl and ran a rough, tanned hand through his hair like he did whenever he was nervous or agitated, tapped his foot on the floor impatiently before he looked at his watch. He growled and hustled over to the white couch to take a seat, hoping that maybe that would cool him down.

He really didn't know why he was going. At first he was so sure that he wasn't going to, but then Miroku kept begging and begging, and Sango kept bitching and bitching. After not being able to take anymore, he had finally gave in before swearing that the two had teamed up against him.

He looked at his watch once more and groaned when he saw the time. Miroku had said that they were all to meet there around 5:30, and it had just turned 5:00. He stood slowly, grumbling incoherent curse words all the while. He walked over to the table and snatched his keys up, wondering why in the hell he'd let those two so called 'friends' win him over in the first place.

It was childish, but he was still pissed at Kagome, and he didn't want anywhere near her. He wanted her to apologize first, but he was sure that it wasn't going to happen. Maybe it would have with the old Kagome, but not with the new one. He found himself missing the weaker version of her, because now, she seemed so strong and so sure about everything so that nothing could break her or tear her apart.

He smirked.

If she thought that was the case, she was wrong. He would definitely get her to apologize first.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"You know what?" the young damsel exclaimed, an aggravated expression on her face as she stepped into her heels that were so high that they seemed of nothing but a death trap. "_Fuck_ you _and _Miroku," she spat out at her friend, making Sango laugh slightly. "You think it's funny, but it's _not_. You know what happened, Sango. You know that he's going to be looking for nothing but an apology, which I _certainly _will not give him. There's no way in hell that's going to happen. So if this was another fucking scheme coming from you and Miroku, it's definitely not going to work out, I can assure you that."

"You done yet?" Sango asked Kagome with a roll of her eyes before letting out a light chuckle. "Listen, maybe he's not looking for that, you never know. You know that I only want the best for you, Kagome. He's going to be staying here for a while, so I heard, and you know exactly how him and Miroku are. They're best friends, and we're best friends, and you hang with me and my husband. I really don't want any tension between you two. Just a few months and he'll be gone. I don't want you two trying to kill each other. Get your head out of your ass, and at least try apologizing to him first."

"But I'm not the one who needs to! I've told you this, Sango, and you seriously don't understand," Kagome's face looked unbelievably livid as she finished off her make-up. "_He's _the one who screamed at _me_, and I was only trying to make shit a little bit less awkward, considering that I had apparently fucked him the night before. And he lashes out on me. You can't stand there and tell me that he has a rational reason to do that."

Kagome flipped her raven hair before running the brush through it again, then turned around to face Sango with that angry expression still masking her gorgeous features. She smoothed out her mid-thigh length black dress before opening her mouth to speak again. "_Why _are you all doing this to me? At least give me an answer to that."

Sango sighed. "I've told you. None of us need you two at each other's throats while he's staying here for who knows how long. I'm sure that you two can just work out your problems-" Before Sango could finish her sentence, Kagome shook her head and let out a sarcastic chuckle.

"No way. I'm not going to apologize for something I didn't do," Kagome shook her head, letting out another sarcastic chuckle. "You know that those damned claws of his almost dug into my arm? Anyway, I'm not staying for long. I promised that I'd give Kouga a visit this afternoon."

Sango shook her head, and suddenly, she felt worried. "You're still fucking him? You know that he's dating Ayame, don't you? Who knows, he might even propose to her…why do you do this, Kagome?"

Kagome shrugged her shoulders, a look of indifference settling on her gorgeous features. "Technically, it's really not my fault, nor should she be mad at me if she was to ever find out. Kouga's the one who keeps asking for sex. And trust me, he's doesn't speak very fondly of her. From what he tells me, he plans on breaking it off soon."

"But _you're _the one that keeps giving it to him. And you're not sure about that. Why can't you just have sex with someone who's _single_. What about that nice Hojo boy you were seeing, and what about Bankotsu? He wasn't that ugly, and he was single, and he likes you. And Hojo's in love with you."

This caused Kagome to shrug her shoulders again, this time, rolling her eyes. "I know exactly what I'm doing. I don't need relationships or love or marriage or commitment. Just let me find myself."

"You've been sleeping around ever since sophomore year, Kagome. You've had plenty of time to 'find yourself.' You haven't, and it's been four years." Sango said in a motherly fashion, her hands on her hips.

"Patience, Sango," Kagome spoke, a calm, amusing smile making her full, pink lips. She smeared a bit more of the sticky, glossy substance onto her lips before she turned to look at Sango again, her smile wider, hands on her hips. And there she was again. It was that damned confidence she had, that damned sureness she had in herself, and sometime, Sango envied that confidence seemed to come so easy for her friend. "Let's rock this shit."

**XXXXXXXXXX**

She smiled as she looked down at her Italian food. She took her fork and carefully twirled it so that the spaghetti noodles twisted around it. She brought the food up to her mouth and closed her eyes in contempt, enjoying the taste of it, nearly moaning. Finally, she opened her eyes, that smile still on her pretty lips, then reached for the glass of wine, letting the liquid easily slide down her throat.

Her eyes snapped over to whoever was growling, and she let out a growl of her own when she saw Inuyasha watching her, his eyes narrowed. She tipped her head back, allowing her to taste more of the wine. "Um," he started with a roll of his eyes, "Don't you think that's enough? Don't want to end up getting drunk and screwing someone else, right?"

She glared at him, slamming her glass of wine down reluctantly. "Like you're one to talk."

Sango looked over to Miroku and let out a nervous laugh, running a hand through her long, soft, dark brown hair before giving Inuyasha a smile that was full of feigned sweetness. Her eyes looked worried though as she cleared her throat before opening her mouth to start a conversation with him. "So, Inuyasha, how are things between you and Kikyo? I'm sure that she's still gorgeous as ever, right?"

Kagome scoffed and rolled her eyes at the conversation before pouring more wine into her glass. Before Inuyasha opened his mouth to speak, he shot her a distasteful look, growling in annoyance at her mere presence. Kagome took a sip of her wine, watching him all the while. She sat the glass down carefully, a smirk on her lips as she watched him. He looked back at Sango, running a hand through his long, silver mane, swallowing his agitation.

"We're fine…I guess. We just needed a but of space from each other, I think. I'll be home soon…maybe," Inuyasha spoke to her, trying to smile but it didn't really meet his eyes.

However, the smile that was on Kagome's lips definitely met her eyes. "Thank the gods, right, Sango?"

Inuyasha growled. "Says the alcoholic, _right_?"

Kagome's eyes brown eyes snapped to his, and he felt surprised when she frowned, when he felt her undoubted confidence waver. "I am _not_ an alcoholic," Kagome declared, her voice was sure and confident, and he was just joking and knew that she _wasn't_ an alcoholic, and she knew that well too, and that wasn't what she seemed upset about. It was every time she accidentally looked in his eyes, it seemed as though she had lost a battle she had been raging in with herself, and he didn't get it. So she looked away and cleared her throat awkwardly, and he looked away too.

Miroku cleared his throat awkwardly and Sango did too, and Inuyasha looked at Kagome who looked surprisingly innocent, her hands folded into her lap and her eyes concentrating on them, concentrating on anything besides him.

Awkwardness and tension were the only words that came to mind.

"You're almost done, Kagome?" Miroku asked, interrupting the way-too-uncomfortable silence that had now surrounded them.

She was already feeling drunk, but not to the point where her legs were steady, and she could still function well. It being her fourth glass of wine and all, but it didn't matter to her as she nodded her head and brought the cup to her mouth again, downing all of the liquid, wincing as she did so. "Finished," she murmured, then giggled. She heard Sango sigh, and she watched her as she mouthed a 'sorry' to Inuyasha.

She tried to stand, but her legs were a bit unsteady, and she giggled again, saying that she needed to go to the bathroom. Inuyasha gave a roll of his eyes and Sango told her that they'd wait, so Kagome wobbled her way into the restroom.

She swallowed back the sick feeling that was rising in the pit of her stomach. She used the bathroom and washed her hands, her legs still a bit unsteady, but not as unsteady as they usually were when she drunk more. She arrived back out to find that Sango, Miroku, and Inuyasha were still waiting on her, Sango with a nervous smile on her face and Inuyasha looking even more agitated, if possible.

"What's going on?" Kagome asked, a wide smile on her face.

Sango spoke up, a smile on her face. "Since Inuyasha lives closer to you, he's volunteering to take you home. Plus, me and Miroku…we're going to be a bit…busy when we get home."

In response to what Sango said, Kagome giggled, a sly smile on her lips. "Just remember what I said, Sango," she began telling her, nearly tripping over her own two feet as she backed up towards the exiting door of the restraunt. She let out a loud giggle once more, and Inuyasha looked at her, rolling his eyes. "Use protection. I don't want to be a godmother anytime soon." She finished out, laughing lightly. Sango felt her face redden before she could stop it, and she narrowed her eyes.

With a frown on her face, Sango replied, "This is _exactly _why I try to keep you away from alcohol," Sango sighed, pulling the just-as-embarrassed-Miroku close to her. "Listen, Inuyasha, forgive me for this. Just…just try to take care of her as best as you can, alright? I would handle this if I had the time, but I really don't. Kagome's childish and makes a lot of mistakes, I know, but try your best with her, alright? Just take her home, give her a glass of water, tell her to go to bed."

Inuyasha growled, running a hand through his silky mane. His eyes were hard on Sango's, and his nostrils were flaring from all of the anger he felt bubbling inside of him. He was ready to explode. "Why do I suddenly feel like I have no say in anything that has to do with Kagome?" he spat out, then focused his gaze on Miroku who stiffened under it. "You _know_ we can't stand each other. I haven't talked to her at all since high school," he growled again, louder. "Dammit all, I don't even know what to _do _with her."

Sango let out another sigh, sounding completely tired and annoyed with the angry hanyou. "I already told you. Just stay with her until she dozes off. Trust me, I didn't want to ask you, but I'm _seriously_ tired. I don't trust Kagome by herself with alcohol. Just this once, Inuyasha, please. I'll never ask again. But she's my best friend."

"No," he folded his arms over his chest defiantly, still looking at her straight into her brown eyes.

Sango shook her head at him, disappointed. Miroku did too before he opened his mouth to speak, "You used to know her, too. You use to talk to her. She's our friend. She's your friend, too. Stop being a dick to her."

Inuyasha growled, his ears twitching. "I ain't shit to that bitch, and she definitely ain't anything to me."

Kagome hadn't heard him. She had staggered off somewhere. Inuyasha looked at her to find her talking to some man that was about her age, a flirty smile on her lips, batting her eyelashes up at the man. He scoffed and rolled his eyes, turning away.

"I'm asking you, just this _once_. Maybe she means nothing to you, but I love her to death. She means something to me, and she means something to Miroku, and you mean something to us. Just for tonight, and you won't have to be bothered with her anymore."

Inuyasha ran another hand through his hair before looking over to Kagome once more, an annoyed expression taking over his face as he watched her flirt with a few more men, and then he knew that Kagome wouldn't be able to handle on her own, and he then knew that Kagome would go home and most likely get into more alcohol. He closed his eyes and shook his head to himself, wondering how in the hell she had changed so drastically.

He looked back at Sango and growled before hesitantly nodding his head. "Just this once."

**XXXXXXXXXX**

He growled in annoyance as he helped her to her apartment. He looked at her and shook his head disdainfully, cursing all the while as he quickly reached out to stop her from her possible fall. She looked up at him and giggled, her legs still extremely unsteady. Inuyasha let out a sigh as she continued to laugh, the smell of the wine laced with her scent. He wrapped his arm around her waist tightly, nearly jerking her up. She continued to laugh, and he suddenly wanted to just drop her and leave her there to fend for herself, but he couldn't, especially since the damned bitch was best friends with Sango.

It seemed as if the alcohol was only making her drunker with every passing second, her legs wobbly and unsteady and he tried to hold her up, but let out a growl when she wouldn't comply with him. He was almost certain that she was doing this on purpose. A smirk was plastered on her pretty lips, and she winked up at him.

"Y-your haaaaaands, Inu-Inu-Yashaaaaaa," she sang out, giggling all the while. He rolled his eyes, knowing that he was trying his best not to touch the bitch. He'd only gripped her arm tightly to keep her moving, jerk her up. "Watch where you…where you…put them!" Kagome finished with another childish giggle, covering her mouth with her hand as she looked up at him in amusement. He looked down at her and groaned, wondering exactly how he was supposed to deal with her.

"Fuck this shit," he roared out, causing Kagome to immediately stop speaking and look up at him with puppy-like eyes. He cursed when he saw her eyes water, but before the first tear could fall, he swiped her up in his arms, swinging her over his shoulder. This caused her to giggle and kick around, telling him to stop, but he told her to shut up and stop kicking before he fell, _assuring_ her that she'd go down with him if she caused him to fall with her in his arms.

He sighed in relief when he found her apartment door, and he put Kagome down so she could look around in her purse for her keys, and after a few seconds, she'd found them, grasping the key clumsily in her small hands. She giggled as she fumbled with the keys. Finally, he'd had enough and he pushed her out of the way slightly, growling as he snatched the keys away from her.

"Heeeeeeeyyyy," Kagome called out, a pout on her pretty lips. "It's…it's _m-myyyy_ apartment."

"You're fucking drunk, Kagome."

"Am _noooooooot_!" she hiccupped, and then she covered her mouth and giggled, hiccupping and giggling more. He told her to shut up harshly before twisting the key in the lock, pushing the door open. He swiftly grabbed her arm and dragged her inside of the tiny space, sitting her down on the worn out couch that was placed in the so-called, way too confined living area. Luckily for him, she didn't protest much, so he proceeded to make his way over to the sink, grabbing a cup and filling it to the top with water, and grabbing a couple of pills out of the drawer that he remembered them being in.

She looked wide awake, her pretty brown eyes looking at him in interest. He grimly handed her the glass of water, taking her hands in his so he could drop the pills into her hands.

When his hands touched hers, she'd felt like she used to. She felt that feeling that she'd went through hell to avoid for years. But now, she didn't care because of the mild spell of alcohol had put on her. So instead of trying to push away the feelings that bubbled inside of her stomach, she embraced them with a warm smile that showed in her eyes too. You could tell she felt _something_, something truer than she'd ever felt with the way she was looking up at him.

He felt surprised when she didn't let go of his hand, and instead of that damned smirk that he hated to see on her lips, there was a real smile that had taken place of that smirk, and his sunlit eyes widened as her mouth neared his, and he felt frozen in spot because he didn't know what she was doing, and all he knew was that the alcohol was working magic on her. Of course, he wanted to move away so badly, tell her to get away from him and leave, but he felt so caught up, so surprised, and it was like she had put some kind of spell on him to keep him in his spot.

Her lips caught his, and he didn't respond, but Kagome continued on with her actions, oblivious to the fact that he wasn't moving against her. The pills that were in her hand had fell to the floor, long forgotten. The glass of water sat on the coffee table, also forgotten about.

His lips began to move against hers, although it was against his will. She tasted sweet, along with the taste of wine…and cherry chapstick. The taste of it was easy to recognize as she pressed her lips against his harder. Before he could stop himself, his hands were on her hips, and he pushed her back against the couch, climbing on top of her, his eyes meeting hers for a split second before she giggled and wrapped her slender arms around his neck and pushed him down so she could kiss him again.

Maybe he didn't like her because she'd changed, or maybe just because of the fact that she'd slept with him and not felt an ounce of guilt about it, but right now, he wasn't exactly sure why he chose to ignore all of those things. He knew that she was drunk, and maybe if she was sober, it'd be bothering her.

When he felt her tongue against his, not at all tentative, his expression turned pained, and he pushed her away unceremoniously, not bothering to look at her as he pulled himself far away and ran a hand through his hair, an annoyed sigh slipping past his lips that still felt warm from hers.

He could hear her heart beating rapidly beneath her breast, and he finally looked at her, confused. He saw that she looked at him the same way, her eyes wide. She wasn't smiling, no, she looked completely serious and somehow hurt. He looked away again, trying to process what had just happened. She was _drunk_, and he didn't know if him and Kikyo were still together. All he knew was that his heart was supposed to belong to her, his intended mate, The girl who he wanted to live his life with. He wouldn't want to have it any other way, but Kagome was making it all difficult, all so confusing. He couldn't help wondering what Kikyo would say if she ever happened to find out about them sleeping together.

"W-what's wrong?" she stuttered helplessly.

Inuyasha let out a groan, running another hand through his hair, desperately wanting to slam his hand into something with such a force that he'd never need to feel angry again. He wanted to pull and tug at his hair a million times and then some more. Everything was suddenly _so_ fucking frustrating, from that damned innocent look on her face, from the way her heart sped whenever she looked him in the _eyes_ him, from the way that she made him want her more than ever, drunk and all. There was something unique about her face, being as gorgeous as it was, and her body, being as exotic and sexy as it was. He wondered what had happened to the old Kagome, the Kagome who was easier to deal with, the Kagome that he had no attraction for.

She scooted herself closer to him, that sneaky smirk on her lips again. "Why'd you stop?" she asked seductively, the alcohol definitely still in her system. Once again, he froze, and she gave another devilish smirk, her warm breath on his sensitive puppy ear, her hands on his stiffened shoulders. "I was supposed to go see the wolf tonight, but I find you so much more interesting, _Inuyasha_." The way she'd said his name made him groan again, and her lips found his again, and he froze, one thought going through his head.

_She was fucking Kouga_…?

He snapped out of whatever spell she had punished him with, and he pushed her away softly again, taking a deep breath. He closed his eyes for a second before opening them, only to see Kagome looking at him, her head tilted to the side in confusion. "_Inuyasha_? You're _weird_."

Laughter erupted in his chest, and soon tears were clouding his eyes as he continued to laugh in her confused face. "_Kouga_, Kouga the wimp!" he said between laughs. "You're fucking _him_? You've got to be desperate if you are, Kagome."

Inuyasha had definitely remembered Kouga, the boy who'd always try his best to get Kagome's attention back in high school while he was supposedly supposed to end up marrying Ayame. They'd had an arranged marriage, yet Kouga still tried to win Kagome's heart.

Kagome pouted, crossing her arms over her chest as he continued to laugh in her face. "I'm _not_ desperate," she whined like a child. He laughed harder. Denial. It looked good on Kagome. "Kouga-san is…_nice_."

Inuyasha shoved his face into hers, still amused. "Really? What else is so good about him?"

Kagome smirked, "He's pretty good in bed."

Inuyasha laughed again, shaking his head, deciding that he loved the drunk Kagome. She was fun to mess around with when she was like this. "Is he the best?"

Kagome looked thoughtful for a second before looking at him and smirking, shaking her head. "Actually…Bankotsu is much better."

"Who else have you slept with?" he asked her, a sinister smile on his lips, sure that the alcohol would make her spill all of her secrets. He laughed, and Kagome's smile widened.

"I really can't remember. But that's the best thing about it, living on the wild side and getting laid whenever I feel like it. It's nice to know that I'm not committed to anything," she said, stupidly. That sneaky smirk was still on her face again. She jumped when she heard her phone vibrate, and he watched her as she pulled it out of her pocket. She smiled at the text before her face went neutral again, typing whoever it was back.

"Who was that?" Inuyasha asked, discreetly trying to take a peek at her phone, but she'd stuck it in her pocket before he could.

"It was Kouga," she said, shaking her head and smiling all the while. "He wants me to come and see him. Since you aren't going to be any use for me tonight, I'm going to go and see him…" she slurred, trying to stand, but her legs were still incredibly unsteady.

He growled and grabbed her arm, and she instantly tried to jerk and pull away from him, but he sneered when he finally succeeded into getting her to sit back down.

"You're a bit intoxicated, dear Kagome," he sneered. "And there's no way that I am going to be abused by Sango any time soon. She told me to watch after you. You're not going anywhere, wench," he growled, towering over her, "Tonight, your drunk ass is under _my_ supervision, and you go nowhere unless I say you can, bitch." He crossed his arms, a proud smirk on his lips.

"Only because Sango and Miroku are off humping each other right about now," Kagome crossed her arms, pouting. "You won't sleep with me, and you won't let me go see Kouga. How exactly am I supposed to get _my_ piece of ass tonight?"

Inuyasha felt himself chuckle, imagining her and wimpy wolf together. It disgusted him, really, but it was actually quite amusing. "You can wait until tomorrow. To sleep with Kouga, I mean."

"So, I can't just have sex with you?" Kagome asked rather incredulously. Inuyasha shook his head, smirking in amusement. She gasped. "What are you, prude?"

He choked on nothing, but still, he choked.

He glared at her, his golden pools accusing. "What's my sex life to _you_ anyway, huh, bitch?"

She gave a sloppy smile, "I don't know. You're…_interesting_," she reached to grab the pills, sliding them down her throat, water following along. He couldn't help staring at her, and his cheeks reddened when her gaze flicked over to him. "Just admit it, _Inuyasha_. You _do_ want me," she told him. She licked her lips as her gaze roamed over his body, and finally, her hungry, drunk eyes stopped on his crotch. Before he knew it, she was straddling him, her thighs pressing against his, heat radiating off of her body. "I want _you_."

He caught a whiff of her arousal as it drafted up to his nose, and he closed his eyes and groaned at the feel of her body being pressed against his, at the sweet smell of her, spiked by her arousal. He was trying to push her away, but she pressed against his body harder, wrapping her arms around his neck. She smiled at him suddenly, before her sweet voice rose to his ears. "I want you, Inuyasha. We don't necessarily have to be friends. I want to," she paused and moaned, rubbing against him a bit more. "_Please_."

Her fucking sneaky hand had reached up, trying to touch his ears. He snarled and pulled away, a fang glistening. Kagome gasped. "Don't touch my fucking ears, bitch, no one touches my ears," he panted out. He knew it was all wrong, the way he wanted her, the way she seemed to be so irresistible. But still, she had him aroused and angry and he wanted his way with her for some reason. "What about Kouga?"

She moving against him, their arousal growing more with each passing second. "I don't care," she panted. He growled and pushed her away, feeling like he'd explode if he didn't take her soon. He pushed her back against the couch, climbing over top of her.

He couldn't stop himself from reaching down to run a hot tongue along her slender, creamy neck. He watched her as she moaned and writhed underneath him, begging for him. He felt guilt in the pit of his stomach, but he ignored the feeling well.

"You're…you're such a whore," he panted, nearly ripping her shirt off. His cold hands ran along her smooth skin. The window was opened, and the summer breeze seemed to make the room even hotter. The sun was just beginning to set, and the only sounds that could be heard outside was the chirping of birds, and the sound of cars driving below them. He moaned when she rubbed him firmly through his jeans before unbuckling them, excitement filling her eyes up. "You're giving your body to me," he moaned again when she rubbed him once more. He kicked his jeans off, leaning down to softly suck on her neck. "Knowing damn well that…I, ah, I belong to Kikyo, not you."

He shred her panties, knowing that she wouldn't really care since she was way too aroused and drunk. "And…do you want to know the worst part about it?" he asked, smirking down at her face when his talented fingers slowly trailed down her skin until they reached her wet, hot core. He couldn't stop himself from moaning when he slipped a slow, steady finger inside of her, groaned at how tight she was.

He would be able to remember it this time, but she wouldn't. And by now, he was far too gone to see the bad part of all this madness. All blood rushed from his brain down to his dick, and it made it hard to concentrate on all of the bad things that having sex with her for the second time would bring on. He was too concentrated on her pretty face, the way her pretty lips parted to moan for him, moan his name since this time she remembered it.

"You're her fucking baby cousin," he moaned into her ear as he slid another finger inside of her, causing her to nearly scream out his name. But before she could, his mouth enclosed around hers. "J-Just know," he said shakily, pulling his finger out of her heat, causing her to cry out in protest. He didn't have to push her legs apart for him, they were already were open, and she was patiently. "Just know…that you mean nothing to me. _This_ means nothing, whore." He told her, positioning himself at her wet, hot entrance.

"If I'm a whore, I'm your whore tonight," she panted out. "Fuck me." She said quietly, looking up at him with those chestnut eyes glistening with lust and excitement. He looked down at her, let out a chuckle.

He slammed himself into her hard, causing her to cry out from pleasure, and causing him to cry out from the feeling of her tight walls enclosing around his throbbing cock. He felt guilty again, but once again, he pushed it away, wondering why he should feel guilty if he didn't know if they were even together anymore.

_But still, she's her baby cousin._

He pushed the thoughts away, knowing that she was _his _for just a moment.

_This is wrong. This is all __**wrong**__._

He groaned and pushed that thought away, too, pounding inside of her. In and out, in and out, over and over again, his groans and her loud cries filling the place up, sweat sticking to their active bodies. He looked down, groaning at how his cock slipped out of her tight heat, only to disappear into it again. He was holding her legs up to both sides of him, and he gripped them tighter, his teeth grinding together.

"Are you…are you mad or something?" she panted out, looking up into his hard, angry, lusty eyes. He gave her no answer, only increased his speed, closing his eyes and blocking out the thoughts, moving in and out of Kagome faster so maybe the pounding in his ears would block out that goddamned annoying voice in his head.

_You are __**disgusting**__ for doing this._

He simply growled and allowed himself to slow down a bit.

Kagome groaned in protest. "Inuyasha," she panted out. "_Don't_ slow. Just move. Just…just take it out on me. It's alright," She said, her hips bucking up to meet his cock as he slammed into her. She let out a cry. "Ah, right there. Just…just like that!"

He didn't care if she was only doing it for her benefit, only trying to bring more pleasure upon herself, and he didn't care if it _was _for his benefit. All he knew was that he loved Kikyo and she'd rejected him and he was hurt and wasn't sure what to do, so he obeyed, taking all his anger out on her as he thrust himself in and out of her at a fast pace.

"Ka-Ka-Kagome," he choked out her name, lost in the pleasure. His head was tossed back, and the damned cheap couch squeaked with every thrust inside of her. Her eyes were closed tightly, and she was calling out his name, screaming out words of yes, now, and right there. "Such a…such a fucking slut!" he sneered, his eyes rolling to the back of his head.

He was making her reach nirvana, and his crude words were nothing but a blur to her as he moved in and out of her, always being sure to hit that special spot. He hit it one last time, and before she knew it, she was coming, screaming his name out in pleasure. He didn't bother to muffle her cries with his mouth this time. It took a few more thrusts before he came inside of her, moaning her name.

Perspiration covered both extremely tired bodies, and he collapsed on top of her, not bothering to pull himself out of her. It took them a while to catch their breath, Inuyasha's mind still fuzzy from the sex, and Kagome's had still fuzzy from the alcohol _and _the sex.

"Slut," he murmured against her neck.

"Asshole," she back, glaring at him.

"Best sex you ever had, right?" he asked, cockily. Guilt was still clouding his feelings, but he tried not to show it in his voice. He wanted so badly to get the woman out of his head, though.

"I've had better." She told him, although she wasn't sure if it was the truth.

"Fuck you," he snapped.

"Give it a rest, dog-boy, we just did," she giggled out, causing Inuyasha to growl.

"Whatever," he sighed, pulling himself out of her, causing her to cry out. He pulled away from her and reached down to pull up his boxers and his pants, pulling his shirt back over his head. "I did exactly what Sango wanted. I gave you some pills with water to go along, kept you company and made sure you didn't get into anymore alcohol you have around here. I didn't kill you-" he growled when she interrupted him.

"But you fucked me," she told him, seriously.

He growled louder, standing up. "Your acting like it was rape. _You're _the one that came onto _me_. By the way, I don't want _anyone _to find out about this. Don't run your mouth to Sango. She'll only think of you as a whore too."

She growled although him calling her a whore didn't hurt as much, where as she'd been called much worse before. "You don't want anyone knowing because of your precious Kikyo, right?" she sounded like she had sobered up a bit, but still, she sounded extremely vicious. "I'm not gonna tell _anyone_. As long as you shut your mouth and don't go telling Miroku anything."

He growled, glaring at her. "Deal. I'm going home to take a shower, you should too, and you should go to bed. Remember, Sango left me specific instructions to tell you that you're not going _anywhere_ tonight, that includes going to go see the wolf."

She stood up with a yawn, and Inuyasha wanted to look away this time, so he did. Although, it was nice to see the curves and dips in her body, the perkiness of her full, ample breasts, the slenderness of her legs, and width of her hips. Kagome had blossomed into so much more, something so much better than what she used to be. Maybe not in personality, but definitely in her looks, her body. He was sure she could be a model if she wanted to, and he wondered why she hadn't tried that instead of working in the rundown café.

"I've already got my lay for tonight," she told him, a tired smile on her face. She smelled like a mixture of him and her now, and he knew that the alcohol was wearing off just a bit. "That's exactly what I plan on doing, too, taking a shower, going to bed. Too tired to go anywhere," she looked at him and shook her head. "What is it? This makes the second time we've had sex, and still, you're acting so scared to see me naked. It's not a big deal, you know."

And with that, she walked off, and he stood there for a while, contemplating all that happened, and then the guilt him again.

_You slept with her __**again**__._

He shook his head, trying to shake the voice away.

_Kikyo loves you still. How will she feel when she finds out about this?_

He growled, having enough of the voices in his head that continued to taunt him.

He left, slamming the apartment door behind him. Kikyo wouldn't find out. And sleeping with Kagome would never happen again, he was sure of both things.

He was home and the voices stopped. He took a shower and laid down, ignoring the texts that Miroku and Sango had been sending him, wondering where he was. He laid his head against the pillow, and after much tossing and turning, he finally fell into a dreamless sleep.

**A/N: It will get better, I promise. I can't really write anything meaningful at this point of the story, but keep with me, kay? Also, thanks to everyone who reviewed, alerted, or added this story to their favorites. More reviews, please? They're what keeps a girl going! Don't forget to! Thanks, see you guys soon(:**


	4. Broken

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or the characters I used for this story in any way. I own nothing but my ideas.**

She sighed and looked up at the clock for the fifth time in a one minute period, only to let out another sigh and shake her head at the device. Her pretty brown eyes looked out the window of the small café. It was a boring, hot summer day, and it was taking forever for 3:00pm to get here. The café was empty, so with another shake of her head, she focused her eyes on the dirty floor again and gripped the broom that was in her hand tightly so she could begin her sweeping again. She looked up at the clock again, a tinge of hope in her eyes. The ticking consisted and the hands on the clock clearly read 2:54pm. She growled and continued to sweep the floor abrasively as if she was taking all of the anger she felt out on it.

She paused for a second and rubbed at her eyes, her back arching as she stretched and yawned. She looked to the sunlit window again and her eyes trained to focus on the figure that moved closer towards the door. She let groaned and immediately made herself look approachable for whoever it was by brushing a strand of her messy, wavy, ebony hair back, a ready smile on her face for whoever the unexpected customer was.

However, when she saw a pair of long legs, the skinny jeans and high heels making the legs look even longer, she smirked, knowing that it _had _to be her best friend who always looked gorgeous no matter what she was wearing or what the situation was. Her smirk widened when the figure finally entered the shop, the bell ringing because of the door that was flung open.

Sango carried her purse close to her, a smile on her face. She slowly brought her sunglasses down to the tip of her nose before taking them off completely. She brushed the strand of dark brown hair back into her elegant bun, leaning closer to Kagome. "Excuse me for asking, but what exactly happened last night?" Sango asked, her eyebrows raised in curiosity as she looked at her friend.

Kagome sighed. "Nothing interesting, really," Kagome lied, her eyes going down cast to the floor, the smirk wiped from her face at the unexpected question. She continued to sweep the floor harshly, ignoring Sango.

"You're flushing, doll," Sango said truthfully, a sneaky smile on her lips.

Kagome let out a growl, brushing her thick, wavy hair back into the messy bun she had put it in to avoid sweating anymore. She licked her lips and her grip on the broom tightened in slight annoyance. "Well, it's really hot, in case you haven't noticed."

Sango snorted. "Sure," she said while grabbing the little wooden chair and pulling it out from the dirty table so she could take a seat. "You're going to be out of here soon, huh?" she asked quietly, discreetly looking up at the ticking clock, only to see the hands on 2:59pm. She looked up at Kagome who rolled her eyes and continued sweeping the floor. "Your shift is almost over."

Maybe she'd rather stay in the café, trying to get the permanently dirty floors clean with her useless sweeping. What was there to come home to? Nothing but text messages from Kouga and a couple more men that she was ashamed to mention, asking her when they were going to meet again. Bankotsu's calls were sweet, but he was persuasive. And Hojo was of course sweet, but annoying with all of the gifts containing flowers, herbs, and things that were supposedly to be good for her. It was all nice, but she wasn't proud of anything.

"Yay," she replied dully, putting the broom back and quickly wiping off the tables before grabbing her stuff, getting ready to head out the door. Sango followed close behind her.

"You need a ride?" Sango asked, a friendly smile on her face when she realized that Kagome's raggedy car was nowhere to be found.

"Nope," she replied. "It's not like my apartment's far from here. It's nice out, I didn't want to drive."

"Well, are you doing anything besides Kouga when you get home?"

Kagome's head snapped towards her laughing friend, and the cold glare she gave instantly made the laughing shut up. "Sure," Kagome spat. "Gosh, I don't even know why I even bothered to share my sex life with you."

Sango snorted. "At least you have one."

Even though Kagome was feeling annoyed for no particular reason, she broke into a smile at Sango's words. "You're telling me that Sango Nishimura, married to the infamous Miroku Nishimura, doesn't have an _amazing _sex life? You can't lie to my face, baka. Miroku is the biggest hentai in all of Japan."

In response to her statement, Sango's face turned red as a tomato and she scoffed, crossing her arms. "Whatever," she replied weakly. "Me and Roku were wondering if you'd like to go out to the mall today with us," Sango asked, a pout on her face and her hands crossed together, her big hazel eyes pleading. "Please?"

Kagome laughed weekly, shaking her head slightly. "I have other shit to do than go shopping. I don't have a husband that spoils me like you do, and I don't even have my check yet."

Sang sighed, leaning against the battered brick wall of the small café, pulling her sunglasses over her pretty hazel eyes and crossing her arms as she looked at Kagome. "Get a boyfriend then, Kags, find someone to take care of you, because I'll tell you the truth, your definitely not doing a good job at taking care of yourself," she said bluntly, eyeing her carefully. She was sure her words had some kind of effect as she watched Kagome's face redden, her eyebrows furrow forward slightly. But then again, this was Kagome, and she was _stubborn_.

But she was her best friend, and she loved her to pieces.

Kagome swallowed when Sango's words registered into her mind, and she wanted to cross her fingers and pray that her face didn't show anything. She ignored Sango as she clutched her bag tighter against her, starting on her feet. Yeah, she loved her friend, it was true. But she'd never been the kind to handle the truth all that well, and she'd never been the strong kind. True, she didn't cry in front of Sango, her mother, or anyone else, because maybe she didn't believe in pity. She trusted people, but she didn't show weakness in front of them, sure that they would take advantage of her. She cried on her own. She didn't need people holding her, their clumsy fingers stroking and patting her hair down, assuring her that she would be alright. She handled herself. Who did she need? No one.

She bit her lip lightly, looking over to Sango who was obviously displeased. "I'm not coming," she started. "Maybe I'll call Kouga, hang out with him today."

"Why?" Sango asked discreetly, sure not to sound as if she was trying to pry. But she _was_.

Kagome's head hurt and she desperately wanted out of this sun. The fabric of extremely short, denim shorts clung to her skin, and a few beads of sweat had gathered at her forehead. She pushed back some of the locks of her hair that had slipped from the loose hold, tucking them back into the bun aggressively. This heat was _really_ getting on her nerves.

She sighed, looking over to Sango as she took the back of her hand, wiping it against her forehead. "It's nice today, but I'm _sure_ that this is what hell feels like. I'm broke, too, Sango. And don't you dare say I can borrow a couple of bucks from you, because I have everything I need back at the apartment. Like I said, I don't really need material things. I've got food, and that's all I need."

Sango simply shook her head. "I'm here for you, Kagome. You refuse to _understand_ that, though," Kagome's averted Sango's gaze since it was making her feel hopeless. "Isn't Kouga busy with Ayame anyway?"

Kagome gulped down the feelings in the pit of her stomach that threatened to make her break. "You've got things wrong, Sango," Kagome said, trying to make her tone sound playful. "You do know that Ayame's desperate, don't you? And that Kouga's rejected her millions of times before? That bullshit you said about them marrying will never happen, Sango."

_Maybe he could be happy, maybe if you weren't there, walking in and out of his life. Maybe he'd be happy with Ayame. You especially can't make anyone happy._

She'd learned well that that voice should be ignored at almost all times.

"You're playing with fire, and I'm scared for you," was all Sango said as she began to step into her car, looking back at Kagome for _some_ kind of response.

She'd also learned well to swallow that sadness she felt. It was stupid. Sadness because of what happened all those years ago, sadness because things had never been the same for her. She wanted it gone.

She swallowed it all down. But then, it rose up again like pieces from a sunken ship, and she was broken again. She refused to admit it. She hadn't told Sango, hadn't told anyone. Like she'd said before, she needed no one.

Looking at her, she gave a shrug of her shoulders and turned on her heel, walking down the busy street. It was almost like she could feel her friend's disappointment, and she just didn't know that she was disappointed in herself, too. Ha, she found it funny.

Sango probably thought that shrug of her shoulders meant that she didn't care, that she was simply reckless. Maybe she was, but one thing was that she would always care. That's what happened when you loved someone.

She couldn't deny the past or that she did care. Maybe cared more than anyone. But what was the point? She'd learned to ignore it all. Maybe that's why she was so disliked, maybe because people liked to think that she thought of herself as invincible. But Kagome knew well that she was nowhere near. She'd never _ever_ be bullet proof, and everything that happened still made her heart pound with unbelievable, undeniable pain.

This was her weakness.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"I've been…thinking about you, Higurashi," he said seductively, stepping closer to her body which lay awaiting for him. Always waiting…always so…allowing. Because she didn't know any better.

His kisses were soft and for a second, she thought that maybe he really did care or love her as much as he claimed to. She wanted to recoil, and she kicked that thought out of her brain. He didn't love her, and none of the other boys did, either. And one thing for sure was that she'd never love them.

She really liked the way his lips moved against hers, but it didn't make her feel tingles are sudden jolts of electricity. It never did, and sometimes she wondered why she even let him do this, knowing that it was never going to make her feel better or forget _his _face. It never helped her to forget. Maybe only for a minute or two as she lost herself in the pleasure of the wolf demon's actions, but when he slowly, carefully, gently brought her down from her high, his face was there again, and she could only wish that it'd been him that made her body arch, made her voice cry out like that. She was disgusting.

Sometimes the possibilities scared her. Mainly, the possibility that she'd never love anyone else for the rest of her life, and the possibility that maybe sex could bring her nothing but pleasure. It was supposed to be more than that, right? It was supposed to be amazing. It was supposed to be locking of the eyes, you were supposed to enjoy the feeling of becoming one. Yeah, she enjoyed the feeling of becoming one, but maybe she'd enjoy it a thousand times better if it had been by the man that she'd found herself in love with.

It amazed her, how she'd managed to stay in love with only one person this whole time, these torturous six years. It amazed her how she'd managed to maintain herself. He was on the other side of the earth for three years, away from her when she was sure she was in love. Weren't girls supposed to go crazy when the one that they found themselves so deeply in love with went away for so long? She wondered what in the hell was wrong with her. But still, she'd prayed to the gods for him. She had prayed that his life was good, that one day he'd marry that damned beautiful cousin of hers. Love wall all about unselfishness, right? She'd tried, she really had. It only hurt more.

She didn't understand a lot of things. She didn't understand why she was doing _this_, why she had did it so many other times before if it was with someone she didn't love. It was fear, she guessed. Maybe by doing this, she thought she could find herself in love and it'd treat her better, treat her good this time. Love never treats anyone good, and she was scared forever now, because she had figured that if she hadn't fallen in love again in this amount of time, that she'd be stuck loving _him_ for the rest of her life. She didn't understand how she could still love him. Back then, she'd remember leaving the room and she felt it in her heart that he was doing something with her bigger, prettier cousin _again_. One time, she'd walked in on them together, the image still fresh in her mind. It'd _burned _her. She didn't understand how she could still love him after that.

She was an idiot.

She was snapped back into reality when she felt his heated palms sliding against her baby soft skin. No shivers. However, he hovered above her, those cerulean eyes haunting her. So she closed her brown ones, allowing the real her to slip away so she wasn't the broken girl anymore. It was time to play the whore who pretended to enjoy this. Sex was nice, amazing even. But she knew it wasn't supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be everything and more.

She moaned and felt his manhood harden even more.

"Kouga," she breathed out, swinging her hips up to meet his, her eyes still closed. She never looked at him when he pushed in and out of her. _Never_. It would ruin whatever she had going. Not looking at him saved her a bit, at least. She didn't want to see his hungry gaze as he thrust himself in and out of her like it actually meant something. It meant nothing.

She heard him groan. He slipped her shirt over her head, and then he had her bra off, gently kneading her breasts. He dipped his head low, his hot tongue brushing against her nipple and causing her back to arch. She moaned. He loved to think that he owned her body, that he was the only man who could make those suggestive sound slip past her lips. He had no clue.

He slipped her denim shorts down slowly, watching the way her flat stomach flexed as her hips moved to get out of them. Her lacy underwear were next. She helped him take off his shirt, and he slid his jeans down, along with his boxers.

The window was opened halfway. The sun was setting now. The curtains swayed as a gust of wind blew across them. She focused her gaze on the burning, setting sun, and they reminded her of his eyes. She looked at it a few more minutes, ignoring the pang in her heart. She had to stop. She was acting like her old self who was absolutely fucking pitiful. So she closed her eyes, praying to the gods and thinking that they had to make her fly away. It was always like this. He'd always come just before the sun completely set, and they'd fuck to the sounds of the city. Finally, she opened her eyes since it was odd. His hands had been over her bare skin many times before, but each time, it'd seem like it was all so new to him, and he'd make it seem like she was something that he'd never be able to get enough of. More lies. Her pretty eyes were glued on his figure. He was handsome. But not _as _handsome. That was the thing. Nobody could ever have that other guy beat. She loved him and she didn't know why or how, and she was pitiful for that.

Sweat was falling into his eyes and his hair was damp with it. She didn't mind, though. She closed her eyes again when his attention focused on her. His lips met the exposed skin of her neck, making her sigh in pleasure. Kouga had always known what he was doing when it came to sex, and he always knew how to please her and he knew exactly what she liked.

He groaned when he slipped inside of her. It was nothing special. He wasn't halfway in, but he pulled back and rammed himself deep inside of her. Most of the time she never had to meet his eyes, because he always buried his head into her neck and the dampness of her soft, wavy hair. She moaned, her back arching. It truly did feel good. But like she said, she knew it could be so much better. But with Kouga? She could never love him and she couldn't understand that. He called her beautiful, he knew how to please her, and his words were sweet and true. Maybe it was because things weren't supposed to be that easy for her.

She wasn't oblivious to the fact that she'd had sex with Inuyasha twice. She had felt something, even though she'd been drunk. She wouldn't dare say she wanted to feel it again. It would be nice, but it was forbidden, and she shouldn't be thinking about it. So she closed her eyes and let Kouga do what he was good at.

Her breathing became erratic as his pace increased. His strokes were steady and quick, and soon she was moaning softly, and he was groaning. It didn't surprise her when he pressed his forehead against hers.

He breathed a silly question into her ear, "Are you gonna cum for me, Kagome?"

He never called her the 'b' word, and he never called her a whore like Inuyasha had. She was simply Kagome to him, and she liked him for that. He never made things difficult, never tried to talk her into a relationship. He couldn't anyway with Ayame by his side. But he'd assured her that he wasn't in love with Ayame, that he was in love with _her_. She always softly explained to him that they'd never be nothing more. But he didn't understand.

"Answer me." His speed increased and she was bucking up to meet his thrusts, her moaning becoming louder.

"I am," she nearly choked on her words. She'd said it loud, and that was all Kouga needed. She came before he did, but after a few more thrusts, he finally reached nirvana, letting out pant after pant.

He pulled himself out of her, rolling over. He laid there beside her stiffly since she never allowed cuddling.

"I guess you'd better leave," she said quietly after she finally caught her breath.

Kouga sat up, a small smile on his face. But she could tell, he was hurt that he was being pushed away as usual. He was always hurt. She cared, but she couldn't make herself love him. He always wanted _more_.

He pulled his clothes back on. "I had fun, Kagome," he smirked at her, running a tan hand through his jet black hair which had fell down from it's usual high-ponytail. She wondered what Ayame would think this time. "I'll see you again…preferably soon?"

She mustered up all of her strength and gave him a smile and a wink. "Of course, Kouga-kun. Goodbye."

He left and she looked over to read her alarm clock. The digital device read 11:00pm, and she was tired, so she cuddled her head into her pillow, ignoring the sweat that still clung to her bodies. She'd shower tomorrow and start out fresh and be okay again.

Before she dozed off, she wondered exactly where he was. She wondered if he was mad about what had happened last night. She prayed silently for him, because deep down, he deserved to be happy no matter all the pain that he had unintentionally put her through. She wanted to remember the way he felt against her, the feelings he gave her. She remembered only some of it. But what she remembered, she knew she'd never experienced anything like that. It was the alcohols fault that she couldn't remember, though, and maybe it was for the best.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

'_I'm sorry, alright? Could you at least text me back? I know what you said, but let me prove myself…' _He took a deep breath, looked at the message once more. He sighed and erased it. It didn't make him feel any better, and it didn't make the guilt go away. It pounded in his head, reminding him of the failure he was, and he suppressed a growl.

Then, he started again. This would be the twelfth attempt at sending her a decent text message. Maybe he erased them over and over because it was worthless. He wanted to see her, because the girl he loved, the girl he planned on spending the rest of his life meant everything to him. _Stupid arguments_, they ruined everything. Never would he ever scream back at her again. He should've held her close to him, kissed her and promised her that they'd be okay. It was all because of him and his big mouth, and that was the reason why he was sitting here, lonely and guilty as ever.

_She __**will**__ find out about what you and Kagome did soon. You deserve to feel all of this._

He growled.

It was absolutely true.

He started on another text message, but then he erased that one too. What kind of relationship was it if he wasn't going to tell her the truth? Tell her that he _had_ slept with her baby cousin, that he had done it while being sober. Maybe he shouldn't blame all of it on Kagome. He had some sense, and she didn't. He'd known exactly what he was doing, and for this, he wanted the pain that Kikyo brought upon him. He deserved every single fucking bit of it, didn't he?

Still, he couldn't sleep.

He threw his phone down beside of him. The large apartment was quiet, and the only thing that could be heard was the rustling of the wind against the curtains and the racing of cars that he heard below him.

And in that moment, he thought about Kagome…the wench.

Another pang of guilt hit him straight in his gut like a fucking kick in the stomach, and it made him sick and dizzy. So he rolled over and stared at the ceiling for a while before closing his eyes as if he could will the emotions away. He was never the type of person to really give two fucks about other people's feelings, but he wondered exactly how Kagome felt. But she shouldn't really feel guilt or anything. Wasn't she a whore now? Hadn't she changed now?

The thought of her whoring around made him sick to his stomach, and he desperately wondered what had happened to the innocent little girl he knew back then. The one who had been nothing with Kikyo by her side, the one who didn't even know how to flirt. Images flashed into his mind.

Kagome had always been pretty. It wasn't like she was a nerd or anything, but then again, that didn't mean she wasn't a nerd. Everybody labeled too quickly back then. She wore clothes that didn't show off her body, but she didn't have a set of big round glasses. She always had those big brown eyes that someone could drown in. He'd always found it creepy where as others found it adorable. Pimples weren't plastered all over her forehead and she didn't wear braces. Her teeth were perfect and straight and white and her ivory skin seemed inviting, smooth and not one blemish. But still, she was nothing when Kikyo was around, and maybe sometimes, he felt bad for her. Kikyo had just been prettier, better at everything else. She had to deal with that.

He hadn't ever liked her much, but then again, it wasn't like he hated her. She made him feel uneasy. Sure, she was pretty, and could've passed for Kikyo if her hair had not been so curly and wavy and if her features were a bit more sharpened. It was the way she looked at him back then. It was the way her big brown eyes stared after him and Kikyo as their lips pressed together. Her face would turn red and she'd look at them in something like disgust, and then turn away when his hands purposely explored her cousin's body. He'd never understood Kagome, she'd always been odd to him.

They talked. He teased. He made her face turn red in anger or embarrassment, most likely a combination of the two. He had never hated her. It was funny, though, sure. Talking to her so intimately, whispering dirty things into her innocent ears whenever Kikyo wasn't around, pressing his lips against her smooth neck just to get a rise out of her. She'd blush and scream at him and recoil as if he'd burned her. It amused him completely, he had never seen someone so pure, so innocent. She had resisted him, and no one had _ever_ resisted him.

Things were different now. Her ears weren't innocent, and her face didn't turn red as easily anymore. Although he had desperately tried to forget, he remembered the dips of her curves and the feeling of her against him, the feeling of her clenching around him as he pushed himself inside of her. It had been natural for her, not a big deal. They'd had sex twice. She was the one who started it, she was the one who kissed him like that, she was the one who wrapped those long, long legs around his waist, pushing herself closer to him as if he was safe to her.

It hadn't felt real. He used to _know _her. Used to think that she'd be the one who'd always keep her virginity. But she had lost it long before he had been inside of her, and it was hard to believe. What happened to _Kagome_?

He jumped when he heard the phone he had carelessly thrown to the side in one of his fits ring. His eyes widened. His breathing quickened. Anxiety coiled into his stomach, deep in the pit of it, and he felt sickeningly nervous. _Could it be her_?

He was a sick, pitiful fool. That's what love did to you, if that's what Kikyo even called it. What was he to her? A toy? …Six years, it stuck with him. A fucking toy for six years. The thought made him ache, but it made his heart ache the most. It wasn't the truth. All he could do was hope.

Taking a deep breath, he pressed the speak button. One chance…

"Hello?" he asked in his usual gruff voice, sure that he hadn't showed any insecurity. But he had, he definitely had.

"Inuyasha?" he immediately knew the sound of her voice. The pounding of his heart was all that could be heard, it deafened him. He willed himself to calm down. The feelings that he got in his stomach didn't make things any better. Anxiety tinged with anger, regret, remorse, and pain. The pain certainly made itself known. "Are you here?" the young woman on the other end asked in her trademark sweet voice, sounding concerned. He realized he hadn't been speaking, so he let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding in and cleared his throat.

His mouth was dry. But it was only a phone call, it was nothing to get so worked up about.

It was the possibility, though.

_Maybe she's missed me just as much as I've missed her._

He coughed. "Kikyo? I'm here…" he trailed off. This. Was. Unbelievable.

"You're here, and you're okay?" she asked with a hint of concern in her voice. She still _cared._

"I guess so," he said quietly, his muscles finally relaxing with the thought of her still caring about him. She couldn't have been over him. How long had it been? Almost, _nearly _a month? Not too long. He hoped that she'd never find out about him and her cousin. Guilt tore him up to pieces, fragments.

"Don't give me that, Inuyasha," she spoke indignantly. "You haven't called, you haven't texted. How are you? Gods, Inu, you could've did either of those things, but you didn't. I was worried!"

He didn't know where all of this anger was coming from. But her words angered him, too. He took a deep breath, calming himself. He loved her, and he didn't want things to be messed up anymore. He was tired. Tired of being here. He wanted to go home and feel her in his arms again. But would she _really _be in his arms? She was possessive, angry, and jealous recently, and he couldn't feel her in his arms, hold her the way he wanted to.

Things hadn't been 'okay' for a while now.

No, he didn't want to cuss her. He wanted to tell her that he loved her, missed her. But you know what? He was so fucked up that he couldn't do anything but raise his voice at her, and he wished that their relationship was a happy one again. What were they now, exactly? "There's no reason to worry. I ain't your concern no more." He honestly didn't mean for it to come out so…vicious.

"You _are _of my concern," she declared, her voice dropping low and becoming just as vicious as his. She still made him shiver. He heard her sigh, and then he heard her broken voice and it made him feel so horrible he could barely contain it. "You up and left, left me with a note. I was scared. There was absolutely _no _closure for us."

He cut her off before she could start on another sentence. Kikyo wasn't the type to babble on and on about her emotions. She hid them, she could fake it so well that none of the gods would ever be able to tell. She was sneaky, clumsy in her words whenever she wanted to be or needed to be. She had brains for sure. Was that why he loved her so? "Kikyo…" he didn't want to argue over the phone, didn't want to argue with her anymore. His eyelids weighed him down heavily. He felt so tired. "Is that why you're calling now? Is that what you're hoping for? Is that what you really want, closure?"

There was silence.

He wouldn't give up on her. Never, never would he ever.

She was precious.

"Kikyo?" he asked, his muscles tensing once more.

Kikyo never fucking cried. Never. But he heard her sniffle. And he heard her voice crack and he knew that it wouldn't be long before she broke. But she was worth everything.

He relaxed.

"You don't have to say much," he took a deep breath. "There ain't no such thing as closure between you and me, cause I love you and it's real, I swear it is. There's never closure if you love each other. Relationships might not last forever, but love does. Isn't that along the lines of some of that corny bullshit that you believe in?"

He knew that she knew that he didn't mean it in a bad way. But it didn't raise a laugh out of her.

Her voice cracked more when she spoke and it scared him a bit and he wondered if he'd really meant that much to her. "I…I can't do this anymore, Inuyasha. I'm sorry I called."

His heart dropped, but he didn't want to seem weak so he said nothing back that would make him seem whiny and possessive. If she wanted to leave for good, if that's what made her happy, then he'd let her. That's what love was about, huh?

"I miss you, Kikyo," he said simply, knowing she'd hang up anyway.

He heard her sigh deeply. "I've got to go, Inuyasha. I'm sorry about everything."

And that would be the last time he'd heard from her in a while.

Why did love have to be so hard? He didn't like feelings like this. It hurt. He dealt with physical pain much better. He laid his head down and closed his eyes, getting her out of his head.

For the first time, he didn't know what to do. But maybe he just had to stop caring for a while, stop letting her get to him. He was done.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**A/N: It's been a while. If you like it and want me to keep going, review, please. I really wanna hear your comments whether their telling me what I should do, what I should add, what I should get rid of. It's the only way I can continue. Please? Thanks, guys.**

**BTW, I will **_**not **_**give up on this piece no matter what the circumstances.**


	5. Wet

She was upset, to be completely honest. He was getting in her head again. The hot shower she'd taken hadn't helped, and now, she had this headache that wouldn't go away. Things weren't supposed to be like this. And the worst of all, she was bored, and sad. That meant she would mope around all day, eating all of the little food she had. The ice cream in the freezer looked pretty tempting, and so did the chocolate in the pantry. But then again, the wine looked _really _tempting.

Just as Kagome was about to pour herself a glass, she thought of Hojo.

Yeah, Hojo was a nice guy. He'd been in love with her since high school. And it had been a while since she talked to him. Hojo was one of those guys who actually cared. One who carried handkerchiefs around and would wipe a girl's tears away if he saw her crying. But then again, she didn't know. But actually, it had been a long time since she'd made dinner for a guy who actually cared. It had been a long time since she'd had any true affection.

And she _still _had his number.

She quickly dialed his number, heart beating fast for some reason, her head racing. Had he been hearing things about her through the grapevine? Would he be another guy who wanted nothing to do with her? What if she ended up getting hurt if he said something rude? Gah, she shouldn't even _care_. What if Hojo had changed, too, and turned out to be another Inuyasha? Fuck that. She waited for him to pick up, foot tapping impatiently against the floor.

"Hojo?" she started out hesitantly without even giving him a chance to say hello. "Um, hey, it's Kagome. Um, we haven't talked in a while, and I was just about to fix dinner," what a lie, "and um, I was wondering if you could stop by so we could catch up? I'm pretty bored."

There wasn't a sound on the other end of the line.

"Um…yeah. It gets pretty boring around here, and I was thinking about you, wondering what you were doing and how your life was going." Kagome said quickly, her stomach sinking.

There was still silence.

"…Um, it's absolutely okay if you don't want to, you know. I'll just…um, well…"

"Kagome?" she winced from the sound of his voice. She heard so much need. He had missed her. She cursed quietly to herself, suddenly wanting to hang up on him, leave him alone because she knew she'd end up hurting him, too. Just like she hurt everyone else. "Kagome…no. I mean, yes, of course. I'd love to catch up with you. But it's pretty late, don't you think?"

She looked at the time and cursed quietly to herself once more. Damn. She hadn't realized it was 8:30 already. No wonder why she was so in her feelings. That tended to happen a lot when it was late at night.

"Yeah, but I miss you, Hojo." She told him, trying to make her voice sound as alluring as she possibly could. "I really, really miss you. I can cook us something. I have wine, too. I want you, Hojo."

"Kagome," his voice had turned to a low whisper over the phone, and she closed her eyes, bracing herself.

"I miss you."

"I'll be there in a few. Wait up for me, okay?"

"Alright. Of course." She hung up, looked at the clock, took a deep breath and gulped down a glass of wine. That was fairly easy.

And yeah, she had enough time to get shitfaced before he arrived.

**XXXXX**

Hojo came at the exact time he said he would. Kagome welcomed him in, wine making her smile huge. It was raining outside, and Hojo was soaked. She took off his jacket, grabbing his hand and helping him inside. He smiled once he was inside, and Kagome stumbled back, a seductive smile on her face as she observed him. However, once she saw his attire, her smile faded.

And then she burst out laughing, giggles shaking her whole body. Hojo's eyebrows furrowed together. She had finally stopped laughing, and she was swinging her hips as she walked up to him, a playful smile on her face. "Hojo, honey, what's up with the clothes? You're dressed like you planned to go out somewhere."

He closed his eyes, feeling her hot breath tickle his ear. The feelings she gave him still made his stomach churn. This was Kagome Higurashi. This was the girl he loved. "I-I um…I thought this was a date. I'm a little confused?"

Kagome simply smiled, blowing a kiss by his earlobe and pressing her body hard against his. His palms were suddenly sweaty, his manhood was suddenly aching, and his stomach was still churning. "Ah, well, dinner didn't go too well. It didn't work out the way I wanted it to, but I have something _much_ better planned for us," she told him, her voice as sweet and seductive as it could be. He smelled alcohol on her breath. There was still pain in those big brown eyes of hers. But this was Kagome Higurashi. This was the girl he loved. "You're exactly on time. I like guys who're punctual, it's a huge turn on for me."

He didn't want to run away even if she was hurting him. This was his one chance, his one and only chance. "Uh…yeah." And that was all he could mutter. She was wearing nothing but a thin, short, silk robe in red. Her makeup was done, her hair was done up. She had tried to look nice. But she always did, even with no effort. Kagome was just as gorgeous as he remembered, nothing seemed to change. He wanted to tell her about the feelings she'd always evoked upon him, but he couldn't speak when she was like this. Damnit, this was his one chance with her and he was already fucking shit up as usual.

"I don't know where you got those clothes from, but you can take them off it makes you feel any better," and that was that. Her robe came off, and she was naked in front of him. In just seconds her hair was down, falling to her lower back in inky black waves. And he couldn't tell her. He couldn't say anything to her, even if he tried. She pushed him onto the couch, climbing atop of him and she began kissing him slowly, so slowly. Her tongue moving against his skin slowly, and he was dying. He wanted to push her away, but then again he didn't want to ever let her go. She was so desperate, she was trying so hard. Had Inuyasha left this empty space in her? Was he the one to make her this sad, this insane?

He took it slow. His shirt was off, and he felt guilty, he felt dirty, felt so ashamed when he helped her kick his pants off. She kissed his neck, her hand sliding down his chest and into his boxers. He was panting now, and he had to speak up before this went any farther. "Too fast," he panted. "Higurashi, slow down. You're running red lights."

"And you're nervous. Relax," she told him, working on giving him a hickey. He groaned when her hand enveloped his shaft and began to pump up and down slowly. Fuck, fuck, fuck. This was Kagome Higurashi, this was the girl he loved. "You like?" She asked, leaning down to kiss his lips.

"Fuck, Kagome, slow down, will you?" He asked her, obvious pain in his voice. But she was obviously too far gone to stop or to even notice. This was Kagome Higurashi, this was the girl he loved. But what happened to the other Kagome he used to love? The sweet one? The one who'd never dream of doing the things she was doing right now? What happened to the eyes that used to sparkle? They were dim and dull now, the boy she loved had hurt her.

It took all the willpower he had to push her away from him. He did it gently. Fuck, he still didn't mean anything to her. There was nothing but lust in her eyes and he was suddenly angry, almost ready to pull his clothes back on and walk out of her damn door forever, but he wouldn't do that. And he couldn't, because this was Kagome Higurashi, this was the girl he loved.

"Inuyasha's the reason you're sad, am I right?" Hojo asked her, his voice completely calm.

Brown eyes widened in shock, then flared in anger. He had hit something deep inside of her that wanted to stay buried. Before she could mouth off to him, cuss him out, tell him not to forget to shut the door on the way out, he pulled her close to him, ignoring the fact that they were both naked. He'd give her what he want, because this was Kagome Higurashi, this was the girl he loved.

"Kagome? You know you're beautiful, right? And any man would be lucky to have you, and I'm sure you'd really make someone happy one day, and I'm sure that someone will make you happy, too. You're gorgeous, after all, and you're wanted by many. And I just wanted you to know that everything's going to be okay, I promise you."

She looked at him as if he had come from another planet. How'd he know exactly what to say, exactly what to do? How'd he know that what he just said was exactly what she needed to hear? How'd Hojo know? And why couldn't she love him for those words if she knew he was telling the truth?

"Stay with me," she whispered, pressing her lips against his and climbing atop of him once more. Her tongue slipped into his mouth, he let her push him back, he let her rub herself against him. He let her cry out, he let her kiss him, he let her suck his neck and do things with those hands that only _she_ could accomplish. He let her because she was Kagome Higurashi, she was the girl he loved. "Please, Hojo. Please don't leave."

And he didn't.

Her tongue was so sad and slow against his skin. Kagome was so beautiful, in all aspects. She kissed him, a tear running down her cheek. But he didn't dare say anything. This was Kagome Higurashi, this was the girl he loved. And he adored her, thought highly of her despite what anyone said. He'd never lose hope in her, because he loved her. He had tons of faith for her. This was Kagome Higurashi, and she deserved nothing but the best. This was the girl, no, woman that he loved. She wasn't the little girl she was in high school. She was a grown woman now.

But when you loved someone, wasn't that love too heavy to carry without them knowing? Perhaps if he told her, that would help get some wait off his shoulders. Wasn't love too special, too rare to be kept closed up? Wasn't it too special to be kept a secret? He wanted to tell her so badly…but she was gorgeous and he was just simple. Kagome was beyond simple. But even if she didn't feel the same, he didn't want to keep this thing inside of him. If he held it in any longer, he was sure that he was going to…

Explode. That's the way Kagome Higurashi, the _woman _he loved made him feel. She made him feel as if he was going to explode. Simple as that. Or maybe break apart, come undone. Or maybe burst into flames. How'd she have these effects on him?

He thrust in and out of her quickly, giving her exactly what she wanted.

Words were gold.

He panted. He couldn't breathe right. She was suffocating him and he loved it. "I love you, Kagome."

All she responded with was a moan. That meant he was doing it right, didn't it? Then why did he feel like he was doing it wrong? He had all the right moves in all the wrong places. He had to prove this to her. His hips were thrusting harder and harder, and she was right here but she felt so far away. Shouldn't he have been happy? This was Kagome Higurashi, the woman he loved. He should've felt like the luckiest man alive. But he knew he wouldn't be until she said it back.

"Fuck…" was all he could mutter as she rode him to get her nirvana. He thrust into her as hard as he could, it was so hard to speak but he spoke anyway, his voice trembling with pleasure and emotion that needed to be released.

Words were gold. And this was still Kagome Higurashi, the girl he fucking loved.

"I love you, Kagome."

She pressed her mouth against his as if she didn't want to hear what all he had to say. And then he screamed in her mouth, stars in his eyes. She came next. There were no stars in her eyes, just sparkles. _Why weren't there stars_? Oh, he almost forgot, because she didn't love him back.

Words were _still_ gold.

He was still inside of her, her body still laying on top of his. And he was panting. She was panting, too, alcohol still on her breath. Words were _always_ going to be gold, and Inuyasha was always going to hurt her. He wanted to feel smaller. He wanted to be so fucking small that he could inject himself into her bloodstream, clean up all the mess Inuyasha made. His Kagome, she never deserved to love someone that much, only to be hurt that much more.

"I love you, Kagome. _I love you_."

And she never gave him her love back because the only love she had was for Inuyasha. And maybe that was the love that kept her dreaming. All he wanted to do was see her happy. And she never gave him a kiss, but one thing she did give him was this beautiful melancholy smile, told him to sleep here if he wanted. She got up to take a shower. He heard her bedroom door close and shut.

And that was the story of him and Kagome Higurashi, the woman he loved.

**XXXXX**

It was the most boring morning ever.

Fuck, how he hated Monday mornings. You see, everything was supposed to be going great. After all, Takahashi Corp. was one of the most infamous business industries in Tokyo. But the coffee tasted stale and burned, and what else made everything great, you ask? He'd stained his silk shirt with the damn shit.

He hated working. He didn't feel the need to anyway, he had tons of money. But he listened to his old man, and when his old man said he had to work, he worked.

There were so many work papers on his desk and so much to be done, and he was so pissed off. His secretary hadn't even showed up with breakfast yet, and she'd been calling in sick a bunch. And if she ever bought her ass into the office finally, she was definitely getting one hell of lecture from him for slacking out on her job. There were meetings to cancel, meetings to approve of, calls to answer, and the fax machine to deal with. And she still wasn't here and he was beyond pissed off.

He ran a hand down his face in aggravation, cursing quietly. The paperwork was too much to do, honestly. And there was still so much of other shit that needed to get done, and just five minutes later, he was nearly about to pull his long hair out of his head.

He stood up, a scowl on his face. Co-workers and other irrelevant people scurried to get out of his way. He was on a mad hunt for his father, he couldn't deal with all this shit by himself.

Inuyasha finally found him, and took a deep breath to compose himself before speaking to the old man.

It didn't work.

He was trembling in anger. "Where the _fuck_ is Midori? I swear to fucking _god_, there's so much _shit_ that needs to taken care of right now that it's not even funny! I've got all this paperwork on my desk, the fax machine has been going off all morning, I've got coffee stained on my _favorite_ shirt, and by the way, the coffee tastes like shit, and why haven't I got my fucking breakfast yet?!"

His old man didn't even seem to pay him any attention, making him growl dangerously. Finally, his father turned around. "Follow me into my office. I don't want you having one of your little temper tantrums in front of anyone. That's certainly not good for business."

Inuyasha scoffed, following after his father anyway.

Inu no Taisho was thankful that his office was soundproof, his son was about to have a meltdown. There was no need in hoping for the best. He was slightly reluctant to speak at first, but he did anyway, going about the matter in his famous professional voice. "As you know, Midori has been calling in sick lately. She called this morning, said she wouldn't be able to come in. Matter of fact, she won't be in for a while. She's pregnant, and she needs some time to herself. She feels as if she needs rest, and she's worried she'll be too stressed."

Inuyasha growled again, reaching in his pocket for his iPhone. After all, he had this bitch on speed dial. However, his father snatched it from him, challenging his son with his own growl.

"Midori's human. Her child will be half-demon, just like you. All she's asking for is a successful pregnancy, Inuyasha. This is her first child. I'm sure she'll be back later on, but right now, we need to find you a new secretary."

"No, fuck that!" Inu no Taisho simply shook his head at his son. His ears hurt. Hadn't Inuyasha ever learned to stop whining? "A new fucking secretary you say? There's no one else who'll put up with this shit but Midori, dad! She was all I had, I depended on her? Tell me, where else are we gonna find someone that dependable?"

"We'll try."

With that being said, Inuyasha stormed out of his father's office and into his own while Inu no Taisho shook his head at him. He didn't think his son would ever learn responsibility.

**XXXXX**

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…" was all Kagome could murder as she did sixty past the limit. She was late for work again, and this time, Kaede would surely kill her.

She had mostly forgotten how the night had went. All she remembered was climbing on top of Hojo, she didn't even remember if he was a good fuck or not. She had woke up and got out of bed even though the bed seemed to be begging her to stay. She remembered having this pounding ass headache, and fuck, she still had it. The sun was bright in her eyes, making the hammering in her head even worse. God, this had to be the most shitty morning that she'd ever experienced.

She noticed Rin giving her the evil eye as she walked into the building, nearly an hour late. She rolled her eyes. Rin meant a lot to her, sure. But she was one of those people who had faith in her. And Kagome didn't consider it a good thing when people had faith in her since she always fucked everything up. Rin was a perfectionist. Kagome always seemed to disappoint her, though. And Rin was also Sesshomaru's intended mate, which should have gave her every reason to avoid the young, petite girl. After all, Sesshomaru and Inuyasha, dare she even _think_ of his name, were half-brothers. But Rin was like a sister to her. Shit, her, Sango, and Rin all considered themselves as sisters. She could've been a bit more appreciative towards Rin, but she didn't want to give the girl false hopes and disappoint her even more.

Her and Rin were almost nothing alike. Rin was happy all the time, Kagome didn't really think there'd ever been a time where she was sad. It wasn't as if Kagome was sad all the time, she just found it unusual, as anyone else in their right mind, to be so happy. Rin had these deep brown eyes, blessed with the puppy-dog look so she could make Sesshomaru give in to her every single demand. Rin was always the optimist, and was never quick to judge anyone by their appearance, but rather their attitude. Rin had anger issues, too. But after you were done pissing her off, she'd forget it ever happened and smile as wide as she could. The faith this girl had could literally move mountains. And Sesshomaru, well, their whole lives were dedicated to each other.

She envied that sometimes.

She was so tired. It hurt to move, it hurt to even think. All she wanted to do was get back into bed and pretend this morning never happened. Who the fuck decided to have Monday mornings anyway? Monday morning sounded hideous. It sounded depressing.

She grabbed an apron and a cap and got to work, acting as if she didn't come in an hour late. Kagome immediately felt guilty the moment she saw how long the line was and when she took notice in the angry customers Rin had been dealing with all by herself. She shot her a sympathetic, sorry-at-the-same-time look, and Rin rolled her eyes, and then a serious look came over her face. "Kaede's pissed, Kagome. I honestly think she's gonna let you loose. If she asked to speak to you after your shift is over," Rin paused, thinking about what to say next, "…you're seriously screwed, babe."

"I doubt it," Kagome told her friend, a subtle smirk on her face. "She loves me too much."

"Seriously, Kagome. I'm being dead honest, and I'm sorry."

She didn't even pay her any attention. The customers were loud and cranky and made the hammering in her head so much worse, but she dealt with it anyway. She smiled at each one of them, her voice soft. This couldn't be the end. Her and Kaede had depth, they went way back. Kaede loved Kagome as her own child, and Kagome loved the old little lady to death. She had grew up around her. She had watched after Kagome's family after her father had disappeared.

The day went by extremely slow. As usual, Kagome had ended up tying her hair into a bun since it decided to frizz out and stick to the dampness of her neck. Kaede really needed to fix this place up. Rin's shift had ended long ago, and now it was just her. There weren't many customers at the end of the day, thank god. She was still exhausted and somewhere along the way, Rin's words had started to sink in.

"We're closing early, child," the sound of Kaede's voice behind her nearly made her jump out of her own skin. Come back here, Kagome. I'd like to have a few words with you."

**XXXXX**

Sango tried to rub Kagome's back soothingly, Rin had the box of tissues and chocolates.

"Hey," Sango tried. "Stop crying. You know, you were _way_ too smart for that job anyway, no offense to you, Rin," Sango gave Rin a look. "And you know that when shit hits the fan, you're always welcome to come stay with me and Miroku. We don't mind."

Kagome sat up, shaking her head before snatching a tissue out of the box to blow her nose. Sure, she'd been fired once or twice before. But damnit, not by someone who meant a lot to her. It had been a week and she was still crying over the shit like a baby. Kaede had told her plain out and simple that she was fired. No regret or sympathy in that old, gruff voice of hers. And here she was, her ass getting fatter (literally) by the minute with all of the chocolate she was eating, tissues all over her crappy apartment floor. "Every time I stay with you and Miroku, I can hear you two having sex through the walls."

Sango's face lit up at that comment, and Rin busted out laughing.

What she was worried about the most was how she was going to remain independent. She didn't want to depend on anyone but herself, and maybe that would be the death of her in the end, but Kagome Higurashi always got what she wanted.

"I have a great idea!" Sango announced, clearing her throat. "I can get you hooked up, honestly," she shot Rin a look, and it took her awhile, but she finally figured it out, smirking and stroking Kagome's hair. "Um, there's this job down at Takahashi Corp., and I heard they're in need of a secretary. You know, it pays good, too. After all, it's Takahashi Corp. You'd have to be crazy not to at least give it a chance."

Kagome scoffed, and then sniffled. "You two are absolutely out of your damn minds if you think I'm working there."

"What reason do you have not to?" Rin piped up.

Sango shot her a glare, and the room was silent, suddenly filled with tension. Rin rolled her eyes. "Listen, it's not that big of a deal. I'm pretty sure it's not Inuyasha who's even in need of a secretary," Kagome winced at the sound of his name, Rin shot her a sympathetic look. "Look, all I'm saying is that you need this. And even if that means facing him, you've got to be the bigger woman and actually put up with it. I know it still hurts, I know that. But you just got fired, Kagome. You refuse to let anyone help, so all I'm asking is for you to help yourself. And I'm sure I could persuade Sesshy into helping you out, showing you the ropes. You're a hard-working girl when you want to be, Kagome. And all I'm saying is that wouldn't you want to do this to prove you're stronger than that? To actually feel independent? Shit, it's Takahashi Corp. They'll pay you good. Plus, you actually get along with Sesshy's parents. I'm sure they'd love having you to help them out."

Kagome almost sighed in defeat. Rin went on a mile a minute, but still, the girl had a point. Sango was looking at her expectantly, so she obviously agreed with Rin. It's funny how she thought she was over Takahashi. He'd broken her heart. So why had she boned him several times? Kagome immediately shook the thought out of her head.

Inuyasha Takahashi didn't give a fuck about her, so why did she give a fuck about him? It was better when the bastard was gone. As soon as he came back, her feelings did too. But maybe, just maybe, she didn't feel as deeply for him as she did when she was in high school. After all, it's been several years and she was drunk when she fucked him.

She let a small smile take over her features.

Maybe Rin was right.

**XXXXX**

Cute shirt, tight skirt, fat ass, smooth, tan, long legs, baby prostitute smelling perfume, perfect makeup, wavy black hair that fell to her back in ripples, just enough cleavage showing to leave suckers wondering, and nice earrings.

Dare she say so, Kagome Higurashi looked extremely sexy on this beautiful morning.

She didn't know the exact reason why she had wanted to look so nice. She just felt as if she had to prove herself. And she certainly would. She looked like a million dollars.

Her belly was doing these weird little flip flops as soon as she entered the building. And that was weird, because she was never ever nervous. She wouldn't even for a second let her mind think that Inuyasha was the cause to being this anxious. She would be okay.

And then, she actually found out that Inuyasha was the one who had needed a secretary so immediately.

"Uh…are you serious right now?" she had asked Jaken rather rudely. Jaken was Sesshomaru's little servant, or whatever. The ugly little green demon seemed to hate Rin with everything inside of him. Sometimes, Kagome swore he was in love with Sesshomaru.

Jaken rolled his eyes, sighing haughtily. He'd never been fond of humans. "Yes, why wouldn't I be? _Rin_," he said her name so nastily, "assured Sesshomaru that you were the perfect person for the job. She stated that you were hardworking, ambitious, and obedient. Now, I'm sure that's a whole different story," Kagome glared at the ugly little thing. "But humans think they can get whatever they want usually, right? Rin can get whatever she wants from _my_ lord. I hope you have a lot of patience, _Higurashi_. You're certainly going to need it."

"I _certainly do_ have plenty of patience, just not for you, Jaken." And with that being said, she walked off. She knew where his office was. She'd been here before. It really wasn't that much of a big deal, was it? After all, she'd had feelings for him a long time ago. She told herself she could do this, but her body was proving her otherwise.

As soon as she got to his door, her legs nearly went to jelly. Her heart started pounding in her chest. HOLY SHIT she'd fucked her big cousin's boyfriend and now she was his secretary HOLY SHIT. Her breath caught in her throat, she raised her hand to knock but stopped, her fist just a few centimeters from banging on his office door. HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT she couldn't do this HOLY SHIT this was Inuyasha Takahashi the guy she used to love way back in high school and the guy who loved her big cousin and the only guy she ever loved.

HOLY SHIT she couldn't deal.

Her hand kept raising, then slowly falling to her side. She couldn't do this. She raised her fist again, sure she wasn't going to actually knock once more, and there stood Inuyasha Takahashi with the meanest scowl on his face. Kagome backed away slowly, a slightly seductive smile on her face. And then she almost fell back, nearly killed herself. Her face turned red as a tomato and Inuyasha stood there, obviously not entertained at all. Fuck, what in the hell was she thinking? Why did she even agree to this?

"Uh, oops! Wrong office, sorry, Takahashi," she said, voice high.

"Nice try, bitch. We both already know that this is the exact right office. Now get your ass in here, the fax machine won't shut up and there's a shitload of paperwork on my desk that needs to be done immediately. Oh, and some coffee would be nice, too. But not from here because it tastes like shit. You've been standing outside of my office for five minutes and you haven't done shit. Get to work, Higurashi. Trust me, you don't wanna piss me off."

Kagome was too stunned to move. Her legs still felt like jelly, and she felt all her composure and confidence crumbling completely apart. He looked her up and down slowly, she watched as his mouth parted and his tongue snaked out to lick his lips. He was just as beautiful as he was in high school. His eyes slowly landed on her sizable amount of cleavage, and she jumped back as if his lingering gaze had burned her. _It had_.

She didn't love him, she did _not_ love him.

"Jerk," she muttered quietly, eyes taking him in before looking around the office. The stack of paperwork on his desk was huge. Her eyes widened. "You expect me to finish all of this? You're fucking crazy!"

"Ah," he smirked, leaning against the desk. His eyes were on hers and her stupid, stupid heart started beating so fast that she was sure it would explode. "My darling Higurashi, you must remember that I could have you fired before you can even blink. You don't want that, do you?" Kagome backed up, heart still racing as he started to walk towards her.

"You stay out of my way and I'll stay out of yours." He whispered this in her ear, and her heart miserably jumped.

Inuyasha licked his lips once more, taking in her attire. That face, that body. He leaned back, smirking when he realized that he had her frozen. Her back was against the wall, his arms on either side of her so she couldn't escape. And then his hand started wandering, his thumbs hooked on the inside of her tight ass skirt. He growled in her ear and she panted. "You shouldn't have wore this outfit. This is a business place, not some fucking runway," he barked at her, leaning in even more. "I about killed my father when he told me _you_ would be the new secretary."

Kagome couldn't breathe. She felt as if this jerk had taken all of her oxygen away, and she wanted it back. She quickly ducked under his arm, backing away from him. He laughed, and he pushed her against the desk, not even slightly concerned as all of his paperwork fell to the ground.

"I hate you," she growled out at him. "I hate you so fucking much Takahashi."

There was pure hate in her eyes. He laughed, leaning in incredibly close once more. "I hate you too," he told her softly, and then he was kissing her neck, and she closed her eyes, letting out a small whimper that was never meant to be heard. "I hate you so much, Higurashi," he growled loudly, nipping at her ear now. "But…I want you."

She tried to push him off but he was like a brick wall. He laughed again as she let out a pant. "Don't laugh at me."

"Oh really?" he laughed again and she glared up at him. "What, you think that you're in control? Bitch, I could make you or break you. I practically run this place. I could ruin you…"

"You disgust me, you fucking pig…" she spat out, trying to remain strong.

"The feeling's mutual once again," he smirked against her neck. "You're _just _like Kikyo in some ways, you know? You're both bitches who think they can get whatever they want. You're both so damn stubborn."

She took all of her strength and forced all of it on him, finally pushed him away. Tears were hot down her cheeks, not just from all he was saying, all he was doing, but also because of all she was feeling. "Me and Kikyo aren't _anything_ alike. It's pretty wrong to talk down about your fucking fiancé or girlfriend or mate or what ever she fucking is to you, to her own baby cousin. Mmm, you're still the same Inuyasha, aren't you? You sink down as low as a casket. And that's why you disgust me."

He laughed in her face. "Oh, but you're _definitely _not the same Kagome, now, are you? I wonder how disappointed Mama Higurashi is. I wonder how bad it most feel to know that your daughter's nothing but a fucking slut. And that's the difference between you and Kikyo. At least she doesn't fuck every guy she sees."

Tears were steady down her face now and she was so close to crying out. "That's _not _true, Takahashi."

"Really?" he snarled. "How do you explain us fucking, then?"

Before she could respond, his lips were pressed roughly against hers. His tongue in her mouth, hers against his. She put all the hate she had for him into this kiss, all the love she had for him into this kiss. He lifted her legs up, wrapped them around his hips, just like that. He thrust his pants-covered erection between her legs, the smell of her arousal driving him almost to insanity.

They broke apart, panting like fishes out of water. For the first time she felt ashamed. She looked up to see his eyes turned completely red. _Inuyasha_?

He immediately jumped back from her, shaking his head and she watched in absolute fear, surprise, and lust as his eyes returned to their amber hue. They were both still panting, and his eyes were on her cleavage again, watching the way her chest quickly moved up and down, breasts rising and falling. And she was _wet_.

"I could fuck you right here on this desk if I wanted to," he growled out.

She shook her head as if to clear it, and when she stood, she was sure she was going to fall to the ground because her legs were so shaky. The smell of her arousal was still in the air, she was sure, and her cheeks burned with shame. She had to be the most horrible person in the world. This was her big cousin's intended mate, boyfriend, whatever. It was still wrong. It was so wrong and she knew Kikyo would have every right to hate her if she found out about all of this shit.

He watched her as she straightened out her skirt. Why should he feel bad? Him and Kikyo were nothing. But then again, this was the girl he'd grown to hate in such a short amount of time. So why did he feel as if he couldn't get enough of her?

"I need coffee," he muttered, and she looked over at him, cheeks still burned with shame and her eyes glossy as if she was about to cry. "I'd like my breakfast, too. Listen, Higurashi, I'll stay out of your way if you stay out of mines."

She simply nodded, she still couldn't speak. This annoyed him. He growled quietly to himself as he watched her wide hips swing out the door. Her ass was so fat it looked as if it was about to pop out of her skirt.

That face…that body…

Inuyasha wanted the woman he hated more than he'd wanted anything in his whole life, maybe more than he wanted him and Kikyo to work shit out.

That face…that body…

He had to have her.

**XXXXX**

"…and then he kissed me. It was nothing like the first night I saw him at the club. It was so rough, Sango. This is it. I really hate him and he really hates me…and then he called me a slut and I'm so ashamed. Not only because of the whole Kikyo thing…but it's also the fact that I let him get to me. For fuck's sake, I cried in front of this dude. And that's totally not me, it's not me at all. One minute we were arguing and it was so intense, the next he was dry-fucking me on the desk and I was really about to ask if he had a condom." Kagome explained to Sango, her body slung across the mattress.

Just as she began to take another sip out of the bottle of liquor, Sango stopped her with a sympathetic smile. "No more of this, I hate to remind you, but you have work tomorrow, hun," Kagome whined slightly, but she obeyed Sango. "I know it's hard," Sango began stroking her hair soothingly, "But listen, it's only a few months until his prior secretary decides to come back. Just eight more months."

Kagome groaned, looking up at the ceiling miserably.

"Inuyasha's a jerk, I know. But that's the way he's always been, shit, you knew him in high school, too. I wonder, how'd you fall in love with such a douchebag?" Sango asked, taking a sip of the liquor herself.

"I don't know, to be honest," Kagome looked thoughtful for a while. "Back then, I was always jealous of Kikyo, you know? She had this gorgeous boyfriend. I was always pretty, but not as pretty. Always good, but not good enough. If I were Kikyo, I wouldn't have trusted Inuyasha so easily. It was nothing more than mere teasing, but he always made me smile, he made me laugh, he made me so angry. He'd talk to me so intimately, and to this day I still wonder how you can love someone, but they're not enough for you. You cheat on them, but you love them."

Sango opened her mouth and Kagome growled before she could speak what she was about to say. "It was _never _like that for me. I never cheated because he never loved me and we were never together and I've got a feeling we'll always hate each other. It doesn't really both me, especially after all he said to me today. Oh, and let's not forget, he worked me to death. And they say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. I completely agree with that."

"But it's never worked for you, has it?" Sango asked quietly.

"Not really. But I'm waiting for the day when I hate him as much as he hates me," Kagome said just as quietly. Sango's apartment was so quiet, Miroku was already asleep in the living room on the couch. Kagome cut the lights off. Her heart was hurting. Would Kikyo's hurt the same if she ever found out? "I'm going to bed, Sango. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, love."

She didn't even dream about Inuyasha.

**A/N: Woah, it's been nearly a year. I think I'm getting more into this story than All I Need. I've got a real interesting storyline in my head. I've been getting a few reviews, some people really wanted me to update. So I did. It took a shitload of time, but I did it. Thank God it's summer. Now there's more time to focus on my writing. :)**

**Anyway, I'm really sorry for the wait. So many things have been going on in my life! Some good, some bad. Some blessings, and some lessons. **

**If I get a lot of reviews, you'll definitely get a quick update! Love y'all, goodnight!**


	6. Sex and Diamonds

Get him coffee, bring him breakfast, do half of his paperwork, answer calls, schedule meetings. Call off meetings, answer the fax machine. Listen to all the voice messages. Check over his files for any typos. Send them. Stack those papers, attach that to the binder, to that binder, wait, no, that's the wrong binder, bring him bottled water. Bring him lunch. Finish the rest of the paperwork. Answer more calls, schedule more meetings, call off more meetings, listen to about thirty more voicemails, get him a snack. Check over his documents, look hard for any typos, send them. It shouldn't have been that hard, right?

Yeah.

The tension that always seemed to fill the room was so thick you could slice through it with a knife. He had been honest with her. He promised to stay out of her way if she stayed out of his. But she couldn't avoid him.

In the evening, she'd feel his eyes on her as she checked over his documents, as she filled out paperwork. He'd just sit there and look at her like he hated her, and she'd do the same. They never said shit to each other unless it was work related, and when they did speak, their words were firm and brief.

She'd been working for Inuyasha Takahashi a little over two weeks, but it felt like two months. It was rather boring and intensely awkward, but work was work. You did what you had to do to get paid. She felt as if she hadn't got drunk in forever. She only got the weekends off, and he did too.

It was Thursday morning, she was thankful for that. Just one more day and she wouldn't have to see him for two days. She could definitely deal with that. She expected it to be like any other morning. She'd come in with Starbucks in her hand, and either a bagel with cream cheese or a donut. He wouldn't say a word as she laid his food on the desk for him, and she wouldn't say anything, either. The tension would be thick as hell, but she'd avoid it, act like nothing ever happened between the two of them.

"Kagome," he called her over, his voice brief and firm as always. She looked at him nervously, wondering what the hell he wanted with her. She was scared. She didn't want him to try anything. She didn't want the tension to get any thicker. She didn't want him to bring up the past. He looked as if he was going to regret what he was about to ask her. "We're having this dinner party Monday night, 9 o'clock sharp, and I need you. Since I'm not able to find any other date that's suitable for this event, I need you there..."

Kagome froze. A date? Did he just say a date? She backed away from him, shaking her head. "Ugh, I think I'm going to be quite busy Monday night..." she thought hard to find a good excuse. But there was nothing coming into her head and out of her mouth. Her eyes were wide, her heart picking up pace. A date. Inuyasha fucking Takahashi needed a date, and she was the only one he could find? No, she couldn't deal with that.

He growled, grabbing her forearm to pull her back, trying to make her understand. "It's on such a short notice, and I really don't have the time to find anyone else. This is an important business dinner. Dad wants to get a deal with these people. If I could, I would go without a date but those are the old man's orders. So Higurashi, I need your ass pronto."

No pun-intended, he thought to himself, smirking.

Today, she had decided to wear plain black leggings, 5-inch pumps so high that she was almost at his height, and a fancy shirt that showed plenty of cleavage. Every single day the tension in the room would be thick, and he caught himself thinking of it as sexual tension. Her face, her body...the clothes that the wench wore were practically telling him to pounce her, but he'd kept his distance for many reasons, and some were reasons that he couldn't explain. He still remembered that kiss, how his eyes had turned, how his demon had howled. She made it so difficult not to want her. But when he'd kissed Kikyo or any other woman, nothing like that had ever happened. It had scared him shitless, and he wouldn't try anything until he could control this little 'situation.' It was a good thing that he hated her...

"It's not like you're telling the truth, anyway, wench. You have nothing to do Monday night, and if you really did, it would probably consist of fucking Kouga, or maybe a sleepover with Sango, or maybe you were thinking of having a few drinks," he smirked when her mouth fell open in surprise. "It's not like you would be my first choice, but like I said, all of this is on short notice. I need you."

Kagome simply snarled. Inuyasha Takahashi was such a jerk, possibly the biggest jerk she'd met in all the freaking years of her miserable life. Nope, she didn't love him. How could someone love him? "Sorry, buddy. Looks like you're gonna have to find some other choices. I'm busy."

He growled. God, he hated this bitch. But still, that face, that body. He'd never hated someone so much and wanted them just as much. Memories came flashing through his head of her legs wrapped tight around him, the sounds she made. God, he could fuck her over and over again just to keep hearing them.

Realizing that he was damn near close to losing himself, he cleared his throat and reminded himself why he hated her and why she was such a bitch. Higurashi's, always thinking they could get whatever the fuck they wanted. "Too bad, Higurashi. I hate to say this," he said cooly, a smirk on his face that Kagome wanted to jump up and snatch off, "but I practically own you now. All I'd have to do is make this little call to father, and it's all done for you."

She looked as if she took that as a challenge, and then she laughed in his face. "Awh, Takahashi...you honestly think I need you that much? You know, I could be a model. I could always beg Kaede to take me back in. Shit, I could be famous. So fuck you, you don't own me and you never will! You think I need you and this job? Honey," she snarled, "I'm an independent woman. I can make it with or without you. Shit, you're the one who seems pretty needy at the moment."

He smirked. This was turning him on in the oddest way, this bitch was furious. "Monday night, 8:30 sharp I'll be at the shrine to pick you up. I want you to look presentable, not like a whore. Find a really nice dress if you even own one," Kagome's mouth dropped once more and Inuyasha chuckled. He turned around to begin on his lunch, leaving her speechless. He looked over his shoulder at her, the same smirk on his lips. "Oh, and, Higurashi? Don't make an ass out of me."

Kagome stood there, sure steam was coming out of her ears. Did he...did he just call her a whore? Did he hear a word of what she'd said? His words finally sunk in, and she found herself yelling at him, honestly about to pick up a stack of paperwork and toss the shit at that pretty little head of his!

"Oh, don't make an ass out of you?! You've already accomplished that, jerk!"

Inuyasha laughed out loud. Higurashi's yelling was enough to make the glass crack.

Matter of fact, he thought it actually did. Hmm, he was going to have to get that checked out...

**XXXXX**

"Mmm, okay, so do you wanna know what I was thinking about for the big day?!" Rin asks Sesshomaru excitedly, her smile as huge as it could get.

"Not particularly, Rin..." he says, his voice nothing but a dull monotone which makes her smile falter slightly, but she goes on anyway. He doesn't roll his eyes at her. He doesn't tell her to be quiet.

Rin's dream are important to him, she's important to him. And he loves her so much, but he's just not the type to show it so easily. She knows that. But still, she's accepted him so easily as if it was only natural for her to do so. He didn't expect her to bow down to his feet like all other mortals or immortals did.

You see, Rin had this little bad boy problem. Of course Sesshomaru wasn't a bad boy when she first met him, but he attracted her. He had honestly not seemed to care about anything, and that envied her and intrigued her. Shoot, she almost wanted to be him. She didn't know how they had fallen in love, they differed from each other greatly. She was the sun rising. She was bright, over joyous, she was hope. And he was the sun setting, calm, cool, and collected. Everything she ever wanted.

She jumped up to wrap her arms around her lord. Oh well, you loved who you loved and nothing could come between you and that love. Not even death. She planted a kiss on his neck before running her tongue along the pale skin. "You know, we don't have to go through with this if you don't want. If you really see no point in this after the mating...that's fine with me, my lord. It's all about what you want. I don't want to be the only one feeling special, you should feel special, too."

She broke away from her quiet Sesshomaru, twirling lightly and laughing. She knew she was always an optimistic, happy girl. Would you believe her if she said that Sesshomaru made her even happier?

He stopped her little charade by gripping her wrist ever so gently. You see, Sesshomaru was barely ever open, and over these years, she'd learned to deal with that, and learned to see everything he wanted to say in his eyes. "Go on," he told her softly.

She looked at him, slightly surprised. Sesshomaru hardly ever caught her by surprise.

"Uh...okay!" she told him, her face lighting up like a Christmas tree. "You see, I wanted it outside. I want to be surrounded by family and friends. My dress would sparkle like my eyes do whenever we're close, and I wanted Kagome to be my maid of honor, Sango, Ayame, and possibly Kikyo as bridesmaids. I think it could be wonderful. I'd look so pretty...pretty for you, for my lord. Our marriage wouldn't just be based on a mate mark, a blood bond, even though that's important, too. I want to hear the words 'until death do part.' I want Izayoi and Inu no Taisho there and I want them to be proud of us, of what we did. I want cute little flower girls and handsome little boys to be the ring bearers. I want to look in your eyes and say I do, I want to kiss your lips in front of all the ones we love and let them know that our love is infinite. Sesshomaru, that would be the best day of my life."

She was too busy day-dreaming, a huge smile on her face, to even hear what Sesshomaru had said. She snapped out of it, a sort of sad smile on her face. Sesshomaru didn't like that. "Uh, I'm sorry, my lord. I guess I uh...I got carried away. Now what did you say?"

Sesshomaru tapped his finger impatiently. "I asked you when, silly girl."

Rin froze, her deep brown eyes getting huge. "Uh, what did you just say?"

She knew he was annoying him, but this was the most beautiful thing she'd heard in a while. Her face broke out into a huge grin, her laugh making everything around her fall in love. Her pretty, white teeth showed, and her laugh seemed to echo. He wanted to listen to her for the rest of his life.

"When?" he asked again, expression stoic but eyes speaking volumes of emotion.

"Oh, Sesshy!" she squealed. "A week, two weeks, a month! Whatever! Oh, heavens, I can't wait to tell Kagome and Sango!" She wrapped her arms tight around him before kissing him passionately.

"Oh, shit, I have to tell them!"

And with that, the wind seemed to whisk her away. The girl was almost moving faster than him, and he was a full-fledged demon.

He felt a tug at the corner of his mouth.

Humans, he'd never understand them.

XXXXX

"Sangoooo!" Rin sung happily to her friend through the phone, making her hold the phone out a few inches from her. She winced. God, it wasn't normal for someone to be so happy all the time.

"What the fuck is her problem?" Miroku asked from behind her before his hand landed on her ass.

Sango clenched her teeth, briefly telling Rin to hold on before she smacked the shit out of him. "Ouch!" came his loud yelp of pain, and Sango hissed. "That's what you get, you fucking lech."

She put her ear to the receiver, trying to muster a smile. "Um, so I guess there must be good news. You, uh, sound happier than usual."

"Uh, are you okay, Sango? I heard a crash just now, what's going on?" Rin asked through the line curiously.

There was another crash and Sango winced, biting her tongue so she wouldn't go completely ape shit on her husband. "Oh, Miroku's just touching something that he really shouldn't be touching. Everything's fucki-" Miroku touched her ass again and she nearly exploded. But she quickly shook it off. "Oh, everything's just peachy."

"I have the best news ever!" Rin told her excitedly, and Sango rolled her eyes. The simplest things made Rin happy.

"Oh, what? Sesshomaru finally agreed to letting you have a puppy?" Sango asked sarcastically, suddenly in a fowl mood.

"Um...no," she could practically hear Rin frowning, and just as quickly, she was happy again. "The big day's in a month, maybe less than that...me and Sesshomaru are finally getting married!"

"What?" Sango asked in complete disbelief. "How the hell did you get Fluffy to agree to that?!"

"I don't know, but I worked magic. God, Sango, I've never ever been this happy! He finally agreed. You know all the shit I went through just to get him to agree, but I guess he finally saw it from my perspective. I am human, after all. We do things differently." Rin explained quickly, so excited that she almost sounded out of breath.

Sango rolled her eyes with a huge smile on her face, her mood finally lightening. "That's great. So what am I?"

"I already have most of it planned out. Kagome is the maid of honor. You, Ayame, possibly Kikyo, and maybe a few of the girls I'm still good friends with from high school could be bridesmaids." Sango nodded her head, kept listening to her as Miroku struggled to get up off his ass in the background. She turned around, gave him a smirk. Since Rin had put her in a good mood, he might get lucky tonight. "Oh, and a few of my girls from high school have some really cute kids. I was thinking that maybe I could persuade the kids into being flower girls, and of course we need ring bearers! Inuyasha could be-"

Sango cut her off immediately. "There's no way in hell that Fluffy's getting Inuyasha to be the best man."

"...Yeah," Rin replied, "you're right about that. Ugh, maybe Jaken, even though I can't stand him," this didn't ruin Rin's mood one bit. "Oh, it's going to be the best day of my life, Sango. Spread the news to Kagome, will you? I have to give Sesshomaru his present for finally giving me what I want!"

Sango rolled her eyes, making a puking sound before she laughed. "I'll be sure to tell her. I was just about to head out to her apartment, anyway. Love you, angel. Call me tomorrow!"

"Love you too, and I will!" Rin said, and Sango hung up quickly. Looking back, she turned her attention into Miroku who was sitting on the bed, sulking.

"What was all of that about?" Miroku asked.

Sango smiled seductively, making her way to the bed so she could straddle him, run her hands up his chest. He was surprised at how quickly her demeanor had changed.

Sango ignored his question, blowing a kiss by his earlobe before she kicked his ear, her mouth moving down to his neck.

"Do you remember our honeymoon, Miroku?" Sango asked sweetly, pure lust in her eyes.

"Of course," he nearly panted.

"Let's remake those memories."

Whatever Rin said, Miroku praised it. He got more than lucky that night.

**XXXXX**

(_3 days later_)

Those were the fastest two days Kagome had ever seen in her life. Friday was the usual. Her and Inuyasha argued a little, but guess what?

That bastard had given her money out of his own pocket as if she couldn't afford to buy her own clothes. At least try to look sophisticated, he'd told her as he gave her the cash. Get you some nice jewelry and some of those pumps, too. I can't have my date looking trashy, he'd told her.

She'd been freaking out all weekend, and weekends were supposed to be relaxing. It was now 6 o'clock, and all she'd done was taken a shower. Her and Sango had rummaged through expensive stores all weekend until they finally found THE dress. It was gorgeous, Kagome couldn't lie. It was a long white gown with slight a fringe in the middle, so excuse her bragging on herself, but the shit made her look like a goddess. The back was cut out, and it had a slit down on the end of it so there was plenty of legs to show.

She honestly didn't know why she was freaking out. The only words her brain could process were date and Inuyasha. She had no reason to be freaked though. This was simply a business date, and sure, she could be childish when she wanted, but she knew how to act eloquent and reserved. After all, she was the master of masking the real her, so it was no big deal.

She kept her makeup light and simple. A bit of a cat eye, nothing too dramatic. She decided to wear fake lashes tonight, but horrible thoughts kept crossing through her head? What if they fell out and into her dinner? Gross.

Her lips were almost ruby red. A bit of bronzer, nothing serious. She silently thanked god for natural beauty, that way, she didn't have to go all out making sure she looked sexy.

She put her hair up in a neat bun, letting a few pieces hang loose. She curled them. When she looked in the mirror, she gasped, her heart pounding. She looked beautiful.

The dress clung to all her curves and showed a lot of skin, it wasn't trashy, though. She scowled at that word. Was Inuyasha saying that she looked trashy everyday?

She quieted her thoughts immediately, the less she thought of Inuyasha, the better off she was. She needed to calm down, she knew she could pull this shit off. But dealing with his smart remarks the whole night...she just wasn't sure that she could handle it. If he wanted her to act eloquent, he'd have to be a gentleman, or at least stop criticizing every fucking thing she did at least for tonight.

Her stomach was still doing flip flops as she put her evening gown on. She'd already tried it on before, but still, she was nervous to see herself in it.

It was...it was beautiful. She looked beautiful. The gown still fit the same. She almost looked graceful. She almost looked like a princess.

Hell, she did look like a princess.

Inuyasha was exactly on time, just a minute late. She braced herself for whatever he would say.

The night's breeze was soft on her skin, the wind gently caressing her. She slipped into the passenger's seat, heart thumping with anxiety. And he looked at her. He actually looked at her, not in hate, but in amazement.

She smirked. "Close your mouth, honey. You're catching flies."

He growled. Same old Higurashi.

"Now let's get this shit over with." Her red lips widened in a smile and Inuyasha sped off into the night.

XXXXX

Was he surprised when he first seen her? Yes. Kagome Higurashi had always been beautiful, but he didn't know she could be this beautiful.

Oh, she shouldn't have worn that dress. Not that she looked trashy (she looked indescribably sexy, amazingly beautiful, the list could go on), but she was practically begging him to pounce her. His hand rested at the small of her back, a scowl on his face. "You're moving too slow."

She looked back at him and rolled her eyes. "Your pace would match mine if you had these heels on, so cut the bullshit."

"Oh, fuck me-" she quickly cut him off.

"Already accomplished that, jerk."

He scoffed, shooting her a venemous look. "And I thought you could be eloquent and act like a lady for at least one night. Oh god, I thought wrong."

She laughed, immediately putting on a show as they made their way into the fancy mansion that Naraku resided in. "Just remember that _you_ said that."

He watched quietly as she worked her magic. As soon as she walked into the room, everyone froze, dropping what they were doing just to look at her. He watched as she greeted everyone with a smile and began making small talk, her laugh almost musical.

That face, that body...

He had to have her tonight.

"Mr. Takahashi," Naraku Onigumo was behind him, a hand on his shoulder. He immediately turned to shake his hand, a subtle smile on his face. In all honesty, he'd never cared much for Naraku. He was a rich prick who lived off his daddy's money, and he also had this thing for beautiful women. He'd have his way with them, with or without their say. Remind him why Kagome labeled him as a pig? "Is that your date over there?"

Naraku pointed to Kagome, this nasty smirk on his face that almost threatened to rip a growl from deep within his throat. Inuyasha simply nodded. He couldn't forget. This was business. "She's beautiful..." sick bastard. "Tell me, how'd you get so lucky, Mr. Takahashi?"

Inuyasha smiled anyway, this bastard was making him feel sick to his stomach. "Ah, call me Inuyasha."

Naraku paused for a second before a sinister smile crossed his lips. "Oh, yes. Of course. Now, you don't mind if I steal her away from you for a few minutes, now do you?"

Inuyasha smirked. "She's all yours."

He wanted to see if the bastard would try anything with Kagome, and if she would let him. She would still be his by the end of the night. His mission was to get her out of that gown and into his bed, her bed, whatever. She looked too good to resist.

He watched as Naraku stalked off slowly, watched as Kagome turned to acknowledge him with a bright smile. She agreed to a dance with him. He laughed as he saw Naraku's hands go to places that Kagome really wasn't comfortable with. He offered her a drink, she said no, and he watched, smirking.

He watched her the whole night, even when he was conversating, his eyes kept glancing back to her. Naraku was still following her around like a lost puppy, and he found this extremely amusing. There was finally one guy that Higurashi wouldn't fuck, what a surprise.

Sometime during the night, she had decided to take her shoes off. He noticed this as she walked towards him, his 'date.' There wasn't really much Inuyasha had to say. His old man was handling the big business. Now, him and his mother were out there dancing, actually enjoying themselves for once. He smiled.

"What's got you so happy?" Kagome asked, standing beside of him and taking a sip of wine. Inuyasha growled, snatched it from her and set it down on a table. And fuck, then he remembered he had to be nice, or at least a bit decent if he wanted her out of that gown tonight.

"I clearly remember telling you not to make an ass out of me." Inuyasha told her.

Kagome stuck her tongue out at him childishly, and for a second, he assumed her to be drunk. But the smell of alcohol wasn't really consuming her. Just her natural scent of vanilla and lavender. She was perfectly fine. Really, really fine.

Was it normal to he this attracted to someone you couldn't stand?

"That was my first glass, and for your information, I only took a few sips. I wish I had took more, though. Now, I'll ask you again, what has you so happy?" She asked him, seriously curious.

He smiled softly. "Mom and dad actually look happy."

Kagome sniffed. "Aren't they always?"

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "Well, they hardly ever get to spend anytime together due to work, so it's nice to see them out there looking so happy."

Kagome nodded, trying to make small talk. "Well, tonight's been better than I expected. Your mom is just as beautiful as I remember her. She's always been like a second mom to me. And your dad is such a great man. But...it would have been an even better night if that prick Naraku Onigumo would realize that his hands belonged to himself. He's...creepy. Why would your dad even want to do business with him?"

Inuyasha simply shrugged, his eyes focusing on his parents. She was right, Naraku was a creep.

"Uh, so...did Sesshomaru tell you about the wedding?" Kagome asked, feeling the tension get thicker. It was time to cut it down.

"I'm not going." Inuyasha told her, focusing his attention elsewhere. It took everything inside him not to give her a smart remark.

"Wait...but, he's your _brother_, Inuyasha." Kagome said, slightly confused. She knew that the two always hadn't had the best relationship, but family was family, right?

"Half-brother, Kagome. _Half_." Inuyasha repeated, his mood suddenly sour. Kagome frowned. Wait, did Kagome Higurashi just...frown? If he wanted to get into her panties tonight, he'd have to take a different approach. "Listen, I might. After all, Rin's a nice girl but she deserves better than that bastard. Me and Sesshomaru, we just don't get along. Never have."

Kagome laughed, another laugh that sounded musical. It pierced his ears, though. "I remember way back in the day. Back when we were actually friends..." okay, she shouldn't have said that. Shit. "Uh, anyway, y-you and Sesshomaru would always fight. I don't know, I was about nine or ten, you were maybe twelve? I think Sesshy was like, fourteen or fifteen. Those were the good days."

And...he was silent. He looked as if he was contemplating. But Kagome couldn't help it. Inuyasha looked good tonight. And she kind of wanted a re-run, despite the fact that he was still with Kikyo. Kikyo...

"Hey, Inuyasha?" Kagome asked, eyes sparkling. He looked at her and for a while, she forgot what she was going to say.

"Yeah?"

The place was slightly dimmed, and in her ears she should've been hearing chatter and music, but all she heard was the thumping of her heart and all she could see were his amber eyes. She did not love him. But she was lying to herself. She loved him but she couldn't stand him. How can you be so attracted to someone that you can barely stand?

"What happened with Kikyo? Are you two still together? You know, I figured you'd stay in the states with her, you two would work on your life together." Her eyes were filled with sorrow and he wondered why, but she closed them and smiled at him. "What about marriage? What about a family?"

"I don't believe in that-" Inuyasha started, but she interrupted him.

"But Kikyo..."

"I don't believe in it anymore. We broke up almost three weeks ago." He told her, eyes going downcast.

"Wait, what?" Kagome asked, suddenly alarmed. What if...what if they'd broken up because she found out? "_Why_?"

"It's definitely not what you're thinking. Just different lives, I guess. We weren't ready." Inuyasha told her simply, gripping her wrist gently and dragging her out to the space before them.

"C'mon, we've got to look good. This is the last dance, dinner will be served shortly after this," her heart would not shut up. He smirked, leaning down to whisper in her ear. "Let's pretend like we can actually stand each other..."

She smirked despite the thump her heart gave. "Let's."

Her arms immediately wrapped around his neck, either of his hands resting on the small of her back. People stared, people whispered, probably thinking they were the perfect couple, and this was the perfect moment. But this moment wasn't perfect for either of them, actually. Kagome was dancing with the jerk who she currently hated, the jerk who broke her heart. And Inuyasha was dancing with the girl he couldn't stand. Yet, something clicked.

The dance had ended quickly, both were thankful for that. Kagome had avoided looking at him completely throughout the whole little act.

Inuyasha was dragging her away from the crowd of people that surrounded them, complimenting her on how beautiful she looked, saying they made a beautiful couple, that they were a perfect pair. Kagome felt her heart breaking. Could this night get any worse?

"Inuyasha, what the hell? Where the fuck are you taking me?!" She exclaimed once she was sure no one was around.

She was looking at him as if he was crazy. They were on the second floor, and he was furiously trying to find a door that wasn't locked. He finally found one, a huge bedroom, and he pushed her inside, making her yelp, locking the door behind them and turning to look at her.

"Inuyasha..." she whispered softly. "W-what are you doing?"

He simply kissed her. Horrible mistake. Why did his demon howl every single time? He broke away from her, looked down at her to see her lips parted, eyes closed, cheeks flushed. The smell of her arousal began to drift upon his nose, and he growled into her neck, nearly ripping the gown with his claws.

"Woah, woah there. Hold up! What's all of this about?" She panted, trying to look angry.

"You should have never worn that damn dress, woman. It's simple. I want you, you want me." He told her, feeling himself pant as he began to kiss her neck.

"B-but...but Inuyasha! This is totally not simple," she pushed him away and he growled dangerously, making her roll her eyes. "Mkay, first of all, they're serving dinner in about ten minutes..."

"Which is why I was in a rush." He said with a conceited, jerkish smirk. She growled.

"Second of all, I'm really not interested in being called a whore by you. Third, this is NOT simple. We hate each other. The tension between us is already bad enough-"

He began kissing her neck once more. "Mmm, hating you makes it even better. And tension? More like sexual tension..."

"B-but Kikyo..." Kagome whispered.

"...you're my release..." Inuyasha muttered and she froze, closing her eyes. But she wanted this so bad. She wanted him so bad. And what he'd just said hurt, it hurt like hell. But she wanted more, she wanted more and more and more.

"Inuyasha...wait," he growled again. Her face was completely serious. "This is just sex. Nothing more. We don't act all weird after this little fuck-fest is over. No more tension. No catching feelings. This is just sex."

"Of course," he growled out. "So, wench, what's it gonna be? Yes or no?"

"No ripping my gown. This shit was expensive." Kagome told him strictly, and he ignored her completely.

He didn't shred it to pieces, though. She took her panties off quickly, tossing her bra and hitting him in the head with it. Inuyasha didn't seem to mind, though.

He climbed atop of her, his tie still wrapped around his neck. She smirked, yanking his lips down to meet hers. He thrust against her, making her let out a long moan, and then he growled, pulled away. Once again, his orbs had changed from their golden hue to a red one. "Fuck, Kagome, don't do that again."

Confused, she nodded slightly, even though she didn't understand. She'd never understand Inuyasha.

XXXXX

"Fuck," he panted, his body a sweaty mess next to hers.

Kagome honestly felt too tired to even say anything back.

"By the way, you can get up now. I don't like girls lingering around in my bed after we've fucked. I don't do that cuddling shit," Inuyasha snarled. Okay, he was back to hating her.

She could work with that. "At least give me time to catch my breath, you fucking jerk."

He simply snarled at her, getting up to put on his clothes. Okay, so this was the third time he fucked Kagome Higurashi, the second time he had fucked her while sober, and the first time she'd fucked him sober. This was no big deal. Him and Kikyo were done. He was stressed. He needed release and Kagome had just happened to be there.

Kagome was dressed, looking in the mirror to make sure her hair wasn't too messed up. "Shit, we're probably late for dinner."

He didn't say anything back, he just looked at her, contemplating...and fuck. The best realization he'd ever had came to him.

"Kagome," he started, trying to fix his tie, but struggleng with it. She looked at him expectantly. "Uh, I was just thinking. Okay, so we can't stand each other, we hate each other's guts, and it's highly impossible that we ever form any feelings towards each other. We have only one thing in common, we both like sex...so, you know..."

Kagome looked at him as if he'd gone mad. Inuyasha wanted a fuck-buddy? She'd totally be up for the offer if her big cousin didn't still love him, which she was sure she did. She'd totally be up for it if she didn't have fucking feelings for him...but she did, so...she couldn't. She couldn't do this.

She looked at him for a while. "I'm sorry, but no."

Inuyasha looked confused. She began to touch her hair up a bit, fix any smeared makeup. "Okay, the sex wasn't good enough for you, wench?"

Kagome smirked. Uh oh. Someone's ego had been bruised. "The sex was amazing. Like, some of the best sex I've ever had." She told him honestly.

"Then what the fuck?!" Oh, he was such an impatient little puppy.

"Listen, I really don't need anymore guys in my life. I have Kouga..."

"Who's marrying Ayame soon..."

Kagome groaned. "Look Inuyasha, Kikyo's my older cousin. And although we don't get along like we used to...if she found out, despite you two being together or not, she'd still be hurt. I don't want to hurt her. Fuck, those two times before we're big fucking accidents."

"I don't mean shit to Kikyo anymore..." Inuyasha told her, his voice rather rough and his eyes so sad.

"Inuyasha..." Kagome muttered, not sure what to do. She did love sex. They really were the perfect match. But wouldn't this deepen her feelings for him? How could you fuck someone that you meant nothing to? Wouldn't sex always be more for her?

She didn't know, she just didn't know.

"Inuyasha, I really don't know..." She told him honestly.

"At work tomorrow, meet me early. We can work something out..." Inuyasha told her seriously.

She nodded. Why was she even agreeing with this? Once they made sure they looked okay, Inuyasha gently grabbed her wrist and lead her out the room, shutting the door as quietly as possible.

Downstairs, everyone was sitting around the table. Kagome's eyes lit up. There was a variety of foods sitting around the table on fancy plates and dishes. Candles were lit, and the chatter around the table was absolutely friendly. There were more people than she expected. But wow, she could get used to these kinds of parties. Maybe this was the bright side to working her ass off for the jerk.

Izayoi and Inu no Taisho looked up at them expectantly. Izayoi spoke first, and Kagome freaked out when Inuyasha's dad gave him a look. Shit, couldn't he smell that they'd had sex or something like that? Fuck. They were screwed. "Aye, we've been wondering where the beautiful couple ventured off to," Izayoi smiled at the two of them. Did she know that this was all an act? Wouldn't they favor Kikyo being here in her place? "Where did you two sneak off too?"

Kagome went pale. Inuyasha growled lightly so only she could hear him. "Stop acting so suspicious. Just take a fuckin' seat and calm down."

And then he smiled at his mother. "Oh, Kagome wasn't feeling so good. Too much excitement for her, probably. So we went outside to get some fresh air, mother. No big deal."

Inuyasha took a seat next to Kagome, avoiding eye contact with his father. Yes, Inuyasha knew damn well that he was screwed. Fuck, why couldn't he have waited? "Oh, we were all just talking about what a beautiful couple you and little miss Kagome make. She's much better than that Kikyo."

Inuyasha closed his eyes, Kagome watched him carefully. So, his parents did know. There was sorrow in his eyes, pain when he smiled back at Izayoi. "Yes, mother. Of course."

Inu no Taisho cleared his throat.

Throughout the rest of dinner, Kagome was mostly silent. All of them were talking business now, which really, she knew nothing about. She only intervened when it was necessary, complimenting Takahashi Corp., lying and saying how much she enjoyed her job there and how great it was to be working for her boyfriend. Ha, boyfriend. Naraku didn't say another word to her.

Apparently, by the end of dinner, Inu no Taisho had closed the deal. They all shook hands, smiles on their faces. Izayoi seemed to be beaming with happiness, stars in her eyes, looking at her husband as if she was extremely proud of him.

By the end of the night she was tired and all she wanted to do was go home and sleep, she didn't even want to think about work tomorrow after what Inuyasha had said.

He opened the passengers door for her, still acting like the perfect gentleman in front of all his friends, co-workers, and all of the other rich snobs. Kagome had never felt so out of place in her whole life.

And then, he was looking at her. He shook his head, drove off. The whole car ride was silent, music playing quietly.

She wasn't even going to bother saying bye before she got out if the car. But he grabbed her. "Again," he demanded. "One more time before the night is over."

When had Inuyasha became such a fucking sex addict? No, that was already her position. "No. Did you see the way Inu no Taisho looked at us? He looked as if he was going to kill you, me too! And Inuyasha, we haven't even really thought this over, I thought we'd wait to see tomorrow, and..."

"Shut up, Higurashi," he growled. "I want it right here, right now."

Oh god, despite him doing anything, she felt liquid pool between her legs anyway.

She climbed atop of him, began kissing his neck, but being sure not to kiss him. She didn't want him bitching again. He growled. Fuck, this was the second time in one night. Oh god, when she told Sango would she kill her?

Kagome was too in a rush to even bother with the gown. She straddled his thighs, and without any warning, he growled, ripping her lacy panties off in one swift movement.

"Inuyasha!" she exclaimed, her face turning sour. "Those were my favorite pair!"

"Just shut the fuck up for once, okay?" he mumbled, fumbling with his pants. His cock sprang free of it's restraints, and with a snarl, he gripped his dick and ground it against her wetness, making her moan quietly. "That's a good girl."

Kagome growled. "You're really killing my vibe. How about we both be quiet?"

He smirked before grounding his dick against her pounding clit. She needed him inside of her right now. Maybe this whole enemies with benefits could be a good idea. After all, it made things hotter. He ground the head of his dick against her clit a few more times, and she moaned out, about to explode.

"Fuck, don't be a tease," she panted out into one dog ear before rubbing on it, making him growl and thrust against her. "There you go..." She moaned.

He thrust inside of her, and she waisted no time in helping him fuck her senseless. She bounced on his dick, rode it like she was doing this private little dance for him and only for him. His grip on her hips tightened and her head lolled back, her lips parting for a loud cry to be let out. He thrust up hard into her every time she bounced down, and the car was filled with their sounds.

Inuyasha felt as if he was in heaven. Little Kagome Higurashi had growed, and with growing came learning. Oh, she had definitely learned and she'd learned good. But god, she was so tight, and wet as the ocean. And hell, he was swimming in the ocean, diving deep.

Kagome, Kagome, Kagome.

God, why hadn't they tried this before? And the best part about this was the fact that he couldn't summon any feelings for her. Why had Kagome even rejected this idea in the first place?

"Shit," he allowed himself to cry out. "I'm close. A-are you on the pill?"

She just fucked him harder, managing a smirk as she rode his dick. "I'm on the shot."

Good, no, great. Because in that very moment, he came. She was so tight, she was milking every single last drop of his orgasm. Greedy little bitch, she bounced a couple more times before she tossed her head way back, a scream nearly torn from her lips.

And then, she did the worst thing possible. Obviously sleep-deprived, she fell against him, completely exhausted and still panting for her life.

He was panting, too, but he managed to push her off and she glared at him. "You jerk. You fuck me senseless and expect me not to be tired? I'm not like you, asshole!"

"Yeah, yeah. Still, you know how I feel about that."

She groaned when she pulled away from him, still panting. That...that was amazing. Much better than Kouga, Bankotsu, and probably Hojo, too. Actually, that was the best she'd had.

Straightening her dress out, she got out, blowing him a kiss through the window and making him scowl, which made her laugh.

"I'll see you in the office tomorrow. I'll be early, so be expecting me, jerk!"

He watched the way her ass swayed in that dress as she walked up to her apartment building.

Yeah, mission accomplished.

**A/N: Sorry this took forever! I'm so mad at myself. I was supposed to be doing a lot of writing over the summer, but you won't believe how lazy I've gotten. The only reason I'm posting this right now is because I decided to skip out from a day of school today. Guys, I hope you all don't hate my guts. I started 10th grade this year, and shit got real. No more fucking around with my grades. But I'm not going to let y'all down, if I make a story I'm going to finish it.**

**To be honest, I'm copying and pasting this thing off my iPod right now because I'm too lazy to start up my computer. So, I'll probably be posting up chapters from my iPod now, so I'm sorry if I couldn't look over all mistakes. I'm not perfect. And no, I don't think I'm losing inspiration. It's just that I'm busy and I have so much shit to worry about. I've already finished two more chapters to this, now I've got to work on All I Need. I had the chapter and everything, and it magically deleted off my iPod. But I'm not giving up. I'm just so busy and hopefully I can make some time. But I love this story and I won't give up on it, I have so much planned for it.**

**Please read and review. Tell me if you hated it, tell me if you loved it. I get a lot of reviews and you guys will be hearing from me extremely soon. I love all of y'all, and thanks for reading and staying with me this long. I hope to see you all again soon! (:**


	7. Desperately, Passionately

Once upon a long time ago, in a land far, far away, if you would have ever told Kagome that Inuyasha, the guy she had been in love with ever since she was twelve would be fucking her in her apartment, on the counters in her kitchen, to be exact, she would have laughed in their face. But nontheless, here she was, her legs spread wide for him as he pounded into her, her moans louder than they'd ever been in her whole life.

Things had been moving fast. Things were breaking her heart and she always had shitty days, that was a usual thing. It had been three weeks now since she'd been working for him, and it was hell. "No more sex in the office," he'd told her one time when they'd been deeply in the moment, her affection for him growing. She'd been kissing his neck like the needy little bitch she was, pulling roughly at his tie as if she was clinging to it for her life, one hand already running down his chest and fumbling with the latch on his belt, and he'd broken away from her just like that. She'd asked why, but he had never bothered to tell her.

Most of the time, they had wild sex in her apartment. On the floor. The couch, even though she didn't like fucking on the couch. On her bed. In the kitchen, like now. Sometimes, they had wild sex in his apartment. But not a lot, he always came up with the silly idea that she'd want to stay. Like she'd ever want to sleep in the same bed with the guy who broke her heart. It was bad enough sleeping by herself with a broken heart.

His claws were digging into her hips, and they were nowhere near making love. But every touch was fire in her veins, and when she dared herself to look into his eyes, something about him made her feel like she was going to disappear, or maybe burst into flames. This happened all the time, the sad realization that this would always be more for her.

But she supposed she was lucky. She was in Kikyo's place, exactly where she wanted to be. She had him between her legs. But she wasn't exactly where she wanted to be, which was in his heart. In his arms, smothered by his affection. His heart was Kikyo-shaped, not Kagome-shaped. And she was nothing but a distraction, something she'd got used to being. A distraction to Kouga, to take a break from the crazy Ayame. A distraction to Bankotsu, who desired sex and only sex. A distraction to any of her other lovers. But Hojo came to mind, and she didn't know what to say.

She used to think about him when she thought she could be something, when she wanted to be something. When she wanted to make herself proud. You know, a nice, quiet boy. A heart with the size of the whole world who didn't love her for what he knew she had to offer, but simply for what and who she was. She wanted to see herself fall in love and be able to tell someone that she loved them and actually mean it. But after their night, he probably hated her, and she couldn't blame the poor guy. She'd never paid him any attention, too busy sulking over Inuyasha. Too busy worried with him. And he'd loved her, he'd really loved her.

She lost the high that Inuyasha had helped her accomplish. She descended from heaven so quickly and reality came slamming back down on her so hard she thought she might cry. He must've sensed this, because he slowed considerably and she silently thanked him. Every time she fucked him she was wrestling with demons from her past. She was so, so sad. In all ways.

She smirked, put on her award winning face that always made her get her way. If only eyes couldn't hold emotions. "I lost it," she told him simply.

She'd done this before so many times. He'd get angry, pull his clothes back on and slam the door when he left. How tired she was of men grabbing her, taking what they felt was theirs. She was tired of men who never called and who slammed the doors when they made their exit. She was too young to feel like this. She should stop this thing with him, but she couldn't. This was the closest she'd ever been to him. She knew all things came to an end, and she didn't want to think about the day that this ended. But it should. It had to. And if she had the balls to end this, that would be strength and courage.

Oh, how strength and courage depended on one another.

But real Kagome always got in the way, always wanted out. The real Kagome, with real hopes and dreams and goals. The real Kagome who smiled like she meant it and loved whole-heartledly. The real Kagome who would have never degraded herself like this. The real Kagome who knew what self-respect was. The real Kagome who had time for her family, who didn't sit in the bathtub at three in the morning crying so hard until she laughed. The real Kagome who was okay. More than okay, actually happy.

She remembered happiness, and she missed it the most. Why did happiness have to be such a temporary thing? Happiness was seeing everyone in love, but you didn't need anyone to love you, you were in love with everything. A song, a book, his eyes, God, your family. She remembered tossing her head back and laughing genuinely. She remembered sneaking out with her friends, getting drunk. She remembered the age of fifteen. It was such a sweet, sweet age, and she had taken advantage of every second of it. The boys, the flowers, the kisses, the smell of pot hanging heavily in the air. Dark fingernail polish and holding smokes between her slender fingers, heart hurting from the inside out. And she dug deeper and found the reason why there was this pain in her heart. And she saw with wide eyes and an open mind that it was Inuyasha. It had always been Inuyasha. And then, she wasn't free.

"I'm sorry," she pushed away from him, giving him a small smile, heart hurting. "Uh, you should go. I'll see you Monday. All your paperwork should be finished. Send those files this weekend and I can check-"

She was surprised when he cut her off. Not with words, but with his mouth, with his tongue. And she couldn't help it, she pressed back against him, all thoughts flying out of her head. And everything was so perfect as he traced his fingertips over her frame, making her shudder with such intensity she'd never felt before. They hardly ever kissed. He'd told her that he didn't like to kiss her. And here he was.

He was panting and he quickly took his lips off hers, and his sharp K9's traced along her collarbone, nipping at the soft skin of her neck. With both hands and his mouth still against her, he parted her legs, pushing her knees far apart. His hand trailed down, slipped between her bare folds, massaged them, his thumb pressing against her clit. She thrashed in her very spot, emitting a loud moan, and she felt him moan against her, his mouth against her cheek. And he was smirking.

She pushed him away, eyes challenging. "Listen, I told you, I lost it. So leave. Don't worry. I'll be right there in that damned office Monday as usual. So goodnight and goodbye, Inuyasha."

Before he could say a word to her, she stood to her feet, angry and frustrated and quite pissed at herself from breaking away from something that felt so good just because her stupid feelings had decided to intervene, damn it.

She was waiting for a door to slam. She rolled her eyes, jumped in the shower, rubbing at her skin until it was red, just to get his scent off of her so she wouldn't have to stay up all night, analyzing everything that had ever happened with him. She washed her hair, washed the sweat off her body. She wanted to feel new, she wanted to feel refreshed. She thought of Hojo once more. He made her feel like that, but there was no spark. Even if she couldn't find it, she decided it was better to be miserable with someone who loved her rather than be in love with someone who could never love her. Which one was worse?

Her shower was long. It gave her some time to think, to think about her feelings for him and think about why the hell they wouldn't go away no matter how badly he treated her. She couldn't think of a damn reason why. He only treated her so badly because she let him. For once, she wanted respect. And she knew she definitely wouldn't get that from sleeping with him. It was just a fuck to him. Plus, he knew that she'd gotten around since high school. That didn't help to make the situation any better. She frowned.

She knew there was something wrong with her. She thought of these things as she massaged strawberry shampoo into her scalp, and rinsed. How she wished she could rinse him away. But god, she was so fucked up. All she wanted was real love and not from just anyone, but him, preferably. Back in high school that's all she searched for. But even if she knew certain guys were only going to fuck her and never call back, she'd still fuck.

She'd known Inuyasha as long as she could remember. She'd grown up with Kikyo, with Sango, with Miroku, with Inuyasha. The mean kid. The weird one. The hanyou who was worthless, who didn't deserve to even exist. She remembered all the things people had always said about him. He's an abomination, he doesn't even deserve to be alive, he's polluting our air, choking us, taking all of our oxygen. He's a murderer, he's a liar, he will never amount to anything. He's no good, and he's a monster. His mother's no better, either, she knew of the damned creature she'd create and she'd chosen to keep it. I'll see you in Hell one day, little boy, you disgusting creature. Fuck you, you don't belong here. You didn't deserve to be born. Piece of shit.

Kagome had never believed any of those things. She remembered Kikyo's whispers in her ear. Her supposed closest cousin. Then why did Kikyo feel so far away? "I believe the things they say about him, Kagome. You can see it in his eyes."

Kagome was a strong girl back then. If her child self would have saw her right now, she'd laugh into her face for being as easy as she was, giving into pressure, giving men her body, men who didn't deserve her body.

Kagome remembered pushing Kikyo away. Befriending Yasha. Maybe it was the worst decision she'd ever made. It had changed. Kikyo caught his attention suddenly one day when Kagome had to remind herself that Inuyasha wasn't an angel, just a best friend. Kikyo had to catch his attention right when she needed him the most. Right when she realized how much it would hurt to lose him. And, fuck, the shit had hurt. Kikyo had tried, though. She'd never been very fond of the idea of her innocent baby cousin having feelings for Inuyasha. It wasn't like she'd told Kikyo. Her cousin could always see right through her, that's what it was.

"Damn it, you're taking too fucking long! Are you dead in there or somethin'?! Wench, you've been really pissing me off," Inuyasha's voice, and she didn't even jump, just simply rolled her eyes as her heart thudded in her chest. He'd waited..."this is like the third time you've done this shit! You find it fucking funny or somethin', considering the fact that you haven't let me finish in forever? Well goddammit, I'm going to have my way with you tonight."

She peeked her head out from behind the shower curtain to give him a frustrated look, she definitely didn't feel like sleeping around tonight. But then, she took him in completely, losing herself in those eyes.

His skin was slightly perspired with sweat, his hair a little damp from their ministrations earlier. His skin was golden, almost gleaming. His silver hair matted to his scalp, sticking up in a few places, though. His shoulders and abs flexed as he took a deep breath. He'd put those baggy pants on, a trail of silver hair leading right down to his crotch. He was so toned, so tanned, so strong. He was slightly thin, but not to the point where he looked weak. His face obviously made everyone who looked at it realize that god had took his precious time making him the gorgeous creature he was.

She squeezed her thighs together, trying to ignore the heat she felt rushing to her core and the powerful throb it gave. She just couldn't do this right now.

She was done with her shower, but she started shampooing her hair again, her heart beating out of her chest and she could almost feel him smirking.

She closed her eyes and sighed lightly when she felt him behind her. He pressed his hard against her ass, and against her own will, she felt herself back up against him, wanting him more than ever. He was angry, she could tell. "It's not gonna fix itself, wench," he told her softly, thrusting lightly against her and smirking into her neck when she threw her head back against him, letting out a delicious moan.

This was the first time they'd ever did anything in the shower. Why hadn't she thought about this before?

She felt his hand caressing her breasts, fingertips pinching her nipples, and he groaned like the horny dog she knew he was. She would have rolled her eyes right now if he wasn't causing her such pleasure. His hand slipped down her stomach, between her thighs, and then he was working magic.

It wasn't like she wanted to moan, it wasn't like she wanted to have her form molded against his. He turned her around quickly, sure not to kiss her lips that were just parting for a cry to escape them. His hands rested on her backside, giving it a firm squeeze before he gripped her thighs. He didn't have to wrap her legs around him, they already were.

He growled when she took his shoulder into her mouth. She was so gorgeous. Her hair was even darker if possible, her face twisted into an expression of pure pleasure as she eagerly guided him inside of her, almost too eagerly. He gave a few hectic thrusts, deciding that the penetration just wasn't deep enough, although she seemed to thoroughly enjoy it. He licked the side of her cheek, his breath just a pant in her ear.

She didn't exchange any words back as dropped her, put her to her feet gently, growled and told her to turn around, bend over. She quickly agreed with his idea. She held on tight. This was so, so exotic. Water splashing against her face, bent over as she heard him groan behind her. She never knew she could ever want him like this. She should've fucked him in the shower long ago.

The first thrust he gave was so deep that she cried out his name, and he sweetly groaned hers, making her heart jump.

And then he was pounding inside of her, easily setting a pace. She cried out, wishing she could grip on to his long, long hair. She almost slipped, he growled and caught her fall, his claws digging into her hips. She groaned in pleasure at the sharp twinge of pain. What was she, a masochistic? This was what Inuyasha did to her, how crazy he made her.

Silver hair made a curtain around them and Kagome swore she'd never loved someone so much as she cooed, urging him to increase in speed, in how hard he took her. He growled her name, making her heart jump once more. She gripped on tight to the shower walls, water making it difficult to hold on, just hold on. But she wanted him. She wanted a real fuck, she wanted him to fuck her with all he felt for her. Hate, so be it. But didn't he love her, too? It was a long time ago but they had been close and they had meant the world to each other. And yet, he was so far away, even though he was pounding inside of her, his claws digging into her hips and drawing blood.

"You want me bad, Kagome," he panted into her ear as he gave her a hard thrust. She closed her eyes, tossing her head back. He had no idea how much she wanted him and he never would. She wanted his soul in his fuck. How much for his soul, anyway? She'd pay millions.

She whimpered, but she didn't stop him. He was angry, obviously. He had shown up to her apartment angry and said that he needed her right at that moment, if he couldn't have her she'd be fired. She felt as if she was sleeping with him just to succeed in her current career. It wasn't something she was proud of, but it was something she'd gotten used to. And she loved him and she wanted it to go away and never come back.

She was in pain, now, and she felt everything and she still felt so good at the same time. "Fuck," she allowed herself to cry out. His claws were covered with her blood now, and he was thrusting in and out of her quickly and roughly as if he was trying to show her exactly how much he hated her. You know the most fucked up thing about this? She loved it even if it would never last. She loved him even though he would laugh in her face if he knew.

Her hips were sore, her legs going numb. Wet skin slapping hard against hers, panting and groaning and feeling and expirmenting. God, she felt like a teenager again. Unbuttoned jeans and sneaky hands, smoke between her fingers, burning herself to hell as fast as she could because it was the only thing she'd ever known.

Wet kisses and the fondeling of her breasts, heart beating with pain, the feeling of having no purpose. Screams and moans and things that delighted her, the things that sex was made of.

This was his fuck. She'd wanted him to fuck her like how he felt, and he felt hate. "You...you and her are just alike." He panted, his breath heavy in her ear. She whimpered, sliding back into him roughly.

"I-I'm nothing like her."

He let out a dark chuckle, climaxed inside of her and let her fall to her knees just like that. "But you are."

"I'll never be like her. Never. You don't know what I've been through," her voice was shaky, eyes closed as water streamed down her face, blending in with hot tears that she hoped he couldn't smell. She hated him. But she couldn't lose this job. She didn't love Inuyasha Takahashi. How could she?

Her voice was trembling from her orgasm, and he stepped out of the shower before she did. Taking a deep breath and getting herself together, she stood to her shaky legs and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around her naked body, giving herself a look in the mirror. She looked horrible. She frowned at her reflection because she looked so used-up. The look suited her well, she assumed.

She had been waiting to hear a door slam while she sat on the edge of the tub, brushed her teeth, prepared to get ready for bed. Instead, she heard him in the living room cursing. She peeked her head out and watched as he ran a hand through his wet silver hair, a frustrated look taking over his whole face as he looked out the window.

"Goddammit," he cursed quietly, pacing around for a while. Kagome couldn't help being enchanted by him. His baggy jeans hung loose on his hips, and he didn't have a shirt on. He looked slightly like a wet dog, but still very attractive. This was why she hated her life.

And then she realized what he was so upset about. There was a loud roar of thunder, the lights flickered for a second. She hated storms.

She towel-dried her hair, threw on an old pair of tight shorts and a loose, baggy t-shirt. Her hair was a mess. It was all over her face, a dark cascade of curls. Oh well. She didn't care. It was only Inuyasha. What reason did she have to pretty up when he didn't even care about her appearance unless he had to unwillingly drag her to one of his stupid little business parties? Plus, no one could ever compare to Kikyo.

"You can't stay here tonight," she told him as she walked right past him without even giving him a look. She reminded herself that she'd be thankful for it later on down the road. "Better call Sango or Miroku and let one of them come pick you up."

Inuyasha growled, shooting the wench a look which was obviously the wrong thing to do, because looking at her just seemed to make the whole situation even worse, but she was stunning. It was almost 1 in the morning and there were bags under her eyes and she still managed to look gorgeous. But then the scent hit him.

Her scent was always enticing, spicy when she was aroused, but always sweet. So when he smelled the metallic scent of blood clinging to her, he growled once more, realizing how he'd taken his anger out on her during their little tango in the shower.

"I wasn't planning on it," he told her softly. She had her back turned to him, at the kitchen counter pouring herself a glass of water. He enclosed her, sniffing at her noisily.

"What's the big deal?" She glared at him. "Uh, you're supposed to be out of here already."

He shook his head. "I didn't mean to hurt you, you should've told me," he ran a tanned hand through his damp, silver hair, looking away guiltily and awkwardly. "I...uh, I'm sorry..." Oh, the regret on his face as soon as he said those words.

She froze, turned around to meet his eyes. "You...you're...sorry? Did Inuyasha Takahashi just tell me that he was actually sorry? He finally realized that he did something wrong, that he screwed up?" She gave him a nasty smirk and he growled at her.

"Listen, you don't have to be a smartass. I was just trying to-"

"And you don't have to compare me to the love of your life everytime we fuck, nor do you have to hurt me just because she said something to you that broke your pathetic heart." Kagome snapped back, turning back around. "You're sick." She shot at him, avoiding his eyes because it would hurt too much. Fuck, she'd really fucked up this time. She hadn't meant for that to come out.

"You could never compare to her," he shot at her haughtily, daring her to turn around and meet his eyes. "You two are similar, both bitches, just like I said before. But her beauty, her grace, her ambition? You could never be her, Higurashi. Just the little cousin who was never better, who was never prettier, who never got enough attention. Now, you open your legs to any man just to get that attention you want."

His words hit her harder than she expected them to. She was supposed to be used to this by now, but she wasn't. Hot tears were on her cheeks by the time she got the courage to face him. She let him see that words were gold, that they were precious and that they hurt, too. "You're such a goddamn bastard, you know? If I don't sleep with you, if I don't give you what you want, I'm fired. And I try so hard, you know? Because I'm independent, that's one thing I dare you to say I'm not. I don't need anyone who doesn't need me and I'm supporting myself just fine. I'm not Kikyo nor do I ever want to be."

"But you're just like her!" Inuyasha proclaimed, eyes flashing red. This bitch pissed him off to the point of no return and she got under his skin so easily, and he couldn't quite figure out why.

She could have smacked him but she didn't do anything but stand there and stare at him in shock. She shook her head and laughed bitterly, turning around, fresh tears still streaming down her pink cheeks. She took a sip of her water and pulled herself back together once again. Funny, she'd been having to pull herself back to pieces so many times now that he was back home.

Her voice was strong and firm when she spoke. "I could say a lot of things about you, Takahashi. I could call you a half-breed, an abomination. You remember back when we were kids? You remember how we were best friends, how you had no one else? How everyone judged you but me? Yeah, thanks for returning the favor. And by the way, I don't open my legs for attention. I get plenty of attention without doing that. But that's how I live my life, and frankly, how I live my life is none of your fucking business. Don't forget to shut the fucking door on your way out."

He watched her stumble into her bedroom, eyes still damp from the words he'd said and probably from the pain she felt in her hips. He shook his head to himself, letting her words sink in without any intentions. He'd hurt her, physically and emotionally.

Fuck, the storm was getting worse. Outside, the rain was so heavy that it seemed to shake the whole apartment, or maybe he was shaking from anger. He didn't know. It pounded on the roof and shook him from the inside-out, and he suddenly felt guilty. It was new moon. He could feel himself growing weaker, emotions weighing him down. And if he didn't heal the cuts he'd left on her skin, he'd have to do it later. But that was the problem. She wouldn't want to be near him, but he felt obligated to help her physical pain even if he couldn't help with her emotional pain. Whatever she was upset about before, he'd certainly made it twice as worse, he could hear her held-back cries from the bedroom.

The lights flickered again and he felt conflicted. If he stayed and helped her, he might now have been getting home at all. He really did feel like a jerk, though, so he sighed and knocked on the door.

All crying stopped abruptly and when she opened the door for him, her eyes were red and puffy and damp and held so many volumes of emotion that he cringed at the sight of those big brown eyes that were usually so happy.

She didn't say anything, just crawled back on the bed. "You can sleep on the floor. It's getting pretty bad out there."

He smirked. "The floor, really?"

"Well," she spoke, her voice extremely soft, "I definitely wouldn't take that couch as an option considering all the acts that have been performed on it. And plus, the floor kinda seems to suit you better."

He chuckled darkly, sitting on the edge of the bed. Her room was neat, clean, organized. But it reminded him of a teenage girl's bedroom, it always did. Her walls were lavender, she hung up lights around her bed, and most of the time, candles were always burning. They supposedly helped to 'relax' her. She had various posters and pictures hung up on her walls, and her bed frame was white, the sheets on her bed were a darker purple with pink stripes. Would Higurashi ever grow up?

He sighed. "Listen, like I said, I'm sorry. I got a little too carried away."

She scoffed, folding her arms under her breasts. "Yeah, you did. It hurts like a bitch, by the way, Takahashi. Thanks a great deal."

He simply rolled his eyes at her immaturity and sarcasm, and in seconds he was tugging at her shorts.

She gasped and squirmed away from him in protest, and he growled. "Listen, bitch. If I don't help you now, your wounds could get infected. You don't want that, do you?"

Mouth agape and big brown eyes even wider, she shook her head slowly and watched him cautiously, flinching and wincing when he pulled her shorts down as if she was scared he was going to hurt him. Was it because she knew that was all he was good for? Was it because she knew he was a monster? No, he shook his head. Kagome was the one person who'd never betrayed him. Sure, they didn't have a friendship anymore and maybe they hated each other, but she'd never judge him. She'd seen the things he'd been through, she had been there through almost everything..

And as he tentatively stuck a tongue out to lick languidly at her wounds, hoping his demon was strong enough at least for right now to help her, he thought of guilt. Wasn't it a universal emotion that somehow connected everyone? Didn't it make people come together? Well, he felt it more than anything else right now all because of this damn new moon. Felt guilt for comparing her to Kikyo, felt guilt for all the petty shit he'd done to her and he felt as if he needed to make up for it.

Dammit, he had to get away.

But he didn't. Things got hot and heavy when the sweet scent of her arousal hit him full on. Wasn't she always wet for him, though? Why was it so okay for them to fuck but hate each other at the same time?

Kagome barely noticed that the licking had turned to kissing, barely even noticed as he slipped her panties down, barely even noticed the way her hands automatically reached to grasp into his long, silver hair for her own life as she let out a scream as soon as his tongue entered her already wet entrance. Legs spread wide, she let him devour her and then some more.

Face breaking out into a sweat, her knuckles turned white from her grip on the bed sheets. She'd switch every so often to pulling his hair to gripping the sheets, because she didn't want to hurt him by pulling at his scalp. Her moans shamed her, but they were almost louder than the thunder outside that seemed to shake her whole apartment, that seemed to shake her up inside.

"W-what are you doing?" she practically screamed out. She hadn't been expecting this.

His tongue ran slowly up and down her clit, making her shiver. Lightning striked. Thunder bellowed and lights flickered when he looked up too meet her eyes, the smirk on his lips was devilish. His darkened eyes told her that he was sorry, and she cooed.

Cooed, cried out, moaned, screamed out his name when the time was right. The rain seemed to pour even harder outside, and she knew that this was wrong. So, so wrong, and what was even worse was the fact that she hadn't told anyone anything. She hadn't told anyone that it hurt even more to have a half of him because she wanted the whole of him so desperately.

Desperate. She pulled at his hair anyway, hips bucking up into his face.

Passionate. He stopped, laid on his back, his erection jutting thick and proud into the air. She crawled atop of him, dark hair tickling his cheeks as she kissed and licked and nipped at his neck. "I'm not done with you," he breathed out.

Bravery. She wanted to try something new. Laying her wetness atop of his mouth, he knew exactly what to do. She rode his tongue until she saw stars, until he took her to the clouds, to the moon, to Jupiter, Pluto, Venus, and as he took her back down to earth.

When she thought she couldn't handle pleasure anymore, he proved her wrong. Careful of her wounds, he grabbed her hips and positioned her exactly where he wanted her to be. Moaning probably from pleasure and exasperation, she eagerly guided his length inside of her, slammed down so hard she saw stars once more.

And then, she started moving. "Fuck," he cursed, gripping on to her hips for his dear life. Sweat began to form at his brow and when he opened his eyes, his sweet little vixen was right on top of him, using him. "Fucking use me all you want, just like that."

She bit her lip and her head lolled back with a jerk, and she roughly gripped her own breast, massaging it just as roughly as she moaned for him and only him. As she moved for him, as she cried out for him. "U-use me. C'mon," he cried out. No one had ever made him cry out the way Higurashi did, and he hated her so much for that.

And she was wet, wet as the fucking ocean. And she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen as she used him. It pleasured him, the thought of her using him. And they were wild for the night.

She moved faster, obviously nearing her climax. And he was nearing his, too. He thought about the thunder and the rain, and how she was right here, keeping him warm from it all. He shot up, smashed his mouth against hers and something exploded inside of him when she screamed into his mouth. And with one final and extremely hard thrust into her hips, something really did explode. He fell back, feeling as if he'd fallen to pieces. And she fell atop of him, breathing harder than she'd ever breathed in her life.

Maybe it wasn't so bad, the fact that she was here with him keeping him warm from the things outside, from the things that hurt him, as he kept her warm from Kikyo. His phone was ringing, and he knew it was her.

Lightning struck, lights went off, but he stayed where he was.

"Don't you dare move," Kagome hissed, having already made herself comfortable in this position. "I'll fucking murder you, Takahashi."

He could feel himself growing weaker into something he didn't want to be, and he didn't want to share this moment with Kagome, of with anybody. He felt himself getting tired. She'd worn him out. He hated to admit it, but he was sure he couldn't handle her ferocity in his human state.

Claws disappeared, silver hair turned as dark as night, icy, golden, amber chips turned into a color almost similar to hers. And she was watching intently, he could feel it.

So he looked at her tiredly, the thought that she was just like Kikyo stuck in his head. But she didn't look at him in disgust, her eyes told him that she understood, that she wasn't judging him. Maybe she wasn't what he thought her to be.

"Stay with me, please." She told him quietly.

No, she didn't mesh her body with his. But she held on to him tightly, and he didn't know whether it was because she felt scared or because she knew he needed comforting when he was like this. But she held him all night and she didn't let go.

And she was keeping him warm from Kikyo.

He thought he loved her for a minute, but it was just a thought.

Higurashi? Hell no.

But still, she kept him warm, and for the first time in a while, he didn't have to toss and turn to get himself to sleep.

**XXXXX**

He woke up to the sound of his phone going off beside of him. But he didn't want to move, he felt warmer than he'd ever been. Sunlight was pouring through the blinds, finally making him open his eyes. He felt something on his skin as soft as feathers, and when he finally gave recognition to what it was, he rolled out of the bed in a hurry and landed on the cold wooden floor with a loud thump. But he wasn't a weak human anymore. He was back to the strong hanyou he'd always been.

"Shit," he cursed, looking up at Kagome in alarm. She was still sleeping peacefully, thank god. He hurriedly reached for his phone, looking to see who was calling him in a mad rush.

Kikyo.

Gulping, his heart sped up for a while as he stared at her name on his phone. Her picture, still beautiful as ever and still frozen in his mind.

"Hello?" he whispered as quietly as he could, quickly pulling on his jeans and throwing his shirt on. Cursing to himself, he quietly closed Kagome's bedroom door, almost tripping over his jeans as he snuck into the living room.

"Inuyasha?" Kikyo had the voice of an angel when she wasn't arguing with him all the time. Her voice still held emotion and he rubbed at his eyes with his free hand, deciding that it was way too early in the morning for her to have his heart starting and stopping the way it was.

"Yeah, I'm here," he told her in an extremely hushed voice. Fuck, he could practically smell her curiosity and she was about 3,000 miles away from him. His heart clenched as he felt a wave of nostalgia rush over him. She was the closest thing to home he'd ever have but she couldn't be his everything anymore. Things never worked out. "What's up?"

"Why don't you tell me what's up. You sound alarmed, and hushed. What're you doing, Inuyasha?" He heard Kikyo ask this with volumes of emotion in her voice and he couldn't help but roll his eyes. He pulled up his jeans the rest of the way, looking out of the window, distracted.

What would she do if she found out about Kagome?

"I just woke up. I'm tired. What else do you want to know, Kikyo?" He asked her rather rudely. But she should know that he'd never been a person, never had been one for interrogations, either.

"I...I just wanted to know. I-I didn't call for an argument, okay?" he heard her sigh deeply, her voice suddenly turning sad. "Listen, I just really, really miss you. And I wanted you to know that. I...Yash, you know how I feel."

Of course he knew. Because she was just like him, she didn't know how to say what she felt. And that's why they never got along, but it made them keep trying. Made them never want to give up on each other. But she broke his heart and he broke hers. So in a twisted way, he kinda thought they deserved each other.

But if she knew about Kagome...

But Kagome was not Kikyo. Kikyo wasn't self-destructive, Kikyo made mistakes but she accepted them. Kikyo respected herself, Kikyo was beautiful in every single aspect. Kikyo didn't drink and drink until she couldn't think, Kikyo didn't give things up so easily. Kikyo knew where she was going in life and Kikyo...he loved her.

"I miss you too," he mumbled into his phone, eyes closed and heart beating slowly as he let the feelings consume him like they always did. "I love you."

"Inuyasha," she whispered, voice emotional. He felt honored to make the strong Kikyo break down into pieces for him. "Yash, I love you too. You know that, right? Just...please don't do what I think you're doing."

His eyes shot open and he growled, the sound emanating deep from within his chest. And then he caught himself, realizing that Kagome was still asleep and that he had no intentions of waking her up. That way, he could leave without a word, show her that he regretted everything that happened last night because he did. And it was supposed to be that way and it always would, because he could fall in love with the face of death before he ever fell in love with the other Higurashi girl.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" He asked angrily and quietly, his teeth gritted together, fangs baring.

He expected her to come back hard because she was Kikyo and that's what she did. She came back as hard as she could to prove to him that she'd never be below him, that she'd never be the one to be intimidated by him. But her voice was weak and he suddenly felt like he was losing her. "Who're you fucking, Inuyasha? I know you, I know when you're lying and when you're keeping something a secret, I know how you are. So enlighten me, please."

"I'm not fucking nobody," he said with a growl. "Why're you asking all these fucking questions? Why do you think I've been fucking someone just because my voice quieter than usual? Maybe I didn't fucking expect you to call. Maybe I didn't expect you to tell me that you fucking miss me. Fuck, am I loud enough for you now, Kikyo?"

He had forgotten that Kagome had been sleep. When she walked into the room, standing quietly where the door was with her arms folded under her breasts, he didn't even notice her.

He heard her sigh. She didn't sound like Kikyo and guilt rushed through his whole body. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry, alright? Would it be better if I asked you how things are going?"

He found himself tapping his foot impatiently. Both her and her fucking cousin aggravated him to no end. "I'm doing fine, but Kikyo-"

He wanted to get off the phone. Stop her from breaking his heart, and then he thought about how warm Kagome was last night. How she'd made it all go away, and he wanted to be back in her arms, fucking her how he felt again.

This was not an addiction, she was not an addiction, but admitting that to himself scared him.

"I've been good, what about-" Inuyasha asked, only to be cut off.

"How's Kagome doing?" Kikyo asked.

Inuyasha sighed, wondering why the topic had changed to Kagome so quickly. He wouldn't freak out though. Kagome was the cousin she'd grown up with.

"I don't talk to her much. But from what I can tell, she's self-destructive, a little fucked up in the head, a bit of an alcoholic. And she's fucking Kouga, she lives on the wild side. But some things never change, you know?"

"Yeah," his ex-girlfriend mumbled over the phone. "Some things never change. But I'd better let you go, you know? Good luck, I hope I'll see you soon."

"Yeah," he muttered. "Goodbye."

"Listen, Yash, I love you, okay?" She said this quietly and it was too early for him to be feeling this guilty.

"I-I love you too. But I'm about to go, alright? I'll text you later on." He said, his voice gruff to cover up any emotion. Before she could get another word out, he hung up, taking a deep breath.

"Well, you obviously know more about me than I do, huh?" He heard her little voice speak up, and it was broken. He hadn't even realized she'd been standing there.

He looked at her, fire in his eyes. "You shouldn't have been listening if you didn't want to hear the truth."

He watched as her eyes watered. But she closed them, gained her composure and stood straight. "The truth? Oh, did you tell her that we've been fucking? Because that is the truth, right? And by the way, I'm not fucking Kouga anymore. And I'm not self-destructive. You don't even fucking know me, Inuyasha."

He growled, really not pleased with the way she was speaking to him. "I don't want to know you. Not anymore, Higurashi. You know what? What the fuck am I still doing here anyway?"

Her voice was crumbling and he could hear her heart hit the floor. "Don't let the door hit you on your way out, you jerk!"

Her voice was strong. But he could hear it tremble. He wasn't stupid.

He slammed the door on his way out.

**XXXXX**

Two days had passed since their little incident, and Kagome definitely didn't feel like going back to work this Monday to deal with the awkward tension she was surely feeling.

But there she was in his office. She'd decided to wear a baggy pair of slacks today, a loose, but neat-looking shirt. Her hair was up in a bun, no jewelry adorned her, and she wore minimal makeup, hardly any at all. She was sure she looked like shit, and since it was a humid and hot day, she was sure her hair was all out of place.

She didn't fucking care. Couldn't the day just be over already?

She opened the door to his office without knocking, a brown paper bag in her hand with a bagel inside, coffee in her other hand. Black, no sugar, strong. Just the way he liked it.

She had planned on not really giving a fuck about anything today, but when she saw him sitting there looking over papers and answering calls, her heart missed a few beats and she thought that it would just stop beating all together, but it didn't. She thought of high school. She thought about how he was just as gorgeous as he was back then.

Why did she even get out of bed at all today?

She took a deep breath, took fast steps forward to his desk, sat his breakfast down in front of him and her heart broke when he didn't even bother to look up at her. She would never admit that to herself, though.

"The fax machine and the phone has been going off ever since I stepped into this damn place. You already know what to do." He told her quietly, still not looking up at her.

She simply nodded her head, even though he wasn't paying a bit of attention to her.

With a sigh, she began her long, long day.

The tension in the room was thick, the silence so loud her ears were ringing loudly. She was thankful for every call, that way she could avoid the silence, get it off her mind.

She checked the clock on the wall. She could hear it ticking when she really focused. The phone rang and she nearly jumped out of her seat, and froze when she heard a wicked chuckle come from Inuyasha.

Taking another deep breath (she seemed to be taking a lot of those) she answered the phone, her voice shaky. "Hello, this is Takahashi Corp. This is Kagome speaking, how may I help you?"

She was not prepared for the voice on the other end. "Hello, Kagome? What're you doing im Yasha's office? You...you're working for him?"

She froze. The last thing she needed was her over-protective, jealous, hypocritical, bitch of a cousin knowing that her baby cousin had fucked her boyfriend. It took her a while to gain her composure, her head was racing with lies.

"K-Kikyo?" Fuck. Her voice was shaky. This wasn't a good morning. She heard Inuyasha growl, heard him moving towards her. Before Kagome could come up with a lie to tell her older cousin, Inuyasha snatched the phone from her, causing her to whip around and glare at him.

"Kikyo, what do you need?" He asked her, so much concern and warmth in his voice that it broke her heart once again. She wouldn't admit that, either.

She listened to them quietly, moving towards the door he'd walked outside of so he could talk to his ex-girlfriend in private. She crouched down, ears straining hard to hear what was to be said.

"Kikyo...I've said it a thousand time...don't call my work phone...What do you mean you want to talk to Kagome...not doing anything, I swear...if you want to believe I'd fuck your baby cousin behind your back, go ahead...don't you dare start crying..." She only heard bits and pieces of the words he was exchanging back. She leaned in a bit more, trying to hear him better, and she cursed quietly when the door squeaked. She heard Inuyasha get silent for a moment.

"This is why we never get anywhere, you always assume things...do you really think I'd be fucking your baby cousin when there's plenty of better options?"

She didn't know whether to be mad, sad, upset, disgusted. How should she feel?

"So you're coming in next week? Okay, I promise I'll make plans for us..." he paused, she had obviously interrupted him. "Trust me, she's nothing to me. We're not even friends no more, and since you're wondering why she picked up, she's my replacement secretary for now until we find a better one, which I'm sure we will soon...and yes, Kaede fired her...Yeah, I know, she can't keep a job...I don't know how your mom is doing, uh, I don't really speak to her...Yes, Kikyo, I promise I'm not fucking anybody, and even if I was what business of yours would it be?"

Kagome shook her head, frowning.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you next week, make sure you're here...I have to go, I have work to do, call me later...I love you too, Kikyo...Bye."

Kagome hurriedly rushed back to her desk. Her hands were shaking. How should she feel?

How should she feel?

Deep breaths, calm yourself, don't say anything that could make you lose your job.

"You know, eavesdropping really isn't polite. I thought you were raised better than that, Higurashi. But looking at you now, you look and act like wolves raised you," he bit out at her, obviously mad at Kikyo. Her heart accelerated, and her face turned red, but she said nothing.

"And dress better when you come into my office. This job doesn't require looking poor." Inuyasha spat at her, and she still didn't say anything.

Because that was it, she was absolutely done with Inuyasha Takahashi. Done trying, done fucking him, done hurting over him.

She always hoped for the day he would cross the line so she could handle no more, be pushed to the limit, have no choice but to stop loving him.

This was the day.

She didn't say a word back to him, just continued to look over his documents. But she could feel it deep inside, something she was so accustomed to. Pain. Oh, how he caused her pain. But the pain had never been this bad.

She felt like she'd never meant anything, like there dead friendship didn't make an impact on his life like it'd made on hers. The words on the screen were blurry and tears threatened to fall.

"Say something back, dammit!" He growled, in her ear now. He spun her chair around so she was facing him, and her emotions were on display and she was sure he knew now how much his words hurt. His face softened for just a split second, then hardened again and he was angry, grabbing at her shoulders, claws digging into her soft and sensitive flesh. She didn't bleed, though. "Say you hate me, Higurashi," he hissed out. "Fuck, just admit it!"

She shook her head at him. She didn't know what she was doing, but she went with instinct. Her hand cupped his cheek. Eyes locked on his. Heart racing away in her chest from anger or for a love that didn't want to die. But the flame was about to go out, or at least she hoped it was. At least he was here. At least she didn't have to miss him. At least she was still alive. "I don't hate you. You...you used to mean the world to me. That never goes away. You've changed so much, Inuyasha."

He looked at her, confusion and lust in his eyes. He was breathing heavily, he was trying to be a man when he was acting like a boy. It was something of a pity to see Inuyasha Takahashi all grown up now, but to see him still be a boy because he didn't know how to be a man. His lips were so close to her own.

Before she knew it, his lips were pressed against hers and she hadnt been expecting this. His kiss was as gentle as ever, his lips so soft against hers. Her hands knotted into his silver locks, and without breaking the kiss, he pulled her to her feet, slammed her against the wall so hard she broke away because all breath left her body.

She heard him growl, it was as soft as his hair against her cheek, as soft as the things he was making her feel. Her legs wrapped tight around him and she hoped she could unlove him, hoped she wouldn't feel anything, but he made her feel everything.

She gasped as he ran a hand down her side, up to her chest, cupping a breast. Her mouth opened wide in a silent moan as he began kneading her breast through her shirt, wanting more, more, more. He took this opportunity to stick his tongue in her mouth, searching it fully and moaning softly against her lips, causing her to moan, too.

And then she realized that this was a boy, not a man. A boy he selfishly took what he thought he deserved, a boy who screamed at her for his own problems, a boy who used her, a boy she gave everything to but he refused to give it back.

She broke away, panting. She gave him a weak smile, tears making her vision blurry but that didn't stop her from seeing the pain in his eyes that was deeper than she could ever be able to understand. He'd hurt her, Kikyo had hurt him, and she couldn't do this anymore. "I-I'm sorry, Inuyasha."

He bit out a rough chuckle. "You...you're sorry?"

"I'm sorry she keeps hurting you," Kagome explained, still panting. His eyes were hazy and he stared at her before leaning in to kiss her neck and she nearly gave in.

"I don't want to. Inuyasha, I don't wanna do this, not right now." Kagome told him, nearly choking on her own words. What if she regretted them later? But she couldn't regret these words, they would keep the pain away. "I can't do this right now."

"You..." he took a deep breath, still panting harshly. He gently lowered her to the ground, but she was still cornered by him. "What do you mean you cant do this right now?"

"It's Kikyo...I can't keep doing this to her. I can't. I know you don't think highly of me at all, but I'm not that kind of girl." Kagome told him gently.

"Kikyo?" He growled out. "Bullshit. You're about to cry."

"I'm leaving now, okay? I really don't feel well. I know you need me, but you can make it through one day without me, right?" She asked him timidly. She wasn't being herself at all.

"Of course I can," he muttered. "I know I'm a jerk. I know you feel bad. But...you don't understand, Higurashi," he still couldn't call her by her real name, the name he used to know so well. "But you're bullshitting me."

"I'm not," she told him gently. "I'm going through something, Inuyasha. Something terrible. I really don't feel well."

He nodded, looking quite dumb.

She smiled appreciatively. "Thanks for understanding, Inuyasha. I'll be back tomorrow, and once again, I'm sorry."

She left, wishing that she didn't love anybody anymore.

But you wanna know something amazing, something that gave her pride? She didn't let one goddamn tear escape that day.

**A/N: Long time, no see. I'm so busy and tired all the time it's crazy. My computer still isn't working, so I'm still copying and pasting from my iPod. I hope I get go update more soon. Anyway, review if you hated it and review if you loved it, too. Tell me your ideas, what you think should happen, etc. Hope to see you all again soon.**


	8. Again and Again

The seasons were ever so slowly changing, and soon, summer would be over. And with some time, Kagome realized that she was changing, too.

She found herself clinging to the summer, though. She would miss it like she always did, the feeling that something was going to break all summer long, and the feeling of being strong anyway.

It had been a month since the incident with Inuyasha, and things had been running smoothly. Sango had eventually found out and berated her about the whole situation, but Sango was her best friend and she didn't care what she was doing, as long as it wasn't illegal. So she'd told her that if she really wanted to go along with it, she should do it.

Her and Inuyasha were still having sex, it wasn't like she could help having feelings for the guy. Their fights were short and over simple, stupid matters, but that was just their relationship. It was almost as if they'd forgot the fight they had, because he needed someone to use, he needed someone to take his stress out on. She needed to fuck him like she hated him in hopes of one day actually hating him, it had been about a month and she still felt nothing but love for him, which was a sign that she needed to move on. Get her shit together. Stop fucking with Inuyasha Takahashi. Stop breaking her own heart. It was nobody's fault but her own.

Of course having a half of someone she loved didn't make her absolutely positively happy, but it was better than nothing. The sex between them had became as natural as drinking water. They had it anywhere, anytime. Whenever things with a guy she was talking to didn't work out, she'd run to Inuyasha and use him. And whenever Kikyo frustrated him, he ran to her to use her. And this was the way it would always be. Sort of a win-win situation.

She didn't want to be here right now. Rin was so happy, her eyes wide and glowing as she tried on her Vera Wang dress and absolutely fell in love with it. Of course she loved to see Rin happy, but wasn't it hard to feel happy for someone when you were feeling so conflicted on the inside? When you wanted to be that happy but you couldn't?

Kagome knew she was still the self-destructive little girl she was back in high school, using her body to get whatever she wanted. Using her looks to get her way, to get off easier than most. Breaking hearts because she wanted everybody else to be just as broken as she was.

She had been talking to Hojo again. He was exactly all she wanted in a guy. He was sweet, considerate, friendly, had a great personality, and another plus was the fact that he didn't hate her despite what went down between them a couple of months ago. He had forgiven her, told her that he was ready whenever she was and that if he couldn't have her right now, he'd wait.

She should have felt like the luckiest girl in the world. There she was all broken over Inuyasha while their friendship didn't seem to mean anything to him, while it meant everything to her. And there Hojo was, some kind of knight in shining armor to save her from those conflicted and hurt feelings, there to remind her always that she was more than what was hurting her. Wasn't she stupid?

She'd built up her whole world around Inuyasha, and then he had disappeared. Into atoms, into air, out of her life. He had just diminished, but he was still in her heart when he left, in the tears she cried, in her morning coffee, in the water she'd bathed in. She'd built her whole world up around him and then he'd just left. And then there was Hojo, telling her he loved her. Swearing that he loved her. And Kagome knew that his love was sincere, and she knew that when love was that sincere and that he'd promised her he'd love her no matter what, she'd known then that he would always come back to haunt her. He would always have unfinished business with her, whether she liked it or not.

"My god, you're beautiful, Rin," Sango said, standing from her seat to pull her friend into a warm and welcoming hug. Kagome sensed the tears about to fall, and she suddenly found herself checking the time.

There Rin was in her near a million Vera Wang dress, her eyes all sparkling and her smile all bright. And Kagome felt envious all of a sudden and she damn near hated herself for it. Here she was, being selfish once again.

Rin had tears in her eyes, mascara unknowingly getting messy on her cheeks. They crowded her, they praised her and they all cried together. Except Kagome, of course. She was rather agitated. Rin was younger than her and getting married. And her? All she'd ever have was a fuck buddy who wouldn't even notice if she dropped off the edge of this earth...

And did you know that it takes more muscles to frown more than it does to smile? That's why she forced one. That was the kind of smile that was plastered, almost glued on to her face as she pulled Rin close.

Her best friend was getting married tomorrow and she couldn't even be completely happy about that. She was starting to feel quite like the pessimist.

"You really are beautiful. Just make sure Fluffy doesn't see you in this before the wedding. It's bad luck, and plus, he might just end up ripping it off of you and having his way with you in front of everybody." Kagome told her, her smile happy but her eyes quite sad. Rin noticed this, and she gave her an amused smile, hoping to lighten her best friend's mood. Unfortunately, Rin knew what Kagome was going through.

"Haha, very funny," Rin joked. "Wait till Yasha sees you in that dress. Lord knows the things he's gonna do to you tomorrow."

Rin instantly regretted it the moment it came out of her mouth. Kagome's face fell but she mustered a smile, anyway. Kagome felt Sango's hand on her shoulder.

"Rin-" Sango started, trying to warn the girl.

Kagome shrugged Sango's hand off of her shoulder. Who did she need? Nobody. "Hey, it's okay. I'm fine. I'm not worried about Inuyasha, I'm just worried about tomorrow. I hope everything goes well."

Rin gave her an apologetic smile. She wasn't trying to make Kagome feel any worse about the situation she was in. God, she knew it must have felt horrible. Inuyasha's return was quite unexpected, and Kagome had been fine up until that point. Rin could only imagine the pain she had to go through, knowing just how Yash is, and assuming that he would never love her back. But she couldn't stop sleeping with him because Rin guessed that she thought sleeping with him and letting him use her was better than nothing.

"No, Kagome, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. You know what? Go have a drink tonight. Not too many, but just enough to get him off of your mind, okay? I don't want you to have a hangover tomorrow, I need you there. But honestly, don't worry about my jerk of a brother-in-law." Rin told her with a smile.

Kagome sat down, pretty eyes staring at Rin's gorgeous dress. "I'm not worried about him. Why would I be? I have no feelings for him and he definitely doesn't feel shit for me."

"You may be right, he doesn't feel anything for you. But Kagome, seriously. You're not a good girl anymore, you're far from that. But you love him, and god knows you have to have a good heart to love him after all him and Kikyo have put you through," Sango intervened, her voice extremely serious. "I don't know. But I know he's not making you happy. I know that you love him, and I know that he doesn't even care."

Kagome groaned, massaging her temples. Great, this was just what she needed. "Listen, I'm fine. I don't care about what happens with Yash. Whatever happens, happens. And speaking of Kikyo, me and mom are supposed to be picking her up from the airport later on tonight, and then we're all supposed to have dinner. So I'll call both of you later."

"Kagome!" Rin squealed. "You can't keep running from us. Sooner or later, we all need to have a long talk about this."

"No, we don't." Kagome stood to her feet, pulling Rin close and giving her a kiss on the forehead, and pulling Sango into a tight hug. "If I don't hear from you all tonight, I'll see you tomorrow. Bye, bitches."

With that, Kagome left. Sango and Rin stood behind, shaking their heads.

"I think she's gonna be just fine once she gets over that dickhead." Rin announced with a determined smile on her face.

"Yeah. I hope so."

**XXXXX**

"She's a bitch, mom," Kagome continued to whine as she pressed her head against the car window, a pout on her lips. "Seriously, why are you even letting her stay here? She's rude and she hates me and she's an expensive little slut who doesn't even know the meaning of respect. Mama, I'm begging you."

Ms. Higurashi shook her head and reached out a hand to turn the music on the radio up, making Kagome even angrier. "Language, Kagome."

"I'm not fucking thirteen anymore, I can cuss whenever and wherever I want because I'm a grown woman now," Kagome stared before turning her head away angrily and folding her arms under her breasts.

"You won't use that language around me. If I was you, I'd start showing your mother some respect. Your cousin, too." Ms. Higurashi scolded, hands roughly gripping the steering wheel.

Yes, she knew she was being a bitch. She knew she was being a child right now, and not an adult. But she felt her mood getting even more sour as they neared the airport. "Mama, you don't understand! You have no clue about the things that girl does."

"She's a woman now, just like you, Kagome," Ms. Higurashi looked over at her daughter, giving her a disapproving shake of her head. And in a rush it all came to her and she couldn't help the sad little smile that crossed her lips. "This...this is about Inuyasha...am I right?"

Kagome didn't even want to reply. But this was her mother, so she had to. "They aren't even dating anymore, and no, it has nothing to do with him at all."

"You're lying," her Mama called to her, voice filled with compassion. Kagome groaned. She was making her feel like an insecure teenage girl again. "What happened to you and Inuyasha? You used to really love him, and when love is that real, it doesn't fade."

Kagome groaned once more, avoiding her mother's eyes. "Mama, I don't wanna talk about this. It's over, it's done with."

There was silence for a short moment.

"Why?" Mrs. Higurashi asked, confused.

Kagome looked at her mother incredulously.

Why? Why not was the question.

Once upon a time, a very beautiful woman was happily married to a very handsome man. They had no money, but they had heart, and they decided to get married and have a family. A baby girl came first. A few years later, without any planning whatsoever, the very beautiful woman ended up pregnant again. Neither her or the very handsome man were expecting it, they just believed that things happened sometimes and they often happened with reasons. But they were happy, you see? They had a perfectly fine, healthy little girl. And then they found out there was another bun in the oven. They couldn't have been happier.

You see, the little girl's daddy meant the world to her. He'd tuck her in tight at night after reading her her favorite stories, and the very beautiful woman would lay next to them in her big bed that made her feel like one of the princesses the very handsome man used to read about. The very beautiful woman's stomach protruded now, it was round as a watermelon and looked like it was about to burst. The little girl loved to feel her little brother kick inside her mother's belly. She would giggle with delight, and she didn't know it then, but she had everything she could ever want.

The very handsome man had to get a job. The very beautiful woman would make them breakfast every morning before he left and he'd kiss her forehead, and when he would come home, he'd always bring her something back, and he was the only man she had ever really loved because he was the only man who never let her down.

One day, the very beautiful woman had cooked dinner for the very handsome man like she did everyday and he didn't come home. She waited around pacing, rubbing her watermelon belly every once in a while. The little girl hugged her, asked when daddy was coming home. The little girl looked into the very beautiful woman's eyes, and it scared her. The very beautiful woman was worried, and the little girl didn't like that.

Mama got the call later. She fell to the floor crying and sobbing and gasping in disbelief and pain. Daddy had broke Mama's heart and Kagome had never forgotten that day, or how scared she had been, or how the policeman with the kind eyes had told her that Daddy was never coming back home. Never. Never was a long time, wasn't it? Never was kind of like forever, never hurt.

Kagome had never felt such fear, never felt so much pain, and no child should ever feel that. Kagome hated hospitals ever since that day. She had been in the waiting room, and a doctor, another person with kind eyes, had told her that her Daddy had been in an awful car wreck, and that he was going to be asleep for a long, long time. Now Kagome was only five, but she knew that a long time meant forever.

She asked if her Daddy would be dreaming of her. And then she freaked because Daddy would never get to see her baby brother, Daddy would never get to see his new baby. Then there came the sound of a lost mother screaming to god, cursing him, losing all faith in one fragile second. And in one fragile second, that mother was broken and a piece of strength had been taken from her, strength that was never to be found again.

Baby brother Souta came into the world a week later, but Mama was too sad to look him in the eyes. Mama almost looked so sad, poor Kagome wasn't sure that her mother wanted to have him in her arms. Mama said he looked too much like Daddy. Mama said her heart was breaking, and while they made her fade away, stuck needles in her back and in her arm and while they placed tiny blue and white and red pills on her tongue and made her gulp them down with sips of water, Mama told them she was dying. Mama told them that her heart was broken and asked if there was anything they could do. They just gave her more pills.

That little girl grew up right then and there. She grew up strong because she had to. She stopped believing in heroes, she stopped believing in monsters under her bed and started believing in the monsters that were inside of her. She stopped believing in Santa and Boogyman and Tooth Fairy and princes and princesses and Sandman. If Sandman was real, she wouldn't have dreamed of Mama's broken sobs every single night. She held baby Souta in her arms when Mama was too weak, vowing to love him forever, vowing to never let him see all she'd seen. She told him Santa was real, told him that if he believed in his heart he was real. She wanted her baby brother to stay young forever. She didn't want to tell him of the monsters inside of her or inside of Mama.

Why couldn't she believe the things she'd told her dear baby brother, though? While Souta was in middle school, Kagome was in high school. All grown up, no more baby Kagome. Inuyasha Takahashi was her best friend, he smoked with her, he cried with her, they got drunk together and told each other everything and she was still a good girl in his eyes, he just knew that she did what she did because sometimes you couldn't handle all that pain by yourself. And he did what he did because he couldn't handle who he was or how he was even though she told him that she'd never be ashamed of him.

Kikyo was the one who got her into cigarettes and marijuana and alcohol. Just her, Inuyasha, and Kikyo, her beautiful cousin that was all that she could never be. And then she stared seeing the way her cousin looked at her best friend. And then she started seeing the way her best friend looked at her cousin, and boom, she'd caught his lips on hers.

They hadn't seen her, of course. It was a warm summer night and she couldn't sleep, her brain fuzzy from marijuana and her body floating towards them. They were behind the shrine. They were fast and they were horny and they were teenagers. There were grunts and groans and they were moving against each other in a way she'd never seen before. They were naked. She was mesmerized as she watched the way his hips pounded against hers, and as her cousin bit into his shoulder to keep from screaming. Mama would hear.

She kept watching, she was so disgusting but she kept watching as that place between her thighs became damp because she realized how much her and Kikyo looked alike, how she could easily be in her spot right now. Inuyasha slamming his hips into hers, his delicious shoulder blade in her mouth, his hot tongue moving against hers, thrusting in and out of her mouth like his dick would be thrusting in and out of her. And that thought had gotten her so wet and she was so disgusted and she was so fucking angry and she felt so much envy and jealousy she could hardly contain it.

Kikyo had stole her Inuyasha away, the Inuyasha who had been there with her through everything.

Her head tossed back, his dick long and hard inside of her wetness, slender fingers moving up his chest to feel the muscles twitch, wrapping around his neck. Panting and moaning and groaning, because all they were was stupid teenagers who believed they were invincible, because they all really are. That night, in Kagome's head, she'd taken Kikyo's place.

She didn't speak of it, she never spoke of it. Inuyasha had never told her, Kikyo had never told her, and it had been the hardest thing in the world not to break down like Mama did that night, not to drown in tears because her cousin had had him. Everytime he touched her, everytime he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, everytime he kissed her forehead and everytime he pulled her body close to his, she thought of how she was the one who deserved that, she was the one who wanted that. All she got were high-fives, friendly hugs.

After two months, they announced that they were dating and Kagome really had felt like her mother then, absolutely heart broken. Or at least she thought she did. But she didn't go crazy. She didn't cry and scream and sob even though she had lost Yash to Kikyo. She became numb, she thought she had become strong but as she grew up even more, she realized that she wasn't strong. She was just so sad that she'd became numb to any other emotion.

But she had became who she needed to be to be strong because that was the only way she had known how to survive back then. Cigarettes between her slender fingers, nicotine and marijuana clogging up her senses so she couldn't feel shit, and she loved it.

For a while, they were close but he soon left, just like her dad, just like everyone else, just left her alone. She realized she was pretty at the sweet age of sixteen. Lots of skipped classes, and the boys, god, there were so many boys. The voicemails, the late night calls, the random hook-ups. Inuyasha pushing her against a wall as she lost all control, as he lost all control, telling her that she was a slut and that he didn't know who she was anymore. She'd admitted that she was, told him that she wasn't his slut, though, and she had admitted that she didn't know who she was anymore, either. Red eyes, a half-demon losing control as his best friend slipped away from him. But Kikyo had taken him away from her first. She loved it when he got protective, loved it when he could fucking smell the scent of a boy all over her. She loved it. And then, she lost him. Maybe it was her fault, too. But him and Kikyo had been a big part of the equation.

Mama had no memories of a teenager all alone in her bedroom, crying her guts out at three in the morning. Mama had no memories of a daughter losing all control. Mama didn't know that while she was in her room sleeping, her sweet little daughter was in her bedroom fucking the new guy of the night or taking a big hit off a joint so hard that she thought she might cough her lungs up, or throw up. Mama didn't know because Kagome didn't want her to be hurt, so she'd never know.

Almost so numb it hurt, so numb that it made it all better. No more broken hearts, no more good girl, just a bad girl found out. No more being let down. No bra, no panties. She was invincible. You liked it, you wanted it, you got it. Fuck me, touch me, smoke me, breathe me. Not a baby anymore Kags. She remembered numbness, and it may sound crazy, but she remembered forgetting.

"You wanna know why, Mama? You know why you don't wanna talk about Daddy?" Kagome asked, suddenly feeling as if she was about to lose her mind. She almost felt her Mama's weariness, almost felt her heart break again as she brought up something she had been avoiding forever.

"Kagome-" Mrs. Higurashi started, knowing that she was about to lose the argument before it even began.

"He broke your heart when he left, didn't he? So do me a favor, and spare the bullshit about how in love I used to be with Yash." Kagome told her mother these things gently. She hated to even bring her father up around her. "Inuyasha broke my heart, and I'll never allow myself to get hurt like that again, Mama. So please, next time just consider the fact that you know how it feels to be that lonely, to be that broken."

There was three minutes of silence.

"I didn't know." Mrs. Higurashi said simply. "You're over it now?"

"You didn't know because I didn't want you to know."

"Higurashi Kagome, are you over it now? Answer me." Mama insisted, turning the volume down. Kagome laughed snidely. Funny now how she wanted to hear what she had to say now, she certainly hadn't before.

"You never get over those kinds of things, Mama, you just kinda learn to deal with it," she told her. "I'm fine."

"You didn't tell me," her mother said sadly.

"You didn't need to know."

The closer and closer they got to the airport, the more sick Kagome felt.

"I'm your mother. I needed to know." Mrs. Higurashi looked at her beautiful daughter for a second and realized how sick and how hurt she looked. "You're turning green, Kagome."

"You didn't need to watch me fall to pieces, Mama." They were getting closer and closer. "Stop the car."

The airport came into view.

"Kagome-"

"Stop the fucking car, Mama, please." She wasn't getting angry and she wasn't being a smartass. But she was about to see a face she hadn't seen in years.

The car stopped, she opened the door, heaved her guts out, spit, wiped her mouth like it was nothing, slammed the car door shut.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Drive."

But she'd never felt more horrible.

They got out the car, Mama was on her tiptoes looking for a face that looked just like hers, only prettier, only all that she could never ever be.

When Kagome hugged her long-lost cousin, she smelled like a cheap whore. Foundation was caked to her face, eyeshadow and eyeliner heavily applied and her beautiful ebony hair in a heap of beautiful curls. Why did Kikyo even try? She had Inuyasha's heart even if she was wearing sweatpants and a hoodie instead of designer jeans and a classy designer shirt with the perfect pair of heels to match.

"Kagome, I've missed you. Auntie, I've missed you, too."

"Let's get you home. I know you must be tired, jetlag tends to do that. I've got dinner cooking now. You look beautiful, honey. You've matured so much, it seems just like yesterday you were a little girl. You're gorgeous."

Kikyo had the biggest and brightest smile. Straight teeth, a cute dimple in her right cheek, perfect lips.

Kagome was going to be sick.

"Yes, let's go." Kikyo agreed.

When they were in the car, Kagome felt herself slipping away.

"Kagome, my god, I hardly even recognize you. You're gorgeous. All the guys must be all over you. So, do you have a boyfriend?" Kikyo asked, sounding completely innocent.

"No."

"Kagome-" Mama started.

Kagome looked back at her cousin, faking a big smile. "And thanks, Kik. Same to you."

**XXXXX**

"So are you excited for the wedding tomorrow, Kagome? I can't believe Rin's getting married, especially to Sesshomaru. Who would have ever thought Sesshy had a thing for females?" Kikyo giggled lightly as she slipped into a pair of pajamas.

"Yeah, of course I am. Rin's my best friend, I'm happy for her. I always knew Sesshy had a thing for her. She's different. He's dull and she's bright, opposites attract." Kagome told her back.

She was currently in an awkward situation. Her and Kikyo were sharing a bed. Meaning she'd have to sleep next to the girl, well, woman now, who had taken Inuyasha away from her. Was it fair to hate Kikyo? Should she just hate Inuyasha? Or should she just grow up and deal with it? But she couldn't, it hurt. Pain so deep that it wasn't even pain, it was something so much worse.

She was only in her panties in a bra now, and then she heard Kikyo gasp, and then she felt a hand on her hip. Her first reaction was to jerk away, but she didn't.

"Kagome, look at those hips!" Kikyo exclaimed.

"What about them?" She didn't really want to go back in the past to where Kikyo used to tear her down all the time.

Her older cousin just laughed lightly. "I don't see how you don't have a boyfriend. Those are the Higurashi hips, guys go crazy over them. Your tits are even bigger than mine. You sure aged up pretty nicely," Kikyo laughed lightly and Kagome felt even more uncomfortable so she slipped a large t-shirt over her head, taking a seat on her bed.

"So tell me," Kikyo started, "aren't you at least talking to somebody, or, you know...fucking somebody?"

"I'm a virgin." Kagome lied, trying not to sound too sarcastic.

"You're not a virgin. Don't forget about those random hook-ups back in high school. Shit, no wonder any your ass is so fat, Kags. And I mean that in a good way, by the way, so don't take any offense to that."

"I don't wanna talk about those days. That was way back in high school, I'm over it now. No more random hook-ups, no more drugs." Kagome told her, getting rather agitated. She didn't know, there was just something about her beautiful, older cousin that made her uncomfortable.

But looking at her now, even with no makeup, Kikyo was still gorgeous as ever. She could hardly take all the envy she felt from just looking at her. She had Inuyasha's love. How did Yasha even get a chance with her? Everybody liked her...everybody.

"Yeah, you're right. Those days are over. We were wild back then. But I've settled down, and I'm trying to be a better person." Kikyo told her, suddenly serious.

"How are you and Inuyasha?" Kagome asked quietly. It came out of nowhere and as soon as those five words came out of her mouth, she felt like slapping herself. She already knew the answer, anyway.

"We're...we're kind of taking a break," Kikyo said rather sadly. Kagome died a little inside. Kikyo had really loved him, and maybe now she was regretting the fact that she always hounded him and wanted him to be somebody he wasn't. "No lie, I miss him. That's another reason I'm staying for a while. Things ended kinda badly between us. I was so caught up in work, and he was, too. You know if you don't have communication with your love, you don't really have anything. That's what we were missing."

"He really loves you. Trust me, I know. He says he hates when you call when he's in the office, but he's always in a better mood once you two talk. He's a really sweet guy, Kik. Talk it out with him." And with every word she said, her heart broke. But words were gold.

"I love him, I do. I don't think I'm ready for a relationship now, though. We've been together forever, it seems. And it's not like I'm tired or sick of him, but sometimes when you love somebody that much and you tell them, and nothing really changes, it kinda starts to feel like you're saying nothing at all. So I don't really know what to do. Things will work out eventually, I guess."

Kagome took a deep breath. "How long are you staying?"

"Just a few days. I need to get back home. I don't belong here anymore." Kikyo told her simply.

Another deep breath. "I don't think he wants you to leave."

Kikyo looked at her curiously. "Who do you love, Kagome-chan? Do tell."

"I don't love anybody."

"You're lying."

"I am not."

Kikyo laughed. "You're telling me that you've never been in love? You've never cared for someone out of this world? That's a lie, Kags. You've been in love. I can tell."

"I loved someone and they loved someone else. I got my heart broke, end of the story."

"You've slept around before. Kags, how could you just give your body to someone you have no love for, to someone you barely trust?" Kikyo asked suspiciously.

"Good girls go bad because jerks make them that way. I don't sleep around anymore. I don't need anyone but myself. I'm fine. I don't think you need love to make you happy. I think that if you're happy with yourself, and you love yourself, that's all you're really ever going to need."

Kikyo smiled. "We should get some rest. After all, we need it. We've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

"Goodnight."

But she didn't go to sleep. She didn't dream and when morning came, everything was new and washed white and she hadn't slept at all.

**XXXXX**

"How the fuck did I end up as best man last minute?" Inuyasha asked Miroku angrily as he hassled with his tie. Miroku sighed gently and made his way over to help his struggling best friend.

"You're freaking out because Kikyo is here. And for the first time ever, you're gonna have to face her and Kagome. You're gonna have to deal with the guilt of fucking her baby cousin. I must say, I've seen you at your worst, Inuyasha. But right now, you're a train wreck." Miroku said dully as he tightened his tie.

"Shut the fuck up." Inuyasha snarled.

"I'm right. You're not denying it. So which one tonight? The older one or the younger one?"

"Very fucking funny," Inuyasha remarked snidely. "How about neither?"

"Bullshit, Yash. You can't have them both."

"I want Kikyo."

"But somebody's getting a bit attached to Kagome, am I right? I bet the sex is amazing. She sure filled out nicely. In my opinion, she looks better than Kikyo. If I wasn't a happily married man, damn, Kagome would be-"

"Shut the fuck up, Miroku," Inuyasha growled. "I told you about that shit. I don't wanna hear it."

"Scared somebody else will take her? I mean, have you seen the hips, ass, and rack on that girl? Like I said, if I wasn't married, I'd make Kagome mine." Miroku smirked.

Inuyasha hit him upside the head. "Stop talking about her. Yes, I've seen everything."

"So how is it?" Miroku asked, pleased that he was irking his friend's nerves.

"How is what?" Inuyasha growled, quickly buttoning up his white shirt. Miroku had to admit, even though Inuyasha was a nervous wreck, he had still cleaned up pretty nicely.

"How's the sex? Duh. What else would I wanna know about?"

Inuyasha growled once more. "Now why the hell would I tell you something so personal?"

"I don't know. Kouga said she was amazing in bed," Miroku tried to suppress his snickers when he heard Inuyasha snarl. "I just wanted your opinion."

"It's none if your fucking business. And Kouga can forget about sleeping with her ever again. I'm pretty sure that since I've started fucking her, she'll never want it from anyone else again."

"She's dating someone." Miroku blurted out.

"Good for her," he tried to be nonchalant, but it came out as a growl, his teeth gritted together. Miroku was getting on his nerves as usual, that was all. "I don't give a fuck about who she dates."

"What if I told you she was fucking Kouga tonight?" Miroku asked, knowing that he was probably taking this way too far. Inuyasha was known for his horrible temper.

"That's not gonna happen," he snarled.

"It could."

"She knows her fucking place. No one will fuck what's mine." Inuyasha said cooly.

"Oh, she's yours?"

"Her body is. That's all."

Miroku shook his head, his best friend was absolutely hopeless. Would he ever realize Kagome's feelings for him? He was pretty sure they still existed, whether she showed it or not. "Did you used to have feelings for her, Inuyasha?"

There was a short moment of silence and he took a deep breath before he spoke. "We were just kids back then. I didn't know anything about feelings. So in that case, I've never had feelings for her."

"You really hurt her..." Shit. He didn't mean for that to come out.

"What did you say?" Inuyasha asked, stopping to look at his best friend. "I never hurt Kagome. She never had feelings for me. We were friends back then, nothing more."

"She took it the wrong way, man. I think she really, really liked you back then. She was crazy about you and you hurt her." Miroku told him uncomfortably, shifting from side to side.

Inuyasha looked at his best friend incredulously, and then his amber eyes hardened. "You're a lying fuck. If she had feelings for me, I'm pretty sure she would've told me back then. After all, she certainly wasn't afraid to tell Hojo or Kouga or any of the other guys she fucked around with. I didn't ever hurt Kagome. She hurt herself."

"I'm a lying fuck?" Miroku questioned haughtily. "You were a jealous little fuck back then, Yash. She was your best friend and you just fucking ditched her for someone who treated her like shit! And maybe she fucked them because she knew that they would at least return a bit of her feelings. You know what? You fucking lead her on. You nearly ruined her life. She did the things she used to do all because of you, you were the reason she was always getting faded and she wasn't even Kagome anymore, and she still isn't!"

"I'm not having this conversation with you anymore. What, you got feelings for her or something now?" Inuyasha snickered, trying to lighten the mood. He knew he'd hurt Kagome, he knew. And it was something that he always wanted to forget.

"Kagome's my best friend. Do you know how hard it was to see her hurt?" Miroku asked.

"She didn't need me. She had Kouga and she had Hojo and Bankotsu and all of the others. So why did she need me? And by the way, I was never a jealous little fuck." Inuyasha snarled.

"Yes you were and you still are," Miroku commented snidely. "You were out shoving your tongue down Kikyo's throat and whenever a guy was interested in Kagome, you could barely stand it. She couldn't even have a boyfriend because of you. She never had the chance to move on."

"That's not true!" Inuyasha debated fiercely, feeling himself heat up in anger and embarrassment, but he wouldn't ever admit it. "I was her best friend back then. They were all jerks, every single one of them. I didn't wanna see her hurt, Miroku. There was nothing romantic between us at all. I was like her older brother."

"You remember that time when you two were like...what...thirteen? And we were all trying to grow up way too fast and we were playing spin the bottle and it landed on Kagome? Do you remember that kiss? It had to be longer than fifteen seconds and by the time you two were done you were red as apples?" Miroku asked, a smile on his face.

Inuyasha groaned. "Don't bring up old shit, Roku. We were young and stupid and of course we were red in the face, that was her first kiss. And we were best friends, it was awkward."

"But that wasn't your first kiss." Miroku said in a sing-song voice.

"I was like her brother," Inuyasha said simply.

"So you've got an explanation for every single thing that's ever happened between you two?"

"I sure as hell do," Inuyasha responded, gritting his teeth together and his voice a snarl.

"Funny. So do you have an explanation for the way she looked at you back then or the way you looked at her?"

"God, Miroku. Just shut the fuck up. I don't wanna talk about Kagome. We're not even close anymore, we're nowhere near that. So just leave it alone and let the fucking past stay in the past." Inuyasha said seriously.

"Losing her and being away from her hurt you just as much as it hurt her."

"And what if it did? What if she did used to be my best friend and my everything and the one who stuck by my side no matter what? Miroku, it's over with. It's old shit and I don't wanna talk about this anymore. I love Kikyo. Kagome never felt anything for me, why can't you just get this through your head?"

"You know what? I hope she hooks up with Hojo or Kouga tonight."

"She can fuck them if she wants, as long as she saves a piece for me." Inuyasha gritted out.

"Anybody would love to have Kagome as theirs."

"Good, for why ever that is."

"She's really hurt, Inuyasha. I just thought that you should know."

"Well, guess what? She hurt me too. I'm not responsible for everything."

"You're responsible for her feelings." Miroku told him.

"Fuck this. Kikyo wants to see me and if we're late, Rin might just murder us. C'mon. We've gotta leave."

"Yeah, let's go." Miroku said with a big smile on his face, feeling as if he'd accomplished something.

**XXXXX**

"I'm about to puke." Rin said seriously as she observed everything with careful eyes. Every single thing was perfect but she had this feeling she couldn't shake. "I'm going to fucking puke my guts out."

"You're fine," Kagome assured her. "You're just nervous. Calm down."

"No, because I'm going to puke."

Sango sighed, aggravated. "Rin, seriously. Stop fucking shaking. Your eyes are getting foggy. You're gonna make me ruin my masterpiece."

"Rin, you're okay, alright?" Kagome told her reassuringly, resting a hand on her shoulder.

Rin's eyes swelled with tears. Kagome had to admit that she was rather annoyed. Rin was blessed. Here she was, all beautiful and dressed up in the most expensive gown she'd ever seen on her life, but she was about to cry and she was throwing temper tantrums.

"I promise you, everything's gonna be fine. It's your big day. Just stay calm, I know for sure everything's gonna be alright." Kagome promised her.

"No, you guys, you don't understand." Rin told them. "I'm pregnant. I'm literally gonna puke."

Kagome's draw dropped and Sango for sure nearly fell out of her seat. "What?" Sango roared, while Kagome stood there absolutely speechless. "Oh, so this is a gunshot wedding. Why didn't you tell us sooner? Rin, oh my god. How fucking long have you known?"

Rin smiled, eyes still watery. "Oh, it's just perfect, you guys! I'm seven weeks so far, and nobody will ever know, okay? I still haven't told Sesshy, I wanna surprise him."

Kagome shook her head, unable to believe what she was hearing. This was an absolute miracle. The cold hearted, unmerciful Sesshomaru was going to have a child? But...but he'd always hated kids. He'd hated her and Inuyasha's guts growing up. Said they were too loud, too boisterous, caused to much trouble. She just couldn't imagine him ever loving someone else unconditionally, besides Rin, that is.

Did miracles like these just happen everyday?

Kagome knew she shouldn't have never even felt it, but still, nothing could stop her from feeling what she did in that moment.

Jealousy.

**XXXXX**

Everything was perfect. He should have felt perfectly fine, and maybe if he wasn't stressed, he could have been almost happy for his prick of a half brother.

He seen the way she'd looked at him, she was obviously still pissed at him. And the fact that she was absolutely gorgeous today in her gown didn't help the fact at all.

She was smiling now, one of those genuine smiles he didn't get to see very often, but he decided it was a nice change-up from those little smirks that she always seemed to send his way. He fumbled handing over the rings, his fingers so clumsy all of a sudden and his body hot.

She sent him another look, hatred in her eyes and it gave him chills, and he never wanted to have her so badly. He just wanted this whole thing to be over with, he wanted to be home. He wanted to take a cold shower and crack open a few bottles of beer and just relax, find a way to take her body off his mind.

This wasn't supposed to be happening, and this definitely wasn't in his play book. He had decided that he was going to avoid Kagome, whether her body was perfection or not.

He had decided that going after Kikyo would be the best option. After all, Kikyo was just as gorgeous in her beautiful gown, and her almost porcelain face. Midnight black hair falling straight and neatly down her back, his love, his heartache, his headache, his everything...but no...

His eyes were glued to Kagome's body, and he began to realize the important of all her curves, the slope of her back, the thickness of her hips, how her lips looked like they desperately needed to be kissed. And he wished he could have had the pleasure of taking all of these things about her into account when she was naked in his grasp, clothes tossed to the floor, bedroom eyes watching his every move with intensity.

It was all over so quickly and he didn't even notice it, eyes still glued to Kagome, the brat. The bitch. The wench. The whore. He should have been wanting Kikyo more than anything. But he didn't.

He made small talk with Mrs. Higurashi, with Sango, Miroku, everybody he could think of while he watched her out of the corner of his eye. She was being a wallflower, leaning against a wall with a glass of wine in her slender hand, which he noticed that she hadn't taken a single drink of. Her mind seemed to be somewhere else...

"Dance with me?" A small voice asked and he whipped around to see Kikyo standing there, as gorgeous and happy looking as he'd ever seen her, and she had his heart again. She always won. Always.

He regained his composure and took a deep breath and pulled her close to him swiftly, his body starting to sway with hers.

They were dancing, cheering to happy and depressed. Her scent was a drug to him. Knowing she had a flight in the morning broke his heart, though he'd never admit it.

"I'm leaving soon," she told him quietly.

"I know." He said gently, running a hand through her hair and feeling rather uncomfortable. Things had always been like this, and Kikyo had never been the type to fill their awkward silences with kisses.

"I'm coming back soon, though. I don't know when. I miss it down here. The people are nicer, there's hardly any trouble, and things are just...easier. But you know me. I never take the easy way out." Kikyo said, and he noted the crack in her voice. He opened one eye, he'd had them closed, inhaling her scent as best as he could, but he still hadn't been relaxed.

Because he couldn't hold her like this. That was just always how she seemed, completely untouchable. Like a treasure. Like a gem, like a precious stone, like the moon. Or the sun. Everything you couldn't afford. Everything you didn't deserve, and everything that only deserved the best, and then, he thought of Kagome.

She brushed her fingers against his neck, tears fogging her eyes. "Just so you know, I'm not gonna let a single tear escape."

"Why're you crying?" He asked her. He had never been good at comforting Kikyo. When something went wrong with her, everything went wrong and the girl had a temper. She was calm and reserved, but when angry, her voice sounded like death and could stop you from saying shit to her in seconds.

"I miss us," she told him tenderly.

He hesitated, but he said it back anyway. He didn't miss the arguing, the no sex every night, the fighting, the headaches. But that didn't mean that he didn't miss her, right?

He should have been the happiest man on earth.

He spinned her around so they had switched sides, and it was then that he saw the look in her baby cousin's eyes that stopped his heart. She was actually crying, and nobody had stopped to notice.

He looked away quickly. That definitely wasn't any of his concern.

His eyes were back to Kikyo again, and she was cuddled into his chest. He never got this kind of affection from her, there was something special about this. She looked up at him longingly.

"Kiss me," she told him, her lips suddenly close to his. "Kiss me before I leave. I haven't felt you in forever, I need this."

You didn't want to feel me when you had me. You didn't want me. You didn't want my attention or my concern or my love, and now you want my lips against yours, he thought to himself.

But he kissed her anyway, and when it was over, his eyes were searching for Kagome, but she was already gone, just like Kikyo was. These facts were suddenly chilling.

**XXXXX**

He was insane, he was absolutely out of his mind.

He banged on the door of her apartment, knowing he was going to awaken her and knowing that she would be even more pissed if that was the case.

You see, Kagome had a nice little life. She didn't earn much, but he knew she earned enough to keep food on her table and pay her rent and buy nice things for herself, maybe a little extra now since she was his secretary. But her apartment was nice. Wasn't as big as his, but it was homey. And it felt more like a home than an apartment. It was always neat and in order and always warm and filled with her sweet scent, mixed with the aroma of candles burning, since she loved to burn candles. Said they kept her relaxed, once.

He heard her voice, loud and displeased from inside. He heard Kouga's name, and he heard Kouga's voice.

When he opened the door, Kouga was right there, face to face with him. His features expressed surprise for a mere second before morphing into jealousy, anger, and resentment. Inuyasha had been expecting more. He'd been expecting Kouga to walk out the door with a sappy look on his face, or that cocky ass smirk he hated, or with disheveled hair and clothing. But he was perfectly fine. Just angry. He could've smelled that anger from miles away.

"Kagome, your dog boy is here. Good-fucking-bye!" He yelled to her.

Kagome made a noise, and it reminded him of a child who wasn't getting their way.

"You know," Kouga started. "I really don't fucking get what's so special about you. You broke her heart, right? But still, you get to sleep with her. You get to fuck what has always been mine. It's not yours, never will be, dog shit. She knows her place. She always comes running back." Kouga snarled into his face.

Before he could remark on Kouga's stupidity and inability to see that the girl didn't want him tonight, Kagome was at the door. Red eyes, red nose, hair all over the place, absolutely no makeup and she was still gorgeous.

"Lord, what do you want, Inuyasha? It's almost one in the morning, and as you can see, I'm really not in the mood for this. So goodbye." She told him, attempting to close the door.

He put up a hand to stop her and stepped in. She was in a flimsy nightgown that stopped at her upper thighs, and he saw why Kouga had been trying so hard to get a lay from her tonight.

He wanted her, but if he was going to get her, he couldn't take on his regular aggressive approach. But he slipped up anyway.

"What was that bastard doing here?" He all but snarled, eyes intense in on hers. Honestly, he was trying his best right now to get another lay with her.

"It's not what you think," she turned around, giving him a nice view of her ass underneath that tight-fitting, mouth-watering night gown. "Trust me."

He nodded, taking a look around the place and taking her in body once more. Her raven hair was a curly mess on her head. And then he seen the bruise on her hand, and immediately questioned whether it was Kouga or not.

She took a seat and he watched her the whole way, his eyes intense. "Your hand, did Kouga do that?"

She snapped her head up and met his eyes. "Definitely not. That's never gonna happen. I guess you can say...he encouraged it, to be specific. I have this problem when I'm angry and can't do much about it. I wanted to hit Kouga, but Kouga's a man, and he could hit me back, so I hit the wall instead."

He didn't know what possessed him to take her hand comfortably and observe it, check it's condition. She glared at him as he easily picked her up, sat her on her kitchen counter. She jerked her hand away from him.

"I don't need your help," she hissed, wincing at the bruise that bestowed her hand. It looked pretty bad, but she was okay and she definitely didn't want to be weak in front of Inuyasha anymore, she had already let him see too many of her weaknesses. "What do you need?"

He needed her. He noticed the way her curly hair reached down almost to the middle of her back, he noticed the way her eyebrow furrowed in anger, he noticed the way her nightgown rose up just a bit to provide him with a nice view of her pink, cotton panties. Something simple. No thongs, no makeup, no act to be perfect. He noticed the way the strap of her nightgown slipped down a baby soft shoulder. He felt her heat radiating towards him. He wanted to feel how warm she was from the inside-out. He wanted to smash himself against her and hear her call out his name aggressively. He wanted to fuck her slow, then he wanted to fuck her fast. He wanted to feel her lips on his.

He took her hand back into her grasp, his hand on her warm thigh. But he kept it in his place so she wouldn't be expecting anything. He had to get her to forgive him somehow first if he wanted to get laid tonight. Hell, he needed a lay. He felt as if he was starting to go soft. He looked at it, twisting it around gently to get a better view. "You're just a big baby. Your wrist isn't even sprained. You're going to be okay, it's just swollen. Some ice should make the swelling go down." He told her gently, leaning in a bit closer, his breathing already getting heavier. He was absolutely intoxicated from her scent, and he knew that she wanted him too.

She nearly fell back on the counter trying to get away from him, hurting her hand even more in the process. He wanted to laugh, but he decided it was best not to once he seen the look on her face. She squealed, and held her wrist close to her.

"Oh my god, you made me break it you fucking jerk," she hissed again, and he was starting to think that her hissing sounded quite sexy. "You bastard! You made it worse. Just leave, please."

He heard her voice crack and he took into consideration what Miroku had told him about him hurting her. But that couldn't be true, could it?

She scrambled to get off the counter, in a mad rush to get away from him, but he held her there. Her hand was pounding and she nearly wanted to cry. She wanted to punch Inuyasha. Punch that pretty little face of his off. Then she wouldn't have to hear that mouth and see that damned perfect face.

Slowly, he ran his hand up her bare leg until he reached her inner thighs. He stroked one creamy thigh, and nearly laughed when he heard her sigh in pleasure and shiver slightly. He leaned in close to her, nipping playfully at her ear and his hot tongue tracing the outline.

Kagome snapped out of it, opined her eyes when she felt his fingers teasing with them hem of her underwear. Her breathing was heavy already. "I can't do this," she panted. "I don't want to do this."

"But you do," he muttered, his fingers brushing against her soft skin and making his way up to her night gown, trying to pull it off of her. "Your body's a liar, Kagome."

He heard her sniffle and he looked up. He hadn't realized she was crying, he was too caught up in the scent of her arousal. What was happening tonight? "Stop crying."

She shook her head, tried to push him away weakly. Weakly. He would've said that maybe she was just tired and didn't have the energy to do it, but that wasn't the case. She was in denial and he knew it. She didn't know whether she wanted this or not, but he wanted to give her something to think about.

He pressed his lips against hers softly, holding her arms to keep her from pushing him away. He was careful of her wrist. Soon enough, she started kissing him back. She bet that he could taste the tears on her lips and he did, and he kissed it away.

Kagome didn't mean to, but soon, the real her started coming out. So she kissed him with all that she was feeling, and she knew that she was more than what was hurting her tonight, but still, it hurt. She made him feel her envy, her love, her hate, her everything.

He pulled away, surprised, his breathing erratic, his eyes dark and his mind hazy, and he pressed his lips back against hers, harder. He wanted to feel that again. She wrapped her legs around his waist, and he didn't know what encouraged him to pick her up and carry her into her bedroom, because in any other case, he could have fucked her right there on the kitchen counter.

Maybe he just felt bad for her.

He laid her down on the bed, only to realize she was still crying and her eyes were closed.

This was not the Kagome he knew.

"What's wrong?" He asked as gently as possible.

"Don't look at me," she hissed. "I don't want this. I don't want anything tonight."

"But you do," he told her with a softly and she opened her eyes, wiping tears away. "But we don't have to do this anymore. I'll leave."

Yes, he was pissed off. It would be incredibly hard walking towards the door, as hard as his cock right now. He wanted her, god dammit, and he always got what he wanted. But tonight, he understood. Well, he didn't quite understand, but he was pretty sure that she felt like she was betraying her cousin. And he respected that, but he would have her again sooner or later.

Just as he stood, she grabbed his arm with her good hand and he turned to look at her, his features angry. "Wait, Inuyasha." She told him, sitting up.

She sighed. "I know I'm a bitch, I know I have major mood swings. Kouga, he just made everything worse tonight. He uses me. Everybody uses me. I'm all used up."

He didn't know what to say. It was incredibly awkward with the girl he hated spilling her guts to him over why she was upset. He wanted to pat her head, but she wasn't a dog. He wanted to pat her back and tell her that everything would be okay, but she wasn't a child and only children thought everything would be okay. Adults knew better. But most of all, he wanted to tell her that he wasn't Kouga and that he wasn't using her, but he felt as if he'd be lying to her. So he did the only thing he could think of.

He kissed her again, even though he didn't like kissing Higurashi. And there she was again, pouring everything into that damn kiss. Everything that he hated. But he kissed her back anyway, trying to make it rough, trying to tell her that kisses didn't meant anything, but everything was in her kiss. She made things innocent and hot and heavy all at the same time. She made things sweet, but she made them sultry. She was confusing, she was everything he couldn't understand. She was everything he hated and wanted at the same time.

"I'm not gonna use you," he pulled away, panting heavily. He gulped. Was it bad when you couldn't distinguish whether you were lying to yourself or being completely honest? This whole thing with Higurashi was a bad thing from the start anyway. Too many feelings boiling over, too much hatred that would make you mad if you let it. He lifted her gown over her head. "You want this, don't you? Because I'm not gonna use you tonight. It's not too late for me to leave, or for you to push me away."

She lifted her arms and let him, kissed him again.

He broke away, out of breath again. "You want this, right?"

She didn't smile or smirk. "Just shut up, Takahashi. You talk too much."

He nodded, kissing her again for some stupid reason and he knew it was going to be a horrible night. So she let him unclasp her bra, let him slide her panties off.

And then she let him do it, again and again and again.

**A/N: Well, I wasn't that late, was was I? Thanks for the reviews, you guys, and I hope you're liking it so far. Things are going pretty shitty with All I Need, but I promise I'll try to put up a new chapter of it soon. Anyway, review. Tell me what you like, what you hate, or what you want to see happen next. Love you all, and I'll try to get back with you as soon as possible!**


	9. Differences and Comparisons

Swiftly turning over to his side, he cursed as soon as the sunlight hit his eyes, and as soon as he realized that he was in Kagome's bed again.

He froze, his body tense next to hers. Careful not to put much force on her bed, he sat on the edge to pull his boxers up over his legs and put his pants on. He rubbed at his eyes before he checked the time, and when he realized what time it was, he cursed outloud to himself, forgetting for a split second that she was there.

He turned his head slightly to look at her. That was the thing about Higurashi, you didn't want to look at her too long because you might trick yourself into thinking that you'd found perfection. But ever since high school, he had known there was absolutely nothing perfect about the damned girl, though everybody thought she was the best goddamn thing they'd ever seen.

He was tired of looking at her already. The sheets were down to her waist and her back was completely bare to his eyes, her hair seemed unruly and he was pretty sure that a bit of drool was pooling out the corner of her mouth. Her snores were light and her breathing was heavy and he realized that last night they had really wore each other out. She'd cried and bitched at him to watch out for her ankle, but obviously it wasn't really a problem. Just an excuse, which made him think...

Why did she need an excuse to get out of sex with him? Sure, she worked for him and all but what else did she do with her time? Not shit, last time he checked. It wasn't like he was bad in the sac, he'd had plenty of experience, and judging from the sounds she always made for him when he fucked her, that certainly wasn't a problem. And obviously she hated him, but that wasn't enough to keep her from doing it with him before.

He scowled to himself, running his fingers slightly through his silver locks. Higurashi's, weren't all of 'em a piece of work?

Fuck, he needed a shower. His hair was damp from the night before and he was pretty sure he smelled like sweat and sex, but no way was he taking a shower here. She could wake up at anytime.

And speak of the devil, she did. He watched her as she sat up and stretched.

He relaxed for a while. He could stay for a while, tease her a bit just like he always did, even back in high school.

Covering herself with her robe and tying it tightly around her waist, she turned to give him a dreadful look. "Uh, scram. I'm about to go take a shower. Shouldn't you be off doing something?"

"You got coffee?" He asked, that same smirk on his face. She rolled her eyes. Of course she always hated it when he was a smartass.

"You honestly expect me to make you coffee? I barely even make it for myself, you should know that...and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't want Kikyo calling while you're here. So like I said, scram."

His smile was crooked and the sunlight danced across his eyes and for a second, she confused him as an angel. But he was and always would be the same old jerk of an Inuyasha who had once hurt her so bad she didn't think she could ever get hurt again. The same Inuyasha that had this on and off thing going on with her cousin. "Not a morning person, are you?"

He watched her as she ran her fingers through her hair, hoping to tame some of the wild curls. Quietly she walked into the kitchen and he followed right behind her, all the while his gut telling him that there was something extremely wrong to stay here for just a bit longer.

...he didn't even know why he was, anyway.

She was still pretty as a picture, unruly hair and all. He began to wonder why she had never decided to do something a bit more significant with her life. He was sure she was only good for fucking, but maybe she was good for something else. After all, she was always a straight A student, as far as he could tell. He knew because her cousin, his girlfriend, or ex-girlfriend, whichever one, always bitched and whined about not making as good of grades.

She sighed dreadfully, a yawn coming from her mouth. "If I give you coffee, will you promise to leave? I have shit to do today, and we're not working, so it's a chance to get away from you and not have to see your stupid face, Takahashi."

He smirked, leaning back on her messy bed, showing her that he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. There was something that pleasured him when he pisses her off, made his blood run hot. He wanted to fuck her when she was pissed. He wondered how great the sex would be then.

"Yeah, sure. I'll leave. But I need something to get my day started." He said as he stood to stretch, watching as her eyes admired his body. "Don't drool all over yourself now, Higurashi. You did enough of that in your sleep."

There was something he felt as soon as he finished his sentence. He felt creeped out at the fact that he'd seen her sleeping, seen her bare back as sunlight washed over her body, seen her the morning after with her hair messy and her eyes tired. It was something that he definitely didn't like, and this was the second time it had happened. He was determined that sleeping over would no longer be an option. Fuck, it wasn't even an option to begin with, but still.

"You fucking pig," she muttered, obviously extremely embarrassed judging by the way her cheeks heated up. "I'm going to go take a shower, so you can wait on your fucking coffee. Don't go through my shit, don't even look, don't touch. There's a laptop in the living room if you want to catch up on work or whatever the fuck you do, and you can watch tv if you want. You're lucky I'm being this generous. And put a fucking shirt on while you're at it."

And with that, she turned to make her way into the bathroom, but he didn't miss out on how she stumbled slightly on her own two feet and cursed quietly under her breath. He smirked. He never remembered Higurashi being that clumsy.

Without another word to her, he made his way into her small living room, taking light notice in how neat her place was compared to his. Vogue and Elle magazines were scattered upon her table, but she didn't have dirty dishes littering her place like he did in his. Her apartment was small and simple, but it was warm and homey, and he definitely couldn't ever get used to being here. Next time they were definitely fucking at his place so he could be sure to send her away when they were finished. Maybe her bed was too comfortable. Maybe her apartment didn't seem as dark and lonely as his. He didn't know.

He opened her laptop, quickly getting to work. Something that he liked. Because feelings and work just didn't mix. When he was working, he could take his mind off of how easily Kikyo aggravated him. He could just focus on improving. And then he realized that Kagome and work didn't mix, either. But she was distracting, you know? He hated admitting this, but if anyone had the chance to have sex with someone with the face and body of Kagome Higurashi, who in their right mind would turn that opportunity down? That's the only thing that was nice about her, she was good to look at and good to fuck. However, if only she would let him duct tape her mouth shut, they might be all good...

He had planned on firing her, and despite his dislike for her, he wasn't that heartless. He couldn't fire her knowing that she had nowhere else to go, so he had decided to give it time.

Plus, she wasn't that bad of a secretary. His files always got sent, his coffee was always there, not burnt coffee either. His files were always organized and neat, and his documents were always thoroughly looked over. So maybe she was good for a fuck and good as a secretary. Maybe he'd keep her around.

But then again, that was a bad idea. Kikyo was already suspecting, but why should he care? If he wanted to fuck Kikyo's baby cousin he would, Kikyo had been the one who had decided to end things anyway. But still, he wasn't taking any chances with her finding out about him and Kagome. He had dated Kikyo for years and he knew how quick she was to assume and get mad and cry. That's just it...Kikyo cried about everything to get her way. Whereas the first time he'd seen Kagome cry, he had been so _surprised_.

Kagome had always been the strong one, hands down. Even back when they were just teenagers. Back when they were just kids. Back when he teased her to the point of total damnation, after Kikyo looked her right in her eyes and told her that she'd never be anything better than her. And maybe she wasn't and would never be, because look at Kikyo. Signing contracts that were worth millions, strutting on the stage in front of millions in barely any clothes, taking photoshoots almost every day that made her head bigger and going to places she'd talked about going since they were just kids.

Maybe that's what tore them apart. Their ambition. They both wanted so much to do what was expected of them. He started coming home later and later from work. Kikyo got worried. Kikyo had to work everyday, do photoshoots, make sure she wasn't getting fat and whined if she had even a bit of weight on her, and meet all these male models that he was sure she was fucking, and goddammit, it had all hurt. Falling apart hurt, the trust issues hurt, the way she didn't want him to touch her anymore hurt. She always had a headache. But from the very beginning, he had always known that she could never completely accept him as a half demon, so being worried that she had found herself some scrawny, weak human to fuck had worried him too. To put it at best, he was relieved and falling apart at the same time at the fact that him and Kikyo were done. It had been so hard to deal with not having her there, he was used to her crying, used to her complaining.

But he had never been enough for her, he's always known that. She needed more. More diamonds, more shoes, more clothes, more vacations. It wasn't a problem for him, he was swimming in money and he was still young. But most of the time, he had just wanted her to want him more than diamonds or shoes or clothes or vacations. Maybe he still loved her or maybe he just loved the idea of her. He wasn't sure anymore.

Maybe her and Kagome weren't as alike as he had originally thought. Maybe they weren't alike at all. Maybe because Kagome had always accepted him for what he was even if she did hate his guts now. Maybe because Kagome didn't need diamonds. She was full of herself and a little selfish, but definitely not as bad as Kikyo. Maybe because Kagome was brave. He thought bravery would be standing still while knives were being spun towards your face, maybe jumping off a building. But Kagome was brave in so many more ways. She was brave when Kikyo put her down, brave when he put her down most of the time.

No, they weren't alike at all.

This wasn't working. He rubbed at his temple and yawned. He was tired and he was thinking too much. Work wasn't supposed to make him think about Kagome or Kikyo. It was supposed to help him not think about any of that.

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't even notice her there. He turned to look and smirked to himself. So this is how she usually paraded around her apartment, in sweat pants and a tight tanktop that almost turned into a belly shirt.

Her hair was tied into a messy ponytail, and she had no makeup on her already perfect skin, she never really needed it anyway. Her eyes were tired with bags under them, most likely from staying up with him all night. But still, there was something about seeing Higurashi natural that was quite sexy to him. Yes, of course she was sexy, she would always be that. But seeing her like this, she was beautiful. Not gorgeous or just pretty, but beautiful. And he didn't know what it was about a girl with no makeup and no dressy or stylish clothes and a sloppy ponytail and mismatching socks that made her beautiful, but she was.

"You want anything to eat?" she asked softly as she made her way into her little livings room, not even bothering to spare him a glance.

He stuck out a dark, handsome brow and she finally looked at him and rolled her eyes. "I'm just trying to be friendly. Don't feel like arguing this morning. And I figured that since I was about to eat, you'd want something too, in case you're hungry. I'm not that much of a bitch, you know."

Still, he couldn't help but look quizzically at her. She ignored him, making her way into the kitchen. "Do you like eggs?"

"Sure, yeah," he muttered, and he knew she picked up on it because he saw her give a slight shake of his head. He hurriedly looked back at her laptop, trying to get back to his work but knowing that he couldn't when she was around. He wasn't exactly hungry for eggs anymore, he just wanted her. He wanted to rip her sweatpants off, take her panties off with his teeth, have his way with her right on the counter. They had time. But he desperately wanted to get back to work, he had to get caught up. But now, he was getting a headache and he couldn't help but draw his eyes back on her figure.

The smell of strong coffee hit his nose, and he looked up to see her bring a cup to him and then return to the stove to finish cooking.

His dick was already hard, he couldn't get her out of his mind, or the things that he wanted to do to her out of his mind. God, she had to hurry. He really just wanted to go home. And then what? He'd take a million cold showers. Girls shouldn't be this attractive when wearing sweatpants.

He couldn't focus on work, now. It was extremely bad having her around.

"Here you go," she said absently, setting a plate down in front of him. There were scrambled eggs piled on his plate, a piece of toast and two pieces of bacon. But he didn't want that, he wanted her.

He was acting ridiculous. But she was turning out to be quite addictive, almost as addictive as ramen.

In minutes he finished his whole plate, and there she was on the couch, her plate in her lap, half finished, and smiling at cartoons on the tv. He rolled his eyes at her, she was so immature. Had she always been like this? But he didn't know what else to do, so he sat beside of her, completely uninterested in what was playing on the television. She spared him a glance.

"You're done already?" She asked incredulously.

He simply nodded his head, turning his attention back to the television.

"Uh, well...there's more if you want. But you should be leaving soon, huh?" She asked, and he could almost feel how tense and nervous she was. Was she trying to get rid of him? It wasn't like he wanted to stay, but he just wanted to have her again. He figured it would help him start out his day a lot better if he had her underneath him or on top of him one more time since he wouldn't be seeing her tomorrow. It was her day off.

"Yeah." He answered.

"Uh, um..." she quickly leaped to her feet. "I...I'm done so...maybe you should get going?"

She tripped over own feet but caught herself, and he rolled his eyes. Why was she so nervous? Usually, she'd initiate the moves on him first. Higurashi was weird in the morning.

She hurried and got his plate, taking hers too, and went to the sink, cutting on the water pretty fast and he followed behind her.

His hand running down her side, he felt her freeze and shiver from his touch. Kagome felt as if she was going to burst into flames. He molded her form into his from behind, and she felt his hard pressing against her lower back and she quickly turned around.

"Inuyasha-" she only called him Inuyasha when she was serious. But he could tell that she wanted this from the way her scent was spiking.

He buried his nose into the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent. He'd always loved her scent, for some reason it was calming to him. It could be his therapy if he wanted it to. Without any warming, he kissed her neck, his hand dipping into her pants and running a finger around the edge of her panties before slipping down into them. Her lips parted for a moan.

"Inuyasha..." She whispered, and his blood boiled. He kissed her, stopped her from going any farther.

"Can we just not have that right now? Let's just have _this_," he whispered back, hands giving her backside a rough squeeze before moving down to her thighs, hoisting her up and sitting her down on the counter as he began to suck on her neck, his hand moving up to grope her breast.

"Not on my fucking counter." She panted out, her hand snaking into his pants to cup him. He was hard and heavy in her hand, and his gasp made her gasp and his hips automatically began thrusting. Her little hand squeezed around him, feeling how hard he was for her and she'd never felt dirtier in her whole life.

"Fuck, Kagome," he whispered. "Right here," he smirked, his lips meeting hers, drawing her bottom lip into his mouth and sucking on the full softness before his tongue met hers in a hot battle. His hands were going everywhere, and she was all he could think of. Kagome, Kagome, Kagome. She began unbuckling his belt as she bit his lip softly, moaning as his tongue reached the roof of her mouth. "Right here, right on the fucking counter. Now. You're fucking mine." He whispered into her ear and she shivered, hands running up his bare chest and moaning as his muscles tensed underneath her fingertips.

With a growl, her sweatpants were ripped almost to shreds and she made a sound of protest as her panties went with them. Roughly, he pulled her shirt over her head, thinking that this had to be the hottest sex ever as she finally undid his pants, her small hand doing wonders on his cock. He had almost ripped her bra to shreds, too, and obviously she didn't care. Her arousal was right there, driving him fucking insane. He was scorching hot.

With a feral growl, he grabbed her by her thighs, pulling her forward harshly and she wanted to glare at him, but all she could do was encourage him with her moans. She couldn't help it. He leaned down briefly to meet her lips again, something he couldn't help, either. His kiss was hard, and hers was passionate, and it scared him but he only wanted more and more of her.

He thrust into her, his head falling back as he fit into her tightness, this was what he had been waiting for. A few things fell off the counter, but she didn't seem to mind. He pulled out, pulling down to kiss her again because he felt like he needed to. He winced a little as she bit hard into his lip, almost drawing blood, but it all felt too good. Moving his hands up to grope her breasts and play with her hardened nipples, he gripped her thighs again, claws almost digging into her flesh. She moaned, that only made her want him more.

She shivered in anticipation and pleasure as he slowly grinded the head of his cock against her clit, and without any hesitation, he slid into her again. She cried out, her knuckles turning white as she gripped the edge of the counter. She could barely take this anymore.

He began pounding into her and her sweet cries were music to his sharp ears. Every breath she made, the way her bare breasts bounced as he pounded into her, the way she tried to spread her legs wider and the way she squirmed, it was all almost too much for him to take. He never remembered sex feeling so good, and it was right then that he realized he was screwed and addicted to all that Kagome had to offer, and that definitely wasn't good.

He didn't miss the way she moaned his name softly, or the way she glanced up at him a second before he found that spot inside of her again, forcing her to close her eyes in what looked like pain, but he knew it was far from that. He thrust into her hard, his pace getting a bit slower. He looked at her, just wanting her to say his name like that again.

"Say it," he smirked, his hand slowly running up her body to toy with a nipple and she thrust her hips up and moaned, showing him what she wanted. "Say my name again."

She panted, not being able to take his torture anymore. So just like that, she said his name and lost it in a moan as he began to pound into her again and again. She never remembered him feeling so good inside of her, she could get addicted to the feeling of him, which was definitely a bad thing. But she knew she had gone way too far now to ever deny him, no matter how bad she felt for it.

"Fuck," he panted, and she gasped as he kept hitting that spot over and over again till she couldn't take it anymore. He shuddered as he felt her walls clench around his cock, she was so tight and wet and warm and he couldn't get enough. He swallowed her scream as he pressed his lips against hers again, moaning into her mouth. She reached a hand forward, tugging on his silver locks hard, knuckles turning white again.

He fell against her, panting heavily in her ear. She could barely catch her breath, and she frowned slightly, knowing that she'd need another shower and to clean her counters after the mess they'd made.

"Again," he panted into her ear.

"Are you serious-" but before she could finish her sentence, he was already moving inside of her again, making her heart pound inside of her chest, and she was cut off with a loud moan.

"Aah, Inuyasha. My fucking back." She panted. She couldn't get comfortable, her back had already been aching her before.

He growled, pausing before he smirked at her. And without any warning, he lifted her up, her legs around his waist. He chuckled at the little squeak that she gave from his actions, but she didn't seem to mind.

He didn't even make it to the couch, he needed to be inside of her again. Funny how his dick couldn't stay down five minutes around her.

He fucked her hard and slow, teasing her a little bit as his hand came around to her front to play with her clit. He took his time, but she didn't seem to mind from the way she moaned and cried out for him, panting his name every once in a while which caused him to get a little violent.

Somewhere way back in his mind, he had promised himself that no more would he compare her to Kikyo, but he didn't ever say he wouldn't notice the differences between them.

Kagome definitely wasn't passive, she responded every time you touched her. She would let you know what she liked and didn't like. She fucked back, it wasn't just him doing the work. She never held back, and she knew what she was doing. Not that Kikyo didn't, but Kagome did it much better. She was vocal to everything. She didn't hold anything back and he could fuck her over and over again just to hear the noises that and see the faces that she made. And she was nice to look at. She wasn't a skinny stick, she was curvaceous. There was definitely a lot of ass to grab, and she had really nice boobs. And he really needed to stop noticing the differences, it was making him think more and more of how Kikyo was during sex with him and it was turning him off.

"Faster, I won't break," she panted, looking back at him with a smirk on her pretty little lips that made his blood boil.

If she wanted all of him and if she wasn't breakable, she'd get all of him. After all, the bitch thought she could handle it. He bit his lip hard as he smacked her ass, taking pleasure in the way it turned red to his touch and the sound it made, and she cried out, music to his ears. He was moving at an incredible speed now, and he watched in wonder as her back arched and she buried her face into the carpet, her fingernails digging into the material.

"Fuck, Inuyasha!" She cried out and he pounded even harder into her, almost howling as she slammed her hips back to meet his. He wanted to howl out, he wanted Kouga, Bankotsu, and anybody else she had been with to hear the way she cried out for him, to see the way she fucked him back, greedily taking all that she could. He wanted them to know that he was the one who was pleasing her like no other had, he wanted them to know that he owned her. He wanted to mark her. He wanted to cum. And then he wanted to fuck her some more.

He grabbed her ponytail roughly, jerking it back so that he could nip at her ear, nip at her neck. He had to get himself under control. "You like it?" He whispered in her ear, his breathing erratic and labored.

"Fuck, Yash, keep going." She cried out, fingers still digging into the carpet. That wasn't enough for him so he reached around and started rubbing her clit furiously again until he felt her tighten around him, clenching on to him as her eyes watered and as she cried and screamed out, her back arching as her orgasm ripped through her. She heaved forward, face falling into the carpet again and her whole figure shaking.

Two, three more thrusts and he was coming inside of her, a near scream ripped from his throat. Without being able to help it, he fell against her, barely able to catch his breath. To his side, Kagome laid there, figure still shaking.

Without any thought, really, he pulled her close to him, his length still inside of her. "I didn't make you have a seizure, now did I?" He panted, a little humor in his voice. He had to move soon, get up and get away before he ended up spending the rest of the day here. Hopefully, this would be enough to satisfy him for the rest of the day so he could think of her without his dick getting painfully hard.

"That...that was...that was fucking mind blowing," she whispered to him.

"I know," he muttered. And now he really had to leave. "Get up and go take a nap or something. After all, you're a scrawny human and you need it."

"Of course you have to ruin this by speaking. I'm not a fucking demon, I can't just get up right now. My legs are weak."

"I'm sure they are," he smirked a little and she rolled her eyes. "I'm leaving." And Kagome watched in horror as he stood and pulled his clothes on like it was nothing. Wasn't he tired? Weren't his legs a little weak? She watched as he turned back to give her a smirk. "Thanks for the...um...breakfast." He chuckled, closing the door behind him.

She stood on her shaky legs, feeling as if she could just go to sleep on the floor. But she wanted a shower, and she wanted to put on a new pair of panties and a new pair of sweatpants since they lay on the floor in shreds. Then she needed to clean the counters. Possibly clean the carpet.

And then she was going to sleep like a fucking baby for the rest of the day.

**XXXXX**

"Rin, you're acting ridiculous," Sesshomaru told his mate, his wife, his love cooly.

"But you said you'd help come up with a name, Sesshy," Rin frowned at her husband. She should really be getting sleep, as he had told her. The pregnancy had already began to work on her, making her extremely fatigued and nauseous most of the time. And she knew she was tired now, but she wanted his approval and his opinions.

"There will be other times for this, do you not think that you need your rest?" He asked her seriously, placing a hand over hers. They were in their bedroom, Sesshomaru leaned against the headboard and Rin laying on her aching back, her soon-to-be-swollen feet in his lap.

"You know what?" she asked quietly. "Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who really cares that we just got married and that we're having a child. It's like you're all cool and calm and collected and I'm just a total mess. You're acting like this is your third kid or something, and I just don't understand-"

The best way to silence Rin was to shower her with kisses, he had learned that after being with her for four years. So that's exactly what he did.

Rin knew that he barely showed this kind of affection, especially in public, so every single time he did, she took advantage of it. She leaned forward, wrapping her arms around his neck and suddenly happier than ever.

Most of the time she wanted to stay up talking, so he did just that with her. The woman talked about silly things most of the time, things so silly that he had to crack a smile. She loved it when Sesshomaru smiled. She felt obliged to be the only one to make him smile. Obliged to be the only one see him smile. He was the complete opposite of her but she'd never found someone who could make her so happy.

"Now, tell me, woman. If you give me a son, what would be his name?" He just asked her because he wanted to make his mate happy, show her that he did care, and that he cared about his child and his wife more than he had ever cared about anything else.

Rin's face lit up as her smile reached her eyes. "I want him to have a strong name, if we have a son at all, you know. We could have another little Rin taking over the place."

He smiled at this too, very much liking the idea of having a little Rin.

"It will come when the time is right," he assured her, really wanting to soothe her so she could get some rest.

Rin yawned. "Yeah. Hey, Sesshy, don't you think Inuyasha and Kagome would be nice together?"

She closed her eyes, obviously completely worn out.

"That's the silliest thing that I've ever heard you say, Rin." He told her quietly.

"Nah, they're perfect for each other, I think. I...I think they have potential, something about the way they look at each other."

With another yawn, she fell fast asleep.

With a small smile, he pulled her close. Yes, that was definitely the most silly thing his mate had ever said. And maybe the truest, too.

He quietly tucked her in bed, and then he layers beside of her and wondered what their future would hold.

**XXXXX**

"Oh my god," Sango said excitedly as she clapped her hands. "How was it? It had to be amazing. You're fucking glowing like a changed woman."

Kagome rolled her eyes. "I am not glowing, and it was alright. The usual."

Sango snorted as she flipped through another magazine page, nibbling on a carrot with her feet up on Kagome's table. "Yeah, right. You've been in a really good mood all day. With a body like Inuyasha's, how dare you try to tell me that the sex was just 'alright?'"

Kagome's face broke into a big smile as she put her earrings in and then started working on her shoes. "Alright, it was amazing. I've never felt anything like it. He can't measure up to anyone I've ever been with, even if you put them all together. I couldn't even walk straight, my legs were all shaky. He was...he was amazing, Sango. I can't even put it into words."

Sango raised her brow at the rather explicit information before covering her eyes and squealing like a teenager, laughing. Kagome laughed with her. "And this time, he wasn't even much of a jerk. No comparisons or anything. Lord, Sango. He's never been that good before, nothing could measure up to it."

"Alright, so what about the part where you're in love with him? You think you can keep doing this?"

Kagome just smirked, applying mascara on her lashes. "It's not exactly love. I hate him way more than I love him. It doesn't hurt."

"No, it's just that you're into mindless sex now which is totally _not_ cool, Kagome," Sango told her seriously. "I think you're letting him use you."

Kagome paused and turned around. "Last night, before we had sex, I cried in front of him. Kouga came over, wanting to use me again. Then Inuyasha came. I twisted my ankle a little, right, and the next thing I know, his hand is moving up my legs. I told him I was used up. He said he wasn't going to use me. That's a lie. We're fucking. He uses me to get Kikyo off his mind. He uses me to make him cum. But you know what? Lie or not, that's the nicest thing a guy has ever said to me."

Sango's jaw dropped. "Hold up, he actually said that? Even if it was a lie, I still can't believe he said that."

Kagome nodded in agreement as she gave herself a once-over in the mirror. "Mom's going to hate my outfit, but I really don't care. What do you think?"

Her best friend rolled her eyes and Kagome smirked. "You're fucking hot, as always. Do you really need approval?"

"Not really," Kagome answered.

"You don't think Inuyasha's gonna be there, do you? I mean, your mom is inviting his parents over for dinner and all, you don't think things will go bad and he'll actually show up, do you?"

"Nah," Kagome shook her head. "He should be home, you know he's not gonna be there. He's a workaholic. He's probably at home with his eyes glued to the computer screen."

"Well, be careful and be safe, alright?" Sango told her.

"Yeah, I've got it." Kagome said, grabbing a leather jacket and running a hand through her thick, wavy hair. "Stay as long as you feel like it, or go back home to go check on your dear husband, it doesn't matter to me. Love you, Sango!"

Sango shook her head with a small smile on her face before muttering an I love you too.

**XXXXX**

"Inuyasha, honey, please come. This is important, honey. Me and Mrs. Higurashi haven't talked in forever! And your brother and Rin have an important announcement they'd like to share with us tonight!" His mother squeaked through the phone, and he growled.

Obviously she sometimes forgot that he was a half-demon with extremely sensitive hearing.

"Mother, please calm down. I can hear you perfectly fine." Inuyasha told her, rubbing at his temples and taking a deep breath. She was lucky she was his mother, otherwise, he would have yelled back.

"Well, I already know what you're planning on saying, and Inuyasha, we need you there," his mother told him, her voice pleading. "I want all of my boys there, this is a special occasion, after all. Rin is dying to tell me whatever she wants to tell me, and I'm sure she wouldn't want her brother-in-law to miss out."

He was sure that his mother was holding the phone up to her ear right now with a horrible smirk on her face. She was up to something. Sure, she always wanted him around at events like these, but there was something sinister in her mind, and he couldn't shake that feeling no matter how hard he tried.

"Mother, I'm pretty sure it's not that important...you can just tell me the news when you get back, and I'll congratulate her. And you can give Mrs. Higurashi a kiss on the cheek for me, okay?" Inuyasha asked, his head suddenly hurting.

He did not want to see Kagome Higurashi. Like he wasn't thinking about her enough, and it was driving him insane.

"If Kikyo was there, I'm sure you'd come." Mrs. Takahashi said blatantly. "I've never understood what you saw in that girl."

Inuyasha sighed, feeling as if his world was crashing down. "I won't be there, mother. I have better things to do tonight."

Yeah, like thinking of how hard he'd fucked Kagome this morning and how his dick got hard every time he even thought about the way she looked.

"Kagome will be there." He heard his mother say matter-of-factly, and god, he could almost taste how bad his mother wanted something to happen between the two of them. He rolled his eyes.

"And what does that have to do with me?" He asked her, his voice completely uninterested. He already knew this. He was trying to avoid this. The girl might just drive him mad. Her name even being brought up brung his cock up, too, and he couldn't get over how good the sex had been this morning.

It scared him, he was starting to sound like a fucking chick, for gods sake. He honestly didn't want to see her. He felt as if he didn't get his hormones under control, he'd just jump her from across the table and fuck her on it, too, right while dinner was being served and while their parents watched.

"Young man, you have no choice." His mother told him sternly and he found himself rolling his eyes again.

"You can't force me. I'm not a kid anymore, I'm a grown man. I can do what I want with my time and if I don't want to go to some stupid dinner with the stupid goddamn Higurashi's to see that Higurashi girl's stupid face and Sesshomaru's stupid ugly face, then I won't go!" He knew he was acting like a five year old having a little temper tantrum because he couldn't get what he wanted, but dammit, he wouldn't be hungry for food, he'd be hungry for Kagome.

His mother just didn't realize how fucking scared he was because this was happening to him and it creeped him out.

He heard her sniffling on the other end, and he closed his eyes in an attempt to pray to all the gods that would listen to him to fly away, but when he opened his eyes he winced and his ears twitched at the sob that emanated from the phone.

He hated it when his mom cried.

"Mother, please don't do this-"

"I-I just wanted all my boys there. I just wanted you to stop being so distant. I-I wanted you to at least try to forget whatever happened between you and Kagome in the past and start fresh again. I-I wanted you to be there in person to hear your sister-in-law. I wanted to spend time with you, but no, you're too busy for a simple dinner at the Higurashi's. Inuyasha Takahashi, tell me why you're so set on refusing to go. Is it something I did?" His mother snuffled into the phone, sobbing every once in a while and of course, the shit was getting to him.

"Mom, okay, just stop. I had to finish up some of my work when I got home, but I'll be there. I'll be there, okay? Now, please stop crying. Please." Inuyasha muttered, wishing he had a gun close to him.

"O-okay. I love you, Inuyasha! See you at 8:00! Like I taught you, be on time. And dress nicely. I want you on your best behavior and I want to see you make a good impression."

Sighing to himself, he realized exactly what his mother was up to, and Kagome flashed into his his mind again. He stood to go to the bathroom.

One cold shower down, probably a million more to go.

**XXXXX**

"And just what do you think you're wearing, Kagome Higurashi?" Her mother asked as she looked her up and down, one hand on her hip and the other sticking out a finger disapprovingly. "Take that off, right now. I raised you better than that!"

Kagome sighed, leaning against the counter and rolling her eyes before sending a small smirk her mother's way. "It makes me look hot, if you haven't noticed, mother." Kagome gave her a little smile. Her jacket was off, and knowing it would piss her mom off, she did a little twirl for her, being sure to shake her ass a little. "It's a dress. A beautiful dress."

Her mother shook her head, smiling a little at her first born's antics as she went back to chopping her vegetables. "You look like a beautiful young woman, Kagome. It shows off your lovely figure, but I just wish that it wasn't so...so...so _showy_."

"You know, it's totally cool to say slutty, I wouldn't take any offense," Kagome joked again as she began helping her mother set the plates and silverware.

"Maybe you should have spent more time around your Jii-Chan when growing up."

"I turned out perfectly fine," Kagome retorted as she finished the table. "Momma, I am so hungry. I wish you lived with me so you could cook for me."

"I taught you to cook for yourself, if I'm not mistaken. And you're always welcome, even if it's two in the morning, you just don't have the time to visit your mother anymore."

Kagome shook her head, grabbing a carrot from the chopping board and nibbling on it. "No, it's not that. But for the first time ever, I've got a real job. And it gets hard sometimes, like, really hard."

"You always make time for your family, dear," her momma finished, a small smile on her face as she patted her hands on her apron and rushed over to the stove. "How is it going for you, anyway, dear?"

"It's been pretty good," Kagome told her. "At least I'm busying myself."

Mrs. Higurashi looked at her daughter strangely. "You're not pregnant, now, are you, dear?"

Kagome swore the carrot got stuck in the back of her throat and she started coughing so loud that she was sure her throat would rip into pieces. "No way! Momma, please don't ever say that again! I am definitely not pregnant!"

Mrs. Higurashi smiled. "I don't mean to pry, dear, but you're having sex, I know you are. You're glowing and you're in a great mood. You look like you just won a million dollars. So tell me, are you in love again? When do I get to meet this new boyfriend of yours?"

"Don't have a boyfriend," Kagome said quietly, starting to feel slightly guilty. She didn't want to hear momma's accusations. "And I'm using protection, so don't freak out on me. And it's just one person."

Momma didn't freak out as much as Kagome had originally expected. She just shook her head slightly, continuing chopping the vegetables. "I guess grandchildren are out of the question, huh?"

"Definitely," Kagome muttered. "Kids are cute and sweet when they want to be. But then they can be the meanest things you've ever seen. I don't want kids."

"You'd be a great mother some day, Kagome." Her momma said as she dumped the vegetables on the cutting board into a big pot that was simmering away on the stovetop.

Kagome snorted. "How can you tell?"

"You can always look at a woman and see if she'd be a great wife or mother from the way she treats her baby brother. You're a great sister," Mrs. Higurashi noted, a smile on her face. "You'll want them someday. You'll get lonely and start wondering about the little pitter patter of tiny feet rubbing on hard-wood floors. You'll want someone that will love you no matter what, and someone that will love you just as unconditionally as you love them. Sometimes love is strange. You can be in love with someone and it will fall apart harder than you fell for them. But when you bring a child into the world, or even if it's just any other family that you're close to, that love can't be broken."

"I'm too selfish," Kagome said bluntly.

"Perhaps," her mother said. "But you'll see one day. You'll see."

"You're really going out this time, aren't you?" Kagome asked dully, tracing patterns with slender fingers along the silky tablecloth.

"Well, me and Izayoi were always close, you know that. I wanted to have a nice dinner and just...catch up. It's always nice to have a good friend like Izayoi, dear." Mrs. Higurashi told her.

"Yeah, but Sesshomaru can be a bit of a prick-" Kagome was cut off by her mother.

"Kagome! That language!" Her mother scolded, turning around so fast that the young woman half expected that she'd slap her with a wet rag.

"I'm twenty-two, Momma, just in case you haven't noticed," Kagome stated, biting back a snicker.

"Who taught you to speak like that?" Her mother asked with a disapproving shake of her head.

"Well, I don't speak any other languages." Kagome gave an innocent smile to her mother.

Mrs. Higurashi shook her head once again, but Kagome caught the way the corner of her lip curved up slightly. "Well, let's talk. We have a while until they arrive."

Kagome nodded, not exactly knowing what to talk about. It wasn't awkward, she'd always been very close to her mother, but there were some things she couldn't tell her. She didn't want her disappointment or pity. That would make her feel like she was nothing.

She hadn't been this happy in a while. Souta was probably in his room playing games like any other twelve year old, gramps was in the living room, falling asleep to his favorite game show. The house was just as clean as she remembered it, and she was thankful she had her own place so she didn't have to stick around to help Momma with the responsibilities that came along with running the shrine. There was a lot of work to be done, and she winced just thinking about those horrid days.

The food Momma was cooking smelled so delicious and her mouth was watering, her stomach growling for what she hasn't tasted in forever. And it was warm and particularly comfortable. Sitting here with her momma in the kitchen gave her the good kind of nostalgia where she was just a kid without a worry in the world. From arguing with Souta, telling him he was taking too long in the bathroom and telling him to knock on her door first. From listening to Gramps stories of the Feudal Era, a time that was filled with war but then again, it struck so much interest into her, not that she'd ever tell him that. From the smell of her mother's cooking, and from the warmth she felt by just being close to her mother.

You drew a map around your loneliness, you didn't draw other people in.

"So, you've got yourself a nice job finally, one that brings you enough income to support yourself. You seem to be taking care of yourself, your body is in good condition and your teeth are white. But there's one thing, Kagome Higurashi. I want a son-in-law. And I want grandchildren. And since Souta is hardly hitting puberty and more into video games than he is girls, I hope you know that I have faith in you," her Momma told get jokingly, but Kagome felt sick.

Talks like these scared her. Back when she was a kid, she'd really thought her future would consist of more than just sex and a job that she could hardly handle. She had always wanted to be comfortable by twenty-five. You know, a nice job, big white house with a picket fence, a pool, a dog, maybe two kids, and a loving husband. But none of that had happened and she highly doubted it would over a course of just three years. Sure, Inuyasha paid her well, in money and in sex. But there had to be more than money and sex.

But what if she never got over Inuyasha? What if she never moved on? What if she never learned the true meaning of self-respect? She'd always thought that self-respect meant making choices that made you happy. Then why did she feel empty and confused after sex with Inuyasha? Why did she ever love him knowing she'd end up hurt? Why couldn't she have ended up with a nice man like Hojo? He was going to be a doctor. He had all the education that he needed, and his heart was one of the biggest she had ever seen.

So the question was why. Why this life?

"It's not particularly easy, Momma. I'm busy with work most of the time. And plus, I'm just not a relationship type of person."

"That scares me a bit." Mrs. Higurashi muttered.

"Lord, Momma!" Kagome nearly shouted. "Get that out of your head. I'm not a prostitute or anything like that. I'm not on drugs. I'm not partying my life away. I just have to get a few more priorities straight before I even think about stuff like that. Do you not realize that twenty-two is really young?"

"Well, dear-" Mrs. Higurashi was cut off by the doorbell. She stood to get it, but Kagome stopped her. She was excited to see Rin, and Mr. and Mrs. Takahashi.

Kagome opened the door and her jaw dropped.

There stood Inuyasha with a frown on his face.

**XXXXX**

Dinner was quite awkward. He should've been expecting this. The others didn't even seem to notice the tension between the two. And what was worse was the fact that she was seated right across from him, her eyes remaining down on her plate as she plucked her food around with her fork.

While everyone else was chattering away, she was quiet as a mouse, not even saying anything when her brat of a brother, who was most likely his most favorite brat, commented on her dress, saying that she looked like one of those girls that he sometimes saw out on the street.

She had blushed bright red, and her eyes caught his and held them for a second or two and any smile he had of amusement had diminished as soon as he seen the stony look she gave him. It only seemed to make his slacks feel a bit tighter. He'd never been attracted to someone like that before, and it was fucking torture.

She was so fucking hot in that little dress she was wearing. He wanted her to follow him to the bathroom so that he could push her up against the wall and fuck her while she gripped onto his tie. He wanted to fuck her until he cummed again and again. He shoved down his food, hungry for something else all the while. Hungry for her body, hungry for the beautiful sounds she made.

Sesshomaru obviously knew what was going on, and he'd get hell for it later on. But he didn't care. And he didn't care as his father exchanged looks at the two of him, trying hard to contain his surprise. He felt his claws digging into the wooden table the way he wanted to dig into her hips, bend her over and smack her nice ass, then fuck her hard and long until he heard her crying out for him again, her head thrown back in pleasure.

He was hungry for her lips on his cock, he wondered if she was good at those kinds of things. Of course she would be, she was good at everything else. He wondered how far she'd take his cock into that pretty little mouth of hers. He wondered if she'd moan while her lips were wrapped around it. He wanted to take her by her long hair and push her head down on his cock. Make her choke a bit. That was always nice. He wanted to eat from between her breasts, from the surface of her stomach, from between her thighs. He wanted to taste her and kiss her hard.

A quicky was out of question. He wanted to fuck her for hours on top of hours. He groaned out loud.

"You must really enjoy my cooking," Mrs. Higurashi joked lightly, snapping him out of his thoughts.

_Your cooking is enjoyable, but your daughter is delicious._

His pants were so tight he felt an ache in his balls. The smell of her arousal was light, but to him it was right there, like a fucking smack in the face.

_Kagome Kagome Kagome..._

He gulped down the rest of his food quickly, feeling as if he was tipsy. His head was reeling from the scent of her, and he'd be pissed at her if she just left him like this. He'd fuck her right in front of her mother if his life depended on it. He broke out into a very light sweat.

_She's fucking dangerous. She's like a fucking drug. What is she doing to me?_

Sesshomaru and Rin had made their announcement now, and it hadn't surprised him at all. He could already smell the pup on her before she even knew.

Kagome seemed to know, too, as she gave a knowing smile. Souta gave Rin a high-five, which made her laugh.

Inuyasha had never been more anxious to leave.

Dinner was done, it was over with. He looked at Kagome hungrily as she began gathering plates. She was in this little dress with an empire waist. It stopped a few inches above her knees in the front, and he guessed that she'd made sure that it didn't look too flashy in the front. But the dress was almost backless, so he could see all the curves in her back. The dress flowed down in the back, reaching her ankles. She had on these sexy, black studded high heels and he imagined fucking her in them.

His desert was right in front of him.

But of course Kagome's mother decided that they stick around a bit longer, and Rin explained how fatigued and sick her pregnancy made her feel, so of course, they had the easy way out.

Inuyasha, on the other hand, didn't even have an option.

"Mom, I'm going to bed," he heard Kagome's little brother announce. "Inuyasha, maybe you should come around a lot more so you can play video games with me like you used to." Souta suggested lightly, and he swore he heard Kagome groan.

"Sure, kid," he said with a genuine smile. Souta had always been the less crazier one of the Higurashi's, and believe it or not, he'd always had a soft spot for the kid.

"Are you spending the night, Kagome?" Souta asked his big sister impatiently.

"Can't, kiddo. I've got work tomorrow," she pulled him into a hug, kissing his head.

She'd be a good mother, Inuyasha thought quietly to himself, not knowing where the thought came from but definitely not completely appalled by it.

What's wrong with me?

"Make sure you brush your teeth and comb your hair. No more video games." Kagome told him sternly, completely unaware that Inuyasha was watching the whole scene.

"I'm not five anymore," he pushed her away. "Stop treating me like a kid, _mother_ _bear._"

And with that, Souta was up the steps.

When she turned around, she seemed surprised to see him there. He took a step closer, seeing that there was just as much lust in her eyes as there was in his. She took a step back, against the the counter now. He swore he could hear how fast her heart was beating.

He leaned down to whisper in her ear, pressing against her as hard as he could so she could see what she'd done to him. "I've been like this _all day_," he nearly snarled into her ear, and the smell of her arousal spiked even more, making him let out an almost needy whimper. "I hate you _so_ much."

Kagome couldn't help but melt into him, her hand reaching in between them just to feel how hard he was. "I hate you too," she gasped, and he groaned lowly so that their parents wouldn't hear them. "Seems like you want something you can't have, am I right, Inuyasha?"

Her hand began moving faster, her hold tightening around him and it took everything he had not to push her against the counter and fuck her hard like he'd did earlier that morning.

Her thumb gently rubbed around the tip, smirking as she felt the sticky pre-cum on her fingers. He moaned lightly, his hand finding its way to her ass, to her inner thighs, to that wet spot between them. "I really fucking hate you, Higurashi. Matter of fact, I...I-"

Her hand began moving at an incredible speed, squeezing around him and circling the tip again. He growled, his orgasm approaching him fast. "Ah, _fuck_, Kagome," he whispered and growled at the same time. And right when he was about to, she pulled her hand away, earning a loud growl from him that she silenced with her lips. He didn't respond back. She bit his lower lip softly before sucking on it, her tongue brushing against his.

"Try explaining _that_ to your parents," she smirked and looked down to the huge bulge in his pants.

She began to walk upstairs to her old room, he supposed, but he grabbed her roughly, mashing his lips hard against hers to show her that she had pissed him off. He bit her lip harshly, almost drawing blood and she moaned into his mouth, her hips grinding against his and she almost had him seeing stars.

He pulled away, his forehead touching hers as he cupped her jaw roughly. "What the _fuck_ are you doing to me, Higurashi?"

She pressed her lips against his again, softly. She'd never kissed him like this before. She put everything she was feeling into it, and it most certainly left him speechless. She pulled away, just for him to mash his lips against hers again, but it was gone and he wanted to feel it again.

"I could do a _whole_ lot more things to you," she said with a smile. "But just wait on it."

She tried to pull away again, but he wouldn't let her. "I wanna taste you. I wanna make you cum. Kagome, _please_."

Her heart and stomach did a few flip-flops and she realized how stupid she was. That wasn't the kind of statement that was supposed to make your stomach do flip-flops and your heart skip a few beats.

"Your room, right now." His voice was raspy, his eyes so dark.

"Inuyasha, our parents. I'm pretty sure your dad is already suspecting. And I know for a fact Souta's not sleep yet and-"

"Fuck, just shut your fucking mouth." He told her hastily, his teeth nipping at her neck. "You're really a bitch. You know that?"

She couldn't give a heated throw back because she felt like melting butter. They had to stop. Or find somewhere where they wouldn't get caught.

"Mom," Kagome called out. "Souta wants me and Inuyasha to play video games with him before he goes to bed. He promised to go to bed if we did, so it won't be long."

"Yeah, okay," he heard her mother call back and he chuckled in amusement. Was that the best excuse she had? Her voice was laced with lust and he already knew he'd have to do a lot of explaining soon to his father, but it wasn't like he'd tell his mother. "Me and Izayoi would like to spend a bit more time talking anyway."

Kagome didn't even respond, just grabbed Inuyasha's hand and hastily began up the stairs. And he knew he shouldn't have been thinking about the way her small hand fit into his big one, or about how soft her hand was, or about how warm it was.

As soon as they were in the old room that he'd been in so many times as a kid, she locked the door behind her and nearly pounded on him, her mouth moving against his in a passionate dance. But it wasn't like that kiss in the kitchen.

"Fuck," he growled out as he slipped and fell back onto her bed, bringing her along with him. She giggled. "Shut the fuck up and take that damn dress off."

She smirked, on top of him now, pulling his shirt off and beginning to unbuckle his pants. He tried to quickly remove the dress, but she backed away. "No. You're going to rip it like you do everything rise. Plus, I've got a surprise for you, if you think you can handle it."

"I can handle anything," he panted and he heard her mutter something under her breath but he was far too entranced by the way her hands worked on his belt buckle. The sound of it unbuckling made her even wetter, and she moaned, moving up to sit on his stomach so he could feel just how wet she was, grinding against his toned stomach and letting out a breathy little moan.

"You're going to be the death of me," he muttered as he pulled her back down for another kiss.

Her hot little tongue snaked its way into his mouth, and he reached a hand under her to play with her pussy, pushing the thong aside. She shoved hard against his fingers, a cry finding its way out of her mouth and he swallowed the sound.

"Be quiet," he panted and she decided it was his turn to shut the fuck up.

Pulling down his pants and taking his boxers off along with them, he shuddered when he felt her hot mouth encircle him and he tried his best to keep his cries to himself, but dammit, he'd been imagining a scene like this all fucking day. "Fuck, Kagome, fuck."

He felt himself hit the back of her throat, and she moaned, and the feeling of the vibration around his dick nearly made him cum right then and there. She moved back up, sucking like a vacuum, her tongue playing with the head. And he couldn't stop himself as he grabbed her head, pushing it back down on his length, making her choke a little. But she kept at it, and he wondered what he'd done to deserve this kind of treatment from her, but he definitely wasn't complaining as she began to jerk him, tongue lazily circling his tip. He began an impulsive thrust of his hips, never feeling any better than he did now. She was so fucking hot.

She increased in speed, deep-throating him once more and moaning around his dick again. "Oh, fuck, Kagome." He wheezed, extremely close now. He never imagined her to be this fucking good.

"Cum, Yasha," she said sweetly, using the name she called him as a kid. "Cum in my mouth," she told him as she moaned once more, going down on him hard, her teeth lightly grazing along his length. He was rock hard, his claws probably digging holes in her mattress. He pushed her head down again, and she moaned once more, pushing him completely over the edge.

He watched her as she swallowed, her eyes far gone. Maybe she hadn't been able to stop thinking about what had happened earlier that morning, either. And of course, his dick was hard once more, it couldn't stay down for five minutes when she was around.

She was careful taking her dress off and he found himself growing impatient. "Hurry up," he rasped. "Leave the heels on."

"You don't tell me what to do," she snapped back.

He rolled his eyes, not looking for an argument tonight. Her dress came off, then her thong, and he thought she was being awfully slow. If she wanted to tease him, it was working. Once she was free of any clothing, he grabbed her by the small of her back, pulling her down so he could kiss her long and hard as he moved his hands up and down her smooth curves and over the slopes of her stomach to the curves of her breasts, and he had her shaking. Not shuddering, but shaking.

Taking his once again hard length and lifting her hips slightly, she rubbed the tip along her wet folds, her eyes clenching shut from pleasure, before slowly sinking down on him, wincing. He was so big that it still hurt her sometimes, but she quicky adjusted, moving her hips up and down slowly. Growling, he rubbed her clit furiously, hoping it would encourage her to go faster but instead, she fell against his chest, panting harshly because this felt so good to her.

Inuyasha smacked her ass, and she moaned, the sound echoing off the walls in her empty room. She understood what he wanted, but she was so worn out and she didn't know whether she wanted to fuck him hard or slow, but he obviously wanted the first option. Lifting herself up off his chest, she began lifting her hips and slamming back down into him, moaning softly every time she did and trying her best to keep her noises to a minimum.

She was close already, she'd been wanting him all day. "Oh, Inuyasha..." she panted heavily as he thrusted up to meet her halfway, causing a groan to slip from his throat. "Slow. I want it slow and hard," she muttered, hands moving against his toned chest, his muscles twitching under her them. A bead of sweat dripped down his face, and he gripped her hips tightly, his dick twitching from what she'd said.

She leaned back down to kiss him again as she slammed back hard against him, the sound of skin slapping against skin music to her ears. She tried to make it so the bed wouldn't thump every time she went down on his length or every time he slammed his hips up to meet hers, but she couldn't help it.

She squeezed at her breast and threw her head back in pleasure, one drop of sweat slipping from her forehead. Her lips parted for a cry and she couldn't help it. He groaned every time she slammed her hips down into his, and she was so tired she wanted to fall against him again but she didn't. She wanted it faster, and even harder.

She heard him growl and he flipped her over, and instantly he spread her legs wide for him and began thrusting in and out of her like she was home and like she was all he knew at that moment. She ran her hand through his damn silver locks, rubbing his ears which gave him violent bursts of adrenaline. The sound of the headboard banging against the wall had her feeling even naughtier.

He took her to the stars and then he took her to the moon and then back down to earth, making sure that she enjoyed the ride.

He filled her up, crying out and licking at her neck as he did, his breath a heavy pant in her ear. And then he did something she didn't really expect at all.

He kissed her forehead, and instead of being weirded out, she felt comfortable and not so empty. "That was amazing," she breathed out heavily, struggling to catch her breath. Her sheets felt cool against her burning skin.

He smirked at her. "I better see you on time tomorrow no matter how tired you are. I've got something for you," he muttered against her neck and her stomach flipped, picking up on the lust in his voice.

She was so tired she could have passed out right there. "What is it, Takahashi? Don't play with me."

"You'll find out," he said simply. "You need a ride home?" he offered quite blandly, as if he didn't really want to. "We can tell our parents that we both have work tomorrow. We won't be in trouble, you lasted hardly any time."

She glowered at him in the darkness. "Like you can talk."

He growled lightly. "Hurry up and put on your dress. We've waisted enough time."

"How long were we? What time is it?" Kagome asked as she hurriedly put on her dress, slightly annoyed with him. One minute she thought he was nice and the next he was a total jerk. Or maybe he really was extremely impatient.

"Thirty minutes at the least," he muttered distractedly, running a hand through his hair so it wouldn't look too disheveled. "And it's just 10:45. C'mon," he whispered, jerking her by her hand.

Annoyed, she jerked away.

"So childish," he muttered.

Once they made it downstairs, he was dragging her towards the door and he knew she was getting mad, but he didn't want his parents suspecting anything more than they already did.

"Mom, I'm about to leave. I'm taking a cab, I'll be okay. Souta went to bed finally, he wanted to stay up all night and play video games but I put an end to that," she hollered and he growled. He grabbed her hand roughly again, and she gave him a look that told him to keep his hands off. "I'm going now, I've got to be up early for work tomorrow."

"Okay, dear! But you're sure to want a cab? Can't Inuyasha just take you home?" Her mother asked.

"No," Kagome shouted back. "I'll be okay."

"You're coming with me," he growled lightly in her ear.

She pushed him away.

But of course she ended up in the car with him anyway. They drove in silence, and he couldn't figure out why she was so pissed.

She'll forgive me tomorrow, Inuyasha thought with a smirk as be neared her apartment building.

"Uh, Inuyasha?" She asked quietly, and he looked over at her, his eyes still dark with lust. He realized why he was so addicted to her. She was so damn attractive, and it was like she didn't realize it. She was gorgeous, her lips swollen and red from earlier, her hair slightly disheveled and coiling up in curls in a few places, and her dress that made her look like a goddess. She looked tired, and he reminded himself that it was normal for her, she was only human.

He stopped in front of her apartment building, waiting for her to say whatever she had to.

"I...I, um, I wanted to thank you for earlier this morning, for not comparing me to her. You weren't such a major jerk, you know? You were...different. And back when we were leaving you were being a jerk again, but it's alright, I understand how impatient you are." She told him quickly.

This surprised him so much that she had even noticed. Without any warning, she leaned over to kiss him again, and it was just the kiss he wanted. The one where she put everything she was feeling into it. The one where she ran a small, smooth hand over his neck and pushed him closer and ran her fingers through his hair. The one where she gasped into his mouth. The one where she seemed so compassionate.

This was how he wanted her to kiss him. It scared him.

She pulled away, her lips still incredibly close to his. "I...um, thank you."

He chuckled, his lips brushing with hers lightly and he heard her let out a light whimper, and he smirked against her mouth. His hand founds it was up her thigh, giving it a rough squeeze before feeling how wet she was for him once again.

"I-I...oh, Inuyasha," she muttered, kissing him again. He stopped his assault on her, and she panted heavily against his cheek.

"So what you did for me earlier, was that a thank you?" He asked her, kissing her neck lightly.

"Uh...yeah," she said shakily.

"You don't have to thank me for that," he pulled away from her, leaning back in to give her a gentle kiss and her cheeks reddened even more. "Goodnight, Higurashi."

"Uh...yeah. Goodnight, Takahashi. See you tomorrow." She grabbed her purse and quickly climbed out his car door, stumbling a bit and cursing to herself.

He gave a genuine laugh and she turned around to give him am angry glare before hurriedly walking up to her apartment and slamming the door behind her.

He took off, feeling tired himself.

**A/N: I didn't take too long you guys! It's amazing what a hint of inspiration can do. Eh, so what do you guys think? A lot of hot sex going on lately, and a bit of romance (: thank god. I don't think I expect this story to be that long. So anyway, Kagome's really happy that Inuyasha seems to be seeing her as her own person instead of a less better version of Kikyo. So, do you guys think Inuyasha is finally catching feelings for her, or do you think he's had them all along? And before somebody cusses me out about how 'weak' Kagome is, look up the definition of love. She may be getting her hopes up at the moment, but that's love.**

**But of course they're gonna have a few more ups and downs. So stick around. And you know what the best thing there is to see in my mail? Review alerts. They keep me writing. Criticism and all. Be sure to review, please. I love hearing everyone's opinion. I finally turned 16 on January 1st, by the way. I'll update again as soon as possible! I wanna hear all of your opinions!**


	10. Good Things End

Inuyasha felt her skinny fingers gripping tight onto his silver locks as he pushed her hard against the desk. She was shivering in anticipation, her scent spiking and making all of his senses fade away. As he trailed his hand up her breast, kissing her neck, he felt the strong beating of her heart underneath his palm. He could've laughed at all the intensity she was feeling, but instead, he was thinking about how soft her palms were as her hands ran over his neck so she could pull him closer and let her lips brush against his. Instead, he was thinking about how the sweet scent of her arousal drove him crazy with need, and about how good her hair smelled. He was thinking about how good it felt to have her against him.

And of course he knew that all good things came to an end, so as he bit her bottom lip and brushed his tongue against hers and pushed her legs apart, he tried to make the best out of all this mess that they'd ended up in. He wanted it to end. But he couldn't stay away from her. Her touch was the only one he seemed to want nowadays, and when she kissed him the way she did, it scared him to think about how he didn't want to kiss anyone else.

So he kept teasing her. He had learned all the things she liked. He had learned what made her scream, what made her cry out, what made her moan his name. Panting in her ear for a second, pants already tight before they'd even started anything, he kissed her neck, his hands groping and squeezing at her breasts, making her toss her head back and cry out for him and at that moment, he knew he wouldn't trade this for the world.

Growling and nearly ripping her shirt off, he continued on. He noticed how she didn't say anything about that, and she'd usually give him hell for it. She must've been just as excited as he was, and that soothed him, made him feel less crazy.

_Kagome Kagome Kagome._

She was all that mattered at the moment. He smirked against her neck, and she grumbled, catching hold of the fact that he was teasing. But it felt good just to have her in his presence. She let out a breathy moan as his fingers ran up along her creamy thighs, wrapping her arms around his neck and encouraging him.

"Stop with all the fucking teasing already, Inuyasha," Kagome muttered, pressing his lips against hers again.

He smirked, his hands fumbling with the button of her tight dress pants. He took them off slowly, deciding that she'd had enough of teasing for the morning. She shuddered and let out a sigh as his claws toyed around the edge of her panties before curling a clawed finger around them hem of them, slowly pulling them off.

"Lean back," he muttered, his voice raspy and laced with lust. She quickly obeyed.

"Shirt off," she said shakily. "Leave your tie on."

He smirked, doing exactly as she said before kneeling down before her, suddenly so eager to make her cum and listen to the way she moaned his name. "Keep it down, okay? They could walk in anytime," he told her quietly before running his tongue along her clit slowly, Kagome took a deep breath and tried to relax, but she couldn't help the way her fingers knotted into his silver hair as he did it again, and she couldn't help he breathy moan she let out, either.

"Inuyasha," she moaned quietly as he did it over and over again. Her legs were spread wide for him now, hands tugging at his hair so roughly that he was sure if he didn't have demon blood inside of him, he'd be bald by now.

She was the best thing he'd ever tasted in his whole life. He peeked at the look on her face, his pants getting tighter by the minute. She was there with her head thrown back against the desk, her hands now gripping the edge of the desk so hard that her knuckles were turning white. Her cheeks were red, her mouth parting slightly for breathy little moans.

He moaned slightly, and she gasped and bucked her hips upwards. His tongue slipped inside of her, and she whimpered, bucking her hips against his mouth once again before crying out his name. He quickly went back to his assault on her swollen clit, and she was shaking, hands not really knowing where to go, her pleasure so great that she thought she'd explode, or melt, or burst into flames.

He knew he'd get hell for all of this from his father. Inuyasha was already suspecting that he knew about what was going on between him and Kagome, but he couldn't quite say that he cared. After all, he had never really favored Kikyo, and both of his parents had always leaned more towards Kagome. He wasn't sure why, but after all, they had been extremely close and almost inseparable such a long time ago, back when Kagome was innocent, naïve, and sweet. They had been best friends.

And he still wasn't sure what to do about the whole Kikyo thing, but he knew that he was tired of her making him feel the way he did. He also knew that Kagome made him feel much better. He liked making Kagome mad. He liked seeing that fierceness in her eyes, it reminded him that she was almost as tough as he was. She was strong, where Kikyo had always been a brat. Kagome was a nice change up from Kikyo. She made him feel calm. Sure, she knew how to piss him off, too, but that was fun because he'd never met someone who'd got under his skin as much as Kagome did.

He was getting addicted to her, he knew that. He hadn't thought of fucking anybody else not even once, because every time he even thought of having sex with Kikyo next time she came in town, his thoughts went back to Kagome. And it had started getting harder and harder to suppress his needs to fuck her over and over again. He smirked, wondering if she could even handle him if they were to ever live together. Of course she couldn't.

He continued to lap hungrily at her bare folds while she squirmed and melted like butter. Her legs were shaking, now, as he roughly assaulted her clit with his tongue and pushed his tongue inside of her over and over again. She called his name over and over again, and right when he knew she was about to cum, he pulled away from her and she immediately sat up, her eyes dark with lust.

"Inuyasha," she muttered, grabbing him harshly by his tie. "You really don't play fair." Her voice was still shaky, and she was shuddering, her voice raspy and almost hoarse as she pulled him close to her, a smirk on her face as she brushed her hand against the bulge in his pants.

He growled, piercing golden eyes taking her in. She looked up and her big brown eyes met his as she smirked, and he swear he saw something other than lust in her eyes. She pulled him down by his tie, brushing her lips against his slowly, a smile on her face as she pressed her cheek against his to whisper in his ear, laughing almost cruelly. "_That _was your surprise? C'mon, Yasha," she mumbled. "I wanna feel you inside of me." She panted huskily.

It was as if she read his mind. This is what he loved the most, how she bluntly stated what she wanted with no embarrassment and no games, and he loved how she teased to the point of insanity. He pressed her lips against hers and it was long and sweet, it was gentle. And he didn't bother confusing himself with tons of questions on where that kiss came from, he just made her lean back again, pulled his thick, hard length out, ready to feel her. He wanted her so bad he was starting to ache.

"Wait," she said, a smooth hand running up his chest and he growled impatiently.

"What is it, Kagome?"

She smirked again and he wanted to kiss that stupid little smirk off of her pretty little lips. "Fuck me against the bookshelf, and then, the conference room."

He shook his head at her, hardly believing what she was saying. "Kagome, we don't have much time and I'm not going to waste it trying to fulfill all of your weird, kinky, sexual fantasies. So c'mon," he rubbed the head of his cock against her clit, and her eyes seemed to get even darker as she let out a light cry.

"Mmm, but you owe me, Takahashi." She told him with this silly, stupid, and ridiculous smile that he loved to see.

And that was how the little bitch ended up getting her way with him once again. "You'll be the death of me." He muttered, not being able to resist her.

**XXXXX**

He woke up to the feeling of someone's warm breath on his neck, and feather soft hair against his chest. He cracked one eye open lazily before he looked down to realize that she was wrapped tightly in his arms, and he felt the need to stay here just a bit longer. He didn't want to wake her, but he knew that he had to.

How would it look if someone found them naked in the conference room together, his arms wrapped tight around her? Not so good.

For a while, he laid there and watched her as she slept. She was very far from an angel, but at least she looked like one, especially when she was sleeping. There weren't any rude remarks to leave that pretty and plump little mouth of hers, and she looked peaceful instead of pissed off like she usually did. No, she wasn't perfect. Far from it, but she was gorgeous with her pale skin, her perfectly pink, smooth mouth, her long lashes and her cute little button nose. He wondered why people seemed to think her and Kikyo looked so much alike, because they weren't. Kagome's features were softer. She was cute, not intimidating. Kikyo was like the sunset, pretty to look at, but you couldn't reach it. You couldn't touch it. You could only admire it while it stayed at its distance.

His father and brother would probably be here soon, and he really had to stop this whole 'fucking Kagome at work' thing. This was why he didn't want her as a secretary. She was much too distracting and tempting.

"Kagome," he shook her gently, not really wanting to wake her, but he knew he had to. Her eyelids fluttered open as soon as she felt him shaking her, looking up at him before rolling her eyes and closing them again. He growled. Maybe they could get along if she wasn't so damn difficult half of the time. "Seriously. Get up. I can't get caught like this with you."

"I'm up, take your hand off of me," she said softly, sitting up and yawning before running a hand through her hair before turning to him and smiling. "Why can't we just stay here for a while?"

Inuyasha shook his head. "No."

"Yeah," she mumbled, leaning back against him. "Just for a few more minutes. Stay with me, please."

He didn't really know why, but she let him lean back against his chest, her long, wavy hair tickling his skin slightly. He closed his eyes and inhaled her scent, nostalgia hitting him like a train. He missed the old Kagome in a certain way that he couldn't explain. "You know how I feel about this shit," he muttered quietly.

"I know," she said softly, tucking her head into his neck. "But can you just be quiet for a second? We're not arguing or anything. It's actually kind of nice. Just let me relax."

_Yeah, sure…relax, _he thought with a roll of his eyes. But her body was so warm against her and he felt like he was getting a bit tipsy off her scent, and he liked it. He'd never met a girl who put as much fear in his heart as Kagome. He shouldn't be feeling like this right now.

"Hey, Inuyasha?" she asked quietly, disturbing the peaceful, slightly awkward silence.

"Hmm?" he muttered, quite distracted and not realizing that his lips were pressed against the top of her head or that how tight his arms were wrapped around her.

"Did you really mean what you said before?" she asked quietly, almost timidly. He wasn't used to her being so timid. He opened his eyes, loosened his grip on her considerably, his eyes catching hers. "The thing about using me, I mean," she muttered, her cheeks red from embarrassment.

"Yeah." He answered without really thinking. Why was it so easy to find an answer? This was starting to scare him. Maybe he just needed to distance himself from her for a while. He didn't know.

She leaned up to look at him, a brilliant smile on her face. "Thank you."

And then she pressed her lips gently against his, her mouth moving against his chastely. He felt all of those emotions again, which definitely wasn't a good thing.

He was fucking screwed.

**XXXXX**

He had been avoiding her all day. He'd sent her off to run stupid and unnecessary errands for him just so she wouldn't be a distraction to him. And each time she came back, he sent her off again. Pitiful, he knew, but his attraction to her was starting to scare him.

He'd seen the looks she'd been giving him. She was smiling like she actually felt something for him, and that was definitely not in his plans. Or maybe he was just getting soft. Maybe he needed to be a jerk and give it a break before thing got too serious. Maybe he needed to just let things cool down. But the problem was that he just _couldn't_ get enough of her, his addiction to her was stronger than any drug he'd ever heard of.

She was like nicotine. She was killing him slowly, but he needed her to start his day off, and he needed her to end it, too. She was like an aphrodisiac. He couldn't get enough of her no matter how hard he tried to fulfill his needs, and it scared him.

So here she was again. It was right at the end of the day, and all he wanted to do was go home and take a cold shower and find something or someone to get her off his mind. And it was wrong to feel this way, he didn't even love her. He was really looking forward to Kikyo coming in, maybe that would help.

"Hey, do you need anything else, Takahashi?" he heard her sweet voice speak up and he groaned. Damnit, the fact that she was right there with her sweet scent in his face didn't help either. She was like a breath of fresh air, from Kikyo, from his work, from wanting to be what was expected of him. He didn't know how or why, but she was.

"No," he said simply, keeping his eyes glued to the computer screen.

But this time, he didn't want to be a jerk to her. He didn't want to make her cry anymore. He wanted to see that smile that she used to give him years ago. He wanted that old Kagome to come out again, the one who kissed him with everything she felt, the one who stumbled and stuttered, the one who walked around her house in a pair of loose sweatpants with her hair up in a messy bun. The Kagome who was actually nice at times. He liked that Kagome and he wanted to see more of that version of her.

He could sense her confusion, and he could tell that she was starting to get a bit upset at the fact that she was being ignored. Then he sensed her worry. But that still didn't change the fact that he thought he needed a break from her. So he was going to fight the temptation no matter how hard it seemed.

"Are you sure?" she asked, still sounding a bit upset, her voice low as if she was distracted.

He though for a second. "Yeah, coffee. I need more coffee." He said, glancing at her. She was fumbling with the hem of her skirt and looked up when she heard his answer. He swore for a second he saw surprise written all over her face.

Higurashi was so _weird_, but he smiled a little anyway.

She was back in seconds with it, it seemed, and clumsily, she sat it on his desk, knocking it over in the process and causing it to splatter everywhere. His growl almost deafened the sound of her gasp as he stood, looking down at his now coffee-stained shirt and cursing under his breath. "Fuck, Kagome. What the fuck?" He looked up to meet her eyes, and he saw guilt instantly being replaced by anger.

"I didn't mean to," she told him, her eyes narrowed. Quickly, she left the room for a few seconds, cursing under her breath, too, muttering something about stupid jerks, before returning with a roll of paper towel. She rolled her eyes and stepped closer to him, wiping at the stain on his shirt. "You're such a big baby, I swear. I'm pretty sure you can easily buy another shirt like this, you jerk."

"Don't touch me," he growled, snatching the paper towel out of her hand before pushing her away. "You're seriously so fucking _clumsy_."

"Don't push me around, Takahashi," she hissed. "You do that again and it's your life on the line."

He finished wiping at the stain, realizing it wouldn't ever come completely out and sighing in aggravation. He looked up to meet her narrowed eyes and realized how close she was to him. He took a step towards her, trying to be as intimidating as possible. She took a step back, but she didn't seem to fear him at all. "Really, now?"

"Really." She muttered as he cornered her. "Inuyasha, just leave me alone."

She was upset now, and he knew it was because he had pushed her away so roughly. He didn't mean to, but he'd just took his aggravation out on her. Now he regretted it, but still, it had been her fault. "Tell me you're sorry." He muttered playfully, trying to get her to see that he wasn't as mad now, and that he actually felt bad. But of course, like the stubborn little wench she is, she had to shake her head and push him away.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I told you I didn't mean to. But I deserve an apology, too." Kagome said, quite uncomfortable with how close he was to her. His face was right in hers, sharp, golden eyes almost giving her goosebumps.

"Okay, I'm sorry, _Ka-go-me_." He smirked, his body pressing against hers now.

His hand cupped her backside, giving it a rough squeeze before pulling her closer to him. Before she could protest, which she was definitely about to, he brushed his lips against hers gently. He felt her hands pushing at his chest and he could sense her anger, now, but he could smell arousal in the air, too. So of course he didn't pull away from her. It wasn't like she wanted him to, anyway. "Why are you so clumsy nowadays, Higurashi?"

"Get off of me," she hissed, cheeks blushing bright red.

Inuyasha didn't know what the hell he was doing. He promised himself he would stay away for a while, let things cool down because they were getting too hot, just like they were right now.

"I said I was sorry." He told her gently, his hand moving up from the small of her back to cup her chin and make her look at him. Kagome shivered from the feeling of his fingers brushing against her neck. She melted when she thought about how his lips felt against it. When she thought about how close she was to him right now.

"And then you made me feel like a fool by calling me clumsy." She said, refusing to look at him.

He chuckled. "Sorry for that, too."

"Stop saying sorry," her eyes met his and she smiled a little. "You're creeping me out."

"How…" he paused, realizing that he was being sort of creepy. He never apologized for anything, especially when it came to her. Before he could back away from her, she wrapped her arms around his neck, brushing her lips against his. But it was the one she gave out when she only wanted one thing, and he cursed when he realized that he was trying not to use her anymore. But why consider her feelings? It wasn't like she had _ever _considered his at all. But he didn't want to see her as broken as that one night. That one night when she'd basically told him that she was tired of being used, and when she'd let him use her anyway just because she believed that he wasn't going to. He had never liked the sight of Kagome crying. Maybe it disgusted him and aggravated him, he wasn't sure, because after high school, he had considered her to be an emotionless, conniving, deceiving bitch. But she wasn't. After that night he had realized that she wasn't a lot of the things he'd thought her to be.

It was hard not to ask her if she wanted to meet him at his place tonight when she was kissing him like that. He didn't particularly like it as much as her other kisses, he wasn't sure why. After all, all he'd ever wanted was one thing from her.

He kissed her back, his left hand meeting her face and his eyes half-closed as he watched her face. It was just them, now. He was sure everyone else had left. Just them. Just this one girl, two mouths. And he knew that he needed to put a stop to this and he knew that kissing just to be kissing wasn't part of the plan. But for some reason he felt like he was in too deep.

"Tonight," she muttered against his mouth. "I'll stop by your place."

"Kagome…" and there it was, it came out of nowhere before he could stop himself. "I'm not using you."

She looked at him surprised, and just to get over the feeling of embarrassment from his unexpected words, he took her lips into a bruising kiss, not that it made the situation any better. He pulled away, observing her face carefully, pulling his hand away from her waist and backing off of her a bit. She didn't look repulsed…actually, her eyes were watering.

"What's wrong…" he asked, sighing in annoyance. He never got used to seeing her sad or upset or whatever she was at the moment. But he didn't sense any of that from her.

She was happy…

And he felt like a fucking idiot.

"Tonight…" she muttered before gathering her things and walking away.

**XXXXX**

She'd met him at an after-party and he'd seemed charming and handsome enough, just like the rest of them. His skin was a deep, deep tan color and his eyes were hazel and they made her burst into flames just like his good, strong, steady hands. He was a sculptor, and he was French. God had taken precious time making him, she realized this very much when she looked at his body.

But it wasn't like she didn't love Inuyasha.

In fact, she loved him very much.

Andre was gorgeous and beautiful in every single way and he treated her with nice things. Vacations, nice dinner reservations, nice clothes and shoes and even diamonds. He treated her very different from Inuyasha. He asked how her day was, he showed up at her fashion shows, he took her to places she'd never been, mentally and physically. He was smooth with his words, as smooth as his accent, and he knew English, too. He was educated and he was absolutely brilliant, and he actually communicated with her. He tried to make things right. He loved her.

Kikyo could definitely imagine spending the rest of her life with him, and one night, when it was just the two of them, he'd took her hand and traced "I love you" in her palm with his fingers. She'd never felt her stomach hit the floor like that. She'd never met a person who interested her this much. He did everything with such ease, and he was also amazing in bed. Maybe not as good as Inuyasha, but definitely still amazing.

She had what she wanted. She had diamonds and she'd discovered the real meaning of power. Money was power, money was everything. She had an extraordinary home and an extraordinary boyfriend who waited on her hand and foot. She could go wherever she wanted to and she could handle her own things.

But she didn't love Andre. She loved Inuyasha. Even without his communication, without him holding her how she wanted to be held, without him telling her that he _loved_ her when she needed to hear it most. Tonight was just one of those nights.

Making it to the top had been hard. You wouldn't even believe how many people she'd actually had to sleep with to be right here where she wanted to be. Her work had tore her away from Inuyasha, the men had, too. The pressure, the money, the late-nights, everything had made her feel so disconnected from him. But she was on top of the world, now. She did commercials and interviews and she made a great deal of money off of everything she did. She got offered millions, hundred-millions. She got offered the whole world. Power was the only way to make it in this world.

But she missed Inuyasha and often found herself wanting to feel herself in his arms, even if nothing was the same. Maybe she was trouble now, maybe she was no good, but she loved him. Simple and clean, she loved him. Not Andre, not any of the other male models she'd had to sleep with, not any of the other men she'd had to sleep with to get to where she had wanted to be.

Money could not buy happiness.

And maybe love isn't enough, ever. Maybe it wasn't even close.

**XXXXX**

His father had forced him to come to dinner tonight.

Sesshomaru, that lucky bastard, had made up some excuse about staying home to take care of Rin, declaring that she was feeling sick and that he was taking care of her and making sure that she was getting her rest. Sure, he knew it was probably true considering the fact that her pregnancy was two or three months shorter than the average human's pregnancy since she was carrying a full demon's pup, but still. Inuyasha had wanted an excuse to get out of dinner with his parents tonight.

It wasn't like he had anywhere to be. He'd caught up in his work and there wasn't really anything to do besides fuck Kagome when he got home, eat some ramen and watch TV until he dozed off. But damnit, he knew what this whole thing was about and he didn't want to be apart of it right now. He didn't need his parents trying to fuck up his life even more than it already was.

There was silence across the table as they silently ate their food. Everything was fancy, of course, but Inuyasha remembered a time when the food didn't taste so fake, when it tasted homey rather than artificial. It was still good, yeah, but he'd rather have his own mother's cooking.

He also remembered a time when they actually struggled and when they ate and cooked together like a real family. When his mom was rushing to fix dinner for his dad before he got home from work. He remembered him and Sesshomaru setting the table together, he remembered when they argued over who washed dishes that night. He remembered a time when his mother didn't have diamonds and luxury and when his father had to work hard for their earnings. Those days were definitely hard, but they were good and they held so much importance.

Nothing was the same and it probably wouldn't ever be the same again.

"So, Inuyasha," his father began sternly, wiping at the corner of his mouth with a napkin. "Since you're obviously picking with your food, I suggest that you're done. I've been meaning to talk to you about something for a while now."

Inuyasha's expression remained stoic and he had an idea of what this was about, and he wasn't up for it tonight. He didn't feel like discussing anything about his relations with Kagome, especially when his mother was right there listening. There was disappointment in her eyes, but then again, he saw a glint of hope. He stood and so did she and his father.

"I can handle this alone, Izayoi. This is men's talk, darling." He told her when he caught a glimpse of the look on her face.

His mother nodded, placing a hand on his father's shoulder and giving him a small smile. "Be easy on him, please."

His father firmly nodded and with slight hesitation, Inuyasha followed his father suite into his office, taking a seat and trying to lean back and be as nonchalant as possible, despite the fact that his palms were now slightly sweaty and despite all the voices in his head. He was expecting the worst.

"You know," Inu no Taisho began as he took a seat, folding his hands together on his desk and raising cold, golden eyes to look at his son in something similar to amusement, "Your mother has always babied you a bit too much. And you're a man. When you're a man, you've got to learn to take responsibility for your own actions and accept whatever comes with it. Do you think you're a man, son?"

"Of course I am," he spat, quite uncertain on where his father was going with all of this.

"That attitude of yours is going to get you in a lot of trouble one of these days, Inuyasha." His father told him sternly, shaking his head. "Now, what are your thoughts on the other Higurashi girl?"

Of course, he'd already seen this coming. He rolled his eyes, leaning back in his seat. "Don't act like you weren't as wild as me when you were younger, father."

He simply nodded. "Care to answer my question?"

Sighing, he finally spoke up. "We didn't get along for the longest time. She's annoying and manipulative, just like that cousin of hers. Call me stupid now because all Higurashi's are a piece of work, but we're not as bad now. I still don't care for her very much. I just like what she has to offer."

"You know," his father chuckled, "you're a piece of work, too. If you hate her so, then even bother?'

"Are you worried about my sex life or something? Or are you just going to say that you like her so much better than Kikyo and that she's nowhere near manipulative or annoying and that she's actually a sweetheart? Are you going to ask me what happened between us to make us hate each other so much and then tell me to suck it up and apologize to her because you _think_ she deserves it? Things are fine like they are now. We get what we want from each other. She's not a replacement of Kikyo but she's a distraction and sort of a relief, and that's as far as things are ever gonna go between us," Inuyasha all but snarled. "And as a matter of fact, we have sex all the time. We like sex a lot, that's one thing we've got in common. And guess what? We're having sex tonight so if we can wrap this up…"

"Inuyasha…" his father gave him a warning growl. "Your mother would have your head if she even _heard_ the shit you're giving me now…"

"I'd rather be fucking her than talking about her…" Inuyasha spat again, not exactly knowing what was coming over him but he knew he had to make a point, even if he didn't know what that point was.

"_Inuyasha_!"

He slowly calmed down, growling dissipating and his fists unclenching.

"Your scent is all over her, as yours is hers. And if I'm not mistaken, I'm sure she'd make you a wonderful mate someday."

"Do _not_ say mate and _Kagome_ in the same sentence, please," he snarled, ears twitching.

"You've known for quite a long time now, I suppose. Well, you may not have actually _known_, but you felt something different. Something in your gut. You suspected, if only for a second. You've thought about it before. It's different than it ever was with Kikyo. I knew just by watching you two together at that young age—"

He chuckled darkly. "Well, I'll be damned. Who ever heard of mating someone that you can barely even fucking stand."

"But, Inuyasha, you have to understand that there is a _very_ thin line between love and hate. You hurt her and she even hurt you. But she did it because you hurt her first, that's something else you've got to understand. You loved her, you really loved her even if it was all those years ago. And you left her. You hurt her and she actually accepted you, she never, ever judged you. She thought that there was royalty in your blood, half-demon or not, and you hurt her anyways! And Kikyo, you _knew_ she wouldn't want to spend the rest of her miserable life with a _half-demon_, whether she loved you or not."

"She hurt _me_!" he cried in disbelief. "She pushed _me_ away! She fucked all those guys and she didn't even regret _anything_," he snarled. "She didn't care. She didn't feel anything. S-she…she even told her damn cousin things that I never thought she'd even _dream_ of saying about me! _She hurt me._"

There was venom in his voice now and all he wanted to do was go fuck her hard with everything she'd made him feel back then, with all his hate for her. _She had hurt him_.

"It's easier to hate her rather than it is to love her. Hate is flexible but it's the same thing as love. You can make it out to be whatever you want it to. You can carve it out and it can be stronger. But isn't it the same thing? Hate and love are not different at all. They are inseparable. But you still thought about her when you were away from her. Your heart still speeds when you see her and you want her attention. You wanted to show her that you don't need her but how can you possibly not need a mate? You still wondered about what she was doing or how she was. Hate is so easy but loving someone takes a lot of strength. Are you a man or not, Inuyasha?"

"I'm leaving," he said simply as he stood to his feet. "And I am a man, by the way."

Inu no Taisho sighed and let his younger son leave, it wasn't as if he had much of a say to the matter. After all, he was a grown man, childish behavior and what-not.

He had tried to make things easier, but Inuyasha had always seemed to take up that undesirable stubbornness that he'd learned to grow out of when he was that age. And he sensed that his son was in for trouble, but he'd tried.

He hoped his wife would understand that he'd _tried_, but the truth was not always accepted so easily.

**XXXXX**

The very moment he got her inside of the door he slammed it shut behind them and pushed her hard against the wall, regretting it a bit when he heard the whimper of pain she let out. He gulped and ignored it, his lips roughly moving against hers in this unexplainable need to make them swollen and pretty and even more plump. He wanted to make them blood red. She obviously wasn't into him being this rough but she dealt with it anyway.

He shoved his tongue roughly inside of her mouth and the moan that came from her made his ears twitch and his pants tighten. He didn't give her time to kiss him with compassion. He wanted none of that tonight. He wanted to remember all the ways she'd hurt him and fuck her just like that, with all the hate she'd caused him to have in his heart.

Pulling away quickly, he roughly yanked her shirt over her head and hardly gave her time to catch her breath.

He unbuckled his belt, her kisses to his neck making his blood scorch all the while and when they were down, he moved his big hands to her hips and hurriedly began shrugging her out of the tight pair of pants she'd worn.

Ripping her bra to shreds, next, he roughly nipped at a nipple making her toss her head back with a moan.

He had one love and he was shoving his tongue down two mouths.

_One love, two mouths_.

How sick could he get? This would be over with by tonight. It had to be. It had to end tonight.

He was taking her breath away, he knew this. He sucked hard at her nipple, making her cry out. His left hand met her waist, moved her towards the bedroom, those two mouths never breaking apart.

All she made him think of was fuckin' temptation. Pure addiction.

She had those intense and dark bedroom eyes again but something wasn't the same. She wanted more. He would give her more.

He eagerly pulled away her panties, running a finger over that throbbing part of her to hear her cry out for him, making sure she was just as wet as he wanted her to be.

He felt like she was his prey as he slowly laid over her, crazed eyes glimpsing at her dark bedroom one's, but not daring to search those bedroom eyes. That went against every rule he'd ever lived by.

"Inuyasha…" she mumbled, obviously wanting something.

_Just shut up._

He wrapped a hand around his thick and hard length and jerked, showing her how hard he was for her with a growl and making her lose her track of thought as she licked at her swollen lips.

She tried to sit up and kiss him again.

He gently pushed her back down, growling once more.

"Inuyasha…what's wrong…"

_Just shut the fuck up, Kagome._

He groaned as he rubbed the head of his cock against her wetness, making her cry and buck her hips up into the long-awaited contact. He thrust into her hard, his flesh smacking against hers and making her moan, making her cheeks redden. Looking at her wouldn't be a good thing so he focused on something else.

He wanted to imagine Kikyo beneath but he was surprised when it started turning him off.

He growled and roughly barked at her, "Get up."

"Inuyasha…" she muttered, confused and sounding a bit hurt. "Inuyasha…did I say something? What are you mad—"

"Just _shut up_, _please_, God, just _shut the fuck up_." He growled angrily, positioning her himself. But this didn't feel right. It didn't feel right when he smelled her tears coming on and when he could sense how upset she was getting and when…

He thrust into her hard again, his eyes clenching shut and seeing stars in the back of his head. He forgot how to breathe for a while as her tightness clenched around him. She cried out, a cry of anger and then she almost screamed, a scream of pleasure. He began pounding fast inside of her before she could say one more word.

The goosebumps we're starting to raise. "_Ah_…" she moaned, tossing her head back as he continued to pound inside of her. "You…_uhhh…_y-you're such a…" he pulled her long, wavy midnight hair roughly, letting out a snarl as he continued to pound his hips against her backside, his eyes glued to the way his cock moved in and out of her tight and hot body. "You're such a…a fucking _jerk_!"

He knew. How many times had she told him?

"J-just _shut the fuck up_, Kagome…" he muttered, tossing his head back and groaning at the feeling of her clenching tight around his hard cock. He felt as if he was going to explode if she didn't _shut the fuck up_.

He went balls-deep inside of her, making her see stars and cry out his name as she thrust hard back against him, panting and burying her head into the sheets of his bed, her knuckles turning white as she gripped onto his sheets for her dear life. The fact that she had her orgasm didn't seem to phase him at all, because he kept thrusting harder and harder against her, taking her breath away once more. She cried out again as she felt him fill her with his seed, eyes almost watering from the intensity of it all.

It almost hurt to feel so much.

He groaned and she heard him pant heavily, and then he began again.

She shuddered, cursing under her breath as she felt his body rock steady against hers. She was definitely upset.

He moaned, his claws almost digging into her hips as he fucked her slow and steady. She cried out, thrusting back hard against him. "_Inuyasha_," she started angrily but lost her voice in a breathless moan as he thrust hard against her.

He did it again and again, her name falling from his lips, so quiet she barely heard him. He was so deep and thick and hot inside of her that she began to forget why she was so angry with him in the first place, easily giving in to him and melting.

He hated her. He hated her so much for being on his mind at all times. He hated hate for being so weak compared to love. He hated forgiveness, because he couldn't forgive her. And he hated how delicious she was and he hated how gorgeous she looked as she pushed him away before crawling atop of him, hungrily sinking down onto his length. He hated how fast she was moving, he hated how greedy she was being.

He hated her. Hate wasn't even the word for it, but there was such a fine line between love and hate.

He watched in amazement as she tossed her head back and grinded against him easily, taking all that she could and _using_ him.

_I said I wouldn't use her…_

He pushed all thoughts out of his head and leaned up, cupping her behind with both of his hands, kissing and licking and nipping at her neck and watching her pretty mouth as she cried out his name over and over again.

"Mmm, _Inuyasha_…" he swallowed her moans with his mouth against hers, bruising her lips with his fangs lightly, grasping her hips and thrusting up into her with absolutely no control.

He should feel really wrong about this. He should feel disgusted.

"_Fuck_, Kagome, just like that," he muttered, pulling her close to him, his chest pressing against hers as she bounced against him roughly. He licked at her neck, thinking just for a second how great it would be to sink his fangs into it, tattoo her with his mark. She was temptation, and temptation was nearly _impossible_ to resist. He nipped at her smooth neck, almost breaking skin.

"Fuck me just like that," he gasped, eyes clenching shut as she bounced faster, her warm breath against his lips coming in labored pants. Her sharp nails dug into his shoulder, every single touch like fire and he lost it and she did too, screaming into his ear and almost deafening him as she held on to him tight, pressing her lips hard against his.

Growling and gripping her hips, moving them up and down hard a few more times, he released for the second time that night. She cried out, her body falling limp against his and she whimpered, her head falling against his chest as he fell back. Her ears caught the sound of his wildly beating heart, or maybe that was hers, she wasn't sure.

Instinctively, he wrapped his arms tight around her shuddering figure and sighed almost miserably.

Her breathing was still labored, and she snuggled tight into his chest. Everything was silent for a while and he knew she wasn't dozing off or anything, her heart was beating wild just as his. He didn't know why even let her catch his breath.

When he figured she had calmed down from the rush of an intense orgasm, he pulled away from her. "You can't stay," he said almost coldly, avoiding her searching eyes.

"Are you sure you're okay?" she asked gently after a while, as if she was almost concerned. He almost scoffed, but he settled for snorting and rolling his eyes instead.

"I'm fine." He told her simply.

There was silence for a while before he heard her sit up. There it was again, she was upset. He heard her rustling movements and glanced over to see that she was carefully pulling her clothes back on. Not her bra, though, since it had obviously suffered too much damage. He watched her in fascination again, eyes taking account of the dips of her curves, the thickness of her hips. He sighed again, realizing this was so much unlike him.

His bed was cold and he knew he wouldn't be getting any sleep. Her sweet scent was all around him, the scent of their sex. His scent mixed with hers. He knew then that this should have never happened.

"You're pissed at me," he said cooly.

"I'm fine." She said in the same tone as he'd said to her earlier, a dark chuckle escaping her mouth. "Don't worry about it, please. But I guess I'd better _shut the fuck up_ and get going, right? _I can't stay_."

Her eyes narrowed and he groaned in aggravation, sitting up and hurriedly pulling on his boxers and pants, jumping up and catching her arm before she could exit his bedroom.

"Back the _fuck _off," she hissed. "For a second, I thought you were being less of a jerk. I thought you had decided to be nice. But you know, I've never really been that bright so of _course_ I was wrong about that whole stupid idea."

He backed off, wincing at the venom in her voice. "I'm sorry," he muttered lamely.

She turned around to face him. "I don't want to do this anymore. _I'm _sorry."

It was probably the smartest thing he'd ever heard Higurashi say. She looked at him as if she expected a better apology, and then when he'd made a fool of himself by apologizing to her, she'd smirk and call him a jerk, say she'd see him tomorrow. She looked at him as if she expected him to stop her.

He pulled her closer, once again feeling as if he was in too deep.

"I wasn't using you." He blurted out, the look she was giving him was making him feel extremely uneasy.

"Yeah right, and you're not a jerk," she said sarcastically, breaking free of his grip.

He caught her again, not really knowing where all of this was coming from. But he pressed her tight against him, his lips just centimeters from hers. They brushed against hers softly, and she tensed, trying to push him away, and he almost smirked and held her tighter until she relaxed. But she never once moved her mouth back against his.

And here he was again, kissing just to be kissing.

"I meant what I said," he muttered against her mouth. "I'll take you home."

For the first time, she was speechless. She followed behind him, and the whole ride home was silent.

Inuyasha had cursed to himself. He really _was_ in too deep, he realized, when he felt upset at the fact that she was still pissed at him. Because he knew she had decided he didn't mean anything at all. Maybe her thinking that way was for the best.

She slammed his car door and he resisted the urge to dig his claws in her arm and yell at her. He felt as if he was being pushed over the edge, all feelings about to boil over and spill all over the floor.

But all good things _had_ to come to an end.

**A/N: Took me a while, but I'm here. Sorry for the wait. And thanks to every single one of you who reviewed, every single time I get a review it inspires me to hurry up and get the next chapter done. You guys are amazing!**

**Also, I'm sorry for any confusions you guys are having. About the thing with Kagome and Inuyasha appearing to have a past out of nowhere, it may be confusing, but remember, the first night they hooked up, they hadn't seen each other in 4 or 5 years and plus they were both drunk out of their minds. But as I stated, they both kept feeling as if they knew each other and the morning after, they realized. So yes, they do have a past and yes, they were once very close before Kikyo came into the picture. And also, I'm sorry for screwing up the age difference between Kagome and Souta. There's probably more screw-ups I haven't even noticed, but practice makes perfect and I'll find time to go over it later.**

**Anyway, I think it'll be about 20 or so chapters at the least, I'm not really sure yet. And I'm also used to typing on my iPod and then editing when I copy-n-paste it to the site. But it messed up, and I ordered a new one but I'm not even sure if it's gonna come in. But I will hopefully be getting another one soon and be able to get back to you guys ASAP.**

**Once again, thanks for each and every single review, I wouldn't have even made it to chapter 3 without all the support. Keep on, you guys, and I'll keep updating. I can't say thanks enough! So until next time!**


	11. Loving Her Is Hard

_She almost laughed at the look on his face. She was sure she would have if he wasn't pressing her into the wall so hard, his claws digging into her hips. So she settled for smirking instead._

_She felt his wildly beating heart against her palm and that made her smirk get even wider._

_Inhuman growls were being ripped from his throat, all of them originating from some sort of pain he was feeling. He felt _betrayed, _damnit, and she would pay for this. _

_He wanted to wrap his hand around that little neck of hers and choke her a little. He wanted to dig his claws even deeper into her hips. He wanted to get it through to her that she was wrong. He wanted her to know how he felt._

"_You fucked him." He roared into her ear._

"_And?" she questioned him. He dug his claws deeper into her and she got this masochistic pleasure from it. She was sick, she knew this. "I'm not a baby anymore." She told him, her voice low and steady even though she was slightly scared._

_He chuckled darkly, sensing her fear when he pressed her harder against the wall. This was the way Kagome always made him feel, like he was going to boil over and spill everywhere, like he was going to explode. She made him feel like coming undone. But it wasn't in a good way anymore._

"_You're such a little _whore, _you know that, right?_" _He spat at her, burying his face into her neck to realize that she smelt just like the prick she'd slept with the night before. She almost wanted to cry into his shoulder and wrap her arms tight around him. She wanted him to comfort her like he used to, even though he wasn't very good at it. She wanted him to tell her that he was _sorry. _She didn't need him to break up with his beloved Kikyo, although that would be nice. She didn't need him to buy her anything as an apology. She didn't need him to tell her that he loved her, although that would be the nicest thing in the world to hear from him right now. She just simply needed him to tell her that he was fucking _sorry. _Sorry for giving up on her and their friendship, sorry for pushing her away, ignoring all her texts and calls, avoiding her and their group of friends, and sorry for fucking her up and leaving her down. She wanted to hear that he was _sorry _for acting as if she never meant anything to him._

"_Let me go," she told him, the dam finally breaking and tears giving over. She felt him tense up against her. She pushed him away and to her surprise, he let her go. But she didn't miss the look of wonder he gave her._

_Sensei was going to kill her. She had simply asked to use the rest room, feeling as if she was going to cry once again. Last night hadn't been the best, or maybe she wasn't emotionally ready. After all, she had given her body to Kouga Ookami, which was not the way she'd pictured it. She'd always pictured her and Inuyasha. She had pictured in her head Inuyasha's hand on her hips instead. She had pictured Inuyasha making her come undone. She'd pictured him kissing her gently, not shoving his tongue down her throat as Kouga had the night before. She had wanted it to be perfect and gentle. Kouga was rushed and rough._

_But the only thing that had stuck in her head was the fact that the best way to get over someone was to get over someone else. It hadn't worked like that._

"_Kagome!" she heard him yell from behind her. "Just fucking _talk _to me."_

_He grabbed her arm roughly and she collided with his chest. Here she was being weak in front of him. But did it really matter? She'd been weak in front of him so many times before. Her tears almost wet his shirt completely and she hit at him and punched at him but he held her steadily, almost falling back with her in his arms but still, he held her._

"_Kagome, stop…" he took both of her arms, barely missing a punch that she had precisely aimed at his face with murderous intent, and held them to his chest, pulling her close to him._

"_You hate me," she muttered against his chest. "I'm sorry."_

_She said it again, she _always _ended up saying sorry even when she hadn't done anything wrong. But she clung to him tightly, afraid of what would happen if she let go. His warmth began to calm her. There they stood like two fucking idiots holding each other in the hallway. Sensei and Kikyo, both, would probably have her head if they caught sight of this scene._

"_Just shut up, Kagome." He whispered, pulling her closer, his breath hitting her ear and sending a shiver down her back. Her stomach was flipping around now, and she wasn't sure what would happen next. But of course, he wouldn't ever dare to kiss her. He wouldn't dare to touch her intimately anyway._

"_I-I'm sorry…" she nearly sobbed again, hands clenching tight on his shirt and nails almost digging into his shoulder. He winced, not exactly knowing if it was because of the scent of the stinky wolf on her or because he felt betrayed or because he didn't want to let her go or because her nails were kinda sorta starting to hurt his shoulder blades. He didn't know, but he pulled her closer anyway._

_He couldn't tell her that she didn't have to say sorry, because he wanted to hear her sorry's and then he wanted to shove them in her stupid face and push her away just as he'd been doing lately. He wanted to tell her that he had enough sorry's. Sorry's all in his closet, sleeping beside of him at night, and greeting him at his door first thing in the morning. But he couldn't do that to her, either._

_He hadn't seen a lot of clean, simple, and pure things until he met Kagome that one day. That one day when he found out they were neighbors and she came over to meet him. She was much shorter than him, always was. She was pretty even as a kid. She was friendly. She didn't run when she seen his claws and ears and oddly colored eyes and hair. She didn't run when he'd pushed her and cursed at her, even though he wasn't suppose to be saying those words as young as he'd been. She didn't run when he had pulled that pretty hair of hers, or when he'd called her a wench or a stupid, stinky wench. She had looked at him and smiled that day. Grinned. She was so innocent and so pure._

_He'd witnessed deaths and he'd dealt with people teasing him for his features and for his kind, and punching and pushing him around, and then he'd met that stupid girl on that one day, and to this day, she was the only clean thing he'd ever seen in a world of sex and drugs and crime, acts in which he'd all committed to. _

_He swore that all he remembered to be clean and pure was her on that one special day. That's it._

_So he didn't let her go until he was sure she was fine. He didn't let her go because he didn't want to lose the only clean and pure thing he'd seen all his life, even though she wasn't that way anymore. And he tried his best not to be mad, not to feel betrayed, because when it came down to it, he knew that _she_ should feel that way instead._

_And she had every right in the world to feel that way._

**XXXXX**

He didn't know whether he was angry because she hadn't showed up for work or because she every single call he sent her went to her voicemail or because every single text he sent her wasn't replied to.

It had been over an hour now, and the wench still hadn't showed up.

He shouldn't have been feeling worried. He should feel aggravated and pissed off more than anything, but he knew he'd fucked up with her. It had been exactly three days now and he hadn't heard a word from her or even seen her. Yeah, sure, she didn't work on the weekends. But it was Monday, damnit, and Sunday had went by slow. He'd simply just sat around in his empty apartment with the walls and television watching him. He'd thought of her all this weekend, but not even him, Inuyasha Takahashi, didn't have the guts to drop his pride and tell her that he was sorry to her face when he really meant it. He had apologized to her before, sure, but most of the time his apologies were over simple, stupid matters.

So he had been texting her and calling until now. But he wanted to give up. After all, he was better off without her here to distract him, and plus he knew that he needed a break from her. So this gave him time to get even more of his work done, but you know, he had began to get really good at just staring at the computer screen blankly and just _thinking_ and reminding himself that feelings were not good things. They drove you around wildly for hours and when you thought you had a theory or something for feeling the way you did, you snapped back into reality just to realize that the _feelings_ had dropped you right back off where you started.

So he had no other option but thinking of her the whole time, barely checking for any mistakes or grammatical errors in his reports and documents. No one else had ever made him think like this. He thought of the way she sounded when he fucked her and his pants got tight. He thought of her bedroom eyes looking into his, so dark it had to be nothing else but lust, and his pants got even tighter. But then he started thinking of how soft her hands, hair, and body was. He started thinking about her eyes staring back into his. He started to think of her tears and the way he hurt her. He started to think about her _betrayal_.

But no, it hadn't been betrayal back then, not really. Because he didn't own her and she was not his property, she never was. Back then, he had no right to treat her like that, had no right to be mad. And not even now, intimacy and all, did he have the right to feel like that.

He had a secret and he wouldn't dare tell a soul. He barely wanted to admit it to himself.

He had loved her a long time ago. He had been so in love that he had been sure she was all that he needed. He had been so in love with the way she made him come undone, in love with the way she always told him everything that happened in her life, how she talked with so much passion. She _was_ love, at least back then, she was. He loved the fire in her eyes and her determination. He fell in love with the her he knew and the her he had yet to meet, but he was sure he'd met it, now. Her dark side. The side he'd never known that she possessed. He had been so in love with her eyes and her hair and her eyelashes and her body and her soul and everything else she had to offer. He'd been in love with her beauty and her brains and he'd been in love when she gave him her ideas on what love really meant. _Love was patient and kind_, she'd said. Was she any of these things anymore, though?

But he hadn't told a soul. He knew that love was considered to be so great and profound and beautiful, so why would you _ever _want to keep it a secret?

He had another secret. You couldn't tell one single soul.

He had found out he loved her when he left, when their friendship broke into fragile pieces. He hadn't even known when she gave her body to Kouga. The memories still made him feel something that was close to hate. He hadn't even known when he held her all those times, or when it was just the two of them hanging out. Hadn't even known when his world was spinning around so fast and he was losing control just because she had her first date.

But she hadn't loved him back then, and that was all that mattered. Really, he had no problem with it because he didn't even know that he loved her. But the only other thing that mattered was the fact that him and Kikyo had been perfect for each other. Maybe it was just infatuation, but he'd never felt that way for anybody else, whether Kikyo was untouchable or not.

He didn't even see how he'd felt like that for Kagome back then. There must have been something wrong with his head, and maybe there still was…

**XXXXX**

Annoyed, she shoved her phone back in her purse, her heart breaking a little.

"Is there something wrong, Kagome?" Her date asked her gently, taking her hand in his and rubbing over her knuckles. She didn't feel like pulling her hand from Hojo's, because Hojo was here with her right now, Hojo was the one who had been nice enough to give her another chance after she had gotten choked up over the fact that he 'loved' her, whatever love was, and not responded to him and just up and left.

So here she was, giving Hojo another chance.

"Nope, everything is A-okay." She told him with a sweet smile. And everything really was, except the constant vibrating of her phone. She was tempted to just cut the damn thing off.

What was the point in getting choked up over Inuyasha? He'd fucked her whole life up and left with hardly any reason. He was a loud, rude, and _very _aggressive jerk who take whatever he felt was his. He didn't know what love was, and she considered that to be the reason why him and Kikyo were _so_ damn perfect for each other. And wait, why was she even thinking about him? Oh, yeah, because her phone was still vibrating in her purse, she could hear it in the silence of the room. And it just kept vibrating and vibrating and she knew that she was about to go crazy.

Hojo gave her a pointed look, eyes trained on her purse. "Uh, I'm guessing that it's important?"

Kagome laughed almost nervously, batting her eyes at him. "Um, you order. I've gotta take this call real quick. I guess it's work."

"Sure," he said to her with such a charming smile that it almost made her sick to her stomach. Or maybe it was just the fact that she'd have to talk to Inuyasha after ignoring him for so long. She hadn't dared to read a single text from him.

Hurriedly snatching her purse up, she took off towards the restroom, throwing herself into a random stall and slamming the door, feeling almost as if she was about to have a nervous breakdown.

She quickly pulled her off-the-walls vibrating phone out of her purse, pressing the 'accept' button without really thinking about what she'd say.

"**Kagome?" **

"You rang?" she asked, a harsh tone in her voice that she couldn't help even if she tried.

"**Where the hell are you?"** he asked, and she could tell how angry he was at the fact that she wasn't there. Inuyasha Takahashi really surprised her sometimes.

She faked a cough. "I'm fucking sick…sorry."

"**You're lying to me."**

"Oh, I am? I didn't notice. You obviously know me better than I do." She said, gritting her teeth and then biting the inside of her jaw, and then biting down hard on her lip. But nothing helped, she still wanted to punch a hole in the wall or kill somebody…preferably him…or do…_something_. Something that would show him that she wasn't going to be pushed around anymore.

"**Now's not the time to be a smartass…"** he growled through the other end and she smiled in satisfaction.

"Okay, so what's really going on is that I'm out with a friend. I needed some time to think and some time to be away from you. So excuse me…"

"_**Friend?**_** What the **_**fuck**_**, Kagome. Seriously, stop playing and get back here, I know you're not out with anybody…"**

"Actually," she remarked matter-of-factly, "I am. And you're totally not going to fire me, you can't find anyone else to fill in for me…so I suggest you let me have my day peace and I'll be there tomorrow, sweetie."

"**Who is it?" **he asked, sounding either unconvinced or bored.

"It's really none of your fucking business, but since you're _obviously _so obsessed with me," she giggled when he growled, "I'm on a date. And I was having a really good time Inuyasha, so bye. Stop trying to ruin this for me. Don't call my phone ever again, or text me. Just go ahead and lose my number."

"**So it's cool to miss work now for some stupid date with some stupid human boy or some **_**stinky **_**wolf?"** he nearly roared, and she had to pull the phone away from her ear, wincing subtly. **"What the fuck, seriously. Kouga's getting married to Ayame, and even if that doesn't end up happening she's still on his dick 24/7, and let me guess, you're going to fuck him, aren't you? Just…ugh…just…fuck you. Seriously, dead honestly, fuck you."**

"Don't get your panties in a bunch, Takahashi. I'll be there tomorrow. And I'll work on your files tonight. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?" she nearly screamed, not even noticing angry tears slipping down her cheeks and about to ruin her makeup. Seriously, she had to get it together. But the fact that he just assumed that about her knowing that she hadn't been with anybody since she started really hooking up with him sort of hurt, and it shouldn't have. "And by the way, I'm not fucking anybody. It's the first date for fucking God's sake! And it's not even Kouga…"

She shouldn't have to explain herself at all.

"I'm here with Hojo, and I'm okay. Look, I promise I'll be there tomorrow or whatever, just calm the fuck down, will you? Hojo's a good guy."

"**I don't like him."**

"You don't like anybody," she mumbled through gritted teeth, about to bang her head into the wall.

"**Why were you ignoring me?" **she heard him ask rather softly and she froze, not knowing how to respond to him at all. She didn't want to tell him why. That would be awkward. So she didn't say anything.

"Hojo's waiting on me. I've gotta go. Bye, Takahashi," she said quickly, ending her connection with him and her stupid, stupid heart skipping beats. This shouldn't feel like betrayal at all. No, she wasn't betraying him. He had _always_ betrayed her, betrayed their friendship and every single little fragile piece of trust she had for him.

She wiped tears and fixed her hair from where she had almost pulled it out due to Inuyasha. Touching up her lipstick, she gave small smile to herself in the mirror before heading back out to meet Hojo and enjoy their meal.

**XXXXX**

The date with Hojo had been great, rather boring, but still great. He was going to be a great doctor sometime later on in life, she had come to that conclusion long ago. He wasn't a selfish person at all, and he wasn't cocky and he actually _blushed._ She'd never realized how cute Hojo really was, but she wish she would have seen long ago.

He was an amazing person, really. He hadn't even talked about himself, he'd just kept the subject on her which made her feel honored. So for the first time in forever, she'd let someone in. She'd even told him about all the things she did in her childhood, how she helped her family out with the shrine and how her and her mother used to cook all the time. She talked about how horrible she used to be in math, and Hojo had laughed and said that he was a straight A student, and that it didn't matter how badly she'd done in school, he considered her to be one of the smartest girls he knew. And then he'd called her strong and beautiful.

Made her think about all the thing Inuyasha never said to her, but he wasn't supposed to say that kind of shit to her, anyway.

So now they were walking hand in hand towards her apartment. She'd really had a great time. The food wasn't so great, so she had picked around it, scraping some of it into a napkin every once in a while and fake chewing so Hojo wouldn't feel so horrible. It wasn't like he took her to some cheap, shitty restaurant, but she'd never really liked Italian. The restaurant a great one, though. He had made sure of that.

"I really had a good time tonight, Kagome." He told her gently.

She felt like it was about to be her first kiss all over again as he gently leaned into her, brushing his lips softly against hers. Nice, it was what she wanted. His hands didn't drift to her backside and dip into her curves. They didn't move to grope her breasts. It was such a nice change up. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt this pure. His mouth synchronized with hers, and then she realized that it felt weird to be kissing someone other than Inuyasha. And in some way, it didn't feel right at all, anymore, so she parted from him.

He brushed his lips against hers again, softly, tenderly. He wanted nothing more from her. He didn't want her body like Inuyasha. He wanted her soul and he wanted her heart. That thought scared her. She unwrapped his arms away from his neck and looked up at him to give a small smile.

"Something's not right with you, Kagome. Your mind is somewhere else. Are you sure that you're okay?" He asked gently.

"Everything's alright…but Hojo, I don't exactly know how to say this without hurting you…" she started, the words just coming out of nowhere. There was a look of dread in his eyes, and she decided it was for the best. "Uh, so the thing is…I'm nowhere ready for a relationship, and I'm nowhere near ready for someone as sweet as you," she cleared her throat, suddenly finding the words a bit hard to think of, to say. "The point is, I'm a bit reckless, you know? Always have been, always will be, I guess. But I like spending time with you. I feel like I'm kinda…slowing down, I don't know. And you've got so much ahead of you and so much life in you, and I don't want to interfere with any of that, do you understand?"

"Yes, I understand. Of course I do, Kagome," he flashed her a little smile. "But you're not reckless, and you wouldn't interfere with anything. I think you're amazing, and I just want you to know that I'll wait for you as long as I need to. Goodnight, Higurashi."

She was left speechless by the gentle peck he placed on her cheek. Poor Hojo, was he really that clueless? But despite all of that, she walked away with a slight smile on her face. He wasn't a jerk like Inuyasha, he was a sweet guy, even if he was a little bit dense and clueless.

Before she could even walk in to take a deep breath or take a seat, she felt her phone vibrating again and growled in complete frustration as she looked down to see Inuyasha's name on her screen.

She ignored it. It was the best thing to do.

But she was bored. There was nothing on TV and she was hungry since she had barely ate anything on her date. And it was so quiet, besides the TV playing in front of her eyes, but she ended up tuning it out, her thoughts running wild. She wanted to read every single one of the texts he'd sent her. She'd ignored every single one of them. She wanted to see what he'd said, if he'd even tried to type her a paragraph stating that he was sorry, just like she should be.

Her phone vibrated again, signaling a new text message instead of a phone call, so temptation began to take it's toll on her.

Letting out an annoyed growl, she snatched her phone off her nightstand, ignoring the sound of her stomach rumbling, begging to be fed.

There was exactly 15 text messages from him, 3 voicemails, and 9 missed phone calls. She began to think that maybe her stomach was just rumbling from the anticipation of seeing what he had said. He never texted or called unless it was important or business related, so she wasn't sure about this whole ordeal and she suddenly found herself wanting a whole bucket of ice cream to soothe her nerves. She needed something, _anything_, to calm her down.

She started with the text messages, figuring she might as well get it over with. She rolled her eyes, seeing a bunch of bullshit and cuss words and some grammar errors. Inuyasha had never been very good with words, anyway.

The first read, _"I was wondering if we could meet up. Not for anything like _that_, you know, but we need to talk._

From then on she seen, _wench, you better fucking text me back _or _Kagome, c'mon, this is childish_, and then, _We really need to talk_. And then when she seen _ignoring me only makes the situation worse_, that really fucking irked her nerves. If he wanted to talk to her that bad about whatever he needed to talk to her about- which was probably something having to do about them needing to stop hooking up because he didn't feel he was doing right by his beloved—then he could make time to do something over than send her these stupid, desperate texts.

_Kagome, I'm sorry._

She rolled her eyes, really wanting that bucket of ice cream.

_I didn't mean anything that night…now if you'd stop being stupid and just fucking talk to me…_

Maybe she had rolled her eyes too hard or something. They were starting to water.

_This is the last text I'll send you, I swear. You know, you're really fucking annoying. Sometimes I can barely stand you. That's probably not the best thing to say considering the predicament we're in, but hey, the truth will set you free. To be honest, I really don't see how it was much of a big deal. But I don't wanna talk about that, it's awkward talking about sex with you when we're texting…especially our sex. Anyway, it was a big deal to you. I understand that. So please try to understand me when I say I'm sorry. You know what? I'm _sorry_. Just know that I mean it. K, bye Higurashi._

She needed Sango and Mama _and _a whole tub of ice cream right now.

Despite her will, she ended up checking her voicemail.

"_Hey, where the fuck are you? I called and texted you earlier today because I need to fucking talk to you. What's with you? All I know is that I better get a response, damnit, Kagome. It's important."_

_Such a jerk_, she thought as another tear ran down her pretty face. She was tempted to throw her phone into the wall so hard that the wall would start crying, too. Voicemail number 2, here we go. _Get yourself together, Kagome._

"_Okay, maybe that wasn't my best approach. You're sensitive…right? So you get upset over stupid shit, just like the other night. Okay, maybe that wasn't my best approach, either. But seriously, Kagome? I don't understand. I said you couldn't stay. Big deal. But ugh, okay, so I'm sorry. I never just toss out apologies to anyone, so you better accept it. Please."_

She smiled a little, but just a little. Remember, she was crying just a little, too.

"_Okay, so I know you told me to lose your number and blah blah blah. But you see, I couldn't do that anyways, 'cause you're my secretary. But yeah, I'm sorry about earlier. You were on your…your _date_, or whatever you want to call it. I don't see what you see in that Homo guy, but it's whatever floats your boat. I didn't mean to yell at you. I didn't meant to tell you that you couldn't stay, I mean…no, you couldn't stay, 'cause you know how this whole sex thing goes for us…uh, awkward. But I've been trying to get your perspective that night, you know, see things the way you did and why you got so mad at me that you ignore me for three whole days, and don't respond to any of my texts or answer my calls. I still don't understand it, so I was hoping you could tell me. I know it seems like I'm desperate but I'm not. And I'm not worried about you or anything like that, either…gross. But I said no more using you, and so far I've been keeping that promise. When you cry it gets on my nerves. But I hope you're home from your stupid date, 'cause I'm coming over in ten. I'll make it up to you, even if I don't see what I did wrong. I'll try. That's a start, right? See you."_

She didn't know what she was supposed to do. Her mind was blank and before even thinking, she hurriedly called him.

"**Higurashi,"** he said, sounding slightly annoyed. **"You finally decide to call me back?"**

"You _cannot _come over," she nearly shouted through the phone, about to fall face first into her pillow and scream in panic. Her eyes were red and puffy, she was sure, with mascara staining her cheeks. "Listen, not tonight…"

"**Who ever said that's what I came for, anyway?"**

"I'm not going anywhere with you," she spat. "I'll go hide somewhere and make sure the doors are locked."

"**It's only 8:30, you know. You have no choice but to go. I'm trying to be nice to you, which is a rare occasion. So accept my fucking offer, wench. I'll be there in five."**

She wanted to slam her head into her wall and cry some more when she realized that he'd hang up and that she was trying to argue for no good.

**XXXXX**

"So I'm here. What do you want?" Kagome asked him rather suspiciously once she slammed his car door. She had fixed any running makeup by wiping it completely off and changed into a pair of old jeans, and a baggy, off-the-shoulder shirt. She had removed any jewelry. She wanted him to know that he had better not try anything with her, so help her god.

He said nothing, just grimaced at the sound of his car door slamming, eyes flaming and teeth clamped together, probably trying his best not to start another argument.

Her stomach rumbled again and she sighed, just wanting to go back home, get something to eat and find some ice cream and then go to bed.

"You're hungry? I thought you went on a date." He questioned suspiciously, and she immediately knew what he was thinking. He was thinking that her and Hojo had only had sex. This was why they never got along. It was like it killed him to think better of her. But it shouldn't matter, anyway. She just wanted to go home.

She groaned in frustration. "Italian isn't really my thing."

He smiled. "Thanks in advance. So, Burger King, I guess?"

She laughed out loud. "You're taking me out to eat? I figured you wouldn't care if I starved to death."

He shook his head, his eyes narrowing on the road. "You assume things too much, you know? That's why we never get along."

"No," she said, looking back out the window. "We never get along because you assume shit too. You thought I was fucking Kouga earlier. And then you thought I was gonna fuck Hojo. And then, don't even get me started on the way you're always putting me down and making comparisons between me and Kikyo. You really suck for that. You never try to know the real me. You just always assume that I'm the worst of the worst because of the people I slept with before you. And you're really fucking stupid for that one. Me and Kouga dated once and from then on, we were on and off. We've been off for a while. Me and Bankoutsu, too. As for Hojo, he loves me, or he says that he does. He didn't try to get into my pants tonight and I wouldn't have let him. But it doesn't matter anymore, anyway."

She didn't know why she was telling him all this. She felt like she was trying to prove herself, and her mother had always told her that she didn't have to prove herself to anyone. She'd told her to be the good girl she always had to be. None of that had worked out. She wasn't a good girl, no, not anymore. But she was far from the _worst _girl.

He looked over at her, surprised, and she didn't even notice. She was looking out the window still, wishing that she could just swallow her words, take them back and bury them. But it was already out now. She didn't wanna have to prove herself to anybody, especially Inuyasha.

He didn't know what to say so the first thing that entered his mind, he spoke it. "I mean, what am I supposed to think? And when's the last time I even compared you to Kikyo? You hardly remember, because I haven't lately. Why does it get to you so much, anyway?" his voice was raising. "I mean, you're Kagome Higurashi and you've always been tougher than nails. You never cared what people think, so why does my opinion matter?"

She snapped her head to look at him. They were in Burger King's parking lot now, and of course, an argument was ready to come. "So what do you think about me? What's your great opinion of me, Inuyasha? Because it seems like you only care about _your _opinion."

"You don't want to know that right now, Higurashi. So back the fuck off, shut the fuck up, and get out the car and come inside with me before you get us in more shit than we already are…"

"Oh, never mind, I already know you're opinion. You think I'm stupid, you think I'm a whore. And you think that I could _never _compare to Kikyo, and you know, I know that I can't! I don't see how she put up with you! Whether we liked each other or not, I'm sure she would kill you for hearing the way you talk to me!" he smelt tears close by. "I'm so tired of being pushed around by you and having you talk the way you do to me! And then you wonder why I'm fucking ignoring you, you _jerk._ It's because I fucking _hate _you. I hate you treating me the way you do! I never did _anything _to deserve this from you—"

"You didn't?" he said quietly. "So you're telling me that you didn't call me a worthless half-breed, an abomination, a piece of shit!? You're saying that you never said any of that at all?" he laughed coldly. "You betrayed me way before you decided that I 'betrayed' you. So you didn't think that it hurt to hear Kikyo tell me what you said when you said you'd never leave me, and when you said that you'd never judge me and that you'd always be there?"

"What the fuck are you talking about!?" she screamed, tears flowing freely, sliding down her cheeks and over her plump, pink lips, down her chin. Her tears were so big and steady that he wanted to bury his head into his hands and scream. "I never said _any _of that shit! I loved you and you left! You left like I didn't mean a damn thing to you, Inuyasha, and how do you handle that!? I could call you all of those things right now, fuck, I could've called you all those things back then for fucking me over so many times and blowing me off for your stupid, precious, and obviously vindictive, bitchy, jealous girlfriend, and don't act like you don't know why I _can't_ say those things. I _never _betrayed you. I never said _any _of those things!"

Her eyes were red and puffy, shiny, too. Her face was wet with tears and there was so much pain in her eyes that he was taken aback, and he wanted to comfort her. He believed her, he believed her more than anything in the world right now. _Because she had loved him._ And obviously, she still did. He wasn't so stupid that he couldn't take that little hint.

"Kagome…" he reached forward to put an arm on her shoulder and winced when she jerked away from his warm hand.

"Why don't you take me back home?" she asked rather quietly, tears still running down her face. She'd always hated him seeing her cry and he'd always hated the sight of her crying.

His head wasn't together so he couldn't think of anything else to say. She loved him, maybe she still did, and he didn't even know where to begin with trying to respond to her. Because he had _Kikyo_, he'd had the perfect life before she walked back in the door.

"No." He said simply. "Come on. You can order whatever you want to."

Somehow, he ended up in a booth at Burger King with her, watching her carefully as she took huge bites of her burger before shoving a mouthful of fries into her mouth, then watched her as she slurped noisily at her milkshake. He had just gotten a glass of water. He needed it, what she said to him still had his whole mouth dry and had his head bouncing off the walls.

She seemed content enough, even though her cheeks had tear streaks running down them.

Sensing that he was looking at her, she threw a fry at his face. "Don't look at me. I'm eating."

"Big deal," he smirked, but still a bit off balance. His head wasn't right at the moment, but he threw the fry back at her, hitting her square on the nose. She smiled a little, picked up another fry and threw it right back at him. "You eat like a pig, by the way."

"Well, so much for being a lady," she said quietly, slurping at her milkshake again. "I don't care."

He wanted her to _really _communicate with him, he wanted her to tell him how she'd _ever _been in love with him. "I really want to talk to you—"

"I'm done talking for the night. Talking does nothing but get me in trouble." She said seriously, munching on her bacon cheeseburger again. Her stomach was getting full now, and she was getting tired from all the extra work she put into crying and screaming.

Honestly, she felt like an idiot. She had just told him that she loved him.

"Don't be difficult. We need to settle some things."

"There's nothing to settle. What's done is done. Just let it go, Takahashi," she said, narrowing her eyes again as she finished up her food and her milkshake. She could tell people were looking at her as she sloppily ate, wondering how such a small girl could eat so much. This was making her even more agitated, and she just wanted to go home and hide her head under the covers and pretend this day never happened. "Look, please just forget about it. Nothing I said mattered anyway—"

"Are you done?" he asked, rolling his eyes at her. He wasn't in the mood for her attitude tonight. She was giving him a headache. "Let's go."

She wasted no time getting up and walking to his car. Night was starting to fall now, and she pulled out her phone to see that she had one text from Sango, two from her mouth, and another one from Kouga. Not in the mood for them, either, she rolled her eyes and shoved her phone into her pocket. Night was really starting to settle in, and just to her luck, it started to rain. It was getting a bit chilly, too. It was just fall settling in.

For just a split second as Inuyasha got in the car, turned the heat up and cut the radio on, she had great hope that he'd forgot about the whole argument earlier, and that he wouldn't ever bring it up again.

But when he cut the music down, her hopes were crushed. He opened his mouth to speak, hesitating for a second. "…so why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Tell you what?" she snapped, avoiding his eyes.

"You know…the thing about you…uh…you like me?" he addressed, completely timid now. She looked at him in surprise and almost disgust.

"Never mattered. You had Kikyo and I had nothing." She said, turning to look out the window now. It was pouring the rain.

"Just…why? Things were so simple before. No feelings involved. It was just…it was just sex. And now, you tell me that you lov-…I mean, uh, like me. Why? Were things not fine before?"

Oh, god, he was such a jerk. He couldn't even say _love _when it involved her…he was just making every much worse. "I plainly told you that I couldn't keep doing that anymore, Inuyasha. You know, it doesn't matter, I'll just get over it like I did before—"

"Before?" he questioned seriously.

"It doesn't matter!" she snapped, feeling like she was about to lose it.

"No," he said, "you said before…"

"Is it really that much of a surprise?" Kagome asked, looking at him incredulously. "You knew even way back in the day. You knew after we first met. You always knew, I guess. At least I supposed you did. And you hurt me anyway. Okay, so what if I really did love you? How disgusted would you be, on a scale of one to ten?"

She was feeling sort of desperate now, but she didn't know for what. Closure, maybe? For her own sanity? She didn't know anymore.

"Just shut up, you say the stupidest shit." He snapped, turning to glare at her before focusing his eyes back on the road.

"I wanna know." She said, determined.

"You know it was so much easier before…and then you just had to like me, or whatever." He said, his attitude offending her immensely. She was so tired of Inuyasha hurting her over and over again. It had been years and this time, she decided she couldn't let it happen.

"There was never a chance for me, was it? _Never_. But you chased away every guy that wanted me back then and you still do in a way. I don't want to talk to you anymore. Matter of fact, fire me. That would be easier for you. You wouldn't have to be so disgusted by seeing me. And then you could leave again, but for good this time. You could go back to be with your precious Kikyo, because you know what? There's nothing here for you, anyway. In fact, I would just _love _it if you went back to America and never came back. Go fucking dive off a cliff for all I care, Takahashi. This doesn't even hurt anymore." She was crying again, screaming at him, reaching over to punch him.

He pulled over. "Fuck, stop! You could've got us both killed! You don't mean a damn thing you're saying and if I really _did_ go away for good, you think it would stop all of a sudden and just go away? No, it wouldn't. It never goes away and if it does, you're a lucky one. But you know what? You've never been that lucky."

"You're such a jerk!" she threw a punch at his chest. "I'm leaving!"

He stepped out of the car, too. This little crazy wench had him in the rain, walking fast to catch up with her. The only thing he could _sense _was her anger, and all the hatred she had for him right now.

He grabbed onto her and she ripped away from him, only to turn around and smack him hard on the cheek. He stood bewildered for a second, letting it sink in. She had really just slapped him, and it had actually _hurt_. He grabbed onto her again, and she punched his stomach, trying her best to get him to let her go. Her tears mixed with the rain, you couldn't tell she was crying until you seen how red and puffy her eyes were.

He'd never meant to make her cry or hurt as much as she was right now.

"Get back in the car, bitch…you're gonna get sick! You're fucking crazy!"

"How about you get the fuck off me and stop calling me a bitch and trying to boss me around, Takahashi?" she screamed at him, her voice breaking.

He grabbed her arms, pushed her back against the car. "It was easier before."

"We can't anymore," she screamed into his ear. "It's always going to be more for me, don't you get that, you fucking _idiot_? I am _done._"

"Act like an adult, please, and get in the car. And I promise I'll drop it. You won't have to see me anymore, I'll help you find some place else to work…you know what? You don't even have to quit. I'll give you a promotion or whatever you want. Just stop fucking fighting me and get in the car…please. We won't mention this again."

She didn't know what it was, but she ended up listening to him. She was completely drained, hardly believing any of that just happened, her eyes staring ahead into the slightly cold night.

She hardly noticed when he slipped back in, placed a hand over hers and asked if she was cold.

"Yeah," she said meekly, eyes holding onto his for a second. He cut the heat up again, tossed her one of his old hoodies he had in the back.

"I'm sorry," she said after a while. "I didn't mean to slap you so hard, or punch you in the stomach, or scream at you the way I did. I'm really sorry."

He shrugged his shoulders, keeping his eyes on the road. "I deserve it."

"I almost got us killed," she told him.

"You were upset. I just wanted to apologize, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. You really didn't deserve what happened that night. I really was a jerk. It's…it's just a lot that's going on." He told her slowly.

"Kikyo problems?" Kagome asked, a little smile on her face. "You know, she really loves you. You've just got to show her more attention than you do and understand that her work is always gonna be important to her, just like yours is to you."

"I know things that you don't about your cousin, but anyway, let's not talk about that."

"Well obviously you do, I mean, she lied to you about all of that. And it hurts, you know? She's my family."

He looked at her pointedly. "You don't know her as well as I do. I'm sorry I believed her."

"I'm sorry I never told you." She said quietly.

He looked at her again. "But you know we can't do this anymore," she continued. "I always felt like I was going behind her back. Ever since the first night. And despite everything, I know that she really loves you and even though she lied, she doesn't deserve that. The sex will always be more for me, and that kind of makes it a bigger mess, you know? So we should stop. We should _definitely_ stop."

"We grew up years ago and we still act like kids. But I guess some things never change. But you're obviously smarter than me. We _should _stop, I understand even if I don't want to. We're adults. Adults should be experts at letting go of things," he said quietly.

"I've never been good at letting go," Kagome said quietly, almost sadly.

"I know." Inuyasha told her right back, his eyes catching hers as he glanced over at her. Her hair was wet from the rain and her eyes were sort of puffy and swollen and red, and her lips were luscious, swollen from where she'd been biting on it to soothe her nerves. He wanted to kiss her again, at least.

"We're stupid," she said with a frown.

"Yeah, you hardly know how to tell anybody that you love them." Inuyasha said with a roll of his eyes, but he kept his voice sarcastic so things wouldn't get too serious.

"I thought we were trying to make peace." She said, agitation laced in her voice as she shook her head at him. "I'm sorry for falling for you. It couldn't be helped though. I was just a teenager. It was kind of out of my control."

"You should have told me," he said as he pulled in front of her apartment. But really, he wanted to keep driving. He didn't want to let her go just like that. He wanted her to stay for a while, and he wanted to know the real her a bit more. But his head was still spinning from the things she said and from the things he was saying.

"Nothing would have ever changed. Everything would have been the same." She told him as she opened her car door.

"Nothing would have been the same, wench," he said, stopping her by grabbing her arm again. "Kagome—" her name fell from his lips almost desperately. He had gotten used to her. He had began to know her again, seen the way her mind ticked, the way her body ticked. He'd seen her in sweat pants and absolutely no makeup. She had cooked for him, worked for him, and unknown to him up until now, she had loved him. Actually loved _him_. And then he thought of all the boys she had been with in high-school, the ones she had dated and he remembered the day he found out she'd slept with Kouga. Kikyo had told him, but he'd smelt it on her anyway.

He had always loved her. Maybe in a weird, selfish, possessive, taboo kind of way, but he had still loved her. And he didn't want to let her go just yet. She was a breath of fresh air. Her being around in work made his day go by easier. The way she constantly argued with him had always intrigued him. And he had loved it when she was actually sweet to him. He loved it when she was just simply Kagome…no rude remarks or anything. He should've known by the way she kissed him…

He pressed his lips hard against hers, pulling her closer to him sort of roughly. She was never as bad as he thought her to be. The real Kagome was sweet and he had hurt the real Kagome, too. Unintentionally, of course. He had been so used to them hating each other that he didn't know how to do anything else. Her lips moved back against his, obviously wanting the kiss just as much as he had. He wanted to sigh in contentment, but instead, he ran his hands through her thick, dark hair, wishing to god he could fly away or…or _something_. Things had never been this complicated before.

Sex was easy. Pushing her against a wall was easy, making her beg for him was easy. Getting her wet for him was easy, too. Getting in her bed was almost too easy. For the first time in forever, he understood.

Loving her was hard.

He broke away from her, panting and his nose pressing into her neck, inhaling her scent greedily. He felt her small hand smooth over his hair, moving until she got to his ears. For the first time in a long time, he didn't want just sex from her. He wanted to lay down next to her, feel her against his side with her head in his chest like she always seemed to do in the morning. He had never really cherished her, never really bothered to be thankful for his breath of fresh air.

She broke away from him. He figured she would be crying again but she was strong, always had been. He knew that saying goodbyes were hard so she didn't say anything as she slipped inside of her apartment. He watched her the whole time.

Nothing really felt right anymore, and he could hardly believe this night had happened at all.

**A/N: I didn't take half as long this time! Still haven't got my new iPod, and I hate typing on this laptop and my computer. But you guys got what you wanted. You wanted to see more of what happened to them in the past, and here you go. There's more of the past to be revealed soon, so stick around.  
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**But anyways, I hope you guys liked the change up and I hope you can see that Kagome's getting stronger and that she's tired of being pushed around and she's finally standing up for herself. And yes, Inuyasha's always had feelings for her, I thought I made that obvious enough, but maybe I didn't. They grew up together, you guys. They were best friends and they did everything together, that is until Kikyo came into the picture, and by then, Kagome realized that she loved him. It'll come together even more as you read on, I'm not about to spill everything right now.  
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**But review if you loved it, liked it, hated it, despised it. Until next time, you guys! And thank you _so_ much for the reviews, every time I read them it makes my whole day.  
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	12. Just the Two of Them

"You can't just sit around eating ice cream all day, Kagome," Sango said with an exasperated sigh. "You've got to tell us what's wrong sooner or later, you know. That's your second bucket of ice cream, by the way. Put the spoon down. You're going to get fat."

"I agree," Miroku commented. "But you're not fat, Kagome. You're getting curvier. Your body is quite—" Miroku started, only to be knocked into the ground by a pissed off Sango.

"Shut the fuck up, lech," she argued, waving her fist around in his face, tempted to knock him unconscious. "You have a _wife_, and she's standing right here in front of you. Don't forget that!"

"Sango—" he whimpered, only for her to wave her fist around some more.

"Nothing's wrong, you guys. I was just out of ice cream," Kagome easily lied, focusing her attention back on the TV.

"You know what?" Sango said, snatching the remote and cutting the television off, a huge smile on her face. "I think we should go out today. You know, go shopping. That'll definitely cheer you up…and then you can tell me everything to get your mind off of it…"

"Inuyasha Takahashi is the farthest thing from my mind," Kagome said, snatching back the remote with a scowl on her face.

Sango looked at her husband, surprised, then back to Kagome. "Who said anything about Inuyasha?"

"You were assuming it," Kagome growled, shoving another spoonful of cookie dough ice cream into her mouth.

"What happened, Kagome?" Sango asked almost desperately. "I'm your best friend, you can tell me these things. Miroku, leave…this is girl talk, something which you're no good at."

"Actually—" Miroku started, just to be interrupted by Sango by Sango's fist. Terrified, he left without another word.

"Okay, cut the bullshit," Sango said, looking at her friend seriously, concern the only thing in her eyes. "Something happened with Inuyasha, I'm not dumb. You've been moping around all week. You haven't been to work. You've just been staring at your phone, and you've been watching soap operas and eating tons of ice cream, and god, don't even get me started on the bags under your eyes. And plus, they're always red and puffy. You've been crying a lot. So what's going on?"

Kagome grimaced. "You could've just told me I looked like shit. That would have been much better."

"Kagome…"

"It's over, okay? I ended it. I ended up making a fool out of myself by telling him I love him. And of course, he would never be able to return my feelings. He's hated me ever since I fucked Kouga, and it's going to stay that way. It's not like I was expecting him to fall in love, because a love can't grow through just sex. But Kikyo's coming back soon. Mama told me. And they're going to be together." Kagome admitted, taking in another spoonful of ice cream, eyes glossy.

"You really love him, huh?" Sango asked, a frown on her face. "Well, you know, ever since he started seeing you more, he seemed…happy, and not so worried about Kikyo. Maybe not at first, but I don't think he hates you. Never thought he did, and I don't think he can."

"He thinks I'm just a whore, somebody to be used like everyone else sees me," Kagome said with a sigh. "I'm not going to work. We had this huge argument and I told him I hated him, and that he could move back to America for all I care. And then I almost ended up getting us killed. It's just…a very, very long story and I'm in no mood to talk about it."

"If you don't it'll get worse," Sango said, taking a seat beside her best friend. "But really, there's no way he can hate you. Otherwise, he couldn't even fathom the thought of sleeping with you. And plus, he said he wasn't using you."

"He lied to get what he wanted, I told him I didn't want to do it anymore. And I told him that again, told him it was always gonna be more for me. And he agreed." Kagome said slowly.

"Don't tell anybody, but I was kind of rooting for Inuyasha," Sango told her, staring into space now as Kagome surveyed her curiously. "I knew you two liked each other. And I know that it wasn't getting anywhere back then. But before Kikyo came into the picture, I was so sure you two would eventually get together. It was…I guess it was just the way you two looked at each other. And he was hurt when you slept with Kouga. He felt betrayed. Hating someone is easier than loving them, don't you agree?"

Kagome shook her head, eyes getting glassy once again. "I feel like I'm in competition with the past, Sango. It's just…it's just the fact that so much shit went on between us, and it's still unsolved and there's so much unfinished business."

"Solve it and finish it," Sango said to her with a small smile. "Even if it breaks your heart. But that's when you know it's love. It's not love until it feels like you're falling apart."

"I fell in love alone. I fell apart so many times in front of him it's ridiculous. You honestly think we could ever be _friends_? We'll hate each other until it takes all we've got left, you know? Because that's all we've ever known. Hating him was always much easier than loving him. I was supposed to be over this by now, Sango. And that's why I feel like I'm in competition with the past. I've got to get over him one way or another…" Kagome murmured, burying her head into Sango's shoulder. "Can we get drunk tonight, please?"

Sango rolled her eyes and pat her back before gently pushing her away. "That's your problem. When things don't go your way, you can't always depend on alcohol to solve your problems. You're a big girl now, Kagome. And maybe you're not over it because you're just not supposed to be. Maybe it's not the right time in your life. Maybe you need another chance and just a bit of faith."

"But Sango—" Sango interrupted her, putting a hand up to stop her.

"Enough, I've been way too easy on you. Kagome, you're absolutely gorgeous. Kikyo can hardly compare to you. And yet, you bring yourself down over stupid things. And no, I'm not saying Inuyasha's stupid, but you have to wake up and realize some things. Fucking doesn't make it go away. It just makes you feel like you're wrestling with your demons. So you need to step up, be the good girl you always have to be, and respect yourself for once. And I'm not saying you disrespect yourself, either, because I don't think that not respecting yourself has to do with your body and what you do with it and how you flaunt it and who you give it to. Self-respect is about making choices that make you happy, and honest to god, when's the last time you did something that made you _truly_ happy?"

She watched as her best friend fell apart and came completely undone, right then and there. "I'm the one who carried myself through the fact that he left me and hurt me and didn't even say goodbye. I'm the one who felt like I was falling in love when I fell to the floor drunk, and I always felt like I was falling alone. I'm the one who picks my body up off the shower floor. I feed myself, I tuck myself into bed at night. I keep trying and I push on and never once have I gave up. Isn't that enough? Isn't that self-respect? I learned to love myself because nobody else was going to do it for me, especially not Inuyasha Takahashi." Kagome nearly screamed through tears.

Sango pulled her close and rocked her. "Sometimes people don't want to say goodbye so they end up saying nothing at all."

Sango continued to run her hands through Kagome's dark hair, still holding her so close she thought she might have been suffocating her. But she knew she wasn't. She knew that Kagome needed this. She needed someone to hold onto her tight and kiss her and hug her and tell her everything would be fine, even if they were all lies…

**XXXXX**

Three weeks later and he was thinking about getting out of this place. Wasn't it just a ghost town? Was this place not where Kagome came back to haunt him and wrap him around her little finger like she always used to do when they were kids? When they were friends? When things weren't so complicated?

But he didn't even feel homesick. America wasn't his home, really.

Maybe that was why he moved back. Maybe he moved back because he was trying to find a place that felt like home. And maybe this wasn't the place to feel at home, either. Not in a town like this, where soul-mates only come around once or twice every hundred years. Not where your parents try to ruin your life over again, and not where you rekindle an old flame that was supposed to be long gone and taboo. Not a town where you got flashbacks and memories of all the bad things that had happened. Wasn't he supposed to feel good being back here instead?

He went to bed last night and all the other nights, felt like shit. Woke up this morning and all the other mornings and still felt like shit.

The new secretary was a bubbly girl with a bright personality, but she was also very dim-witted. She was pretty enough, not like it was required to be pretty, and he was sure she had a boyfriend but last week she'd asked him if he was single and when he'd told her he was, she'd gave him this little smile and asked if he wanted to come over for dinner Friday night.

He had almost got in her face and screamed. But he'd politely told her no, instead. After all, that _was _the right thing to do, was it not?

He felt like he was suffocating when he was at work. His secretary was always somewhere filing her nails and popping her bubble-gum way too loud and giving him these looks that were starting to make him a bit uncomfortable. And then she was always putting a load of that sticky, bright, pink stuff on her lips, and it almost made him sick. Her skirts were always too short, her breasts almost as huge as mountains.

Yet, this was the woman Miroku had tried to get him to sleep with. He felt disgusted, knowing that he used to go for girls that were like his current secretary. They all seemed pretty annoying, to be honest, and he found no interest in her.

He could probably have her body underneath his in a heartbeat. He could have her against the wall, against the desk, in his apartment, in his car if he volunteered to give her a ride home. From the looks of her, he could even have her in the bathroom.

Anyway, Kikyo was coming back to visit today, so why did he need anyone else? No, of course he didn't need anyone else, not anyone besides Kikyo…

He was going to pick her up tonight. He was going to take her out to dinner, buy her whatever she wanted, which just the way that she liked it. He had a few diamonds waiting for her anyway. Maybe she'd take him back and they could work out. Maybe they would be strong enough not to let anything get in the way of them, this time. Maybe, just maybe.

He had brought flowers for her earlier. He woke up this morning with intentions of impressing her and only her.

He hadn't been in a relationship so long he had forgotten how it was supposed to be, but he was trying.

So he still felt like shit, even when he drove to the airport to pick her up. She had told him that Mrs. Higurashi had volunteered, and that she'd rejected, saying she wanted to catch up with her boyfriend, and that was what surprised him. He didn't even know that she had still considered him to be that anymore.

He tried to feel excited about her return, he really did.

She had the biggest smile on her face as she spotted him. He took her bags, packed them tight in the back. When he turned around, she greeted him by planting a gentle kiss on his lips, wrapping her arms tight around him and burying her head into his shoulder.

"_Inuyasha_," she muttered, her breath warm against the nape of his neck. "I missed you so much."

And he'd never felt any more guiltier in his whole life.

"I missed you, too," he muttered almost dully before planting a kiss on her nose, making her giggle. Funny, he almost had no memories of her laughing. He had memories of hair-dryers being thrown across the room, aiming for his head. He had memories of punching the wall, just inches from her face. He had memories of being accused of things he didn't do, and he had thousands of things that weren't supposed to be said ringing in his head.

He opened the car door for her. She'd always been his princess and his love and his whole life, untouchable or not.

"We could go back to my place and watch movies if you want. Or we could go anywhere you want, just the two of us." He told her quietly, words leaving his mouth before he could even catch himself.

She looked at him in something close to disgust. "Um, watching movies at your place? Where has my Inuyasha went to?" she asked, trying to cover it all up with a fake laugh. Kikyo never smiled like she meant it. "I like the second option better. Take me somewhere really nice. You have missed me, after all, haven't you? I deserve to be taken somewhere nice. Just the two of us."

"Figured you'd say that," he said, eyes focused on the road. "I made reservations somewhere, just for us. No one else."

He glanced over at her when she put her hand on his, just in time to see that rare smile that anyone else hardly ever got to see.

"I've really missed you, Yasha."

Last time he checked, there was only one girl who liked to call him Yasha. After all, this girl had practically invented the name. But he kept Kikyo on his mind. There was no other way, and it was supposed to be like that.

Just like that.

**XXXXX**

"I think you should get bangs or something," Sango said, taking a sip of her strawberry milkshake. "Your split ends are gonna eat you alive, too. You need a couple inches hacked off or something."

"And I think it would be nice if you stopped making me feel horrible." Kagome said with a frown as she shoved a mouthful of fries into her mouth.

"Okay, Misses Bitchy Mood. How about we go job hunting for you?" Sango asked with a wide smile, teeth sparkly and shiny.

"No thanks," Kagome said with a smile.

Sango sighed in aggravation. "We just went out and spent over 200 dollars on lingerie, really, really cute clothes that you hardly even wanted, shoes, and I even took you out to eat. C'mon, Kags. This is…it's _weird_. I'm not used to you being so sad. It's really starting to creep me out, actually. You haven't even gave one cute guy the _look_, or even tried to get his number. C'mon, I feel like I'm losing my best friend."

"I'm just not in the mood, that's all." Kagome said as she finished up her food. She hadn't even bothered dressing up for her and Sango's little 'outing' today. Yeah, her hair was tied, her sweat pants sort of loose on her, and a hoodie was covering her even though it was nice outside. Fall was starting to settle in, but it was still warm. And so, who cared if she needed a bit of a haircut? Who cared if she wasn't wearing any makeup at all at the moment? It wasn't like she looked horrible. Kagome Higurashi always knew that she could pull off any look she wanted to without even trying, and she rocked it, too. And who cared if she wasn't her normal self at the moment?

She was all she had, so she had to be enough for herself.

"What can I do to make you happy?" Sango asked, almost like her heart was broken and all her hope was gone.

Kagome shrugged her shoulder, slurping at her coke. All of this fast food was definitely not good for her. Maybe she needed to go to the gym and lose a couple of pounds. "Kikyo is back today. Mom said she's out with her _boyfriend_, so I might as well get going and stop by to see her."

"And what're you planning on doing when you get home?" Sango asked, crossing her arms. "I hope that getting piss drunk isn't in your plans, as we've already discussed that."

Kagome simply rolled her eyes. "I dunno…Hojo wants to take me on another date tonight. I said I would be busy helping Mama."

Sango narrowed her eyes. "Kagome-"

"Jii-chan isn't feeling too well, so Mama told me she needed some help around the shrine, and she needs someone to keep Souta occupied…and plus, I have to deal with the whole Kikyo thing sooner or later. It won't be a big deal. I'll be fine. Plus, I hardly ever get to spend time with any of them."

"Alright, only if you're sure that you don't end up punching Kikyo in the face or something, considering the fact that her and Inu are back on again." Sango muttered.

Kagome smiled. "I'm feeling better, you know. All that crying I did last night really helped, and the fact that you were there for me helped, too. I can't thank you enough, Sango," she said dramatically, a hand on her heart as she let out a giggle.

Sango laughed along with her, grateful to see this side of her again. "What are friends for?" she said before a huge grin etched it's way onto her face. "How about we do a little more shopping?" she said with a raised brow, an evil glint in her eyes. "Let's make you look hot in case you end up running into Inuyasha. Let him suffer a bit, see what he's missing out on."

The same evil glint that was in Sango's eyes took place in Kagome's. With a devious smirk, she said, "Game on."

**XXXXX**

All he wanted was the world in the palm of his hands, and he had it right now.

Except for when she said those four words. His heart had stopped, maybe from surprise, and he was sure that he would pass out. "I wanna get married."

Hold up, wait a minute. Had he seriously just heard those words leave Kikyo Higurashi's mouth? She wanted to be with him, till death do part, all of that sappy shit? She wanted to be with _him _like _that_. She wanted to be a _Takahashi_.

He really did almost pass out. He was gasping for air now, nearly pushing her out of his bed. "Ki-Kikyo…"

She smiled a little, cold eyes staring into his. "I figured that's the only way you could make it up to me. That's the only way you can gain my full trust. Inuyasha, it's a good idea if you think about it, really," she said slowly. "We could adopt a kid or something. We're both successful…we know what we want. We're adults. I know things have been pretty rough lately, and I know we've been on and off over the years…but I think I'm ready."

For a second, he felt almost outraged. "Wait…_adopting _a kid when we could just have one on our own?"

"Yeah," she said slowly, like he was stupid. She sat up, clutching the blanket close to her chest."I mean, with work and all, you know I've got to keep in shape. And going through a pregnancy would just make me fat and miserable."

He growled. "You're lying."

She sighed, hesitated for a second. "No, I'm not."

He crossed his arms over his chest, self-doubt already starting to eat him alive. Was he…was he that bad? That she didn't even want to have a hanyou child? What would it matter? Didn't she want to be a _real _mother? Didn't she want something that they could call their own? Despite dog ears and exquisite looking eyes, did it _really_ matter? Was she that embarrassed of him?

"So, this is the only way I can gain your trust and love back?" He asked seriously, eyes boring into hers. She shifted and looked away from him. She was uncomfortable. She was scheming another lie, he knew this.

"Yes. You've hurt me a lot, Inuyasha." She said quietly.

"I shouldn't have to do all of that just because you feel as if I'm untrustworthy. That's your issue, not mine. I've been nothing but faithful," he told her seriously, and he winced, Kagome popping into his head for just a second before fading away. He wasn't gonna think of _her_, especially at a time like this. "I mean, I was the one who came home and waited for you. You wouldn't let me touch you. You reeked of other men. But then again, you're telling me that I hurt you. Did you _ever _consider how I felt, Kikyo? Just for a second?"

She scoffed, turning away again. "Of course I did. And we both made mistakes, Inuyasha. Don't put all of the blame on me. This is just another way of asking you to prove that love for me. Instead of just saying it, _do something about it_."

"I would," he said snidely, "but how could you even fathom the thought of marrying me, when you wouldn't even want to have my kids? And don't say that it's just about your body, 'cause it's way fucking more than that. You've always told me how nice it would be if I was human instead. So save the bullshit!"

"It's not like I think you're a beast," Kikyo said softly. "But think of everything you went through growing up. I wouldn't want our kids to go through that."

"Would you love them enough to even care?" he asked angrily, sitting up to swiftly put on his boxers and his pants. "If you loved me, you wouldn't give a fuck in the world what I looked like, or what our pups would look like," he caught the cringe on her face when he mentioned 'pups.' "You're so fuckin' shallow, Kikyo. Which part of me did you fall in love with? The real me, or the idea of me? Lemme get this straight. A real mother wouldn't give a fuck what her kids looked like, fuck, a real mother wouldn't even care if they had fuckin' tails growing outta their asses. A real mother would protect their child no matter what. Could you do that?"

She hesitated once more. "…yes, Inuyasha, but—"

He cut her off. "Just shut up Kikyo, and listen. I'd love to marry you. I'd do anything for you. But would you do the same?"

She looked at him, kissed him. "Of course I would."

"No kid of our own, then?" He asked almost sadly. But mostly, he was disappointed. More disappointed than he'd ever been in his life, and kinda numb, too, so Kagome ended up popping into his head again, and he wondered if she had loved him the way Kikyo did now, or if she had loved him in an entirely different way, where she would want to have all of his kids, accept him for what he was.

She shook her head slowly and he did the stupidest thing known to mankind.

He kissed her, heart breaking all the while.

She had always been so untouchable, so unreachable, even when she was right there in his arms, lips pressed tight over his and barely responding back.

**XXXXX**

She wasn't dumb. People knew she was smart, but they just thought that she was oblivious to some things.

So from the moment she'd ever seen them together, she knew that their bond was nearly unbreakable. She knew he'd slept with her baby cousin, she knew it would end up happening the moment she left him. Not that she was much worried about it, she'd had her fair share of cheating, too, those amazing one-night-stands.

But from the moment they were in the same room over the dinner table, she knew that there hadn't been just a one-night-stand. Kikyo had never been one for forgiveness, she was used to holding a grudge. So she leaned in closer to Inuyasha as he picked at his dinner, a lazy smile on her face.

Was Kagome feeling face down in the dirt, yet?

She always felt like there was this little competition raging on quietly between them when Inuyasha was around, even when they were kids. And she knew that she would _always _win him over. So as she continued to laugh and squeeze his hand, planting kisses on his cheek ever so often, she felt no remorse.

She always knew that Inuyasha had loved her baby cousin. After all, they had been best friends a long time ago, and up until this day, she could tell that the two still cared for each other, and maybe they always would. But it didn't matter, because she had Inuyasha right where she wanted him to be.

That thing when Kagome caught them fucking when they were teenagers- it had all been set up. Kikyo had wanted her to see. She had wanted her to cry. And it had never felt so good.

She'd always hated her for stealing Inuyasha Takahashi's heart first.

And now, she was getting pissed off. Inuyasha was just staring down at his fork. And they were dining on ramen, too, his _favorite_. And there was so much fucking _tension _between the two of them that Inuyasha wouldn't even look up from his plate, wouldn't even look her aunt in the eye when she asked him questions.

"Me and Inuyasha have finally decided that we want to get married," she said suddenly, a huge smile on her face. And then she felt Kagome's eyes boring into hers, and Inuyasha's, too.

A gasp of surprise came from Mrs. Higurashi, her aunt.

She looked up at Kagome and smiled, the sickening silence in the room ringing in her ears. She kept her eyes on Kagome's, though, watched as they watered a little, maybe from surprise. "I'm pregnant."

Inuyasha choked on nothing.

"You're—" he began, only to get cut off.

"I wanted my family to know first. I'm about four months." She said with a huge smile.

"My, Inuyasha, you're going to be a father so soon?" Mrs. Higurashi asked in surprise, and Kikyo twitched a little when she seen her aunt catch sight of Kagome. So she knew, too.

Everyone gave them a congratulations, and Inuyasha was much too in awe to say anything, and Kagome sat there looking at him, Kikyo watching in something close to happiness. "You don't look pregnant," Souta said, shoving noodles into his mouth.

"Well, Souta," she replied sourly, "it shows on some people more, and they get really fat and miserable looking. I guess I'm just one of the lucky ones."

Kagome, meanwhile, looked like she was on the verge of hyperventilating, her knuckles turning white from her grip on the table. She looked away, her fork clicking against her plate as she set it down and looked anywhere but at her own cousin and the love of her life.

Surprise hit her hard like a slap in the face when Kagome's eyes trained on hers, and she opened her mouth slightly to say, "Congratulations."

Mrs. Higurashi looked at her daughter right then and there, her heart breaking, too. And then she said, "Kagome, you'd better get going. You told me earlier you had a date with that new boyfriend of yours. You'd better not keep him waiting. Kikyo and Souta can help with some of the work around the shrine tonight. So go on, sweetie. I'm sure he's wondering what's keeping you."

Kikyo knew exactly what was going on. Mother trying to protect her self-destructive daughter, awe, how sweet.

Just as Kagome stood hastily, excusing herself from the table and planting a kiss on her mother's cheek, Kikyo asked, "Boyfriend?" with a vengeful smile on her face. "Last time I checked, you hadn't had a boyfriend in a while, considering all the sleeping around you do."

"Kikyo!" Mrs. Higurashi scolded, a cold glare shooting towards her niece.

Kikyo smirked. "Oh, so you didn't tell precious little Mama that you were fucking my boyfriend behind my back while I was gone? Shout out to both of you two," she shot a glare at Inuyasha, before her eyes settled back on Kagome, "I'm not stupid at all. But who did he come running back to? Who's having his child? Certainly not you, Kagome."

Mrs. Higurashi stood, face red from anger, slamming a hand down on the table so hard that all of the dishes went in the air, only to slam back down. "That is enough. I won't have any of that in my house, under my roof."

Kikyo wanted her to choke on tears or something, but her eyes narrowed when she saw that look of determination and fierceness in her eyes. Those same eyes that Inuyasha had fallen in love with. What was so fucking great about her? "I'm leaving."

Kikyo smirked again. "Oh, no. Do tell your mother dear about how he's the one you're in love with. Tell her about how he broke your heart by running back to me and tell her about how he still makes you wear that useless heart of yours on your sleeve. Tell her about all the different guys you were fucking at two in the morning while she was just a door down from you, sleeping after being worried about her _baby girl_. Tell her about how you fucked Inuyasha god knows how many times. Tell her about how he was the reason you smoked pot, and she didn't know a damn thing, did she?"

But she couldn't see what her baby cousin was feeling, because she kept on walking till she reached the door, not turning back to look once. But she slammed the door on her way out, and Kikyo stood to her feet and followed after her.

"Tell her about how much of a whore you are. Tell her that you feel like one, too, and maybe she can pull you into her arms and rock you to sleep! Tell her about how Kouga took your virginity when you were only fifteen. Tell her about that time you thought you were pregnant and you didn't even know who the father would have been! I found the pregnancy test back then, my dear little cousin. Tell her about how you thought of getting an abortion if you were! Not even giving the child up for adoption, but _abortion_. But it's a good thing you weren't pregnant and you finally got your period, right? It could have been Kouga's, Bankotsu's, Hojo's. Or maybe it would have been nobody's child!"

Her aunt stood shaking. "Souta, go to your room."

"But mom, Kikyo saying all those things about Kagome is mean if you ask me, and—"

"Souta!"

Souta left without another word, cringing at the sound of his mother's screeched voice.

Kikyo followed her outside, fury making her see red. She felt Inuyasha roughly pull her back, but right now, not even god could stop her from doing what she'd wanted to do for such a long time. Mrs. Higurashi was doing the same, trying to pull her back, and Kikyo wasn't sure if she slapped her or not.

"Kikyo, for fucks sake, stop!" Inuyasha roared in her ear, trying to pull her back again. She shot him a glare, almost ready to take her anger out on him. After all, he deserved it, didn't he?

Inuyasha was not the world's best lover. Maybe he hadn't cheated until they were broke off for a while, but didn't she call him almost everyday to tell him that she loved him? Didn't she love him even when she let Andre fuck her instead? Didn't she stick with him for a while, even though he was a half-breed? Hadn't that ruined her reputation, the one thing that was so important to her? Didn't she stick it out even when she knew he was fucking Kagome? Because that's what you did when you were in love, you stuck it out.

Without a second thought, she broke free of him, smacked him so hard she heard it in the silence of the cool night air.

"Who's the one that took you to get on birth control after that little pregnancy scare? Of course you wanted to be in it, because in your head you still thought you had a chance with Inuyasha! You didn't want him to think less of you than he already did, and does!" Kikyo yelled, tears breaking through. "And lord knows you needed it! You were fucking Kouga or one of the others almost every night, Kagome! But you only thought of having Inuyasha's baby, didn't you? You thought only of being with him. And all the sex and drugs and booze, it made reality a whole lot better and easier to deal with, didn't it? Because you have _always _known that he was never yours." Kikyo finished this calmly, tears still streaming down her cheek.

Maybe she had gone too far. She realized she really did when Kagome turned around to look at her.

"I _will _be somebody, and I _will _be the better person," Kagome said coldly, her bottom lip and voice trembling a bit, but she remained strong as she faced Kikyo. "If you think about it, don't forget that you were the one who actually ended up having the abortion, Kikyo," Kagome said. "You never wanted to be the mother of a half-demon child, did you? You think you're too damn good for that. And I guess I was just your shadow back then, wasn't I? Not anymore. I am my _own _person, and for fucks sake, Kik," Kagome said sadly, a single tear streaming down her cheek, "I can't believe I used to look up to you when all you did was push me away and push me around and take everything that I've ever loved." She laughed. "But you're good. You're really good. Look, you've made me cry. And you're having a child and marrying the one that I had dreams of having that with. But you won't disrespect my mother, nor my little brother. They're your family, too. I never thought you'd get so…so casket low.

"But I'm done. You can have your Inuyasha and your marriage. I wish I could tell you that it would all be the best, but it's not. You're going to be miserable. And maybe one day you'll be able to have a child again. You know, abortions have a way of doing that, messing you up so you may not have kids for a very, very long time, and when you think you're gonna have one, it just ends up dying before it even gets the chance to live." Kagome looked down at Kikyo's flat stomach. "But that was real nice, trying to break me like that. But I'm standing here, aren't I?" Kagome asked, wiping her tears away. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a date to go on. A real date. I've got someone who cares about me and his future's gonna be as brilliant as mine," she said as another tear slipped. "He's gonna be a doctor. He's gonna heal people, not hurt them like you or Inuyasha. From this day on, neither of you will be pushing me around ever again," she looked at the two of them. And it hurt her to see how hurt Inuyasha looked, but she let it pass. She let it break. "I hope you two move back to America and hopefully, one day Kikyo won't have her head so far up her ass and she'll realize that a child, half demon, demon, or completely normal, is a blessing. And maybe, just maybe, Inuyasha, you'll realize that I never judged you. Maybe you'll realize that for you, I would have disappeared. And I am."

Her mother moved up to her, remaining strong just for her and giving her a sturdy look, her heart threatening to break. Kagome laughed. She really laughed. "I'll be fine, Mama. Maybe not now, a week, or a month later. Maybe not even a year. But you should know that you raised your daughter to be strong and proud. I love you. And I'll call you when I'm home."

She leant forward to kiss her mother once again. "Thank you, Mama, for everything."

At that moment, Kikyo almost let out a bloodcurdling scream as her knees gave out from under her and hit the hard cement under her feet. And she sat there and cried, and Inuyasha wasn't even there to help her back to her feet. She balled her fists up in rage, pounded them against the hard ground until they were breaking skin and bloody everywhere, and she swore, it looked like someone had set the sky on fire.

But her aunt was there to pull her up, wrap her arms around her and hold her as she cried, walk her back inside.

Maybe Kagome had been right, after all.

Maybe she'd been right about everything.

**XXXXX**

He didn't know what had made him go after Kagome. He knew he'd be ashamed to look at her. Ashamed that he'd hurt her, missed out on her, pushed her to the side, made her heart break. He knew that he'd be ashamed to talk to her, too ashamed to even try to explain how he felt. Maybe he just wanted comfort of some sort.

How could she have kept all of those things a secret from him? Friend or not, he would want to hear whether Kikyo had had an abortion or not back then. He would have wanted to hear even though it felt like someone had stuck their hand deep inside of his gut and pulled just about every single functional piece that he had in his body out, heart and all. As a matter of fact, he was angry. He was so angry that he saw red for a second and that he started growling ferociously, banging at the door of her apartment so hard he swore the wood on the door cracked a bit.

But he knew she was in there, getting ready for that stupid fucking date of hers. He didn't want her to go at all, with that fucking doctor or rookie or whatever the fuck he was, with his dress pants and dress shirts and 80 dollar jeans and Polo shirts and suede shoes and slicked back, brown hair. And his fucking dull brown eyes. With his fucking expensive Armani suits and nice house and power to give Kagome all she'd ever wanted.

_No_, he didn't want her to have that, even if she fucking _deserved _it for all the shit he'd put her through. But God knew she needed someone to help her tuck herself in at night, someone to hold her and kiss her and call her beautiful and not use her and…and…just _love _her. She needed it more than him right now. She needed it more than she needed her mother or her job or the heat in her apartment or the clothes on her back or the food on her table.

He nearly went blind from the pain that ripped through his chest.

So his back slid on down against her apartment door, and he growled angrily, burying his face into his hands, a whole ocean stinging at his eyes and threatening to flow. But he never cried, and he never _would_ cry, so he thought that it was much easier to be angry than sad.

And yeah, he should be angry at her. He should walk in there and give her a fucking piece of his mind, rip all of her dresses up so she couldn't find anything to wear to that stupid date of hers with that Homo guy. He should push her against the wall and kiss her, not fuck her, but just kiss her, make her stay right there in his arms all night and hold on to her so tight that she'd never even think about ever going out with another guy. And then he could fuck her so good that the thought of ever fucking another guy would be eliminated, too. And then he could just mark her, like his father always said he was supposed to, make her _his_ forever.

He could hold her like a baby and rock her throughout the night while she cried, her tears wetting his shirt. He could kiss her until she forgot what she was crying over in the first place. He could lace her hands with his, kiss it. He could take her out somewhere nice and hold her real close to him, because you never felt closer to a woman than when you were holding her. He could buy them a bottle of wine or something, make her forget about all her problems. Better yet, he could make love to her until she came and came again and forgot about every single thing in the world except for him.

Why hadn't she told him? Why, why, _why_?

Maybe he would have changed his mind. After all, she was the first one that he wanted. Maybe he would have been done with Kikyo. After all, it was pretty obvious that things between them should have ended a long time ago. Maybe she wouldn't have been as self-destructive. Maybe the real her would have come out a lot more. Maybe it could've been them instead.

Kikyo had an abortion. No, she wouldn't have minded being pregnant, just not with a half-demon's child. Because she was always too good for that. She was always too good for him. She would always be untouchable. _Always_. And maybe, Kagome was too, now.

He stood, letting his anger win over his sadness. After all, what if that Hobo guy came up to the door, with him sitting here blocking him from knocking on the door, and he seen him crying over spilled milk like a little sissy? Crying like a _girl_. No, he wouldn't stand for that, and Kagome definitely wouldn't have the satisfaction of seeing him like this. He didn't care whether tears were spilled over her or Kikyo or the past, he wouldn't stand for that.

When you were so sad that you didn't know what to do, it helped to be angry.

He banged on her door again, pretty sure that her neighbors would come out and see that he was making a scene, and have him arrested or something. Not like he cared much. He knew she was in there. He could pick up that scent from anywhere, from miles away or from a room of crowded people. And she was crying and angry, too. He knew she was.

"Open up the fucking door, Kagome!" he yelled, ears on top of his head twitching rapidly, eyes like hot liquid. Again, he wasn't using his best approach. "Just…please. Open up the door, we need to talk."

He wasn't really expecting her to look like such a mess when she opened the door. Her brown eyes were red and puffy, as if she'd been crying for a while, and the only thing that was covering her was a silk robe. She didn't even open the door up all the way, she just cracked it slightly. Her eyes were narrowed at him.

"I'm getting ready for my date," she said, annoyed already. "Kikyo's pregnant, right, and you're engaged? So shouldn't you be at your apartment with her, picking out baby names and making the guest list?"

He didn't want to hear another word about Kikyo. He growled, eyes flashing red. "Let me in, bitch."

"No!" She yelled right back at him.

He swung the door open, gently pushed her out of the way and stepped in to take a look at the place. It was in a complete mess, he even spotted a broken mirror, pieces of glass shattered all over the floor. A vase was turned over, and the TV was loud, ringing in his ears.

She stomped her way in front of him, pointed her skinny little finger towards the door. "Get out right now, Inuyasha. Don't think I won't call the cops. I could even get a restraining order on your ass, take you to court or something. You're not welcome here."

She went on and on and on, but he wasn't really listening. He went about, picking up shards of glass carefully before throwing it away, picking up the vase, too. Her blood was fresh in his nose. He took one good look at her busted fist, and shook his head in anger, almost. "You stupid, stupid wench," he said before jerking her fist towards him to examine it. "You really could have hurt yourself. Did I make you that mad?"

She seemed like she was at a lost for words. "…y-yeah, actually, you did. I mean, your fiancé did."

Inuyasha sighed, taking her arm and dragging her to her bathroom. He had become so familiar with this place that it almost scared him. He immediately ran a wash cloth in cold water and handed it to her. He could lick the wounds on her hand, make them better. But it's not like she would ever allow that. "Here. Hold on, we've gotta make sure they don't get infected, you know?" he asked her softly, raising her chin so she could meet his eyes. And then he had to look away first. _He had to_.

He took off towards the kitchen, and it wasn't hard to spot the bottle of alcohol that he was sure she had been tempted to open. And she probably would have, had she not been getting ready for that stupid date of hers. He growled. He'd make her call and cancel one way or another. Not like he would have let her go just like that in the first place, anyway.

He took the bottle with him, took the cloth from her and poured a bit of alcohol on it. She was wincing and he hadn't even touched her yet. Was she afraid of him? His heart dropped, but he kept his eyes steady on what he was doing, and not on her eyes. He just couldn't look at her right now. He couldn't.

She let out a whimper as soon as the cloth made contact with her skin, her eyes closed in pain. He wanted to be small enough to inject himself into her smooth skin, take all of the damage away and make her like brand new. Miracles never happened just like that, though. So he watched instead. "Here. Keep pressing that onto your skin, you should be fine."

"But…Hojo…" she muttered, eyes meeting his again.

Once again, he was the first to look away. "You're not going anywhere."

She nodded, pressed her lips into a thin, tight line before she opened that big mouth of hers again. That was the reason why they were in such deep shit right now. "Here you go again," she said angrily. "Here you go. It's a fucking _date_, Inuyasha. I've stood the poor boy up so many times before. I'm going to get ready. You can leave."

He looked up at her, hurt obvious in his eyes. He was so good at masking emotions but something about her _always _made him lose it. But he tried to remain calm, and without any warning, he lifted her up, sat her on the counter. "I said to keep that on there," he said softly, "or else, it could get infected."

Kagome looked down at him, bewildered. "You'd be a good father, you know."

"Tell that to Kikyo," he growled, wishing that she'd get the point already. "You know…I could make it heal up real quick…if you'd let me, I mean."

"No, thank you," she said, a frown on her face.

He growled again. "She's not my fiancé. She's not having my kid. My nose would have picked up on it. She said all of that shit to push you to the edge, and you're actually believing her?"

He almost felt betrayed again.

"Not my business, anyway," she snapped. "You don't have to lie to me. I don't really care much…"

His eyes caught on to hers when his head snapped up at her words. "You don't?"

"No."

"Okay," he said through gritted teeth.

"Okay." She said, too, pressing the cloth tighter against her hand despite the pain.

"Kagome," he said seriously. "We need to talk, seriously."

"Okay." She told him, eyes still on his. But they were narrowed. Not in suspicion, but he knew that this time, she really didn't want to be bothered with him. It almost hurt.

"I'm sorry," he said pathetically, keeping his eyes on hers. "I've been meaning to say that for a long time. I'm sorry, and not just about the things that have happened recently, but I'm sorry for _everything_."

"You know, you really had me pissed off," she chuckled coldly. "Sure, Kikyo did a lot of damage with what she'd said. In front of my mother, in front of you, in front of Souta? I don't know what stopped me from jumping across the table or turning around to give her a piece of my mind and showing her that I'm not just a punching bag. I punch back," she said slowly. "But you didn't say a word. You sat there and let her talk to me the way she did, and even though we've hated each other for almost the whole majority of our lives…I thought you were actually kind of starting to like me. And I liked you too. I had fun in work with you. Not just the sex, but the arguments were kind of funny. I liked watching cartoons with you, I liked you holding me like you used to. I liked eating breakfast with you. I liked you being around, even if you annoyed me to no end, even if I had convinced myself that I hated you."

He sighed, raising her chin. "Kagome—"

"No. Let me finish. You know how sometimes your house will get messy beyond belief, and you're too lazy to clean it, but there's just a limit to the amount of mess you can put up with so you finally get up off your ass to clean and get some work done?" she asked harshly. "Well, love's the same way. There's only a certain amount of misery you can put up with. And that's why I'm completely done with you."

He growled, forcing her to meet his eyes once more, gripping her face roughly. He felt as if he was losing her and she was never even his. "Look, I know that everything I've ever done to you was wrong. Never believing you about Kikyo, putting her before my best friend, not answering your calls and texts and never hanging out with you back then and chasing every single guy away from you," he said, biting his lip. The look in her eyes was bothering him. It was like she was free, and he didn't want her to be free just yet. "And I know I've been a jerk ever since you came into my life again. I wasn't expecting it, though. I pushed you away and I pushed you around. I compared you to Kikyo over and over again. I made you feel like you were shit because I didn't wanna believe that you had the potential to be so happy without me in your life ever again. And you were there, like a completely different person, and you'd gotten stronger. I didn't wanna see you strong without me. I didn't wanna see you happy, 'cause I spent all these years trying to convince myself that I hated you whenever I really started to miss you and think of you and how you were doing. I thought you'd had a family, went off and married somebody. And you didn't do any of those things. So I didn't wanna see you happy."

She let a tear slip. "How could you do that to me when I learned to be happy for you and Kikyo?" she said, so much pain on her face in that moment that he just wanted to hold her, but it wasn't like she'd let him. She was trying to keep her distance now, even with him being so close to her. She didn't want to let him in. She was scared of him, thought he was a monster. She really hated him this time. He'd really done it. He'd really made her hate him. "I was your best friend, Inuyasha. You weren't supposed to start ignoring me when you got with my cousin. You weren't supposed to push away the only one who'd ever been there through it all. I wanted to see you and Kikyo happy, even if it hurt. Never did I _ever _want you to suffer, but you were the lucky one. You couldn't love me because she was all you ever saw and all you ever wanted. You didn't realize you were in love with your best friend only to be pushed away when you needed them the most. You're so damn lucky."

There was a whole stream of tears running down her face, now. So he couldn't take it, he pulled her close. "But I did need you, always did and always will. You were the one I saw first. You were the one I wanted first. Nobody but you, Kagome. So stop crying."

She pushed him away. "Don't you _see_? Kikyo loves you. She wanted me gone the whole time. She wanted nobody else but _you_, Inuyasha, and who am I to ruin that for her? Don't say these things now when you had the chance to say it before. Just _don't_."

"C'mon," he said almost desperately, starting to panic a bit as he cupped her face roughly. "There's gotta be a way to make you understand."

She shoved him away, livid now. "You honestly think you can tell me all this _shit _and expect me to believe you, when one second you've got your tongue down my throat and then it's down my cousin's? No, how foolish would I be to forgive you again? I _loved _you, you fucking jerk. I cried the whole first year you left and you couldn't even look me in the eyes and tell me goodbye. Whether you hated me or not, I deserved a goodbye. Everyone was too scared to tell me you were leaving. And then you left, the next day you were gone. We'd had an argument like a week before that, and then, you were just _gone_. And what was I supposed to do? Where was _I _supposed to disappear to? You hurt me so many times that I started disappearing into the arms of other guys, and you had the nerve to be _mad _at me for that? You had the nerve to fucking _hate _me for that?!"

"You were stupid, Kagome! Of course I was mad, of course I almost fucking hated you! Because how could you be blind enough not to see?" he yelled at her, taking a step away before he did something that he'd regret. "I loved you _too_, you fucking _baka_. And it fucking scared me, I hardly knew what the fuck love was! _My _scent was supposed to all over you, you were supposed to be _mine _and I didn't know what to do about that, Kagome! So I figured I'd be better off with Kikyo instead, considering that I never thought you'd feel the same. I thought it was a stupid fucking crush, damnit!" he was pulling at his hair, now. "How was I supposed to know, huh?! _How_, Kagome?!"

"Oh, you knew that I _always _felt the same, idiot!" She screamed, eyes turning into two beautiful waterfalls.

"Just _shut up_! You _always _had another guy begging at your feet, dumping them like they were nothing! So of course I didn't think you felt the same! I didn't know, I didn't fucking know!"

"And who made me that way?!" she screamed, the cloth that was supposed to be pressed against her hand was long forgotten on the floor. She pushed him, her hands trying to claw away at his face. He roughly pushed her away. "No, but I get called a whore when I was just trying to find someone who made me feel like my heart was never broken by you in the first place! And you put me through hell for that! Can you _blame _me?"

He shook his head, eyes flashing red. All he knew was that he had to get out of here. She followed behind him, pushed and hit at his back, sharp nails leaving little scratches and red marks on his skin.

"Fine, leave then," her voice quivered. He stopped to turn around and take a look at the fucking crazy girl he'd had the misfortune of being in love with for _years_. She took the first thing she could grab, chucked it at his head, and he ducked every single thing she threw his way, his teeth gritted together. A pillow. A shoe. A book. A glass that shattered to the floor. Things got real when she picked up a knife.

She was against the wall before she could hardly even pick it up and it fell to the floor. She gasped in surprise, and he knew that she hadn't known she'd picked it up. She had just been looking for anything, blindly throwing shit in her rage.

"Calm down," he whispered in her ear, wrapping his arms around her. "Calm down, Kagome."

She choked on her own tears, wrapping her arms tight around his neck and gripping on to him for her dear life. He rocked her, ran his hands through her hair and bit her ear softly before kissing it. "Shhh, it's okay. Everything's okay. And if not, it will be eventually."

She looked at him, still too choked up to even say anything back to him. And without any warning, he hoisted her up into the air, picked her up like a child and carried her into her room, laying her down and settling himself beside of her.

"C'mere," he told her, opening his arms for her. She cuddled in to him, into his neck and he kissed the top of her head, patting her back and rubbing at it as he tried his best to soothe her, just like he used to do back when they were kids, back when she'd found out her father died. He remembered a scene just like this. He remembered her warm breath hitting her neck, remembered how smooth her hair had always felt. His shirt was getting wet, so he went ahead and took it off. He smiled a little, realizing that if he kept it on he'd probably have to wring all the tears out of it tomorrow.

His hands ran up and down her back, up and down her side as he continued to hush her soothingly, plant kisses all over face, not once touching her lips, though.

There they lay, just the two of them. And when she finally calmed down enough to doze off, he followed right after her.

**A/N: Well, I don't have much to say. Guess this chapter kinda speaks for itself. And it breaks my heart, too. Seriously.**

**Sorry for any mistakes. Still haven't got a new iPod, but once I do, you can expect faster updates. That is, if I get more reviews this time…it doesn't really bother me much, but still, I love hearing what everyone's thinking. I don't want it to be just another story. I want it to have an impact on people. Every single thing I write is little bits and pieces of my own life, so this story means a lot to me. And by the way, I'm just making things up as I go along and praying that it'll turn out fine. I think it's going well, though. More of the past is to be revealed soon. Guess you all are sort of in the dark. But yes, Kikyo did have an abortion as a teenager, and yes, it was Inuyasha's child. And no, she's not pregnant at all, she just wanted to get under Kagome's skin.**

**I don't hate Kikyo much. Yeah, I don't like the way she handles things, but I can respect her and kinda feel her pain. As for the drama with Inuyasha and Kagome, maybe it'll end soon, maybe it won't. It's wherever my mind decides to take me.  
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**So…more reviews this time, please? Every single one of 'em encourages me and touches me. Makes me feel all kinda mushy things. But it's 12 in the morning, and I've got school tomorrow. So waking up to a few reviews would be real nice, whether you're telling me you hate it or telling me you want more, or telling me that what I'm doing is great, or that I need to stop and fall off a cliff or something. Either way, I'm not gonna quit on this story :D**


	13. The Joy in the Pain

She got a little fearful when she awoke to feel a pair of strong, toned arms wrapped tight around her waist and felt someone's heavy breathing hitting her neck.

She sat up, rubbed her eyes a little, remembering to be thankful that it was sort of dark and plain in her room and that she had blinds in there to protect her eyes from the harsh sun. But as far as she could tell, it was a beautiful morning, and a little smile broke across her face when she looked down to see Inuyasha shift a little before tightening his hold on her.

For a few seconds, she was happy…

And then reality came crashing in. It hit her so hard that she fell back against her bed, waking a sleepy Inuyasha in the process. But she didn't care, she just laid there with her eyes closed, tears already starting to chase after her and break her apart. She sniffed a little, took a pillow to put over her head.

"Kagome?" she heard him ask quietly. "You okay?"

She spoke back, never taking the pillow away from her head even though she was sure he could smell the tears on there way. "I'm fine," she said quietly. "You should be leaving soon. You're probably late for work."

He didn't say anything back, so she figured he was already up and pulling on his shirt. And she wanted to scream when she realized that he'd taken it off last night after she had completely soaked it with her tears. Right about now, she wanted to crawl into a corner and die, or something. Anything would have been much better than this embarrassing moment.

"…I'm not leaving you," he said quietly. "Take that pillow away from over your head. I already know you're still upset, and that's why you're spending the whole day with me."

"Excuse me?" Kagome asked, and Inuyasha realized her eyes had bags under them when she threw the pillow away from over her face. "You're the last person I want to be around, Inuyasha."

"I wanna see you happy," he said, looking down, unable to meet her gaze. "I wanna see you smile today, and laugh. I'm not gonna tell you to try, 'cause you can't just force it. I want it to happen on it's own. I wanna believe in you, and I wanna help you believe in anything, 'Gome."

Kagome quickly opened her mouth to protest but Inuyasha silenced her by pressing a finger to her lips. "You can hate me all you want," he said, his voice low and eyes hopeful as he looked up at her again. "But not today. I'm gonna make you smile no matter what and it's gonna be something great. Don't you wanna smile?" He asked her softly, leaning forward to stare into her eyes expectantly.

"You do remember all the things we said to each other yesterday, right?" she asked, an eyebrow raised as she crossed her arms and pulled her sheets closer around her to shield her from the cold morning air.

He nodded. "Yeah," he said, "and we'll talk about it later, promise. But right now, how 'bout we just go back to sleep? We've got the whole day to ourselves, and maybe later we can go out somewhere if you want to."

"I'm not going anywhere with y—" she started, only to be interrupted when he tucked her in tightly, planting a kiss against her forehead and holding his lips there for a second, his mouth pressing a smirk into her skin when he heard the way her heart sped and then skidded to a stop, only to start back up pumping ferociously and racing underneath her chest.

"Not one single bit of sass from you today," he said before slipping back under the covers, pulling her close to him. She resisted at first, wondering why in the world this was happening to _her _of all people. "I'm staying right here till you fall asleep in my arms, just like you used to do when we were kids. And then, I've gotta go take care of some business. But I'll be right back here when you wake up, okay?"

"You think this is supposed to make me forgive you?" she asked in disbelief. "Inuyasha, I don't want you here at all. I want to be surrounded by the people that love me, not you. I don't want you to make me smile and rip my heart out of my chest the very next second. You can't hurt me anymore. The damage has been done long ago."

"Hurting you was definitely never one of my intentions. Come to think of it, you never gave me a second chance. Well, I want one and I won't screw it up, I promise. And I always keep my promises," he said, pulling her closer as he gave her a look that told her to trust him. And she wanted to more than anything. But she wouldn't, she couldn't. She pulled away from him, maybe because she was scared or because she just didn't know what else to do. He frowned, the look in his eyes almost pitiful. "Kagome, I'm sorry."

"Why can't you just see that I don't want anything to do with you anymore?" she asked, her voice cracking. "Why now, Inuyasha? Why are you sorry now, out of all the other times you could've been sorry and I would have forgave you? I was sorry for the whole Kouga thing, I was sorry when I went behind my own cousin's back with you. I was sorry for everything I've ever done that hurt you or me. And now _you_ want to be sorry. That's not fair."

He sighed. "I know. All I'm asking for is just a second chance and I promise you, I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make up for every single time I've hurt you. I'll spend forever."

She was about to fall out of the bed because of how far away she was moving from him. "W-what? I told you, it'll always be more for me."

But the words echoed and boomed in her head over and over again, _"I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make up for every single time I've hurt you. I'll spend forever."_

He laughed, to her surprise. "I don't want sex from you. I want another chance. I want another chance to be close to you and know the real you, 'cause I've missed out on so much, and don't tell anybody…but I-I missed you, Kagome. I never said goodbye 'cause I never wanted to believe there was really a 'goodbye' between us. I want just another shot, and if I screw up, it's all on me and I'm out of your life for good. So that's why I _won't_ mess up this time."

She didn't say anything. What _could _she say?

"You're not going back to sleep, are you?" he asked after some time, yawning a little but his hold on her was still considerably tight. He'd somehow wormed his way closer to her and had ended up holding her again. She didn't even know where it started or where it ended, but she wasn't uncomfortable. It felt right, but just because it felt that way didn't mean he was forgiven.

"I want a shower," she muttered. "And I'm hungry. I want pancakes and bacon and eggs."

His chest vibrated against her back when he started laughing. "Right up. How about you take a shower while I work on that?"

She rolled her eyes. "This is really hard for me, you know. But you being like this…it's just _weird_. I'm not depressed and I don't need you here to watch after me. I'm a big girl. I'm not gonna spend the rest of the day crying or anything like that, and I'm not gonna do something I'll regret. I don't need this. And by the way, I'm perfectly capable of fixing my own breakfast."

He grinned a little. "But I wanna do all this. That's all, Kagome. I wanna spend time with you, and I definitely don't expect you to forgive me for all I've done anytime soon, but I want to work through it. I wanna show you that I'm truly sorry. And even if you don't forgive me in the end, heaven knows I tried."

Once again, she didn't know what to say. So she gave him a steady look before a smile spread across her lips. "I guess I can appreciate that."

**XXXXX**

_When he first saw her, he thought for a second that angels might exist in such an ugly world._

_And you had to believe him, it really was an ugly world. It was ugly when people pushed him to the ground, kicked him in his stomach and made him howl in pain. It was ugly when people pulled on his ears and made them sore, when they wouldn't let him play with them or even touch their toys. It was ugly when people said, "Watch out, he bites," or "Watch out for that kid, you might get rabies."_

_But he was drawn to her. It was a hot summer day, and his mom had _them _over, and when _they _were over it meant _she _was over._

_He caught her staring at him a few times and it aggravated him to no end. But as he said before, he felt drawn to her, like he wanted her to be his first friend, the first friend he would have ever made._

_Part of him kicked at a rock, wanting to remain uncomplicated. She was sitting on the ground with a stick in her hand, tracing her pretty name into the dirt. Kagome. He liked that name, thought it was unique._

_Part of him wanted her to look at him again. She wasn't looking at him in disgust or hatred like all the others, she was looking at him like she had all the interest in the world in him. And even if he was only ten, about to go on eleven, he didn't know how to feel about that. Would she turn out to be like all the other kids that teased him?_

"_Kagome!" his head snapped up at the sound of the young girl's mother's voice, and he watched as she immediately stood up, her stick dropped to the ground, long forgotten. He watched as the pretty little girl looked up at her mother, fingers pulling at the ends of her jean shorts. Her mother looked down at her, smiled. "Don't you think you're being kind of rude?" her mother whispered, but his ears easily picked up on what was being said. "Go introduce yourself to Inuyasha. He looks like he needs someone to play with, and you two might as well get used to each other soon. Go on, now. Stop being so shy. You're not like that at all, usually."_

_His eyes widened and his heart sped and he immediately wanted to run away when she turned to give him a small, shy smile. He knew she'd be walking towards him soon, and he knew he should run away, just avoid her._

_But he was frozen the moment she said her first words ever to him._

"_Hi, I'm Kagome," she said so softly that he almost didn't hear her. He kicked at another rock, and then, for some odd reason, he looked up at her, feeling angry. Their parents were nowhere around._

"_Keh, get away from me, wench. I don't need _nobody _to play with, your stupid mother was wrong," he said, even though he sorta kinda liked her mother. She had brought over cookies as soon as they moved here. And she had been so nice to him._

_This girl, Kagome, looked hurt, almost. "I-I'm sorry…but _hey!_ Don't call my Mama stupid! You're mean." She said, about to walk away and he was suddenly terrified._

"_Hey, stop…" he said, walking up behind her. "I'm sorry."_

_She turned around to look at him and give him a genuine smile, and he swore that he'd never seen something so simple and clean and pure. The image would be imprinted in his mind forever, he just didn't know it yet._

"_Do you wanna play? We could play hide-and-go-seek, or we could take turns pushing each other on your swing." Kagome said, so much excitement in her eyes that it worried him for a second._

"_No." He said simply with a growl._

_She frowned again, and he didn't know why, but he didn't like the sight of her frowning. "We can go watch a movie or something instead. Or maybe we could ride around on our bikes if your mom would let us." He said quietly, almost regretting that he said anything at all._

_She brightened up again, teeth shining as bright as the sun as she smiled. Then, she did something that made his heart speed. She took his hand in hers as they walked towards his house. "Sorry 'bout before. It's just that…it's that I'm always so _bored, _and I've got this little brother that mommy just had like a year ago. Anyway, all he does is pull my hair and he's too small to ride bikes with me or play tag or anything like that. All he does is cry and he's sort of funny-smelling."_

_He didn't pull his hand from hers. "You don't have anybody else to play with?"_

_She shook her head and then stopped, putting a finger to her chin in thought. He watched, amazed as the breeze blew through her hair. And all he could think about was how she smelt really good, how nice she was, and how small and soft her hand was in his, and how _nobody _had ever took his hand in theirs before. "Uh, yeah. My cousin, Kikyo. But she's into really girly stuff, like makeup and everything. So she never wants to ride bikes with me or run around. She's really boring, and she's kind of mean to me. So maybe you're different?"_

_She turned to give him that smile again and his breath caught in his throat._

"_People are mean to me all the time. You just have to learn how to deal with it and not let it get to you." He said, squeezing her hand a little tighter._

_She nodded. "Have you ever had someone call you ugly before?"_

"_All the time," he said, and she looked at him in surprise._

"_Oh, well you're not, just thought I'd let you know. But Kikyo's always pushing me around and calling me names and calling me ugly."_

_They were in his room by now, and neither of them had a clue to where their parents were. She jumped up to take a seat on his bed like she'd been doing it for years. He put a movie in, some movie that was really scary and had a lot of blood in it. He knew he wasn't supposed to be watching it, but he was beginning to wonder if Kagome liked horror movies as much as him._

_He took a seat beside her on his bed, not too close, though, and yanked on her silky, dark hair, making her whimper. "You are kind of ugly," he said with a smile as he got in her face. "Ugly wench."_

"_Hey!" she said, eyes watering a bit. "You're really mean."_

_He snickered. "Just kidding. You like scary movies?"_

_She looked into his honey eyes, realized that there was some sort of challenge in them. She smirked and accepted it. "I love them."_

_He smiled and kicked off his shoes as the movie began to play and things began to come into action. She kicked her shoes off, too, and lay flat on her belly, face in between her palms. "I never asked for your name," she said after a while._

"_Inuyasha." He told her, eyes still focused on the movie._

"_I like you, Inuyasha. People are mean to me and they're mean to you, and we both like scary stuff and riding our bikes, and our moms are best friends. So let's be best friends forever."_

_He took his attention off the movie right then. "You like me?"_

"_Yeah, sure. I think you're cool. And you're sort of like me. And we don't really have anybody else, so let's have each other." She told him in the most sincere and serious voice he'd ever heard._

"_I think you're cool, too. Let's be best friends and do everything together this summer." He said, looking at her with a huge smile on his face. No one had ever made him feel so good before, and he had someone. He had a _best friend. _Not a friend, but a _best friend.

"_As long as you let me play with your ears and hair, I think we'll be getting along really good, Inuyasha. Now, where's the popcorn?"_

_That was the first time in forever, it felt like, since he'd smiled so much. And it was just because of some stupid girl, but that stupid girl became his best friend._

**XXXXX**

Ms. Higurashi was in distress, to say the least. So when she looked up from her cup of tea to see Kikyo striding into the kitchen, she immediately stood to her feet in Mama-bear mode. But she decided against that when she seen how tired and weak the young girl looked.

"You want a cup of tea, dear?" she asked, not waiting for an answer as she began to pour her a cup of tea. Her hands shook.

Kikyo took a seat, her fingertips massaging her temples. It wasn't like it would make the headache go away. "I'm sorry."

After setting the cup of tea down in front of her, she took a seat again, trying to calm herself down. Here her niece was saying sorry when she wasn't even the one who deserved an apology. Her daughter deserved an apology. Inuyasha deserved an apology, and pour Souta also deserved an apology. The things that went down yesterday had frightened him to death, and it broke her heart to hear him ask, "Mama, do you think Kagome is okay?" or "Do you think she'll ever come back?"

It was all too much to take in. And Kikyo hadn't lied about the past, either. She had seen fire in her niece's eyes, and she knew that meant that nothing but the truth would come out. Even if it had broke her heart, the truth was the truth. Her daughter used to be a completely different person, completely heartbroken for who knows how long, and the worst part was that she hadn't known a single thing. Had she been too busy with Souta? Too busy dealing with her grief for her husband's death? Where was she when her little Kagome grew up?

But she hadn't called. Kagome would call when she was ready, she knew that much.

"You should be sorry," she almost spat out, about to breakdown. "You blamed her for all of those things, but you took something precious away from her, Kikyo. You almost stole all the pride my baby girl had left. You took Inuyasha from her and you knew you did. I don't deserve a sorry. My baby girl does."

"She's hardly a baby," Kikyo said. "You had no idea how I felt back then, or even a few weeks ago, did you? Inuyasha was mine. And she betrayed me, went behind my back and slept with him anyway. I'm not saying she deserved what happened yesterday, but I couldn't control it."

"In front of Souta you could have controlled it. If you had a problem with Kagome, you should have talked to her about it, _privately_. You shouldn't have broke her down the way you did. And I know she's hardly a baby, she's all grown up now," she said almost sadly, but then her voice was tough again. Kagome had learned from the best. "She slept with him because you two were off and she's loved him for god knows how long. I never thought anything would break them apart, and then you came into the picture."

Kikyo broke down, and all Ms. Higurashi could think to do was pull her into her arms, run her fingers through her hair and let her cry. "But I love him too. And I love you and Kagome and Souta, don't think that I don't. I love Kagome to death. But there's always been competition between us, _always_. And god, she's always been so pretty without even trying, and I wanted Inuyasha as _mine_. I wanted him to look at me the way he's always looked at her, but he's been looking at her like that ever since he first met her, and I _just can't stop it_."

Ms. Higurashi sighed. "Well, dear, how do you think Kagome felt losing him? Kagome used to look up to you."

"She shouldn't have," Kikyo sniffled a little. "She never told a soul about the abortion until I pushed her. She never told Inuyasha that I liked him better as completely human. She was so good to me no matter how much I tried to put her down, and she was there every time we argued, every time we broke up. And I feel horrible for saying what I said. I promise, I never wanted to. I never meant to. I just wanted her out the picture, and god, I wanted him to stop looking at her like he did in high school. We're adults and he still can't keep his eyes off of her. I never wanted to lose Inuyasha. _Never_."

Her aunt pulled away, touched her face and wiped her tears. "Now, dear, that wasn't really love if you liked him better as a human, now was it? You don't try or want someone to change if you love them. You accept them, flaws and all. Kagome's always did that for Inuyasha. He feels for her, too. You have to understand that her acceptance of him meant a lot to him."

Kikyo was quiet, and then after a while, she asked, "Am I really that bad of a person?"

"I think you're a great person with a lot of mistakes and regrets. I think you need to learn how to let go." Mrs. Higurashi said quietly, rocking her, now.

"She's always deserved him more. And he's always deserved her, too, huh? The truth breaks your heart, doesn't it? I was wrong. I was wrong for what I did and what I said. But how do I let go?"

"It's a hard thing," Ms. Higurashi said quietly, trying to soothe her by rubbing her back. "You never really let go. But it's like a broken leg. It still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to walk, and even dance with the limp. You put his happiness over yours. Were you two ever really happy?"

Kikyo shook her head and whimpered a little.

"There's your answer. Now let him go. Put your happiness over his. And it'll be hard, but don't you ever forget that if you do, it'll be the right thing. And I think you need something that's right to make up for all your wrongs, dear."

**XXXXX**

"_Who's that?" A fourteen year old Inuyasha asked, his mouth almost dropping in surprise. He was getting ice cream with Kagome. He never would understand why girls were so obsessed with ice cream, but after she had begged him to treat her to some with the big old puppy eyes she always got over on with him, he had hesitantly agreed._

_The girl actually looked a bit like Kagome, and he was sure he'd seen her around before, but he'd never really paid much attention. But it had been a long summer. And over the summer, the girls had gotten cuter. Even Kagome. He had began to take careful attention in the bodies of the opposite gender, especially Kagome's. She had gotten boobs this summer. They had appeared overnight, it seemed. And then she had gotten curves in all the right places. Her hair had gotten longer, and she'd lost a lot of baby fat._

_But gross, she was his best friend. So whenever those thoughts entered his head, he had to look down at the ground and will them to go away._

"_That's Kikyo, dummy. Don't you recognize her?" Kagome asked, licking at her vanilla ice cream cone. It was so hot today, and school was about to start back soon. And him and Kagome had nothing to do but sit around and watch movies together and ride bikes every once in a while._

_He looked at her, dumbfounded. And then he smiled. "Wow. She got really hot over the summer."_

"_Really?" Kagome asked softly, and he turned to look at her to see that she looked kind of hurt. "She's a year older than you, though," she said, grinning, but he could tell it was forced, "and she has guys falling all over her feet. In a way, I kind of want to be like her."_

_He growled. "No guys are gonna be falling over your feet anytime soon, wench."_

_She giggled. "Not like that, silly. She's cool when she wants to be. She even let me walk in a pair of her heels once. She even decided to teach me how to wear makeup."_

_He sighed, annoyed. "Girls think they're so pretty with that shit all over their face when they actually look like fucking clowns. You don't need all of that shit, anyway."_

_Kagome blushed a bit. "What're you trying to say, Yasha? You think I'm ugly then?"_

_He nearly spat out his chocolate ice cream, or choked on it. It was either one of those two things. And then he blushed. And when he finally spoke, he spluttered. "Uh…no," he growled, trying to take on his tough phase. "Of course you're not ugly, you stupid wench. Who put that idea into your head?"_

"_Well, Kikyo's just so pretty and—" Kagome was cut off by Inuyasha who turned his attention back to her older cousin._

"_She is really pretty. You made her out to be such a bitch, but I've never really talked to her," Inuyasha said. "I wanna go talk to her just for a minute. See if she's really the bitch you made her out to be."_

_Something sort of snapped inside of her when Inuyasha began to walk towards her cousin, who was currently flirting with the ice cream man. She twirled her air, pouted her lips, looked at him through long lashes. She almost felt…_hurt.

_Without really thinking, she grabbed a hold on his arm. "Yasha, wait!"_

_He turned around, aggravated and shrugged himself out of her grip. It felt like someone had just took her heart and ripped it out of her chest, kicked across the floor and then trampled all over it. And she just didn't know why, but she knew that she never wanted to feel like this again._

"_What is it, wench?" he asked, his attention on Kikyo once more._

"_What about me?" she said quietly, and then she caught herself. Her eyes widened as soon as the words left her mouth, and she wished she could take them back._

_He gave her one of those smiles that always took her breath away. "I'll be back soon. You can finish my ice cream if you want. But right now, I wanna see her up close. I wanna get to know her. Don't wait up on me if you don't want to."_

_She looked at him with her eyes still wide, not being able to figure out if it was good or bad that he hadn't caught onto the true meaning behind her words. She wanted to slap herself. How could she have been so stupid to say something like that?_

_She looked down to the ground, kicked at a rock. Maybe she should start trying to be as pretty as Kikyo and figure out how to wear her makeup without looking like a clown. Maybe she should start wearing heels and short skirts and belly shirts, too._

_But none of it would change how she felt that very moment Inuyasha went up to Kikyo. She was batting her eyes at him already. And then she realized how perfect they looked together, and she stood there so long her ice cream began to melt and drip over her hand._

_She tossed both of the ice cream cones away._

_And then she watched as Kikyo laughed when Inuyasha whispered something in her ear. And then, he took her hand, went off somewhere._

_She had no other choice but to turn around and head home alone. Inuyasha had never let her walk home alone before. Inuyasha had never forgotten all about her. And most of all, he'd never up and left her just like that._

_He could've at least came back to tell her that he was leaving._

_He could have at least told her goodbye._

_She felt that feeling that she felt earlier, the one she had never wanted to feel again. But little did she know, that feeling would nearly ruin her whole life for years._

**XXXXX**

When she got out of the shower and got dressed, she made her way into the kitchen to see Inuyasha standing in front of the stove, cursing as he flipped a pancake over. The sight made her want to laugh but at the same time, it made her want to pass out.

She stood there at the door for a while, the smell of burnt pancakes and eggs making her stomach turn nauseously. That's when she decided to take over. She walked toward him, and he turned around, a frown on his face as he did.

"I can't cook for shit, but it's the thought that counts, right?" he asked her, that frown still on his lips.

She did something she actually hadn't done in a while. She burst out laughing, clutching her stomach and almost falling to the floor. Inuyasha had never been able to cook. _Never_. The only thing he was good at making was ramen, and sometimes, even when he made that, she swore he burned the water. She laughed until tears sprang into her eyes.

But Inuyasha smiled anyway. He hated the fact that she was laughing at him, but the thing was that she was actually _laughing_. Real smiles and all. She was laughing so hard that he was sure she wasn't getting enough oxygen to her brain. She was laughing so hard she was crying.

"It's not that funny." He said, trying not to laugh himself. He felt like he as 16 again, felt like she was 15 again, felt like he did the first time he ever fell in love with her, felt like this was the way things were before it got bad, and it was exactly how it should be. He felt honored that he was the one who was making her cry from laughing. She wasn't crying because she was sad and words couldn't explain how good he felt for that.

"Here, let me take over," she said, trying to calm herself down, but a few giggles came after that deep breath she took. "I can't believe you still don't know how to cook. Thought your mom tried to teach you before?"

"She miserably failed, and obviously, I did, too. I'm sorry. Now there's smoke all in the kitchen," he said, stepping away to let her take over.

He watched her intently as she shook her head, a smile still on her face. She took the spatula from his hand, cut the heat down, and then she began to really take over, show him how it was supposed to be done. And she still had that fire in her eyes. This was the Kagome he loved. The real Kagome. And he was so grateful that he was standing here to witness it all.

"Want me to show you?" she looked back at him, a tiny smile on her face, and the only thing he could think of was the fact that they were making _progress._

"Yeah," he said, stepping behind her to watch as she poured pancake batter into the pan, expertly flipping it over. He was so close to her he could almost taste her, but he reminded himself that he had to keep his hands to himself, that he wasn't allowed to be that intimated with her anymore. But still, he couldn't help but step closer to her, watching her intently.

_She would be a good mother._

The thought popped into his head before he could stop himself. He shouldn't be thinking things like that, should have never even entered his head.

"I'm leaving soon," he blurted out. "But I'll be back."

She simply nodded, flipping the pancake again before pouring more batter into the hot pan. "Yeah, you said that before. I won't ask where you're going."

"I've gotta talk to Kikyo." He said, and then he realized that maybe he shouldn't have let that slip out.

"Baby names? Engagement rings?" She turned around to face him, her expression completely stoic. But her eyes told him a whole different thing, and there they were again, angry at each other.

"Why can't you just lay off about that? It's got nothing to do with that, Kagome, seriously," he told her, his eyes set hard on hers, trying to make her believe in him. But did she really believe in anything, anymore? He wanted her to believe in herself, and he wanted her to believe in him more than anything.

"Well, she's four months, right? Do you want a little girl or a little boy? If you have a little girl, I hope you make sure that no guy ever gets the chance to treat her wrong," she said snidely. "And if it's a little boy, please teach him to _never _screw anyone over and make all your mistakes."

"It's not anything like that, so just stop saying that shit, alright?" he was trying to remain calm. "She lied. If she was pregnant, I'm sure I would have been able to tell."

She didn't know what had came over her, but she shook her head and walked into the living room, leaving him there in utter desperation. And of course, he had no choice but to follow in behind her.

"I'm really trying my best not to argue with you. 'Cause believe it or not, I really fucking hate it when we argue, especially over this kind of shit. How about when I get back, we just talk about everything rationally. Let's act like we're adults for just one fucking time, Kagome. We grew up years ago and we still argue like fucking three-year-olds."

"_If _you come back," she muttered.

It wasn't until then that he realized all the damage he'd done to her.

He left without another word. He'd make up for lost time and hurt feelings one way or another, he swore he would. He just wanted her back.

**XXXXX**

_On the long list of things she hated about herself at the moment, her hair definitely took the top place._

_She wanted to cry in frustration as a 17 year old Inuyasha began to laugh so hard he fell back onto her bed, making it shake with the laughter that came from his chest. He clutched his stomach and rolled over, trying to cover the sound with her pillow. She narrowed her eyes. It wasn't working._

"_I hope you piss all over yourself," a 15 year old—almost 16 in two days—Kagome said, stomping her foot as her eyes caught onto his in her mirror._

"_That'll mean that I have to piss all over your bed. Be careful what you wish for, Kags," Inuyasha said, snorting a bit. He relaxed, folding his hands behind his head and leaning back comfortably against her bed. "I don't even see why you're dressing all up. It's just some stupid winter formal. You don't even have a date."_

"_Actually, I do," Kagome said with a little smile on her face. It was turning out to be a good day. Her and Inuyasha hadn't been arguing at all today, thank god. She hated arguing with him. He was her life line, her best friend, the love of her life, and her headache. All the things he shouldn't have been, excluding the best friend part. Maybe…just maybe._

_He sat up and growled, and she rolled her eyes. Too bad she had thought things would go fine between them. Now that she'd let it slip, he'd be giving her hell about it. "Kouga, right? Seriously, Kags? What the fuck. You do know that he's just a piece of—"_

_Kagome interrupted him. "Kouga-kun is sweet."_

"_He just wants in your pants, you know that, right?" Inuyasha asked, folding his arms over his chest and his face completely emotionless. But his eyes were cold now, and all the good vibes had been replaced with uneasiness and anger on her part._

_It wasn't like he wasn't fucking Kikyo. They fucked all the time. Matter of fact, he had even gotten her cousin to skip out on winter formal because he wanted to take her out somewhere. Yeah right, he wanted to take her into the parking lot in his brand-spankin'-new car that his parents had brought for him a year ago and fuck her right in there. Or maybe he'd take her out to some fancy dinner and then they'd go to some stupid little shabby hotel like the rest of the kids planned to do that night and fuck her then._

_The best way to get over her best friend, Inuyasha Takahashi, was to get under someone else._

_Her and Kouga had planned it all out. She never pictured Kouga taking her virginity, but not everyone got their happy ending and Kagome had realized long ago that she'd _never _get hers. Kouga was sweet. He wasn't demanding, and he was currently her first actual boyfriend. Not like they had been dating for long—just a few weeks, actually—but he told her that he wanted to be her first. And they had gotten pretty far already. She'd had her hand down his pants a couple of times before and he'd had his down hers, too, making her moan and whisper his name gently in his ear. He had given her a few hickeys that she'd had to hide from Inuyasha before, and she kind of trusted him. He always brought her home on time and never forced her into anything she didn't want to do, but then she had began to realize she was the one who had started all the sexual tension between them._

_No, of course she didn't love Kouga. But Inuyasha had been in her heart for way too long and she was tired of feeling the way she felt when she was thirteen years old, feeling her heart being ripped out of her chest, thrown against the floor and stomped on for the first time ever._

_So she ignored Inuyasha and opted for curling her hair instead, and she was uneasy with his eyes on her the whole time. She knew he was angry, she could feel his furious stare burning holes into her back._

_And goddamnit, it hurt._

_What happened to the Inuyasha that never chose Kikyo over her? What happened to the Inuyasha who respected her, the one who didn't make her feel like everything was all her fault? The one who never even thought of screwing her over and choosing a stupid girl over his best friend?_

_She wanted to get over him more than anything, and sex was the answer to that._

_She finished her hair, finished applying mascara and a little bit of eyeliner, she put her jewelry on, and then she turned to look at her best friend—who by the way didn't feel like a best friend anymore—and gave him a shy, timid smile._

_Her gown was silky, completely backless. It was black and maybe it showed a bit too much of skin and cleavage, but she was sure Kouga would have liked it. And maybe, just maybe Inuyasha would look at her the way he always looked at Kikyo, with that crazy fire burning deep inside his eyes. She wanted them to light up the way they did when he seen Kikyo. She wanted to look gorgeous to him. For once, she didn't want to feel so invisible._

"_How do I look, Inuyasha?" she asked shyly, a timid smile on her face as she looked to him for approval._

_He studied her for a long time, eyes scanning up and down her body. You see, Kagome made things hard for him. You weren't allowed to be attracted to your best friend, especially when you were fucking her big cousin. But seeing her like this, just for Kouga, made him want to trash her room in fury and utmost outrage._

_And then, it came to him._

"_You're fucking him tonight, aren't you?" he asked, his voice low as he observed her._

"_Inuyasha, no—" she started, only to be cut off by him. He stood to his feet, a growl resonating from deep within his chest._

_He smelled her lies seeping deep into her skin, saw her shame by the way her cheeks turned red, and he could sense how she was feeling. "You look like you should put some fucking clothes on before wolf-boy cums in his pants."_

_She frowned, her eyes narrowing. "I just wanted to look nice."_

_He growled again, stepping closer to her until she was completely cornered, his arms on both sides of her destroying her chances of escaping him. "You're gonna fuck him. You think you can lie to me, Kagome? I'm not that stupid. You know what? Your whole reputation will be destroyed and he'll spill everything to the whole school and sit there all day and talk about how he fucked you. And I hope you feel horrible."_

"_Inuyasha, stop. Back the fuck off," she muttered, getting angrier by the second. One single tear slipped down her cheek and then more followed behind that one._

_At the sight of her crying, he softened a bit. "I can't believe you."_

_She pushed him away roughly, screaming at him now. "So! I'm not a baby anymore! I'm a big girl and if I want to fuck Kouga, then I'll do it and have a good time while I'm at it. What are you, my dad now, Inuyasha? You're not shit! You fuck Kikyo all the time. You're always fucking her! I've seen you two before!" she was really crying now, mascara running down her cheeks. "She's all you care about. But what about me?"_

_He looked at her incredulously, wiping her tears away and cursing before he pulled her into his arms. "What in the hell are you talking about, Kagome? What do you mean?"_

_She pushed him away from her, wiping under her eyes. "Nothing. Not a damn thing." _

_He pulled her close to him again. "I'm sorry. I made you cry. You looked really pretty, too," she smiled a little as she relaxed into his chest. "I wanted to tell you that before Kouga did."_

_He could have her about to kill him one second and the next she was melting in to him._

"_Don't do it, okay? Promise me you won't," he muttered in her ear, his warm breath against her sensitive skin beginning to send shivers down her back. She opened her eyes lazily, surprised at his words. "Promise me, Kagome."_

_She shook her head and backed away from him, coming out of her trance now. "I'm gonna do what I wanna do."_

_As she walked away and out the door when she heard that damn stupid doorbell ring, signaling Kouga's arrival, he was the one who wanted to say, "But what about me?"_

**XXXXX**

He'd already texted her and told her to meet up with him, but the problem was that he just didn't know what to say. What _could _he say?

So when she strode towards him, heels clicking against the pavement, he realized that he had always loved her, just not the way he loved her cousin. Because they had never been close, and they had thought they needed each other more than they loved each other. And yes, he did still love Kikyo, with her long, gorgeous hair, stylish choice of clothes, thousand dollar handbags and Chanel perfume. He'd always loved her, even though she was like the moon. He couldn't touch her or really feel her in his arms.

He held the door open for her, and she gave him a small, sad smile. But otherwise, she looked as if yesterday had never happened. She looked as if she'd never put him through hell, looked as if she had forgotten the fact that Kagome had blurted out she'd had an abortion. Would it be wrong to say she murdered his child? Was he supposed to look at it like that or not? He suddenly felt uneasy and sick to his stomach.

How else should he feel?

He took a deep breath and sat down in front of her, taking a drink of his coffee. Yeah, he needed coffee or he might just have passed out. He never figured that talking to her would be this hard. They'd had their awkward moments of silence back when they were really a couple, and there was hardly any affection between them. Maybe things were supposed to end like this.

"So…" he started, eyes going anywhere but on hers. "We need to talk."

She nodded slowly, eyes on his face, vowing him to look up at her and almost wishing he would. She'd gotten tea instead. "I'm giving up on you."

His head shot up. He hardly felt hurt by what she said, or maybe he was just numb, because it felt as if she'd given up on him a long time ago. "You—you're giving up on _me_?"

She nodded again, looking into his eyes now. For the first time, he saw pain in them. "I was selfish. I said I loved you before so many times when I felt like I was saying nothing at all," she leaned forward a little, "and it's not supposed to be like that, is it? Therefore, I'm giving up on you."

"You gave up on me a long time ago," he muttered.

"Maybe I did," she said, her voice shaking a little. "I never deserved you. Kagome does. And I was wrong for that. I was in love with the idea of you, Inuyasha. I was in love with the idea of you being _normal_, and you didn't deserve that. And Kagome…Kagome's always seen you perfect as the way you are. I loved you in a way, to a certain extent. Words can't say how sorry I am. I'm as sorry as I've ever been in my life. And you know me, I never think that I have anything to be sorry about. It's been bothering me for a long time."

His jaw clenched a bit. He could've had Kagome as his a long time. He could have just came to term with his feelings and told her how much she really meant to him and how much he needed her. He didn't have to leave for America because he felt like his feelings were about to boil over, or because he felt like he would explode if he was around her any longer. He could've really _loved _her. He didn't have to just feel it, he could have done something about it and told her and pulled her close and kissed her. He couldn't remember a time where he didn't want to kiss Kagome back then, even when they grew apart, even when they argue, even when she cried. But no, he had wasted six years on a woman who didn't even love him while he had one that did.

Shame and guilt washed over him, and he wanted to go back to her, tell her just how much he had missed her, tell her that he really did love her.

"Why'd you do it?" he whispered. "Why'd you lead me on all these years?"

"I wasn't leading you on," she said, her voice a bit snappier. "I loved you, and I still love you. But I realized that I've always wanted you to be someone that just…that just wasn't you. And that's wrong, don't you think? Don't be fooled idiot, I love you more than I'll ever dare tell you. So that's why your happiness comes first to me now. You were never happy with me. You were happiest when you were with Kagome. You loved her all these years, and I just…"

She buried her face into her hands and she began to cry. Now, if there was one woman that he'd never been good at comforting, it was Kikyo. He couldn't pull her into his arms and make her feel like everything was alright, 'cause she'd just push him away and tell him that she was fine, and he knew that when she did that, she wasn't being strong. Kagome was strong, always was.

Why did everyone know that he loved Kagome besides him back then? Why couldn't anyone have told him? "How did you know I loved her?"

She looked up at him and laughed, her face wet with tears and her makeup close to being ruined. She was a mess. "I knew even when we first started talking. You remember you used to talk about her all the time? My best friend did this, my best friend did that. Kagome did this, Kagome did that. You've been looking at her the way I wanted you to look at me since you two were young. And I knew you loved her, and I knew her heart would be broken if she ever lost you. And the thing is, I was such a bad person that I let it happen. No, I _wanted _it to happen, and look where it got me."

She was crying again. "Can you…can you tell her how sorry I am? Or maybe I should tell her. It would probably mean more to her. I need to say it to her face. I need to ask for forgiveness and then I need to pray. I need to pray that I'll stop being such a bad person, and maybe if I'm lucky enough, somebody will really love me. Not just for looks or attention or popularity, but I want somebody to really love me, and you never really did."

He couldn't say much. But then, he started up. "Kagome…she's a forgiving person. I mean, look at all I put her through. I know she'll forgive you. Because you know what? She's got a heart of gold even though she doesn't like showing it. She'd never intentionally hurt anybody."

"I know, I know," Kikyo wiped her tears and looked up at him. "You've always talked about her like she put the stars in the sky."

He smiled a little. "Maybe she did," another tear fell and he reached his hand across the round table to wipe it, raising her chin so she could look at him. "Forgiving people is hard," he said to her, "I think Kagome taught me that. She's showing me that. But I realized that she's trying. And finding forgiveness in this world is one of the best things you can do. So I forgive you. I forgive you for wanting me to be someone else and not really loving me for who I am. I couldn't change even if I tried. I forgive you for the abortion. Wish you'd told me about it, but that's strength, finding courage to forgive somebody. I forgive you for pushing me away. There's a lot of things you need forgiveness for when it comes to me, but I forgive you."

"You think Kagome will, too?" she looked at him, eyes blurry from her tears but a smile still on her face.

He nodded, eyes still on hers.

A few more tears slipped from her eyes. "Thank you. _Thank you_."

He couldn't even begin to tell you all the joy he felt. And he would have never gotten to that point without the pain. So as they stood and said there goodbyes, they let each other go. They broke their ties, and he knew they would remain friends. Not close friends, but they had finally found it in their hearts to _let go_.

Where there was pain, there was joy, too.

**A/N: Damnit, so I really want to write more but this is 11 pages going on 12. All of these chapters have been so damn long lately. **

**You guys are getting a fast update due to all the reviews :D And plus, for some reason, I'm just so into writing this story that it's all I wanna do before I go to bed or when I get home from a long day of stupid school. But oh my gosh, I can't thank you guys enough for all the reviews. Keep 'em coming and I promise ya the next chapter will be up quicker than you can blink your eyes. Okay, maybe not, but it'll be super fast. Hope you guys are liking everything so far.**

**And remember, reviews are **_**greatly **_**appreciated. When I get them, I just get all happy and stuff…you know. But REVIEW! And thanks again for all the reviews on the last chapter. Hmm, ideas on what you guys would like to see next would be pretty amazing too. Ha, but I've got school tomorrow and it's 12:30 in the morning, ya'll. I'd really like to wake up to reviews, they just make my day really good all throughout school and it inspires me to get the next chapter done even faster.**

**So, until next time. Thanks everyone!**


	14. Love Is Too Special

She was trying to sleep, but she just couldn't. Her thoughts were eating her alive, drowning her. She didn't get it. She didn't understand a damn thing about the little predicament she was in.

He was out somewhere with Kikyo. Probably kissing her, or touching her, or begging for her back, or most likely fucking her. And she just didn't get it. How could he do that when she didn't even understand him? When she didn't accept him for who he was and most likely never would? When she wouldn't even want to have his children? When she was ashamed of being seen with him?

It hurt, you know. All the times that her cousin had hurt him had ended up hurting her, too, and she was _always _there to hear him complain and cry to her about it. She was always there to listen to him after almost every break up they'd had, which was always often. The first time they broke up, she got excited, getting courage to tell her best friend how she felt about him. And then they'd gotten back together and her hopes were crushed. They broke up many times after that, and she always had faith and courage. But pretty soon, that faith and courage became nothing.

Had he ever realized how much she was hurting? Would he have even cared?

So here she was crying. It was going on 12 in the morning and she knew she would be up all night with nonstop crying, but she guessed it was just one of those nights. It was like the time when she'd found out he'd left and thought he would be gone for good. She stayed up all night staring at the ceiling, lip quivering and her cries so loud they turned to screams that could drown the Holy Ghost in the blood of Jesus. Yeah, it was that bad.

And she didn't want that anymore. Hadn't she at least _showed _him that she loved him a million times before? But wasn't love too great to be kept a secret? Maybe that was why she was sad. But she certainly had no intentions of telling him anytime soon. Yeah, like it would do her any good, anyway.

So she tossed and turned, kicked her blankets off and put them back on. And then she finally stood and paced around her bedroom. She wanted to drink like a fish but she'd gulped down all the bottles she had. So she fell to the floor.

Nobody was coming to save her this time.

**XXXXX**

"_Hey, Kikyo…are you sure that you're okay in there? I need to pee." Kagome said in half concern and half irritation as she knocked impatiently on her bathroom door. _

_She swore she heard sobs coming from inside of the bathroom. "Yeah, I'm fine. Fuck off, please? I'm busy."_

_It always hurt when Kikyo said things like that to her. She was 17 now, with no motivation and no thoughts of tomorrow. She'd been patiently waiting for the day she turned 17. She had already decided what she was going to do, and then 17 snuck up on her like a thief in the night. She had been waiting for someday. And now someday was today, and soon, today would be yesterday. This was her whole life, wasn't a damn thing she could do about it._

"_I-I'm sorry. Are you sick? I could run to the store, pick you up something if you're not feeling well," Kagome said in almost a whisper, almost scared to hear her older cousin's response._

_She heard a sniffle. "Can you come in here, yeah? I need you for a minute."_

_Nope, she didn't want to go in there. No telling what Kikyo was doing. She was probably crying because she had gotten the clap or something from her stupid boyfriend, from the stupid boy who'd broken both their hearts so many times. Or maybe she was crying over their most recent break up. Kagome didn't want to sit there and listen, not this time._

"_What do you need, Kikyo?" she sighed before taking a deep breath. "I told you I could run to the store if you're—"_

"_No!" Kikyo snapped, and Kagome realized she was in a bitch mood. She'd been like that a lot lately. "I need you in here pronto. I need your help."_

_Kagome rolled her eyes before slowly twisting the doorknob and taking a step in. Kikyo had spilled so many tears that she could almost taste it in her mouth as soon as she stepped in. And there Kikyo was on the floor, tears streaming down her cheeks and something in her hand that she hadn't really paid any mind to. She was in a trance, almost unable to believe that her gorgeous cousin looked so much like a…like a fucking _mess_ right now._

"_Did you guys break up again? I swear, you two need ther—" Kagome was cut off by her cousin once more._

"_Shut up," Kikyo said, eyes snapping up to meet Kagome's. "I'm pregnant."_

_That sure shut her up, alright. Those were the only words echoing through her head at the moment. She gasped, felt almost all the breath leave her body. She closed her eyes, felt that feeling she felt when she was 13. And then she opened them, hoping this was all a dream. But no, it wasn't._

_Kikyo was still crumpled down on the floor, mascara running down her wet cheeks, the blackness of it against her white, pale skin making her stand out, making her look absolutely sick. She buried her face into her hands and cried again. But it wasn't the first time she'd seen Kikyo cry._

"_You…you're _pregnant_? Inuyasha?" Kagome asked stupidly, her eyes wide as saucers._

_Kikyo stood, shoved the pregnancy test into Kagome's shaking hands. "Inuyasha's," Kikyo confirmed, almost ashamed. Kagome never told anyone that her cousin kind of had a habit of sleeping around. She didn't even tell anyone that she had a habit of getting high, fucking, and shoving a finger down her throat to keep her cute, or not eating for three or four days so she could be _'lovely',_ as she once had said._

_Kagome snatched up the box the pregnancy test came in, holding in her other hand the actual test. Her eyes darted back and fourth from both objects, and after a while, her fears became reality and her heart sank lower than it ever had. _Inuyasha. _Her used to be, once upon a long time ago in a land very, very far away from here Inuyasha. The love of her life Inuyasha. _

_She did all she could think to do and pulled Kikyo into her arms, resisting the urge to sink to the floor like her cousin had earlier. "What are you gonna do?" she whispered softly in her older cousin's hair. "I mean, you're old enough to have a baby. You're nineteen now. I think you should keep it."_

_It broke her heart but she said it anyway. Kikyo pushed her younger cousin away, snapping her head up so she could look at her incredulously. "And I think you're fucking crazy. Inuyasha just turned eighteen. He's not ready for a child and I'm not either. Did I forget to tell you we broke up again?"_

_Kagome rolled her eyes. "So what? You two always get back together. _Always. _You two stick it out. So why not keep the baby?"_

_Kikyo could've slapped her. "Don't act like you want me to go through with this. You don't want me to. I can see disappointment all over your face. Why?"_

_This was a surprise to her. Kikyo smirked as if she already knew the answer. Kagome looked down, a blush staining her cheeks. "W-what do you mean?" She muttered, stuttering all the while and her heart racing._

_Kikyo laughed almost cruelly, face still wet with tears. "Don't ask me why, Kags. You know what I mean."_

_She didn't really want to argue with her, so she let it pass. After a few minutes of silence, Kikyo spoke up. "I don't want to be the mother of a half-breed. Only god knows why I stuck around with Inuyasha for so long."_

_Kagome shook her head, surprised once more, even though she'd always known that her cousin didn't really accept his existence. But she loved him anyway, didn't she? "I'm sorry." She muttered lamely._

_Kikyo laughed again. "No, you're not," she said firmly. "You don't think I know, do you? I'll just let you keep thinking that, don't wanna break your spirits even more than they already are," she told Kagome. "And before you ask, yes, I love Inuyasha more than life itself. Just don't know if I wanna spend the rest of my life with him, completely bound to him forever because of some stupid mistake, because of some abomination. I trust you, Kagome. I'm trusting you not to tell anyone."_

_Her heart sped and she felt like crying in that moment, too. Kikyo looked at her and sneered. "Stop trying to act so damn innocent. You're making me feel guilty. Besides, you can't act like that, anyway. How many guys have you slept with now, or are you just fucking Kouga? Or maybe Hojo? Or maybe you fuck them both."_

_Shame crept over her and covered her like a blanket, and she looked at her older cousin, her eyes hard and hurt, too many kinds of different emotions swirling around in her chocolate eyes. Kikyo laughed and spoke up again. "You wanna skip school tomorrow?"_

"_Why?" Kagome asked firmly, her lips pressed into a thin, tight line as she tried to control her anger._

"_To get rid of this monster, of course. I'll be doing the world a favor, won't I? Half-breeds always have and always will be an abomination. Even Inuyasha. But I stick with him anyway, 'cause I love him. I just can't love this child. I can't do it. I'll need someone there with me," Kikyo said almost sadly. "I don't want to have a child I won't be able to love."_

_Kagome felt sick to her stomach._

**XXXXX**

He knew she was going to be pissed as soon as he knocked on the door, so he paused for a few minutes. He had told her he'd come back. Maybe a little later than expected, but apologizing to her mother, to her little brother, and then going to talk to Miroku a bit for advice had took up a lot of time.

He knew she wasn't in bed by now. Kagome never went to sleep early unless she was passed out drunk.

An argument would be coming soon, he could feel it. But he mustered up courage anyway and finally knocked, taking a deep breath. When she opened the door, he was greeted by familiar pained, chocolate eyes, and all his courage diminished and he immediately wanted to tell her _sorry_, tell her that what she was thinking wasn't what happened at _all_.

"I didn't sleep with her," he blurted out, his eyes pleading with hers. He just needed someone to believe in him, and Kagome always had despite the circumstances. "We talked. That's all. If you wanna know, I'm more than willing to tell you everything that happened."

Kagome stepped aside and let him in, even though her eyes could barely stay locked on his. She shut the door behind her, wrapping her arms around herself and casually leaning against the closed door. It was raining, and when she took him in, she realized that he was probably cold and needed a change of clothes.

"You need to be in dry clothes. You're probably freezing to death," right after she said this, he sneezed and sniffled his nose a little. She smiled. "You always told me you never get sick. Guess you lied. I'll be back."

The way she talked and how calm she seemed scared him a bit, but he watched her walk away hastily into her bedroom, and when she returned, she had a pair of baggy jeans and a wrinkled dress shirt. But the clothes were dry and clean, so he took them from her.

"Those were my dad's," she said with a little smile, her eyes met his and her hand brushing against his, too. Even though the room was cold, her touch had warmed him, igniting something deep in his veins just as it always had. "You can change in the bathroom. I'm sorry it's so cold in here. You probably should go home after that. The power's gonna go out soon. It's lightening and thundering."

He nodded, but he knew that she knew that he wasn't going _anywhere _tonight.

When he finished dressing, throwing his wet clothes in the hamper, she was in the living room with the heater in front of her, watching some scary movie on television. Sensing him, she turned around and said, "We should really talk, Inuyasha."

He felt as if he was in some sort of trance as he took a seat beside of her, so close but still feeling so far away. She was quiet for a minute, glancing at him out of the corner of her eyes. He could tell she'd been crying earlier. Her whole apartment smelled of tears, so he was worried.

"I let her go." He said quietly, almost in a whisper.

She turned to look at him. "What did you just say?"

"I let her go," he said with a shrug. "We never really loved each other more than we loved ourselves. I mean, she was great and all and I'll always remember her, but I let her go. It was the best thing to do and it was the right thing to do. We were always bad for each other. Always cheating on each other, screaming at each other, fucking like it meant nothing. Too many lies, too much betrayal. I loved her so bad it hurt, but I let her go. That's what adults do. You let the people that you love go no matter how much it hurts, and I know the saying goes if you let something go and it comes back to you it's yours, but I don't want her to be mine. I…I want someone else, someone I've wanted forever. I kinda thought me and her deserved each other, you know? 'Cause we're both so full of shit, we're both stubborn, we're liars, and we take pleasure in hurting each other. You don't know destructive until you've seen all me and Kikyo have been through. I'm done."

"You don't mean that," Kagome said, a frown on her face as she turned the television down. She wanted to hear every word he had to say, and she knew she shouldn't have wanted that, she knew she shouldn't have even let him in the door, but that thought kept popping up into her head. _Love is too special to be kept to oneself._ "You two always pull together through it. You _always_ get back together."

"_But I don't want her to be mine. I…I want someone else, someone I've wanted forever."_

Pain was such a brutal thing. All you wanted to do was be left alone, be happy with your own self, but it was right there in your face, demanding you to acknowledge it and give it all your undivided attention.

"But I don't want her. We're bad for each other. And you always knew that. You always knew it, Kagome. And I know you tried to tell me. I'm sorry," he muttered sheepishly, scratching at the back of his head.

She shivered. "You cold?" he asked, and when she nodded he pulled her closer, surprised as she obligingly rested her head on his shoulder. Lightening thundered in the sky, the power went off and he swore he heard her heart stop for just a second as she jumped a little. "It's alright. Just another stupid fuckin' storm."

_Love is too special to be kept to oneself._

Her body was warming up now, and she leaned in closer to him. He may have been a jerk, but he sure did smell nice and he sure was warm. Jerks were supposed to be cold and stinky. Inuyasha was none of those things, and maybe he really wasn't such a jerk after all.

"Hey, Inuyasha?" she muttered quietly, the thundering so loud that she felt like it was ripping through her chest. She winced.

"Hmm?"

"I don't wanna argue anymore. Can we just…can we _really _talk about things? And settle this for good?" She asked quietly like she had before.

"Talk away, Kagome," he said, pulling her closer by her waist. She blushed, happy for once that the power had went off.

"You're not gonna hate me?" she asked fearfully.

He buried his nose into her neck. "Tried to hate you so many times, look where we are now. I don't think that's ever gonna happen, so talk to me and tell me all I've been dying to hear. 'Cause fuck, I missed out on everything. Where was I when you grew up like this?"

The answer to his question was obvious, so she rolled her eyes and decided not to pay any attention to it. The feeling of his nose buried into her neck and inhaling lazily at her scent made her feel relaxed. She'd never felt this relaxed before. "You broke my heart when you left. I really thought I hated you. You were still my best friend, even though we'd been arguing for a while. And you and Kikyo were gone the day after we got into that huge argument. You didn't even tell me goodbye or where you were going. I had to hear it from Sango and fall to my knees on the bathroom floor, balling like a big baby, all because you left and I didn't know where you were and if you ever were coming back."

He pulled away, staring incredulously into her eyes. He could see them even in the dark. "You think I didn't tell you goodbye just 'cause of that stupid argument? Silly girl. I didn't wanna hurt you even more than I already had. I thought that I'd might as well leave anyway. Didn't think you'd care. And I'm sorry for that."

"And then, all these years when you were about to maim Kouga and Hojo and all the others. You were happy with your girlfriend, so why didn't you think I deserved to be happy, too?" Kagome asked him almost accusingly, and this did it for him.

He growled and pulled away from her. "Why'd you have to bring it up again, Kagome?"

"'Cause, it's not _fair_!"

He nodded firmly. It wasn't fair. "I couldn't stand to see you with any of those pricks. Couldn't even stand you looking at another man. Don't ask me why. And then you and Kouga happened. Then you and Hojo. Then Bankotsu. Then a lot more. Maybe you didn't sleep with all the others, but you led them on, broke their hearts. I lost faith and respect in you, and I know I had no right to feel betrayed. 'Cause you were never mines, were you? So I left. You seemed happy anyway, with all those little boyfriends of yours. You were _never _mine."

Kagome stood then, fire in her eyes. She almost wanted to pull all of her pretty hair out and scream at him, but she knew that that would never get them anywhere but back to where they first started. So she paced around, closed her eyes and took deep breaths before she opened her eyes and spoke to him in a calm matter. "I wanted to find someone who made me feel like my heart was never broken in the first place," she said placidly. _Love is too special to be kept to oneself. _"I was always yours. From the first moment I met you."

He stood and strode towards her, his eyes so intense that they scared her. He took her face into his hands. "Don't get mad, okay? But I think I've always wanted you to be mine, and I didn't know what to do about that. So I left, alright?"

The first tear fell. "But I _loved _you. And you _knew _that! You made fun of me for that, prancing around with Kikyo clinging to your arm like she was some sort of trophy, something that would never be as good as _me! _But who never wanted you to be someone that you weren't? Who listened to you complain about your so-called girlfriend? Who took all the teasing and mind games, Inuyasha? And you have the nerve to stand here and act like I shouldn't be mad about _anything _and like—"

She was cut off as soon as his lips touched hers. She froze. His hands were cupping her tear-stained face gently, while her hands didn't know where to go or what to do. She was so stupid, she _knew_ that as soon as her hands decided to tangle in his silky, silver hair, moving to caress his ears and finally wrap around his neck, pressing her body tight against his. Her chest tight against his chest. Her hands clinging to his neck as if she would fall if they were anywhere else.

No, it wasn't right. But it was what she needed.

She remembered her first time with Kouga.

**XXXXX**

_It was like the fact that she was crying out in pain didn't phase him at all, it was like he was becoming a completely different person. Tears stung at her eyes as the bed shook with force, and she cried for him to slow down, but he kissed her neck and he didn't say a word._

_How could he do this like it was so natural? Like it wasn't life changing? Like it meant nothing? Here she was freaking out over her first time, hating herself because she didn't love him. Here she was, feeling as if she was wrestling with a demon. And he was a demon, but not that kind of demon, but the kind that was in your veins, all in your body and injected into your skin. Like the kind of demons that were tucked away deep down inside of your soul. Like the demon that you never wanted to come out of it's hiding place._

_The headboard began to bang harder against the wall. This stupid hotel room, and this stupid dirty hotel bed. He'd ripped her pretty prom dress to shreds, and she knew she'd never forget the look on his face as soon as she was completely naked and uncomfortable in front of him. It had scared her._

_She cried hard, almost choking on her tears. She felt like he was ripping her apart just as he'd done her dress. She felt like she was completely in shreds as she lay there with her arms drawn tightly around his neck. Sex hurt. Who knew it would hurt this bad? Who knew you'd have to trust the person completely when you did it?_

"_Shut up," he snapped, his lips hovering above hers. "It gets better. Just calm down, 'Gome."_

_She shook her head, eyes clenched together in pain as he seemed to speed up even more. She let out another moan of pain as he slammed right back into her, sure that he was going to break the bed if he didn't slow down. "It hurts, Kouga."_

_He laughed. She couldn't believe it. He actually _laughed. _She tried to push him away, her legs numb and hurting from being wrapped around him and up in the air. "You wanted this, right?"_

_Her eyes were stinging again. He groaned, pumping in and out of her faster and she nearly screamed from pain. She wasn't ready for this. Would Inuyasha have been this rough? This rude? But she _had _wanted this, so she decided to be a big girl. But it hurt so bad she ended up crying again._

_He growled, the sound echoing through the room and almost scaring her. "I'm tired of looking at you when you're crying. Aren't you big bad Higurashi? Nothing hurts you," he pushed off of her. "Turn around. Get on your knees. Maybe it'll feel better that way." _

_She did as he commanded, scared of what would happen if she didn't. He entered her from behind, and she immediately fell face down, clenching the sheets and closing her eyes once again in pain._

_He kept going at it, his hand reaching around to play with her clit. She let out a delighted sigh, thankful that it was starting to feel at least a bit better. And then he started pounding in and out of her again, and she cried out in pain once more._

"_I'm sorry, 'Gome," he panted in her ear. "It gets better."_

_But it never did, and when it was over, she was shaking and in tears. He was pulling on his clothes, and he spared a glance over at her and frowned, sitting down in front of her. "I'm sorry," he said again, sincerely, kissing her cheekbone and caressing her face. "I'm sorry."_

_She looked at him and simply nodded, shoulders still shaking and eyes still crying rivers. Pain throbbed between her legs, and shame did, too. She was so _ashamed_. She'd never been more ashamed than she was right now. Not even when she made that F in math class, or when her mom told her that her father died, or even arguing with Inuyasha tonight. She spotted a blood stain on the bed, and she wanted to bury her face into her hands and cry as hard as she could._

"_They'll clean it up." He told her with a smile, trying to make her feel better. But it didn't seem to be helping so he pulled her into his arms and rocked her._

"_I'm sorry, Kagome. I'm so sorry."_

**XXXXX**

He stopped kissing her as soon as he smelt fresh tears. He pulled away, eyes dazed. He was sort of annoyed, to be honest. He had a half-naked, goddess looking Kagome laying on her bed underneath him, finally letting him get a taste of what he'd been missing for far too long, and she was crying when she told him she'd wanted this.

He sighed, kissing her neck before saying. "I'm not using you. If you want this, I want it, too. And you know I can't stand to see you crying," he said, kissing her again before letting his lips slip from hers. He loved the taste of her. It was something that he could finally admit he was addicted to. He cupped her face. "Look at me and tell me you don't want this, and we won't have to do it. I'll stop, but that doesn't mean I'll leave you."

She laughed almost sadly, the sound music to his ears. His favorite song. She pulled him close again, pressed her lips softly to hers. "It's not that, Yasha…"

He nodded in understand, waiting for her to continue, kissing her lips again.

"Nobody's ever showed me how to make love," she said timidly, her face burning red. "My first time was the worst. All I know how to do is fuck. Nobody's _ever _showed me anything else," he was quiet, disappointment and guilt racking through his body. He pulled away from her and sat up but she pulled him back down on top of her, eyes looking into his intensely. "Will you show me how to make love?"

She said it so boldly like she was sure he'd be an expert at it. But honestly, he didn't even know if he knew how to make love, either. With Kikyo and the few others, it was just fucking. That was all he knew, too.

Fearing his silence, she spoke again. "I'm…I'm sorry. That was a stupid thing to say. Maybe we should just stop."

He shook his head, kissing her gently again and making butterflies swarm in her stomach. "We can show each other."

Her stomach had never dropped like that. _Ever_.

"But you make love to Kikyo. You've always made love to her." Kagome said, confusion and envy in her bright eyes.

He kissed her. "Can't make love to someone when you know you're in love with somebody else. So like I said, let's show each other. Let's make you forget all about Kouga and your horrible first time. Let's make each other never wanna just _fuck _again."

She giggled, her hand meeting his face in a gentle caress before she pulled him down to kiss him again. Maybe, just maybe he really _did _love her. And maybe just tonight was okay.

She sucked softly at his bottom lip, and when he moaned into her mouth, she smiled in victory, if that's what you want to call it. Her hands gripped at his bare back, and then she felt him reach behind her, trying to unclasp her bra instead of tearing it to shreds. She giggled when she realized he was struggling, so she pushed him away and sat up, unclasping it herself.

Even after all the crying she'd been doing lately, she was still so beautiful, red, puffy eyes, swollen lips and all. Her hair was like a birds nest at the moment, but it made her look wild underneath him. Of course he wanted to make love to her. She was the only one he could fathom making love too, despite all their mistakes and all the years of confusion and betrayal they felt, _she was the only one_.

He couldn't imagine getting this deep, this naked with someone else. Who else better than his best friend? The one that truly loved him, the one that stuck with him even when he made it difficult to?

He'd had sex with her so many times before that he'd lost count. So this was something new for him, something he hadn't experienced with anyone. And he _wanted _to make love to her, wanted to show her all he'd been feeling for years. But this was so new and raw and unexpected that he was scared, fearing that it wouldn't feel like love making to her, or fearing that he would somehow screw up again.

Sex was easy. You weren't completely naked. You could even have sex while you were half dressed. You could have sex with anybody, with a person whose name you didn't even know. Sex was completely uncomplicated. But making love, you were fully naked, and not just physically. You were fucking them how you feel. You were going slow and giving them as much pleasure as you were receiving. You were completely naked, completely bare. It had to mean something, while sex hardly ever meant anything.

He was really starting to see where him and Kikyo went wrong.

Her hands moved down slowly, running across his chest and his muscles jumped violently beneath his sensitive skin at how gentle the gesture had been. She ran her hands back up to his face, kissing him hard, lips immediately bruising from the contact. He moved in to action, sucking on her neck, making her hips buck harshly up into his.

"Slow down," he told her. "We can take our time."

She smiled and kissed him till he was silly again.

He slowly undressed the rest of her, took her pants off real slow just to irk her nerves and make her turn red in the face. He loved seeing her all impatient and aggravated. But she went along with it anyway, hands tightening over his back as he completely undressed her. She shivered and whimpered a little when his finger brushed along her down there, and slowly, she undressed the rest of him, too.

When they were both naked, though, neither of them quite knew what to do. So Kagome stared at his body in amazement, seeing small scars traced upon his skin that she hadn't noticed ever before. And he realized just how soft and baby smooth her skin really was, seen just a few light moles dotted over her milky skin, seen how all her hair was spread wildly underneath her, seen that little mischievous and wondrous glint in her eyes, seen how swollen and red and smooth her lips really were.

So he kissed her again. It was all he could think about doing ever since he first met her, kissing her like he felt. And he did. Years of anger, sadness, betrayal, happiness, friendship, love, and possible madness were all in that kiss. And that was all she needed to be his.

"Make love to me. Now, Yasha." She told him, her voice a mere whisper in the silence of the room. Inside it was so warm, his body pressed so tight against hers, and outside it was pouring the rain. Made her feel sort of melancholic, made her feel sort of lovely. Inuyasha was making her feel plenty lovely by the way he was kissing her with such passion she didn't know the man could hold, by the way his hands were massaging her hips, her ass, her thighs.

He took a nipple into his mouth, sucking on it gently and making her hips arch to meet his once more in desperation. Was this how you were supposed to feel when you were making love? Lovely and desperate and completely naked? This was the first time she felt completely naked in front of Inuyasha. This was the first time she ever made love. This was the first time she felt like he actually cared.

His hardness was right there on her inner thigh, making her whimper and plead and moan and beg, things she'd never been accustomed to. She gripped his shoulders when he kissed her inner thigh, making her whole figure shake with need. He was slow and he was teasing, licking up and down slowly, languidly, on the inside of her thigh.

And then he got serious and she swore she heard him panting as he ran his tongue between her folds, up and down her clit. And she couldn't help the fact that she ended up nearly riding his face, but he didn't seem to have a problem with it. She sat up, head tossed back in pleasure and he took a hold of her ass with both of his hands, tongue delving deeper into her hot, wet flesh, and before she could even count to ten or open her eyes or even let out a scream so loud God and all the angel's and Satan and all the demon's would have heard it, she came hard, shaking from the intensity of her orgasm.

It was like she hadn't even seen it coming. That's how quick it came. He was good. He'd always been good, but she decided to use a different word. He was _incredible_.

Inuyasha licked his lips, staring at her shaking figure and decided to give her time to calm down. He ran his hands through her midnight hair, nearly drenched in sweat, and kissed her forehead, rubbing her back.

She leaned up, her eyes hooded and dark and hazy. Her chest was moving rapidly, perky round breasts moving, too, as she struggled to catch her breath. He licked at her neck languidly, placing little bites and nips on her smooth skin that made the aftermath of an intense orgasm a million times better. She ran her hand through his hair, moaning and leaning her head back on the pillow a little to give him more access to her sensitive skin.

She felt his hand between her legs, just hovering above her throbbing clit, and she let out a raspy moan. She was getting worked up all over again, she felt it and she wanted it more than anything. So she ran her hands through silky hair as she let him do whatever he wanted with her body.

She ground her hips up against his once more. "You know what I want," she said, her voice a little quiet. His cock was twitching at the sound of it and he growled, pulling her hair and nipping at her neck again, making her cry out and making her hips buck up once more to meet his. "Make love to me. Just do it. If you end up leaving again or if I wake up in the morning and you're gone…I want you to be the first one to make love to me. I want you to be the one I give myself to completely."

Looking in her eyes, he could tell that everything she was telling him at the moment was certainly true. Her eyes held so many emotions that it almost scared him. But here she was in the palm of his hands, bruised and bitten lips, broken skin, bedroom eyes and bedroom hair, and that fucking hot little body of hers.

He kissed her again, ran his hands all up her sides, all down her back, cupped her face roughly, moved his fingers along deep in her scalp until she was whimpering like a baby for him, dripping cum, inner thighs drenched. He was so hard he could've exploded just from looking at her, so he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

He remembered the day they first met, the day she told him that they were kind of like each other. And now he was realizing it was true. Both were stubborn, neither of them wanting to admit any feelings for each other. They were both particularly sad, irrevocably broken and especially in need of each other. So he looked in her eyes and seen that she wanted this just as much as she did.

He kissed her temple, positioning himself on top of her body. He didn't remember how good it felt to have her pressed so tightly and intimately around him. "You want this, right? I'm not using you," she looked up at him and smiled, her lips pressing against his gently. "I just wanna make you happy, and to be honest, I've never known how to make love. But we can try."

She giggled slightly as he moved down to kiss her belly button before moving back up to take a nipple in his mouth and suck hard on it, causing her to once again run her hands through the hair she'd always been so extremely jealous of. It was like Inuyasha's hair was completely perfect. Never got nappy or tangled, and always went right back in the right place.

Laughing, she broke away from him. "I've always been jealous of your hair."

He took the other nipple into his mouth, nipping at it and looking up at her with dark eyes. He placed a kiss between her breasts before pausing to look up at her. "It's harder than you think to manage."

Kagome took charge, and he was surprised when he found himself underneath her in seconds. He could feel her how hot and wet she was over his navel, and he groaned, too into what she was planning next to tell her that he was the one who was in charge. "Let me take care of you," she murmured softly, flicking an ear with her dainty, smooth tongue.

The sensation of her kissing his chest was a weird but pleasurable enough feeling. She adjusted herself as her lips moved across his chest, placing herself close to his hard and making him buck up in need. He'd been imagining being inside of her again for weeks.

"Sorry," she said sweetly as she heard the growl that was ripped from his chest. She ran her hands up his chest, marveling at the definition of his abs. "I'm trying to go slow…but it's just that…" she trailed off, letting out a sigh as her hands continued to trail up his chest. "You're beautiful. I never got a chance to really look at you like this."

Inuyasha did something he hardly ever did. He laughed and watched in amazement as her cheeks took on a burning red. "You're beautiful, too."

He was starting to realize that love made you say rather stupid things. And he knew for a fact he loved her, always had. It was something he didn't want to admit at the moment, though, something he'd rather keep to himself. Because what if he finally admitted it and things crashed and burned? Crashing and burning was the last thing he wanted at the moment. All he wanted was her against him. He wanted to get lost in her scent, get lost in her body and never find his way back to where he came from.

Lost in his own thoughts, he didn't even notice that her mouth had moved down to his erection. Sensing her breath right there, he groaned, gripping the sheets. He looked into her eyes, that now resembled dark chocolate, differing completely from her usual mocha brown. Her arousal was everywhere in the air, the sweet scent of it suffocating him. "You don't have to do that, Kagome." He groaned out forcefully, even though he wanted her to _so bad_.

"But I want to," she said. "I'm giving you what _I _want."

What he was going to say next got lost in a moan as she swallowed him completely, her dark eyes staring back at his, challenging him. He leaned back, gripping the sheets even tighter and instantly without his own will, his hips pulsed forward. She took more of him into her mouth, nipping and sucking and kissing the tip, blowing on it. She was driving him absolutely crazy and into oblivion and she'd hardly even started yet.

His claws were digging holes into her mattress and she went deeper and deeper, a whimper coming from her mouth and vibrating around him, making him go mad. He was thrusting his hips again, panting and mewling and grunting, his pleasure increasing ten-fold and going to extremely new heights. Then he thought about who'd taught her to do this, where she'd learned it from, and rage fueled deep within his belly.

He sighed, it only made his pleasure increase even more, the jealousy, the rage.

But he wouldn't let his big mouth ruin this moment for him, so he just imagined how he was the one who got to enjoy her now after so many years of torture, so many years of fighting and anger and ruined friendship, and then, sex without cause. But he knew he could never just have sex with her again. From now on, he wanted to make love to her, caress and feel her body from the inside out. No, he never wanted just sex from her again.

He'd been such a fool and he wanted to make up for every single moment of it. Even his mother knew he felt deeply for the girl even when they were young, just stupid kids. But he knew this was right. Kikyo never entered his mind when she was around, she made him warm when Kikyo made him cold. And he honestly, truly, madly, deeply loved her for that.

She pulled away before he had the chance to cum and laid herself out on her bed for him, beautiful in the dark as lightning flashed, highlighting every single part of her body. From the moles lightly scattered across her flawless skin to her swollen lips and red cheeks, from her messy hair to her creamy thighs. He could've melted right then and there.

"I'm ready," she said in a voice that made her seem so much smaller than she really was. Her voice was soft, loving, all he needed to hear. "Make love to me. I can't imagine a time I haven't wanted you to make love to me."

He crept upon her without another word, suckling her breasts again and placing kisses over every part of the smooth surface that was her creamy skin. She didn't make a sound, and all his ears picked up on was the unusual beating of her heart and the heavy, labored breathing that came from her chest. He kissed her then, his tongue the only muscle on his body that was working faster than his heart.

They had been so concentrated on falling apart before, and now they were here, together, making love. To be honest, he couldn't imagine a time he hadn't wanted to make love to Kagome Higurashi, either.

He entered her slowly, and instantly her legs wrapped tight around him, her body slowly moving with his and accepting him into the tight warmth that only Kagome possessed. It was Kagome, always had been Kagome.

"God," he grunted out as he moved slowly against her, her body moving up and along with his every time he pushed himself deep inside of her. Pretty soon he was buried in her as deep as could be, and her nails raked down his back as he began moving himself in and out of her slowly, and she moaned, whispering sweet nothings in his ears, making them twitch in acceptance.

He loved her so much. So fucking much, and he couldn't even begin to tell anyone of the regret he felt by not realizing it soon enough.

He was still moving inside of her, so slow and so gentle that he almost felt like he was rocking a child to sleep. Then he started to imagine what it would be like, having a child with her. He wanted to make her a mother. He wanted to make her his everything, let her know he was sorry that he hadn't made her his everything before.

Her hands tightened around his back, gripping tight at his shoulders as he continued to rock steady inside of her, his hips moving and grinding against hers. This time, going slow wasn't killing him. He put every single emotion he could fathom into his thrusts, his lips slowly parting hers. She wrapped her legs tighter around him, whimpering into his chest.

"Oh, Inuyasha," she cried, every single part of her body on fire as he delved deeper inside of her. Pretty soon her headboard was thumping against the wall, and she imagined how something could feel this good, feel this pure. Sex was supposed to be a dirty thing. But she'd never felt so simple and clean.

He kissed her over and over again, his teeth seeking into her neck deep, but not deep enough to draw blood. He let out a sweet moan and she cooed, thrusting her hips up against his, encouraging him to increase in tempo, so he did just as she wanted.

She cried out again, her head tossed back. Her neck was completely bared to him now, and he didn't hesitate to lick and nip at it once more until she was covered with his scent, his hands on her in all the right places. Next time Kouga seen her, he was sure he wouldn't even _dare _trying to rekindle whatever the fuck they'd had before him and Kagome happened. Because she was _his_, damnit, and she always would be.

Repressing the urge to cry out that she loved him was a hard thing. But she'd never seen him look at her like this, so she closed her eyes, scared of what would happen if she didn't.

He slowed. "Open your eyes, Kagome. Don't be scared," he rocked hard against her and she cried out, still refusing to look at him, terrified of what she'd say if she did. He thrust hard into her, panting in her ear, his hips rocking against hers passionately. "I'm fucking you how I feel. So open your eyes while I'm doing this, show me how you're feeling, fuck, tell me _how_ you're feeling. 'Cause I don't wanna be the only one feeling like this," he pleaded desperately. "Tell me you feel the same way right now. I never felt like this before, and I don't wanna be the only one who feels this way, Kagome. _Please._"

He'd always thought life was one big party. Kikyo used to be a trophy. His many of friends were his fun. Drinking and smoking was his specialty. His life had always been _perfectly _terrible. What would happen when all of that was over with? Well, he knew for a fact Kagome would always be there whether the party was over or not.

She finally opened her eyes, allowing him to decipher what she was feeling. Her eyes were so dark and so intense, even as the lightning struck outside again. Rain pounded against the windows, against the roof. Rain was in her eyes. She was crying but he kissed her anyway. "I love you, too," he said, courage hitting him like a train.

"Inuyasha, I—" she was about to say something and most likely make him feel like a fool. So he thrust hard in and out of her, his pants heavy in her ear and her cries getting louder every second. She wrapped around him, gripping onto him for her dear life, her hips trying to meet with his but failing miserably.

"Ah, Yasha!" She cried out desperately as she came hard, pretty stars and heaven and earth all together in the back of her eyes. He pounded deep inside of her, bed rocking and digging into the floor from his hurried movements, in two more strokes, he threw his head back, his seed feeling her up completely.

He fell against her, knocking all the air out of her and she struggled to breathe. Not just because of his heavy weight on top of her small body, but because of what they'd just done. They'd been so…so _together_, and never in her life had she felt like that with the opposite sex. She'd never felt connected in such a way that she was sure it had to be more than just love. Love was not enough of a feeling to describe what she felt for him.

He groaned, realizing that he was probably squashing her to death. So he rolled off of her, and with time, her breathing finally calmed.

He could smell salt in the air and he immediately took her in his arms. "Hold me," she whispered desperately, climbing atop of him, her body pressed extremely close to his.

He couldn't understand why she was crying and he was worried, but he kind of had an idea. She'd never felt something so intense, and he didn't say a word because he'd never felt something that intense, either. It was so intense that it had him shook up all on the inside, his stomach flipping around and his head in the clouds. He was head over heels for Higurashi, always had been and always would be.

Love was a such a strong word. But it wasn't strong enough right now.

So he was strong enough for her instead, holding her tight as her tears ran down his chest. She was scared just like he was. They'd gotten themselves into this, and he knew she was terrified of waking up without him being next to her, so he vowed to keep her forever, never leave her alone to feel that awful feeling.

"Inuyasha?" she said quietly, thunder echoing outside.

"Yeah?"

"I love you, too."

_Just because love was too special to be kept to oneself.  
><em>

**A/N: Please don't hate me…**

**I have a plan. I'm getting closer to the end, so don't hate me for this chapter. It had to happen.**

**Anyway, my baby cousin just fell asleep on me. He was begging to play on the laptop and I was desperate to finish this chapter. Got kind of stuck on it for a while. But here you guys go.**

**I'm gonna go lay him down. Thank god he's sleep.**

**Once again, please don't hate me, I have a plan.**

**Reviews, pretty please with sprinkles on top? You all might hate me for the next chapter, too, but trust me, everything's gonna be okay in the end and Inuyasha and Kagome will finally stop being so stubborn. Just a little hint for the next chapter, all that stubbornness isn't gone yet.**

**REVIEW if you want the next chapter up in a hurry. Love you all. Me and my lovebug are going to catch some Z's now. Oh, and thanks for all prior reviews. You guys are the best :D**


	15. Easier To Be Angry

When he woke up, he was sure that he was exactly where he wanted to be. He felt as if that's the place he should stay, the place where he was supposed to be this whole time, he just never knew it and now that he had knowledge of it, he was never going to leave this place.

It was starting to feel like his sanctuary.

So as soon as he woke, he knew he was going to feel the tips of her hair slightly tickling his skin, the feather touches making something spark deep within his chest. He knew he was going to be able to pull her closer, feel how perfectly she felt against him after years of avoiding it, feel how she snuggled deeper into his chest and, then, he would gaze down at the beautiful face that haunted his dreams. He'd be able to smell the scent that haunted him, also, sense her comfort, sense her happiness. He wanted to kiss her smooth shoulder sweetly, whisper sweet nothings in her ear that he knew she'd happily wake up to. He'd get to wake up to see her face, she'd get to wake up to see his.

He wanted nothing else in this world.

He wanted to wake up to see the pretty eyes that she and only she possessed, see the small grin that spread across her pretty, gleaming face that would be so bright in the morning light. He wanted to kiss that grin right off her face, make her lean into him more and kiss him like the way she always kissed him. It was so simple and clean, just like that day he first saw her, that's how it was when she kissed him. Simple and clean. All honesty pouring itself into her kiss, making him be able to detect every emotion she felt and happily accept it, kiss her back the same way. With such love and everything that was good.

But the thing was, he didn't feel her in his arms. She was in his heart, in his head, on his skin, in his skin. But she wasn't in his _arms,_ right where she ought to be, the place that was supposed to make her feel like she was in her own sanctuary, too.

He'd wanted to kiss her. Hold her. Wake up to her scent in his senses. Wake up to her back against his chest.

It was the only thing that he'd been wanting to wake up to a while, now. The only thing that had excited him about such a simple thing as waking up, really.

He grumbled and pushed his matted hair back, cursing and putting a hand over his eyes to shield them from the sun. He slowly sat up, eyes lazily looking over everything that was currently residing in the small, little bedroom, and then, realization really hit him.

The bed was cold. Her scent was beginning to fade away.

He cursed and sat up, pulling on his clothes, slightly disregarding their mingled scents as he did.

He bust out the door, calling her name but her answering back would've been in his wildest dreams right about now.

Pissed wasn't the word. No, he was beyond pissed.

**XXXXX**

Kagome awoke to the fact that his arms weren't around her and she shivered, suddenly cold. She woke up to the fact that she felt distant, confused, sad. These were the worst feelings in the world.

But wasn't it for the best? Wasn't it for her own sanity? For the fear of ending up with another broken heart like all the other times?

She made her way into the kitchen, took a seat where Sango and Miroku were waiting for her to explain her situation. Well, her situation was quite overwhelming and heartbreaking on her part, so she decided she wouldn't say anything at all.

Sango passed her a glass of orange juice and Miroku looked at her intently, ears ready to hear what was to be said.

"Care to explain what exactly happened last night?" Sango asked gently.

She'd might as well get it over with.

"I had sex with Inuyasha again..." Kagome said in almost a whisper, eyes on anything but her two best friends that she trusted with her life. Surely, they would understand, wouldn't they? They'd be there for her and help her through it like they always did. Her friends were her life.

Sango slammed a hand down on the table, a Cheshire cat grin slowly etching its way onto her face. "It's about damn time. You two were so tense, you really just needed some good sex, and now everything is perfect, right? I mean, the sexual tension was so damn thick that you could cut straight through it—"

"Sango," a confused and embarrassed Kagome interrupted quietly, "You don't get it—"

"I do," Miroku said, speaking up to interrupt her. Kagome rolled her eyes when he stood up from where he sat. "This is fucking perfect. Now you two won't be such stubborn asses, and you can finally admit your _feelings _to each other, which I must say that you've two harbored for some time now—I don't understand how the hell you two did it for _that long _without spilling—and live happily ever after, right? Now tell me, will there be any children in the future, or wedding bells ringing?"

"_Miroku_," Kagome said uneasily, a bit of edge that was razor sharp in her voice. "Shut up. No, and no. Will you two _please _just shut up and listen to me for once?"

She took a deep breath because if she didn't, she might have just exploded into bits and pieces.

"I don't want another word of that shit. So just sit back and fucking listen to why I left." Kagome seethed, immediately getting the bubbling couple's attention.

Sango looked at Miroku, a frown taking place of that huge grin that she'd had just a few seconds ago. "But…but I thought you two we're gonna work things out. I mean, I thought you were excited."

She shook her head, biting into her lip so hard she thought she tasted blood. "I know…" she said quietly. "It wasn't really sex. We made _love _and he told me he loved me first…he told me that him and Kikyo were done, and I know you guys are gonna think I'm really stupid, but I don't want to get hurt again. Because him and Kikyo always end up together again, they always do. And I just don't think I'm ready."

Sango shook her finger at her, a grimace on her face. "Kagome…"

"What if he was just lying because he was so excited about getting laid? What if he lied about the whole Kikyo thing because he wanted to get laid? What if he told me he loved me just because he wanted to get laid?" Kagome bit her lip once more, this time for sure tasting blood in her mouth. "I don't want to have another broken heart. I'm tired of Inuyasha breaking my heart. I love him more than anything, you guys have always known that. But what if he doesn't love me the same?"

Miroku seemed just as upset as his wife. He rolled his eyes before speaking, "Oh, yeah. He totally doesn't love you the same. Kagome, what is going through your head? If you love him you've got to give him another chance and if he screws up again, you can finally let go and move on. But it's all about the risk. I'm pretty sure you're not taking that much of a risk, anyway, anybody who doesn't see how deeply Inuyasha has felt for you for fucking _years _would have to be blind, deaf, and mentally ill."

Sango immediately took Kagome's side. "Back off," she snarled at her husband. "Kagome has a good reason for this. You've always seen things Inuyasha's way. But were you there with her when he left her? Yeah, you told her that she had your number if she ever needed you. But who got to see just how much he hurt her? I was there every single _fucking _time she cried because of him. I'm the only one who knew what she was going through, who knew about all of the things he said to and about her! You have _no _idea what she's been through."

By now, her breathing was erratic, a light sweat on her forehead. Here she was, in between the two of them while they were having a heated argument that had started over _her _and her stupid _feelings_. Sango and Miroku hardly ever argued. And now they were, because she had been so weak back then. Everyone knew it, and now they were _arguing _over it.

"I'm tired of everyone thinking that Inuyasha's the only one in the wrong here!" Miroku said, startling his wife with a raised voice and such anger in his eyes that she'd never seen before. She took a step back from him, a gasp unintentionally falling from her lips. "You know what? He _does _love her and I'm tired of everyone saying how much of a bastard he's been! Yes, he was in the past, but it's different now. He _loves _her just like she loves him. You've always judged him, Sango, you've always criticized him. But she hurt him too!"

"He had hurt her a million times before!" Sango said, fists balling at her sides as she took a step closer to her husband, all surprise that she felt a couple of seconds ago completely diminished. "She never did a damn thing to be hurt by him like she was! So please fucking excuse her for not wanting to go through the shit again. Inuyasha _always _hurt her. He teased her, patronized her, threw everything in his face! He fucked her up and left her down, and even if he says he loves her, _it's not enough_. It'll never be enough."

Kagome stood and decided to intervene right then and there, coming between the fighting couple. She didn't want to be the reason their marriage ended, be the reason why they were arguing. The two depended on each other, they needed each other, loved each other with all the intensity and anticipation with the seconds of silence between a roar of thunder and a shock of lightening. They _needed _each other, they didn't need her starting any arguments between each other.

"Just stop!" Kagome yelled, meeting both of their eyes. Everything went silent and she could feel the fragile heart within her chest beating the loudest it could possibly beat. "Just…stop. I didn't mean for this to be an argument."

Sango backed away from her husband, her chest heaving up and down and her face red from all the exertion she'd put in to screaming at her beloved husband. She took a look at Kagome, who looked as if she was about to pass out from stress, then took one good look at the love of her life he looked beyond hurt. "It's not enough." She told him quietly, all passion in her voice gone, lost. But Kagome knew she'd find that passion again soon.

"Sango—" Kagome started, only to be interrupted by her.

Sango whipped around quick to face her. "You know it's not enough, Kagome."

All she could do was look down, ashamed.

And no, it wasn't enough. Love wasn't even close enough. People said things that they didn't mean all the time, just like her best friend and the closest thing she ever had to an older brother, the closest thing she ever had to a father. Because Miroku was wise and calm and quiet and knowing, and Sango was someone that she knew would always have her back and laugh with her when all she felt like doing was crying. They were the glue that kept her together, kept all the little pieces of her stitched together. And now she felt like she was breaking them apart.

Love should've been something that Inuyasha didn't even have to think about. Of course she'd always wanted to hear it, and he said it. She always wanted him to show her, and he proved he did by making love to her in her own bed.

But love could have been like alcohol. It burns your throat, that first sip always burns. And your first taste could be horrible, disgusting, or amazing, exhilarating, wonderful. It all depended on your sense of taste. But the taste always fades, and pretty soon, it tastes like nothing, and you're so used to it you can abuse it if you want to. "I love you, I love you, I love you" and pretty soon it makes no sense, because it has no meaning behind it. Like you're drinking vodka or champagne and all you taste is water. "I love you, I love you, I don't love you."

That's why she was so terrified.

**XXXXX**

As the day progressed on, he was getting more and more pissed until all he could see was red.

He'd tried calling her, texting her. But his calls directed him straight to her stupid little voicemail, and every time he heard that stupid voice of hers, he only saw more and more red. All of his texts weren't replied to. She'd cut her phone off.

He was hurt, and oh, how his hurt was demanding his acknowledgement.

So, first he went to ask her mother.

He knocked politely on her door as he always had, and she welcomed him in with open arms and a great, big warm smile on her lips. Her eyes were glowing excitedly, and he loved Mrs. Higurashi, but that smile only pissed him off more. It reminded him of Kagome's way too much.

She sat down at the table, gesturing for him to take a seat, also, and politely asked him if he wanted a cup of tea, and of course, he declined politely. Tea was the last fucking thing on his mind.

"What's wrong, honey?" she asked him soothingly, concern filling up her eyes. "Are you and Kagome okay now?"

Ah, so she hadn't told her mother that they'd '_made up.' _He almost snorted in aggravation. That just made him have to explain _everything_.

"Uh…kind of. But I haven't heard from her since last night, and I was wondering if she stayed here or something. I haven't been able to make contact with her, either." He told her mother gently, trying to keep his temper. Just thinking about the whole situation pissed him off.

The concern in her eyes increased tenfold. "Hmm…her phone is off and you haven't heard from her? No, honey, she hasn't been here all day. Have you tried going back to her apartment? Or maybe she's with Sango. You know how those girls are," she took a sip of her tea, a smile crossing her lips once more. "I'm glad that you two are okay now, by the way. I've just always known you two were going to be together one of these days, now—"

He interrupted her, aggravation on his features and all in his tone. "It's more complicated than that. I…I spent the night with her last night, you know, we…we decided we were going to work things out," he said awkwardly, really not wanting to admit to her mother that he had been banging her last night. "When I woke up…she was gone. She didn't leave a note, text me or anything. So I don't think I did anything wrong," he said with a snort, crossing his arms and his eyes hardening in annoyance. "I…I just don't know what I did wrong. It's not like she's missing or anything, but I know for a fact that wherever she is that she doesn't want anything to do with me at the moment, and I…I just don't get it."

He was sure he looked like a kicked puppy at the moment, but he hardly cared at all.

Mrs. Higurashi looked at him, a thoughtful look on her face. "Well, you love her, don't you?"

He looked up, surprised. "I…yeah, I do. I get the whole Kikyo thing, but me and Kikyo are finally done—and for good this time. I get the fact that she was upset about the whole thing…but I told her to her face that I love her. I don't see what I could have done wrong."

She smiled at him. She actually smiled, all that worry and concern in her eyes suddenly void. She looked—she looked _happy_. Like she wasn't accusing him of hurting her daughter, like she was sure everything would turn out fine, and for a brief second, he actually felt hopeful.

"You two have seriously got it bad," she said almost slyly. "I always pictured it would be exactly like this."

He was getting frustrated again, all he wanted to do was know that she was okay and where she was and if she was safe, but he refused to go out of his way doing so, because he felt so…so _stupid_. He felt like his emotions were being played with like brand new toys, he felt as if he was an idiot for actually telling her that he loved her. Maybe it was the worst mistake he'd ever made.

He was about to open his mouth again, but her mother beat him to it. "Kagome's sensitive, she bruises easily. And certainly all that pain she felt before can't just disappear over night, honey. It takes time. Kagome doesn't want to be hurt anymore, and I'm not saying you'll hurt her again, because I can tell from the look in your eyes that you won't," she told him quietly. "But she's a smart girl. She knows what she's doing and what she's getting herself in to. But the thing about being smart is that you might think you know everything. So she's expecting you to hurt her again, most likely. Poor dear, she probably didn't sleep a wink…" Mrs. Higurashi trailed off.

"…but you've got to be patient if nothing else. Wounds take time to heal. Trust takes time to build, and she's probably terrified of everything falling apart. Because she loves you, don't you doubt that for a second," she told him seriously. "Give her space. Give her just enough time to get it figured out, but show her that you care. Show her to trust you again. Just take your time with her, and I promise you, it'll be as if you worked magic."

But he didn't want to give her space.

"But what if she—" he started, only to be interrupted.

"She loves you. Give her time."

Listening to Kagome's mother probably would have saved him a bunch of trouble, but he was a greedy bastard who took what he wanted when he wanted it.

And all he wanted was Kagome.

**XXXXX**

She could've considered changing her number, but that wouldn't have helped her. She could have called him and told him she was sorry for the way she left, but that wouldn't have helped much, either, because she knew Inuyasha and she knew he was pissed. She could've went home to her empty apartment and drunk away all her problems, but that wouldn't help even in the slightest bit, either.

So she got herself some money and rented a room for the night.

After all, Sango and Miroku needed time to fix themselves, and she wanted to be anywhere but the place she called home. So she found herself the most expensive place she could find with an open room and hid out for the night, because she didn't want to be bothered. She could barely deal with herself at the moment…

Her phone had gone dead earlier that day, and she was tempted to bring it back to life to call him or something, to let him know that she just needed some time to herself, that she was okay…if he would have even cared. But she didn't want to deal with him being mad at her. He would be mad regardless, but right now, she wanted some peace and quiet.

The bubble bath was nice, and the hotel offered a nice basket of things that made her smell delicious and made her skin smooth to the touch. If she was one of those weak girls, she would have sat in the tub and cried, cursing god and saying that she didn't need anyone, but she wasn't one of those girls, so she just scrubbed at her skin until it turned the ugliest shade of red she'd ever seen and washed her hair as if she was trying to wash all thoughts away.

It wasn't working.

She felt guilty, she really did. But she was surprised at the fact that he hadn't barged through the door yet, demanding to know why she'd done something as stupid as running off without even leaving a note behind…

But then she thought of what Sango said.

It would never be enough.

She wanted his love to be enough and everything she needed and ever wanted, and it was. But she was frankly terrified at the fact that people woke up with different feelings everyday…because one day he could love her and the next…he could be in love with her cousin once more.

Kagome scoffed to herself as she shakily stood up, aggravated and completely unsatisfied. The warm bath was supposed to help her think herself into happiness, not sadness. It was supposed to help her feel tranquil, not annoyed.

Reaching for the basket again to grab some of the really nice smelling lotion they had to offer, she blushed when she took the time to notice what she hadn't acknowledged before. They also decided to include condoms and lube and other…adult necessities, and she groaned to herself, rolling her eyes.

God was probably looking down on her from high up, laughing.

She groaned again and snatched up the lotion, really wanting to go to bed now…

Maybe she'd just fade away for the night and deal with the world, whose hand had her by the throat at the moment, tomorrow.

**XXXXX**

It wasn't like it was killing him, it wasn't killing him. That was the thing. He was thinking of the thing that _could've _been killing him, but he wasn't letting it kill him. He wasn't giving his thoughts the power to do that tonight.

If Kagome didn't want to be found, he wouldn't find her.

He knew she was safe wherever she was tonight, that's all that mattered. After all, her mother hadn't been worried, and neither had Sango or Miroku. He didn't throw a fit because they wouldn't give him the information as to where she was. He was angry, sure, but he was thinking of what her mother said…

Maybe she just needed time. Because the Kagome he knew wouldn't have been _that _heartless to leave him alone, just disappear off the face of the earth.

But for the love of fucking God, he couldn't figure out what he'd done wrong. He certainly hadn't been bad in bed, not with the way her legs wrapped around him, not with those sexy moans he drew out of her lips, not with the way her nails had dug into his back, into his shoulders. Not with the way she'd kissed him.

It was driving him absolutely insane.

It was late at night now, and he was all alone in an apartment that didn't seem like anything without Kagome there. He knew he would probably end up giving her a mouthful when she finally decided to act like an adult for once and confront him about her feelings, even though he was never good at talking about emotions, even though he knew he was never very sympathetic towards anyone.

Maybe…maybe that was what had happened. Maybe, just maybe, he hadn't shown her enough, and maybe that was why she had run away. But he didn't understand what he'd done to hurt her, he didn't understand what he'd done to make her run away like that.

But…he'd been so sure of his feelings for her and he'd been sure that she returned them with just as much intensity. Sure, he'd only shown her how much he really cared for her a couple of times, but he didn't get it. He'd told her, let her hear the words. Wasn't hearing something final?

He…he'd fucking _loved _her and she'd disregarded it as if it meant nothing, as if he was something to just be thrown away! He sat up in bed with a growl and with a sinking in his chest. And she'd said it back, maybe she'd just fucking _lied_.

He'd fucking admitted what he never thought he'd have to admit to her, and felt as if she laughed in his face.

But as soon as he sat up, he fell back against the bed, falling and falling and falling.

He knew it was so much more easier to be angry rather than sad, it was so much easier to hate her instead of loving her. He continued to fall until he fell asleep, slowly but surely.

But not once did he think about how she felt. Not once did he consider that it would be fairly hard to accept a love that you didn't think you deserved, not once did he consider that sometimes love isn't enough.

Because he was a bastard, and bastards went about their own way with things. That's exactly what he was planning to do. He fell asleep, thinking that he deserved an apology.

And he would wake up thinking that he still deserved an apology, too, because bastards always deserved apologies, especially when their hearts were heavy.

**A/N: It totally fucking sucks, I know. And I'm really sorry for not updating, and I'm sorry for this sucky chapter. I was kind of in another world when I wrote the first part, and from then on, I lost inspiration because I've been busy taking tests in school, but it's finally summer and I just figured out I'm definitely going to be a junior next year, so I haven't been writing much. It was extremely hard for me to keep my grades up, but I passed with all A's and B's. **

**To whoever is mad at me because I haven't been able to update, you've got to understand that I have a REAL life. Fanfiction is not my job, nor is it what I do in all my free time. I'm working on getting a job, and between babysitting and general life problems, I don't have time to update every week. It's freaking summer.**

**Also, anything I write will definitely get finished. It may take a while, but I don't just give up on something I started. I actually have a life, believe it or not. But anyway, now that I've got that off my mind, I apologize once more. This chapter really fucking sucks. I'm just happy to get it over with so I can move on. I'll probably be updating sooner now that all the extra stress of school is out of the way. **

**Review, tell me what you'd like to see next. Until next time! Thanks to every single one of you. (:**


	16. Out With the Old

He was having a bad morning. No, it wasn't just bad, it was horrible, to say the least.

The coffee was stale and the phone had been ringing as soon as he got in. His father had been bitching and complaining all morning, asking him where Kagome was, _Kagome, Kagome, Kagome_, well, fuck Kagome and fuck the whole morning as far as he was concerned.

And she was the reason that he could barely hold his eyes open. She was the reason he felt as empty as he was before she came back into his life all of a sudden. She was the reason for all of this, and maybe he was an asshole to assume that she should take the blame on everything, but _never_, not _once_, has Inuyasha Takahashi ever owned up to being an asshole. Not once has he been fucked over and felt this down about it.

So you can imagine his surprise over what happened next.

Grumpy and shooting hateful looks to everyone that walked past him, looks that were so bad they made the passing person quiver in fear and anxiety, he walked into his father's office, and right then, guess who he bumped into? Guess who made him spill piping hot coffee all over his silk white designer shirt?

Kagome Higurashi.

"Shit—I mean…oops, I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed as she rushed and bent over to pick up the fallen coffee cup, and as she did his eyes hungrily skimmed over her ample cleavage, those milky white thighs, that long hair, those rosy cheeks.

And then, when she finally looked up, her mouth fell open in surprise. He could have laughed. But all he felt were his fists shaking and his head ready to explode.

"Inuyasha…look—" she began, only to be cut off by him.

"Fuck you," he said quietly, so terrifyingly quiet that people paused and gasped, standing around for what they knew was going to be a great show.

Her eyebrow twitched. "Um, excuse me?"

"Fuck you," he repeated louder, making everyone around gasp in surprise. It wasn't like they didn't know of the temper he had, but he was open about it, completely unprofessional and so unlike him.

"I get that you're mad, but let me explain—" she started, only to be cut off again.

"You're fired."

"Inuyasha…" she reached forward to grab hold of his hand as he began to walk away, and she could've swore she heard her heart break when he shoved her away roughly. Eyes watering and her defense mechanism kicking in, she stomped her foot and stood her ground. "You're an asshole! I know I haven't showed up…I know I'm late…that's due to personal reasons, and you should get that more than anyone," she shot him a look. "I know you're mad at me, I know I pissed you off, but firing me over something that stupid? That's fucking idiotic."

He growled, in her face now. He licked his lips as he watched her gulp, drinking in the scent of her anxiety and fear, her displacement. "I don't care anymore, Higurashi," and he could tell that one little thing that he said right there killed her on the spot, and he laughed. You got what you gave. And now he'd take pleasure in his chance to hurt someone, because she'd hurt him. "You're fired, and you were replaced a long time ago. Get out of here."

Her voice shook but she spoke anyway. She looked him straight in the eye, her expression slightly unsure and beyond hurt, but she did what she had to do anyway. "No."

He seethed. "Get the fuck out of here!"

She shook her head, a tear falling down her cheek. "I'm not going anywhere until you let me tell you what happened—"

He laughed so coldly it sent chills down her back. "But I don't care about what happened anymore."

She looked straight at him, her face determined now, and all of this was just another reason that he did love her. Not that he wanted to think about it, but she was always so strong when he knew the first thing she wanted to do was break down, always so brave even when she wasn't a match, she was never a coward. And she always went after what she want, she was as stubborn as they came but he loved her. And god, it added fuel to the fire. And he wanted to fight because he wanted to feel _something_. He wasn't looking for a declaration of love. He was looking for her to care.

"You do. You talked to Mama—" she started, and then she paused, taking a deep breath. "Look, I know what I did was fucked. I could've talked to you about it, I didn't have to leave. I know it was childish and I know it was stupid, but all I want to do is talk to you."

And she said that so softly and so brokenly that for a second, he considered it.

And then he remembered that no one was allowed to break his heart anymore or run off on him to make him feel like a fool ever again. And maybe she hadn't changed, and he'd never been the type to take risks especially if love was involved.

So he did what he had to do.

"I said, and I repeat, fuck you. I don't care about what happened and I sure as hell don't care about what you have to say anymore. So go look for another job. You always wanted to be a model, right? You're perfect for that. No brains, no goals, nothing better to do than be pretty," and he hadn't meant to compliment her, but by the look on her face, she knew it wasn't meant as a compliment, either. "You're jobless, Higurashi. I would say sorry, but I'm not. Now, get the fuck out of here."

She looked at him for a while, taking a step back like she was surprised.

And then he watched as realization took over her features. Like she was realizing her worth to him, like she was realizing that she'd fallen in love with the completely wrong person, and that terrified him.

She held up her hands, giving up, her eyes blank and her face stoic.

And then she turned around, and she left.

**XXXXX**

He hated arguing with her more than he hated anything else.

She was his wife, for the love of god, of course he hated arguing with her. But what he hated more than anything were those times when she got in her moods after they were done arguing, those days where she wouldn't speak to him at all, where she left a huge gap of tension between them.

So he moped around all day, doing this and doing that, making breakfast, cleaning, eating, doing whatever he could to avoid her. She needed time to cool down. He knew she wouldn't say anything to him first, so he was waiting until he felt like he was good and ready.

So when she walked into the bedroom where he lay, he was surprised to hear her speak to him first.

"Hey," she said with a soft smile, taking a seat on the bed next to him. He sat up anxiously and she laughed. "Don't worry. I'm not going to hit you, and I'm not going to scream at you."

He gave her a soft smile, relaxing a bit. "Well, hey to you, too."

She looked overjoyed and she leaned into him and he eagerly wrapped an arm around her. "I'm sorry, I was a dickhead to you this morning and I started an argument over nothing. I never apologize first so you'd better forgive me."

He laughed. "Don't I always forgive you, Sango dear?"

He felt her smile into his arm. And then she pulled him back, made him lay down with her and she cuddled into his side, her breath against his neck. Miroku lived for moments like these. When it was the calm _after _the storm, when she wasn't angry and when they lived up to all the promises they made each other.

"I'm glad you didn't have to work today," she told him quietly after a while. "And I am sorry about this morning. But you know how it is. I've seen Kagome hurt time and time again, and I get protective over her. I love her, you know that."

He pulled her closer, kissing her forehead. "I know. And I'm sorry too. I was insensitive. I should've been more careful with what I said. I guess it makes sense if you think about it."

"You get it?" she asked, surprised.

"Yeah, I do. We both know what she's been through when it comes to Inuyasha, and we both know that it's been years since she's really been this happy. And I didn't understand what I haven't been through. But he's hurt her over and over again. He's lied to her, he's used her, he's hated her. And it's not that easy, I'd guess. You can't just forget all of that. It leaves scars. And it takes time, and sometimes you need a little more than love to prove that everything's okay again. I'm sorry I didn't see where either of you were coming from. And I'm sorry I took up for Inuyasha. I mean I am, but I'm not. Because Inuyasha loves her, I know he does, he just has different ways of showing his love for people. He's a hard ass and she's fucking perfect for him."

"But maybe they're just too toxic for each other. Both of them are emotionally destroyed."

"Nah," he said, yawning, getting tired from the warmth of her body near his. "They fix each other when they're not arguing and fighting and throwing the past in each other's faces. They're good for each other, they balance the other out. And they make each other happy. Inuyasha is—well, he was, happy. They'll be okay eventually."

Sango nodded against him. "You're right. I shouldn't worry so much. Kagome's a big girl, I'm not her mother."

She sat up then, leaving him wondering if he'd done something wrong.

"I have to tell you something," she said, her eyes dead serious on his.

He sat up then, too, hand already on her shoulder and preparing himself for whatever it was.

"I know I've been a whiny, crazy bitch lately."

He shook his head, cracking a little smile. "No you haven't. It's okay, don't worry."

She looked at him again, shrugging his hand off her shoulder. "But we have to, Miroku."

He raised a brow at her, because no woman was as confusing as his Sango.

"We've got to worry now. Because we're having a baby."

He thought that he'd choked, thought he saw his life flash before his eyes, and then, he wasn't sure what happened next.

**XXXXX**

She did all she could think to do. Couldn't run to Sango who made her laugh and forget about the tears, no, she couldn't run to the wise and calm and patient Miroku, no, so she ran to her mother.

It wasn't like she hated being home. It wasn't like she hated long talks with her mother. No, she hated being questioned. She hated the fact that her mother was ashamed even if she admitted or not. She saw a future in her that Kagome wasn't making come true. And she hated that the most. She hated feeling like a disappointment, like a big mess of a joke that went extremely wrong.

Apparently, her mother already knew what would happen, she already knew that she'd be needing her because as soon as she stepped in the warm home and out of the cold of the evening, there was dinner waiting for her and a cup of tea while her Mama sat at the table, reading the newspaper.

"I figured you'd be here sooner or later," she greeted her with a warm smile and open arms. She ran her fingers through her hair, and even though she felt like the biggest cry baby and disappointment in the world, her mother let her be that for the time being as she rocked her back and forth, and gently whispered into her ear. "Shh, be calm now. It's going to be okay."

She shook her head, pulling away. She hiccupped. "No, Mama. He hates me all over again."

God, she felt like a teenager again. Or a little girl. The sweet, innocent little girl she used to be. She felt like she did that time when she was six, learning to ride her bike, and then she fell and scraped her knee. Just a little scrape, but it had hurt like a bitch and she'd bled a lot. Here she was, hiccupping like she was when she was six when she fell, only difference now was that she was twenty-two, and it wasn't a scraped knee, it was a broken heart. And she'd fell hard, but now, she kept falling and falling and falling.

Once all the hiccups were over, and once all the tears dried on her cheeks and made them sting, her mother sat her down for a cup of tea right at that table.

She picked over the dinner, not really wanting to eat, not really wanting to deal with reality.

"You've got to eat, dear," her mother said as she wiped the corner of her mouth with a tissue, "and then we can talk."

Kagome snorted. "All that crying, I don't really feel like talking anymore."

"There's got to be another reason you came. You never come here anymore. You're upset and you need to talk about it until it doesn't hurt anymore. Well, of course it'll still hurt, but not as bad. I'll understand."

So she ate, and she talked, and her mother understood. She always did. Well, not all of the time, but most of the time, she did. And she was a good listener.

So she told her mother about the story of a girl who lost her reputation and never gained it back. And she told her that she did love him almost more than anything else, not that it was much of a surprise, because who didn't know? And then she told her about how she was different from Kikyo, told her how Inuyasha always looked for comparisons but eventually, he found and seen those differences, too.

Any mother in their right mind would tell their daughter to be done, to let him go because better things and better men were coming. But no, not this mother.

"I never raised my daughter to be an idiot, but obviously, I did," and then, she actually laughed. "He cares about you. But you know him, he's always been kind of weird and awkward about things that have to do with love, dear. I understand, I do. I see why you left without an explanation. But you're not giving him a chance. Especially when he seems so intent on making things right. He's hurt you before, yes, but sometimes the ones we love hurt us the most, but it doesn't change much. We still love them, don't we? So why would he hate you?"

She sighed. "Because I'm an idiot. And maybe I shouldn't have up and left like that but when you've been hurt so many times before, you get worried. And you lose faith. I've never been scared of anything. But you know what? Inuyasha Takahashi scares me, and getting hurt that badly again scares me too."

"And that's normal. You wouldn't be human if you didn't feel that way, Kagome. I didn't raise a fool. Don't lose him."

"Mama," Kagome said, sighing exhaustedly. "You don't understand. There're some things you just can't undo. And I can't undo all the damage he's done to me, and I can't undo hurting him, either. It would be nice, but it's not that easy. And of course I don't wanna lose him, but he was never really mine to lose. So maybe I should give up. It's been years and I'm still getting hurt."

Mrs. Higurashi shot her a look. "Love like that doesn't come around too often. I can tell by the way you talk about him. And if you want to lose the best thing that ever happened to you, that's you, Kagome. I can't change your mind, and besides, you're grown now. You're a woman who's capable of making her own decisions but you think hard and clear before you make up your mind. Because when you're angry, you can do reckless things and lose people you thought would be there forever. It's not going to be easy but the daughter I raised never gave up on anything she had a passion for, or anyone that she cared about. It's going to be fine, Kagome."

She was a big weeping baby again, sniffling and hiccupping. "But Mama, I do care about him. I care more than anyone else."

"Well," her mother started, a little smile on her face, "when you have something good, you hold on to it. And if anyone or anything tries to take that away from you, what you do is make sure that they can only pry it from your cold, dead fingers. So many blessings are coming to you, baby girl, but you've got to be the one to make all of it come true."

**XXXXX**

When all the sniffling, hiccupping, and crying was finally out of her system for good, she had time to think to herself. She had time to sit there and think of all she'd been through these past couple of days and how she was going to make it out.

There were so many changes that she would have to adjust to.

First off, she never let a man control her. She never needed anyone but Kagome Higurashi and she had sworn, taken an oath, that if she loved herself enough then that's all she would ever need. Only thing those guys were good for was sex and headaches, and then, of course, Inuyasha Takahashi came back into her life.

You either had the feeling or you didn't.

And she knew she did. So that's what she thought of as she knocked on his apartment door, her breathing considerably uneven.

And then she started thinking of the worst, because it wasn't that she didn't love him, it was the fact that she _did_. It's the sound of him slamming the door so hard she thought her whole apartment would tumble down and come crashing around her like he did. It was the way she tried to break her teeth on vodka bottles the first few years when he left for good. It was about the more in morphine. The numbing of pain. It was anesthesia. It was depression pills and all you could think of. It was all the blood in the sink. It was crying so hard she laughed, sitting in the bathtub thinking she needed no one. It was crying so hard she puked. It was pale faces and shaky breaths and hips grinding together at 4am to make the pain go away. It was not that she didn't love him.

It's that time back in high school when she stayed up all night with Sango while she cried herself to sleep because Miroku fucked his ex. Sometimes she swore she could still see those tear streaks stained on her cheeks. It was madness, it was cowering under the bed and thinking you're crazy and not wanting to see the sun and not wanting to feel anything. It was the transformation, like the seasons, like good Kagome to bad Kagome, like sweet Kagome to a Kagome who fooled everyone but herself into thinking that she was okay. It's that whole two months back in grade nine when she had a substitute in English because her real teacher was going through a nasty divorce, couldn't even handle getting out of bed. She came back with the most painful smile you'd ever have the displeasure of laying eyes on, it was the way her hands shook when she tried to sip her coffee or tea. It was knowing that something was broken inside forever. It wasn't that she didn't love him.

It was knowing that sometimes, you just couldn't fix what was broken.

She had gotten an A in English that year because her teacher's head was always spinning too fast and too hard to comprehend any of her essays.

It's not that she didn't love Inuyasha, it's that she really, _really _did.

Her heart stopped a little when she knocked again and the door came open by itself. She expected him to give her another "fuck you," another "get out and don't ever come back," but he wasn't there.

She paused, looking around his apartment only to realize she heard water in the bathroom running.

Maybe she should go. Maybe Mama had been wrong and maybe they were just toxic for each other and nothing but misery, because misery loved it's company, and she didn't wanna be miserable and she didn't wanna make him miserable either, but she needed one more shot in the dark, she needed to say sorry, she needed to know he cared even the slightest.

His apartment looked neat this time. Not that it was ever extremely messy, but it looked like he'd had a lot of time on his hands. On his desk were papers that were stacked up way high, all over the place, the room dim and it didn't feel like a home, it just felt like somewhere you could stay.

And she thought of making a home with him, not a house, but a home. And she thought of pregnancy tests and Christmases spent together and laughter and a love that she wouldn't even have to think about. Maybe she shouldn't go. She'd never been able to think about those things with anyone else. _Never_.

She was silent, silent as a mouse as she crept through his apartment, almost laughing at the fact that he hadn't sensed her yet. How had he not heard her? How had he not smelt her?

She peeked around the corner, peeked into his room. She seen a box of things packed up, and she couldn't help herself. She entered the room, still trying to be as quiet as possible, and her heart dropped.

He was packing up his things. There were boxes of _his _clothes, boxes full of papers and suitcases that were so stuffed they looked like they may burst. There was his closet door, left wide open, all clothes in it nearly gone and obviously packed in a few of the suitcases and in a few of the boxes. There were picture frames in boxes and important documents that he'd surely need. No wonder everything looked so neat, because everything was nearly gone, everything was almost empty.

The box with the picture frames intrigued her first. She fell to her knees, her heart breaking, breaking even more when she seen that those were pictures of him and Kikyo. Letters they shared. Little things that made them the couple that they were now, or the couple they used to be, she didn't know, she didn't fucking know. There were trinkets and there were post cards and kissy faces and his ugly, messy handwriting. There was "Love, Inuyasha," or "Love, Kikyo," there were things that made her heart snap, made her cheeks bleed, made her eyes swell with tears.

And she should've _known_.

She should've known her worth to Inuyasha Takahashi a long time ago, she should've known that she'd never replace Kikyo. And how stupid she felt. She hadn't expected this. When did he even start thinking about leaving again, why didn't he ever decide to tell her? And was this all some stupid, sick, twisted scheme to break her heart again? To leave just like that? Make all those feelings come back tenfold and then just forget about it, just take a plane to anywhere he fucking wanted and never see her again? Was she that easy to be forgotten?

A choked sob escaped her mouth before she could help it, and covering her mouth with her hand didn't do the trick.

She gasped as she caught him walking furiously towards her in the corner of her eye, and suddenly, all her attention was on him. His wet hair, his broad, muscular chest that was damp from his shower, his jeans hanging dangerously low on his hips, the way he was snarling, the way his eyes flashed from red to gold, the malice in them. And she was completely taken aback as he snatched her arm, jerking her up, making her drop the picture of him and Kikyo that she'd forgot she was holding.

"_Get out_! What the _fuck _are you doing here, and how did you even get in?" he asked furiously, his claws digging into her arm. "Why are you going through all my stuff?! And look at what you've done!" He shouted in her face, jerking a finger down towards the picture that had fell from her hands. There were pieces of glass all over the floor, and she hadn't even registered in her mind that she'd broken it.

"Inuyasha—I…the door was open and—" she started, her fear spiking as he narrowed his eyes at her even more. She knew he'd never hit her, she knew he'd never hit any woman…but still…

"The door was left open because Miroku was supposed to come by tonight, not you, definitely not you, Higurashi!" he ran a hand through his hair, almost looking as if he was going to pull it out. He paced back and forth, and he was terrifying her, she'd never seen him this angry. "Get _out_!"

"Inuyasha—" she tried to reach out for him, only for him to push her away.

And she was crying again. Sniffling. Hiccupping like the big baby that she was earlier. Mama was wrong, she had been so wrong.

"What are you here for?" he asked, taking a step away from her before he completely lost it. "You think it's completely okay for you to just waltz in and go through my shit like you've been doing it for years? No. I told you I had nothing else left to say. You're fired. You're jobless. And I'm gone. Isn't that enough? What else do you fucking _want_, Higurashi?"

She didn't think she'd ever cried like this in front of anyone before. She didn't think she'd ever put herself on display before as much as she was now. She'd never been desperate, and she never had to beg for what she wanted because she got it either way. She always got her way, and being this vulnerable, and letting Inuyasha Takahashi see her like this, for Gods sake, was something that was foreign to her.

"I—I just wanted to talk to you, Inuyasha, I just wanted to ask you—"

He snarled, in her face in seconds, and suddenly she felt a sharp pain in her back and it was then that she realized that he'd ended up slamming her pretty roughly into the wall.

"You're hurting me," she groaned out, panting, face red and turning extremely angry.

He laughed. He wanted to see her fight back. He wanted to see her lose.

His laugh was eerily cool, his warm breath against her cheek as he pressed harder into her, making her groan from the sharp pain in her back. She should have never came. "Hurt? You don't know anything about hurt, wench. Hurt is admitting you love somebody, admitting that you'd do whatever for them, even _showing_ them that, and then, you know what they do? They just up and leave without any explanation, they cut their phone off so they don't receive any of your texts or calls, they disappear over night. Hurt is being stupid enough to love someone that selfish and feeling that foolish over it. You don't know _shit _about being hurt."

"Inuyasha," she whispered almost desperately, tears swelling up in her eyes again and she was almost choking on her own sobs. His eyes softened for a brief second on hers before returning to their coolness. "You don't get it. You don't understand. You fucking _know _that I'd never hurt you intentionally. If you would just let me talk to you—"

"You hurt me." He growled.

"Inuyasha, I know—" she sounded almost angry and pleading at the same time, tears staining her pink cheeks.

"There aren't any excuses."

"No, that's not fair! And obviously," she said through tears, trying to keep her voice together and push him off of her at the same time, "you'd been thinking about leaving for a _long _time! And I never _once _thought of leaving, and that's fucked up, you know? Because I should be the one packing my shit up and running as far away from you as possible! But no, baka, you don't fucking get it and you never will. I fucking _love _you, and yes, maybe it was an accident just leaving the way I did, but I didn't know what else to do!"

Suddenly, he was angrier than he'd been in a long time and he just pushed himself right back up against her, his lips centimeters from hers as he yelled right there in her face. "No, _you're _the one who left first, wench! I couldn't even get a hold of you, imagine how worried I was! I didn't know where you were! I didn't know whether you were mad or not, because you're always mad over _stupid shit_, for fucks sake! And you know what? You probably couldn't stand the thought of being with a half-breed, just like that damn cousin of yours! But why couldn't you have just told me? I looked like a fucking moron, Kagome. I couldn't even fucking track you down by scent. You're a sneaky little bitch, you know that, right? And what's it fucking _matter_? Who did you fuck this time? Was it Hojo? Bankotsu, Kouga, all of the other guys you fuck around on? _Fuck you_!"

Screaming, and biting deep into his neck, she pushed and kicked away, and before she knew it she had drew back her hand and smacked him hard across the face, the sound of the impact echoing throughout his nearly empty apartment. He must have been just as shocked as she was, because his mouth fell slightly open and he immediately brought a cool hand to rest upon his cheek, his eyes wide on hers with some sort of emotion she didn't have time to decipher.

He was bleeding, and she got the strangest urge to lick it all away. And she hated him more than anything in that moment. She hated him more than the cigarettes she used to smoke, the old movies that made her cry, she hated him more than she hated the sand for holding the seas back.

He backed off a bit, wincing as he brought his hand down to his neck, too. He staggered a few feet away from her.

"Fuck _you_, Inuyasha Takahashi."

And just like a magnet, he was coming towards her again. He slammed both hands on either side of her, escaping her from leaving. He laughed again, she was angry now, no more tears, just all of her rage. And this is how he wanted her to be. He wanted to start a fight, he wanted to feel something.

She grabbed two fistfuls of his shirt, trying to push him away.

"You're not going anywhere, fucking bitch," he snarled. He growled in anger and pain when he felt her knee connect with his groin area, and he immediately took care of that problem by spreading her knees apart with his legs, successfully wrapping her legs tight around his hips, thrusting up against her. She gave out a moan that he could tell she meant to conceal, and he smirked. Anger and adrenaline pumping through her veins, and she took those two fistfuls of his shirt that she was still viciously and subconsciously gripping onto and shoved him into her, her mouth moving quickly and roughly against his, her teeth biting into his bottom lip _hard_.

He growled, thrusting his arousal against her once more. She leaned her head back, baring her neck as her lips parted for a moan.

"You're—you're so fucking…_uhh…_stupid! Why can't you ever just say how you feel and not be such a _dick _about it for once?" she moaned out angrily as he continued to thrust up against her, and suddenly she was near the brink of screaming, she was _so close_.

He growled in response, his teeth nipping her neck harshly and his claws ripping at her shirt. He began to move them, and she gasped as he roughly shoved her into another wall, pain shooting through her back once again. "Fucking asshole," she muttered against his mouth before battling her tongue along with his, feeling as if this had to be the most intense thing she'd ever felt. She hated him and she loved him. She wanted to hit him and she wanted to hurt him, and she wanted to smash things and remake them with blood on her hands, she wanted some skin and she wanted some yelling, she wanted something rough and she wanted something to fall asleep to.

"I hate you," he said roughly as dropped her down to her feet. Kagome, happy to finally be let down, ran her tongue along the side of his neck, smirking when she felt him shiver. His eyes met hers as he finally ripped her shirt to shreds, and then, she was shivering. "I hate you a lot, you know."

"Hate you more," she mumbled as she pulled his bottom lip into her mouth to suck on it. His hands were over her bra clad breasts, squeezing them, his tongue on her neck, too, then his lips rough against hers, then his hands down her back, over her ass, jerking her pants down. She stepped out of them easily, kicking them away, long-forgotten. He tasted her from the inside out, his nimble fingers tangling in her bird nest hair, yanking it, pulling it, exposing her neck for him. "You never listen to what I have to say. You're inconsiderate and you're the biggest asshole I've ever met in my life. You're a jealous little fuck and you like to use and manipulate people and you throw bitch fits when things don't go your way and—"

He growled, knowing exactly what to do to shut her up. Her panties were gone in one quick movement, in one quick tear, and then he was playing with her, teasing her, making her lose her train of thought and making her whole body shake. She cried out, leaning up against him and holding on to him like he was all she'd ever known. He grunted in satisfaction; satisfaction that she finally shut up, because he didn't want to hear anything she had to say, in satisfaction because she was already so wet and ready and warm for him. She made him want to howl. Or break something. Or pull his hair out. Or fall to pieces. He hadn't decided yet. She made him want to melt.

His fingers moved carefully and quickly against and inside of her until she was shaking, crying out his name softly. He watched her facial expression switch, watched the way her mouth opened in an 'o' as she came for him, soaking his fingers more than they already were. Her face was flushed and he took pride in watching her be completely speechless for him.

He kissed her hard till her high came down, and when it was over, she opened her mouth again. "Asshole," she said breathless, shaky. "I hate you way more than you could ever hate me."

He smirked. "Don't cry again, sweetie."

And he figured that was enough for today. He was pissed off—his arousal throbbing and his breath shaky and his heart beating fast…but that was enough for today. It was a sad moment when he realized this. It really _was _enough, for good. He never thought he'd want something with Kagome. And he fooled himself into thinking that he _could _have something with her. Fooled himself into thinking that they could be happy and forget the past for once, but it wasn't happening, so that was enough for today. They were toxic to each other, and the quicker he faced and dealt with that, the less trouble he'd have.

She watched as he walked away in disbelief. "That's it?"

He turned to see she was still shaking, standing there almost completely naked except for her bra, but it looked as if it was going to fall off, anyway. He licked his lips. Her hair was tangled and everywhere, and maybe she looked like a bit of a raccoon due to her makeup running from the crying, her lips swollen and full, but she was still beautiful. Kagome Higurashi was always beautiful no matter what, and looking at her made him even angrier, because it _just wasn't fair_.

She made a sound of frustration and then she was charging at him before he knew it, and he couldn't even think. His mouth opened in surprise, and he groaned, even if she was light on top of him. She jerked his pants off in seconds, not before completely pulling her bra off and throwing it off somewhere along with the other heap of ripped, shred, and wrinkled clothes, and then she was riding him, fucking him much harder than usual.

"Y-you're such a…_uh_…such an ass," she panted, and he groaned, not even being able to comment back. He watched mesmerized as she moved up and down, her breasts bouncing with each move she made, her hips rolling against his a bit. "You can't ever just…_mmm_…talk to me about anything, can you?" she panted between breaths. Her rough treatment was turning him on, but anger and adrenaline won over, and he refused to be submissive. "I am _not _Kikyo. I…I…I care about you…and I…_fuck_—"

He thrust back up against her, successfully making her shut her mouth. He sat up as she continued to fuck him roughly, his mouth pressing against hers gently. _She cared about him_. He suddenly felt like he'd explode, or melt, and he suddenly felt so sorry. But his anger could not compete with him being sorry, so he growled loudly, pushing her off of him so that she fell on her ass, and then he was on top of her in an instant, pounding her from behind.

"You should have stayed out of my shit, Kagome," he muttered, pumping in and out of her, some of his anger residing. "You're a nosy little bitch and I can't stand you half of the time. And…_fuckkk, Kagome…_you just up and _left_, how was that supposed to make me feel?" he panted, rotating his hips in circles as he moved in and out of her in a hurry.

His anger was almost gone, and fuck, he knew he'd almost forgot what they'd been fighting about, but at least he could enjoy it a bit more.

"I know," she cried out, her voice uneven as she buried her head against the cool floor, arching her back even more for him so he could enjoy this, too. It was so hard to speak, and soon enough, all she wanted to do was make up. "I know, Yasha. But I just…I…_oh, Inuyasha…_I care about you so much. _Fuck_, I _love you _and I know I…_uhmm—"_

He tossed his head back, pounding in and out of her until she lost it, screaming out his name. "_Ah, Inuyasha_!"

He watched in fascination as her orgasm made her convulse underneath him, making her whole body shake much to his delight. And God, he had forgotten why he was even mad in the first place, but before she had the chance to completely cool down, he had flipped her around roughly, holding one leg up at a right angle as he plunged back into her, making her cry out as another orgasm roared through her. He was still so fucking mad, just couldn't figure out why. But he knew she understood when she watched him, cooing him on and letting him do as he pleased, pulling him down by his hair to press her lips gently against his, running her fingers through his scalp, trying to help him, trying to please him.

"Go ahead," she whispered quietly, recovering from her orgasm but another one surely on the verge as she moaned out his name sweetly. "Fuck me how you feel, let it all out, baby. You're mad, I get it. Go ahead."

He howled then, his thrusts becoming a bit more violent as he pulled her closer and closer, fucking her like he didn't think he could've fucked anyone else before. It was intense and it was what they both needed. His hips rolled and contracted and he tensed up, and he moaned her name sweetly as he came, his body shuddering as he fell against her neck, kissing it weakly, and then he felt her come again right after him.

Her lips found his, and after what they'd just done, she kissed him _chastely. _It was gentle and sweet, and he sighed almost sadly, wrapping his arms around her after he'd rolled off of her body. The floor was cool against his hot skin, and then he remembered exactly what they'd argued over, and apparently, she did too, because she spoke up right then and there.

"Inuyasha…I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything I said earlier. I was just so angry with you."

He nodded. "I'm sorry too."

He watched her as she sighed and got that far away from here look in her eyes as she looked to the ceiling. "I guess I ruined things."

He turned towards her, pulling her face towards him so she'd be able to look him in the eyes. She was still hurt, he knew. "It wasn't just you. It was both of us. I'm sorry for being an asshole, and bringing up the half-breed thing again. I should've let you explain, but I think I get it."

"Baka," she told him, a tear running down her cheek that she hurriedly wiped away. "I didn't leave because I don't love you. It isn't that I don't, it's that I do. A _lot_. You should be able to take it from there."

And he understood now, he did. He'd put her through a lot. It wasn't that easy, he knew. An 'I love you' didn't make the past magically disappear, nor did it fix everything that was wrong. He knew the emotional pain he put her through. He'd be guilty about that for the rest of his life, no doubt about it. He knew that it would take her a long time to be okay again. And that's why he was leaving, because he finally understood the real Kagome. And the real Kagome was nothing like Kikyo, and Kikyo couldn't even compare to the real Kagome. The real Kagome was the one who still loved him after all they'd been through. The real Kagome was sweet, intelligent, and had a lot going for her. The real Kagome deserved so much more than some jerk who'd hurt her nearly all her life.

She was so warm against him, but it wasn't like he couldn't feel that she was sad. He knew she was. "All your stuff is packed," she said after a while. "I'm not begging you to stay because I know you're going to leave regardless of what I have to say about it. But all that Kikyo stuff—the letters, the pictures, all the works. Why is it still here?"

He snorted, knowing exactly what she was thinking. "I'm not keeping it and I'm not taking it with me. Miroku was supposed to come over so he could help sort through some stuff so I could get rid of it before I leave. I don't have a reason to keep it anymore."

She nodded against him, but he smelt her tears, her anxiety, her worry. Yeah, it hurt him to know that he was hurting her by leaving, running away again, but she would be happier in the end and he could guarantee that. "I don't want you to go, Yash."

Her voice was sort of broken as she said that, but then again, she sounded stronger and he liked that a lot better. So he looked at her again and then he did the unthinkable—he kissed her just to be kissing. Just because she looked like she needed it. Her lips were pouty and swollen and red and they tasted like tears, but that was okay, too. He didn't need anything better, he just needed her right now. He didn't bite her lip or touch his tongue with hers. He just kissed her, softly, sweetly. He didn't need anything else. And when he pulled away from her mouth, he kissed her tears away because he'd always hated how tears looked on her.

"Woman, it's for your own good, you'll see," and he hoped she'd just let it stay that way, because he didn't want to argue. He had one day before he left. He didn't want to argue at all. He'd rather it be spent with them making love all day…or maybe he should just spend it alone, make it easier. But he didn't want that either. "I've got to go back, anyway. You'll see Kags, I promise."

She shook her head, sniffing. "When do you leave, and where the hell are you going?"

He smiled a little. Melancholy, but it was still a smile. "Uh, day after tomorrow. So you can spend the night with me and all day tomorrow, too, if you want," he smiled a little. "And France. Paris. City of love, you know."

She frowned. "What's there for you, Inuyasha?"

"There's business everywhere. You know that. And plus, you knew I couldn't stay here forever." He told her gently, not getting annoyed, but getting nervous. He hadn't thought about it until right now, and now that he was, it made his gut tight, made an empty feeling spread all over his body from his head to his toes. And his smile was gone.

Because what if he never seen her again? And what if she forgot all about him? What if she got her a nice job, found her a prick of a husband who would marry her and give her children? Would she be a stay at home mother? Would she have that big white house, the white picket fence, two dogs, two or three children that weren't his? Would she have the perfect family? Would she move somewhere else, only come back here so her children could see their grandmother and great grandfather? Would they take family pictures five times every year, would they eat dinner on Sunday like the perfect family, too? Would her husband treat her right and own up to all his vows? In sickness and in death? Would he be able to make her shiver like he could, to make her scream like he could? Or maybe he'd be even better. Maybe he would never hurt her or make her cry. Or maybe he'd cheat on her. Make her scream and make her cry and make her kids cry, too. What kind of job would she have, and who would take care of her? Would her and Kikyo ever speak again? Or would Sango be her kid's godmother? And Miroku the godfather? Would Souta be the perfect uncle? Would she make her mother proud?

But what if he was the only one right for her? And what if nothing worked out, what if she was even more upset at him for leaving again, and would she ever be able to forgive him? Would she wake up everyday and look at herself in the mirror and deep inside her heart know that he still loved her? Or maybe he could try to move on, but never forget her. And he hoped that she'd never forget him either when he was over 6,000 miles away.

And by the way, where _was _Miroku?

Kagome nodded, her smile betraying her eyes. She took a deep breath, and then she kissed him again. "Okay."

He didn't let her pull away until he was ready. "I'll come back soon, swear."

Another tear fell down her cheek and he wiped away, his gut tightening even more. She nodded, pressing her lips against his temple. "Okay."

**XXXXX**

**A/N: Ermmm, hi guys, don't hate me. I think it's been months and months since I updated?**

**Yeah. But I'm SOOOOO sorry! School has been hard, this being my junior year and all. I know I completely suck for not updating in forever but I hardly have time for anything anymore, I wish I was young again.**

**I know I always say I'll start updating more and you'll hear from me again soon. Eh, I honestly don't know. But I DO know that I've picked up interest in writing again. So I most likely will. And Thanksgiving break is coming up soon, so what better time to finish this story for good?**

**I hope you enjoyed. Review, tell me what you think and what you want to happen. Thanks for all the support, and please remember, you guys, I'm trying my best. I have a job, trying to keep my grades up, I'm taking certified nursing classes too, I'm in honors and everything, plus holidays are coming up. So it's not very easy. But I made a promise to myself that I'd finish everything I started. And I'm stubborn and I keep my promises most of the time. **

**But yeah, anyway, tell me what you think. I love hearing what everyone has to say. Until next time, you guys. Thank you all so much!**


	17. In With the New

He didn't think he would miss anyone more than he would miss her. He knew that now as he watched her sleep, her hair all in her face, a bit of drool pooling out the corner of her mouth. He knew it wasn't a good idea, her staying with him all day until it was time to catch that plane. But what else was he supposed to do? He never realized how dependent he'd became on her in these few months they'd spent together. He hadn't realized that he actually _liked _the silly arguments. He liked fucking her, making love to her. He liked kissing just to be kissing, he liked watching cartoons with her, he liked her making him breakfast. He liked _the real her_, and if there was nothing good that came out of this whole thing, he was happy that he knew that real side of her.

She was obviously still tired from their activities last night. After the angry sex, they'd made love twice again. It was nice. He shifted to get a better look at her. She had to wake up sooner or later. He snorted to himself. Humans were weak, always so tired.

Her whole back was exposed, the blanket barely covering her. What could he say? The girl slept wild, and the sex was wild, too. But he needed her to wake up, he _wanted _her to wake up. There was so much more they had to do today. Not just the sex, but since Miroku never showed, she promised to help him pack up some more things, and help him get together what he needed before his flight.

And he knew that she wasn't okay with it. She didn't like talking about it. She'd brush it off, or say that it was his choice and he wasn't a boy, but he was a man who could make his own decisions, and that she just wanted him to do what she thought was best for him. So no, she wasn't okay with him leaving. And as much as he'd tried to explain it, giving her all kinds of reasons, she still pushed it away.

It wasn't like he hadn't thought of her leaving with him, but it wracked his nerves, like, a whole lot to even think about asking her something like that. Because first of all, she had a life here. She had friends, family, and he knew if she tried hard enough, she could find work, too. That was something else he felt guilty about—firing her. But it wasn't like she couldn't do better…and he hadn't meant to. He didn't even want to think about leaving or settling down in a new place. Things would feel strange without her. He didn't like thinking about it. His chest would tighten and it would be hard to breathe and his eyes would get watery, just a little. Even thinking of life without her seemed almost impossible.

That's why he came up with a great plan to wake her up—and she needed to wake up, anyway. They had this whole day to spend together and he'd be damned if they wasted a second of it due to her being 'tired.'

It seemed kinda gross to kiss her, especially with all the drool pooling out the corner of her mouth, and kissing her neck wouldn't give him the surprised expression he wanted to see. He wanted her to wake up _screaming_.

So he did just that when he dipped his head under the covers that were covering her lower half and spread her legs as gently as he could, trying not to wake her now. Mouth already watering and his arousal spiking, his mind hazy and foggy—

And then there came that little moan. He felt her buck against him unconsciously. He took his time, gently pulling her lips apart and finding her clit, and then he moved away, back down to her inner thigh, his tongue running along the smooth skin while she continued to mumble things in her sleep, hips still bucking gently towards him. And that was beautiful, he thought.

He spread her lips apart with his tongue, this time, running it up and down along her clit, pushing her legs further apart. She was about the best thing he'd ever tasted, no doubt in that. He could do this to her again and again just to listen to the sounds she made and taste her all over again and never get tired of it.

He was tongue-fucking her now, and he waited for it…waited, waited, waited, and smirked when he heard it. His eyes met hers, realizing she'd sat up in a hurry, and he never stopped what he was doing. She screamed, really screamed loud enough for everyone to hear her, loud enough to wake anyone up, and he took pride in that. Immediately her hands tangled in his hair, tugging at it, pulling at it, pressing it there and there.

"_Fuck_," it rolled off her tongue easily, and she was immediately completely awake. She gripped his hair tighter, and he was surprised that he hadn't gone bald now as long as he'd been fucking her. She rocked her hips up against his face, her head falling back and her hands moving everywhere—over her breasts, down her body, back into his head, before settling on gripping the sheets so hard her knuckles turned white. "_Ahhh, Inuyasha_. _Fuck yesss_." She hissed that last part out and he groaned, finding that as the sexiest sound she'd ever made.

He made his lips into an 'o', sucking at her clit and making her cry out. He watched her twisted expression, and he was so hard that he could've came then and there. He sucked gently, watching her facial expression and figuring it was okay—he began sucking harder until all she could do was call out his name over and over again. He growled against her, making her shudder.

He decided that this position was getting pretty boring. In one quick movement, he was gripping her ass and pulling her down by her thighs, turning over on his back and then jerking her upwards so that she was riding his face.

She cried out, her head tossed back and her whole body shaking as he reached behind, slipping two fingers inside of her while he continued to lick and suck at her sensitive bud. His fingers were slow and teasing at first—and then he was growling against her pussy, making her come down on his face harder, finger fucking her faster and faster.

Her whole body trembled and she wept as she came, her heart beating so fast he could almost hear it.

He smirked at her as she climbed off of him, still trembling. It took her a while to recover, but when she did, he figured that she'd be mad because he knew she had wanted to sleep a bit later. He also knew she wasn't a morning person.

Her words were shaky as she spoke. "That was…that was—_fuck_, that was amazing, Inuyasha," she muttered, pressing her lips against his temple, then his cheek, then his nose and on to his lips. And then he sensed her sadness again. "Why do you have to leave? Why can't you—" she paused, almost getting choked on her own words. He knew it had been coming sooner or later, though. The begging. The pleading. "Why can't you stay? You could stay here and work with your father. And I know he'd be much happier, and so would your mother…and that way you can see Rin's baby when it's born, and Mama would really miss you just like Souta would. You could stay here. You don't have to go. You could stay here with _me _and—"

He kissed her gently, shutting her up. She groaned, tasting herself on his lips and he made everything all better for a little while. "I'm doing what's best for everyone else and I'm putting you first, silly girl. You're better off—"

He smelled the saltiness of her tears and she immediately pulled away from him, standing up. "_Don't _say that again. You're an _idiot_ and I am nowhere near better off without you here! That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!"

He knew she didn't understand, and he knew she was pissed. That was the problem. He couldn't keep her happy. Always seemed to piss her off or hurt her or make her cry—and he didn't want to do that today. He wanted to spend his last day with her in peace. So before she could walk away he grabbed her arm and pulled her close to him. "Don't do that, Kagome. Don't make something out of nothing."

"But it's _not _just nothing…you're leaving again, Inuyasha, and I—"

He kissed her again. "I love you, too."

He kissed her some more, smiling against her lips as she kissed him back. She hadn't stopped crying, but at least she wasn't angry, right? "If you loved me too then you wouldn't leave." She said that brokenly, her voice torn. She leaned her head against his chest, and he gulped.

"You understand more than anyone else, Kagome—"

"No, I don't," she said, pulling away. "You're giving up on me and running away. Even if you don't see that, it's technically what you're doing," she wiped away a tear. "You say it's because you're tired of hurting me, but I'd rather have you hurt me a million times to my face than to just leave for good. That hurts more than anything. Because who's going to argue with me over stupid shit, and who else can I annoy to no end? And who else will be able to wake me up in the mornings like that? You suck, Takahashi. And you're lucky I do love you. I love you enough to let you leave anyway because that's what you want to do and I can't tell you where to go or where to stay or what to do with your life. But I hope you learn from it. Running away won't make it any better—"

She'd ran away before, too, but he knew if he got into it, it would start another argument and he wasn't ready for an argument. Not now, and not at all. "I'm not running away, stupid," he muttered, though he wasn't really sure. Was he? "I'm doing what's best for you…" he trailed off. "I'm doing what's best for the both of us."

She nodded dumbly. "And you think this is?" she emphasized, pointing to him and then to herself. He knew what she meant. Spending the whole day together. Fucking all day. Her helping him pack. He understood.

"We don't have to," he told her quietly.

She shook her head and moved closer to him. "Baka," she whispered. "Of course I do. I love you, Inuyasha. I wouldn't want to spend the day with anyone else."

Then why couldn't she just stop complaining? And why did goodbyes always have to be so uneasy and difficult? It was goodbye, not badbye, wasn't it? And that's exactly what he wanted this to be, 'good'bye, at least until he came back to see her again. Did she not believe he would? Well, of course he would, whether she would be over him or not. He loved her, too, and he knew this was going to work out, it had to.

She rested against him for a while longer, and when she spoke, she seemed tired like she had almost given up. "I'm gonna go take a shower. Start getting some more of your stuff together and when I'm finished, I'll help."

He craned his neck, watching her backside as she walked away.

Yeah, it wasn't like he wasn't going to miss her. Dumb wench. It wasn't like she was the only one who was hurting.

Love hurt, anyway. And maybe he was running away…but he certainly wasn't giving up.

**XXXXX**

"So…we're having a…a…a baby?" Miroku asked once again.

"For fuck's sake, yesss, Miroku," Sango hissed. "We're having a baby. Three different brands of pregnancy tests and all of them were positive. It explains the throwing up at odd hours of the morning and it also explains me being a bitch. And you're making me a bitch right now."

Miroku smiled for the first time since receiving the news, passing out, waking up, and receiving it again. "We're going to have a baby. I'm going to be a daddy."

Sango drew her fist and growled, ready to knock him out of his chair but he held her hand and kissed it, then kissed her. Suddenly, she wasn't standing on her own two feet, but she was off of them, being spun around in the air with his arms tight around her still skinny waist.

"We're having a baby!" he sang, swinging her around some more. "We're having a damn baby!"

Was he more excited than she had been? Well, yeah, of course. When she found out, she'd felt like murdering him. Kids? _Ew_. But after a while, it didn't seem like such a bad idea. It actually seemed kind of…fun. And there was a sense of responsibility, too, and she'd felt as if her body wasn't her own anymore, but more like she was sharing it with someone else. And she was. Then, she decided that together, they'd be great parents who we're going to have a beautiful baby.

"Let me down, Miroku! I'll get my morning sickness all over you, I swear!" she screamed.

"We're having a _baby_!" he continued to sing.

She still hadn't stopped spinning. This was kind of…_funny_. And he was happy, wasn't that good? After all, he was the one always going around asking women to bear his children, and well, now, they were finally having one of their own.

She broke out into a smile.

"We're having a _baby_!" she sang with him, giggling all the while.

**XXXXX**

He growled.

Why had he been stupid enough to think that he'd get anything done with her around?

They'd only made it to packing two more boxes before both of them somehow ended up on the couch, fumbling and fooling around, his face between her legs again. And then, little Inuyasha Jr. between her legs.

"Fuck," she panted, backing her ass hard into him as he thrust against her. "_Oh, fuck yes, Yasha. _Right there."

Well, first of all, it was an accident. They had decided to take a little break, get something to drink. She was tired and out of breath from stacking boxes up, handling all his clothes, running back and forth from here and there, trying to get this and that together. She was the one who had offered him to take a break, too, even though he didn't need one. Keh. Humans were weak and fragile, always tired or dying or annoying and emotional.

Well, it was kind of cold. It was getting chilly outside, winter beginning to take it's course. And even though he never got cold and was actually kind of annoyed when she mentioned that she was, he let her throw a blanket across both of them, anyway. She had been flipping through the channels on the T.V when one particular station had caught her attention. Oh, the irony.

He had been rolling his eyes in annoyance as she laughed and teased about him actually subscribing to the channel. And then, she came up with the craziest idea when he tried to snatch the remote from her. She suggested they watch it together, a wild look in her eyes and a smirk on her pretty lips.

Of course he declined. It was embarrassing enough that she had figured that out—but no, to make matters worse, she wanted to _watch _it with him? He wasn't going to let that happen. And plus, they didn't have enough time. Her offer would have been pretty enticing if she hadn't embarrassed him and teased him so and if they didn't have a bunch of other shit to get done today.

Anyway, the wench got mad, which was nothing out of the ordinary, and wouldn't give him the remote back. Now, he could've easily held her down and got it back, which he did, but she had gotten pretty good at fighting him back and anticipating his next move, because he couldn't get it back at all at first.

Just as he snatched it back, he felt her hand slip into his baggy sweatpants and he froze. And then she pulled him down to kiss her while jerking him as best as she could without the clothing being too much of a hindrance. And obviously, it wasn't _that _much of an obstacle.

It wasn't so bad, wasting time with her. Plus, she had gotten on her knees for him right there, mirroring what the couple on television was doing. And then her head was bobbing up and down, his fingers tight in her smooth, silky hair and jerking her head forward and forward, roughly pulling at her strands and pulsing his hips, thrusting against her face. She looked up at him with wide doe eyes, her cheeks flushed and hollowed out. She rubbed his length along her face, over her mouth, her tongue moving along the underside of his thick cock before she sucked the head as hard as she could. "Cum for me, baby. C'mon."

She said it so sweetly, so who was he to resist?

She was good at what she done, so just for it, he paid her back tenfold. Once, when his face was buried between her thighs again, and now as he pounded in and out of her from behind. Stupid wench. They weren't even paying attention to the couple on television now. Why had she wanted to watch that crap, anyway? It was nothing compared to when he fucked her.

He growled in her ear, smacking her hard on the ass just the way she liked it, just so she would cry out for him like the good girl she was. "You gonna cum for me? C'mon, 'Gome, scream for me. Scream so the whole world can know who's fucking you this good!" He pulled her hair back roughly, his hips rotating for a split second and making her _almost _scream.

"Ah, _yes_. _Fuck yes! INUYASHA!_" She screamed for him _finally_, making him smirk in fulfillment.

She continued to thrust back against him, eager to let him get his release, too. "You cum for me," she muttered, looking back at him to shoot him a weak smile. He growled, his body tensing and his hips contracting, and then he did exactly as she told him to do, filling her up to the brim and making her cry out his name weakly again.

He wrapped his arms around her, kissing her gently.

No matter how far he went, she would _always _be his and that was for sure. No one else could fuck her like he could or love her like he could, and he wouldn't let it happen, either. _Ever_.

**XXXXX**

Her happiness was very, very short lived, especially since Miroku was irking her nerves.

He looked in fascination at the baby book. They were home now, and she was lying down on the bed with him beside of her, his brain probably nowhere near big enough to comprehend all the book was saying.

"Did you know that your boobs will get all big and swell up with milk—" she cut him off by snatching the book away from him, hitting him in the head with it. He groaned in pain and she smiled in sweet satisfaction and victory.

She looked at the book in consideration, frowning. "Maybe we shouldn't have gotten the book this early. It kind of freaks me out."

Miroku snorted. "Oh, it freaks you out?" he leaned back against the headboard, his legs tangled with hers. "I'm a man, Sango. I know nothing about this, and frankly, I don't think I'm supposed to know all of…_this_. But, I'm willing to learn if you want…and not freak out so much."

She giggled, resting against him and tossing the book aside. "Do you think it'll be a boy or girl? We've never really talked about this, you know. Oh, and that reminds me. I need to set an appointment to get checked out, make sure everything's okay."

He looked at her bewildered. "You haven't gone yet?"

She rolled her eyes, fighting back the urge to hit him again. "'Course not. I found out the day right before I told you."

Miroku panicked. "Who else have you told? Does Kagome know? Does Inuyasha—fuck…I forgot all about him!"

She looked at him confused. "You're the first person I told. No one else knows. Not even Kagome, but ah, thanks for reminding me. It's gossip time."

He stood then, pulling on his shoes and his jacket. "Wait, where are you going?"

He knew better than to tell her it was a secret. And besides, he wasn't even really sure whether Inuyasha moving was supposed to be kept a secret or not. It's not like it would be a big surprise. Everyone knew that he hadn't planned on staying for more than a couple of months. The guy liked to move a lot.

"I have to help Inuyasha pack. I forgot," he told her simply. "And I really don't know whether it's supposed to be a secret or not, so don't freak out and tell Kagome or anyone else, please."

She stood, bewilderment on her face this time. "He's moving?"

He nodded simply, suddenly feeling as if he was in big trouble.

"But he can't do that!" Sango exclaimed. "Oh, wow, that's a dick move. He's running away again? I don't care if he planned on it or not—he shouldn't have got involved with Kagome in the first place if he _was _planning on it, which I'm pretty sure he was. And think of what she's gonna have to go through again! I bet she doesn't even know, does she?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. But look, we said we weren't going to get involved in their business anymore, Sango. They're grown, and they should be mature enough to make their own decisions and know exactly what they're doing. They're not kids anymore, and yeah, it is a bit of a dick move if she had no clue about it…but you know how he is and that's how he'll always be. There's nothing we can do," he stepped forward and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "And besides, we've got our own to worry about." He rested a hand on her flat stomach.

She nodded. "Miroku?"

"Yes?" he planted a kiss on her cheek lightly.

"He's your best friend," she said carefully. "Don't let him do something stupid…or something he'll regret."

He sighed. "I'll be back as soon as I can. I promise. Call and make an appointment, and then get some rest. I'll be home soon."

**XXXXX**

He knew the whole thing hadn't been a good idea from the start.

He had to leave by eight, and that gave him just four more hours to spend with her, just four. And already, he didn't want to go. No, he wanted to stay there with her just the way they were now, their bodies sated and warm against the other's, with her laying on her belly naked, one hand propped up to lean on as she watched the movie play before her eyes.

This whole thing was dumb. _Extremely_ dumb. There was no way she'd fly all the way to France with him, leaving her family and friends behind. These were the people she was used to, and this was the place she'd grown up in. She couldn't just leave everything behind for him…and that flight was already made, ticket already paid for, clothes and everything else he was taking with him packed. And it sucked, it sucked so much that he wouldn't be near her. At least not for a long, long time.

He'd made it clear to her, over and over again throughout the whole day, that he wasn't running away because he was scared to work things out. He didn't say he was leaving because he thought they weren't good for each other, either…but she had grown up. He knew she didn't completely understand, because, fuck, he could barely understand it himself, but she was accepting it. She was dealing with it.

And she'd made this day amazing. This was the real her. The woman who was so focused on the cartoon that was playing before her eyes. The one who sung in the shower, who liked to kiss him on his forehead. She was clumsy, she was determined, and she knew how to smile when she was sad and all those things were very important.

And he really loved her. And she loved him _too_, half breed and all.

The fact that things were going so well with them today made him want to cancel everything and just stay here, be with her. Marry her, even. Give her children. But even if things were going well, that didn't change the fact that maybe he could mess them up sooner or later. And he knew he would eventually. He didn't want that. He wanted her to do better so she could be better off without him.

He knew she loved him just as much. Otherwise, she wouldn't have stayed and spent all day with him in this boring apartment, helped him pack all his boring things despite how bad she didn't want him to go.

"You sure you're okay?" he asked her almost nervously, his hand touching her bare shoulder.

She nodded, promptly turning the television off and rolling over on her back exhaustedly. "I'm pretty tired," she smirked up at him. "But not too much. Another round would always be nice, just before you have to—you know, really start getting ready to leave and stuff."

She sat up and crawled over to him, making herself at home in his arms. She kissed him, her hands tangling in his hair and he growled. She had to be perfect for him because she never got tired of having him over and over again. But he knew she wasn't okay, he could sense it. She was in turmoil, hiding what she was really feeling.

He broke away, his forehead against hers. "We've got time, wench," he chuckled. "But I wanna talk to you."

"Hmm…" she mumbled, her teeth nipping at his neck and her hand running up and down his bare chest, coming dangerously close to his arousal.

"Seriously, 'Gome," he moaned low and deep as she pushed him back, climbing atop of him. "Stop."

She looked hurt for a second before she replaced it with a nonchalant look. "You're sure you wanna talk right now?"

And when she grinded against him for a second, he knew something was wrong with her for sure then.

He growled, sitting up and pulling her into his arms once again. "Stop that," he growled. "Stop. You're acting like the old Kagome, always trying to fuck her feelings away just because you don't want to deal with them. I wanna talk to you because I don't want you upset."

She looked at him, anger flashing in her eyes. "Am I not supposed to be upset? How else should I feel? You're running away. You're saying that you're not but you _are_, and I'm acting like the old me because I'd rather spend the time I have left with you fucking you instead of crying and begging you? You won't stay no matter what I have to say about it, so what else am I supposed to do? Is that what you want me to do? Cry and beg? I don't want to be that weak in front of you."

He rolled his eyes. "Don't put words into my mouth, wench. No one asked you to cry or beg for me to stay. That's not what I was expecting."

He sighed. What was he even supposed to say?

"Maybe this wasn't the best idea we've had."

She shook her head angrily, tears swelling in her eyes. "No, don't say that. Don't make it seem like it's my fault and don't make it seem like this was the stupidest idea ever. I loved spending all day not arguing, not talking about every single place we went wrong. It's nice not talking about it. It makes me feel like crap when we do, because I feel like maybe if you did stay, we could fix something or work something out. So don't even go there. I don't wanna talk."

She leaned against his chest, her tears seeping into his skin. He sighed. Fuck, he hadn't meant to make her cry again. "All I'm saying is that it's making it harder."

She pushed away again, looking at him as if he was the dumbest person in the world. "You know, it wouldn't have to be hard at all if you just _stayed_. I mean, you have your family here, too. Your parents, your brother, your sister-in-law, Mama, Souta, and _me_. This is where you grew up, Inuyasha. You grew up right here in this town with me, and I don't get it. I know you hurt me and I know I hurt you and maybe I'm not completely over it, but we could work on it. And if you really wanted me, if you really loved me, you'd want to work on it. You wouldn't even be able to think about leaving me."

He ran a hand through his hair. "So you're saying I don't love you."

"No, Inuyasha—" she started, only to be cut off.

"I'm going to take a shower."

"Inuyasha, stop…"

"I shouldn't have brought it up," he told her softly before walking away, giving her a peck on the lips. "I'm sorry."

He was gone before she could say anything else. Annoyed, she followed behind him.

She put a hand on her hip. "I didn't mean it like that."

He nodded, grabbing a towel out of the cupboard and starting the shower, easily stepping in. She stepped in along with him, her hand trailing up to touch his cheek. She kissed him tenderly, her hands circling around his neck as the hot water poured over their naked bodies.

"I'm sorry," she said against his mouth. "We can talk about it if you want. You're right. I know you love me…I do. I've lived without you before, but it's different this time. I've really got you. I don't wanna lose you anymore."

It wasn't like he wanted to lose her, either. Stupid wench. Always assuming whether he loved her or not, always thinking she knew what was best. And maybe that's why they weren't good for each other. He knew he was selfish. But hell, she had been the one to _agree_ to spend this last day with him. Shouldn't she have felt loved? He wasn't spending this day with his family, with his friends, or at his job—he was spending it with _her_. If that wasn't another way to prove he loved her then he didn't know what was.

And obviously, she was sorry. Because she was on her knees in front of him again, the water leaving her hair soaking wet and all in her eyes, but she simply brushed it back and gave him one last look of regret before she wrapped her hand around his member, which hadn't been able to stay down all day with her around, by the way, and stroked him before wrapping her lips around him, taking all of him into her mouth.

He grunted, beginning to rock his hips against her mouth and tangle his fingers in her wet hair.

He had lost track of how many times she'd made him cum today or how many times he'd made her cum, but last time he checked, he was winning. So that meant he was going to make her cum first.

He let her continue on anyway, his head falling back against the back of the shower door, his breath coming in uneven pants as she continued to lick and suck at him, her tongue moving everywhere, her hands cupping and playing with his heavy balls. He watched mesmerized as he caught side of the trail of saliva when she pulled back to move her hand along his length once more, jerking him slowly and teasingly.

Growling and suddenly getting annoyed, he didn't care about making her come first anymore. All he wanted to do was come himself. He tried to shove her head back up against his groin, but she wouldn't budge. She looked up at him, a smirk on her full lips. Her tongue tentatively brushed along the head before snaking it's way back into her filthy little mouth, and he groaned once more, trying not to let her get the best of him.

"Come on, Kagome," he growled and gritted through his teeth. "Enough with your little fucking games."

She smiled, her tongue brushing along the underside before moving her hand slowly along his length. "You know, you're so impatient."

Annoyed, he reached for her head again, but she wouldn't move. "All you have to do is ask nicely, baby. Now, what can I do for you?"

He wanted to bang his head back against the shower door. And then he wanted to bang her some more until _she _was the one begging. "You know exactly what I want you to do, 'Gome," he growled again as he felt her nuzzle her nose into his balls before massaging them gently with her hands. Obviously, she was very turned on by this because when he looked down at her again, her moan filled his ears and she had one hand between her legs, the other one rubbing his length. He was pretty sure he almost lost it then, moving his hips against her hand and moaning her name quietly and desperately. God, she was so hot. He licked his lips, wanting to take care of that for her. "Please, 'Gome," he said, 'please' leaving a sour taste on his tongue but it wasn't like it mattered anymore. "Please."

Her sweet moan filled his ears again, and then she was rubbing him all across her face, his head massaging her lips but never going in her mouth. He thrust against her then and there, filling her mouth once more and groaning, his gut tightening due to his need for release. And then she was suckling him, whimpering around his cock all the while, her hand still moving rapidly between her thighs.

He jerked her up as fast as he could, turning her around so that she slammed up against the shower door. She moaned when she felt his length against that spot that was throbbing between her legs. She wanted to come so badly right then and there. He lifted one leg up, wrapping it as tight and secure around his waist to keep it from slipping due to the water.

Rubbing the head of his cock against her folds and her clit, he felt her quiver underneath him and knew she was close. She choked back what sounded almost like a sob before wrapping her arms tight around his neck. He squeezed her ass, groaning as he rubbed up against her. "Tell me what _you _want, baby," he muttered, gasping as he slipped the head of his cock into her only to pull right back out. She whimpered, her nails digging into his shoulder blades as she held on tight to him, her whole body shaking despite the warm water that rained down on them.

"Don't be a fucking tease," she pressed her lips against his, pulling his bottom lip with her teeth as she pulled away. "You want this just—" she moaned as he slipped in and pulled right back out. "…just as badly as I do."

She kissed him roughly once more, and with that, he shoved into her, making her scream into his mouth, his pace already set fast and animalistic. She moaned, her sharp nails digging deeper into his shoulder blades, across his back until the water was red, red, red with blood, until his shoulders and whole back stung, till the drops of water falling against him made him cringe in pain and pleasure.

"_Ahahh, f-fuck_," she said incoherently, her mind a hazy fog and her head all the way back against the shower door as he pounded in and out of her relentlessly, hitting her spot over and over again until she couldn't take anymore. She buried her head into his shoulder, her wet hair all in her eyes and down her back and screamed, biting into his skin unconsciously, tasting his blood in her mouth.

"You like it?" he whispered sweetly in her ear, his grip on her leg tightening considerably as she seemed to go a little limp from the hard orgasm he'd just made her have. "Tell me how much you're going to miss me fucking you! Tell me how bad you want it! You wanna cum again? Work for it, baby."

"_Yasha,_" she panted into his ear, her nails now digging into his arms. She thrust her hips up to meet his as much as she could despite how exhausted she was.

Before she knew it she was being hauled up by both of his hands, and she wrapped her legs tight around his waist, the water making it slippery and difficult. She cried out, the position gave him deeper penetration. She'd never felt such warmth or safety or security, and every single time they made love it amazed her how one person could provide such little things.

She couldn't speak. She couldn't do much of anything besides moan into his mouth, scream into his skin, and ride her orgasms out before another one after another one hit her, making her explode, making her feel so much pleasure that it almost hurt. She ran her hands through his wet hair, her mind wondering to how she would survive without him.

And it wasn't just the sex. It was so much more than that. It was spending the whole day with him. Putting her feet across his legs and watching lame, sappy romance movies with him. It was laying around with no makeup on and feeling like she didn't have to do anything at all to impress him. It was them basking in the afterglow of their sex, panting and bodies shaking and eyes sparkling. It was the way she leaned against his chest whenever possible, just to listen to his heartbeat.

She came again, and then she was sobbing. Sobbing like a big baby, and she swore she heard his voice breaking too as he spoke. "I love you."

And he said that over and over again. "I'm going to miss you more than I've ever missed anyone."

**XXXXX**

He lay next to her, debating on whether or not to get up and get dressed. It was two hours later and he still hadn't moved to get any of the remainder of his shit together, and she hadn't moved, either.

Neither of them said a word. She lay there, her scent still covered in tears and sadness, tracing 'I love you's' into his back, kissing his skin, kissing over the scars she'd left down his shoulders and down his back. She didn't feel the need to apologize for them, though.

"I meant what I said about missing you the most," he told her just so she wouldn't start thinking something crazy. "I really am going to miss you."

She was quiet, still, but he could smell fresh tears rising. After all, how much more time did they have left? A little over two hours? He really had to get a move on. And he was surprised she hadn't fallen asleep yet. She was tired, he could tell, but she was fighting it.

"We never got to talk," he said again, a frown playing on his lips. Still, no response. So he flipped over to see tears streaming down her cheeks, but her face giving nothing at all away. He kissed the tears away. "I do love you. You've got to believe me when I tell you that. But I can't stay. I don't want to. And won't it make us stronger…or something? I don't know. But look, it's not easy for me, either."

She sniffled, sitting up to look at him. "Why didn't you ask me to go, too? Maybe I needed a change. Maybe I wanted to get away, too, Inuyasha. That's not fair."

He brushed her slightly damp her out of her face. She was pouting, her lower lip quivering. "You've got Sango and Miroku here. And everyone knows Rin's going to need someone to help with that baby. Someone's got to help your mother with Souta, and help your Jii-Chan clean up around the shrine. He's going to need someone to listen to his tales about the Feudal Era. And what about your cat at home…what was his name? Buyo. Yeah. He'll need someone to help him exercise and go on walks with him," he laughed when he seen her crack a smile. "Mmm…Souta's going to need someone at his soccer games. And he'll need your advice when he finally finds a girlfriend. Rin will want you to be a godmother. She'll probably want your opinion on baby names. And Sessh…he'll really appreciate your help—he always does. And there are so many opportunities around this place. And so many people willing to help you out and always be by your side. You belong here, silly girl."

She wiped her tears away and smiled, kissing him. "Stay."

He sighed. "We talked about this, Kagome—"

"Stay until tomorrow morning, then. C'mon. Just catch the morning flight and it'll be okay. I know you wanted to be there at a precise time or whatever…but fuck time. You can be late. You won't have to start work right away and they'll know that you need time to settle in. Just stay with me tonight. I don't want to wake up and you're just gone for good, Inuyasha."

"Kagome—"

He smelt fresh tears again, felt her kissing his neck sweetly. He inhaled her scent. She smelled different, a mix between him and her and he liked it better that way, although it was kind of strange. He could get used to it, and that was bad, so when he was about to say no, she sensed that and she pressed her lips against his pleadingly.

"Please. I won't ask for anything else. Just stay for tonight."

He nodded, kissing her back deeply.

And then there was a knock on the door just when he thought he'd have a moment of peace. Agitated, he pulled on a pair of boxers and watched as Kagome pulled on one of his old t-shirts, obviously about to come with him, even though he wasn't sure it was a good idea.

There was another prompt knock on the door, and he swung it open, mad and about to tell whoever it was to scat because this was time that was only to be spent with Kagome. But there behind the door stood Miroku, a shocked look on his face.

"I…uh…sorry!" Inuyasha growled when he noticed his best friend's eyes trail down to Kagome's legs. "I…um…I didn't expect you two to be made up this soon. Or be this _close _considering what happened, or what's about to happen, right, Inuyasha?"

He knew that look. That was the 'you're only going to hurt her more,' look.

"She already knows, Miroku," he said exasperatedly. "We're fine. _She's _fine," he shot Kagome a look. "My stuff is already packed. She helped earlier, since you obviously forgot."

"Shouldn't you be dressed by now?" Miroku asked curiously, and Inuyasha knew what he was implying. He rolled his eyes.

"Changed it till the morning. I wanna spend more time with her, and with that being said, goodnight, lech."

The door was slammed shut in his face in an instant, and Kagome giggled, pulling him into a searing kiss. "Thank you."

"What is it, wench?"

She looked up at him. "Thank you for at least deciding to stay until the morning. It's not big to you but it means a lot to me."

She kissed him again, her arms wrapping around his neck and her hands tangling into his hair. How could he possibly live without her? It was the first time he hadn't been sure about something.

He would definitely miss her more than he missed anyone or anything else. He missed her already. He missed her even when she fell asleep next to him. He would miss her so bad he'd feel it in his bones.

And he wasn't so sure if either of them were strong enough for that.

**A/N: Review? Hopefully I'll get back to you all soon.**


	18. Baby Talk

She didn't sleep at all that night.

Her stomach was turning and she felt like she'd have to get up and puke her guts out at any second. What would happen when he disappeared? Where would she go? Into pieces, into tiny particles, into atoms? Or into the arms of another man? In these last few months, she'd built her world up around him. She'd miss him so bad she would be able to feel it in her bones—and maybe grief would start to make it's home in her senses, in her heart. She'd taste him in her tears. He'd be in her bathwater, in her cup of tea or coffee. If she could, she'd take him and inject him in her blood, keep her heart pumping fast, keep it from breaking.

It was 4 in the morning and she was hovering over the toilet, her throat burning as she heaved and heaved again, tried to keep her inky, black hair back.

She felt him in her bones already and he was still there, still sleeping.

Instead of breaking down, she figured she should already be working on stitching herself back up. But it wasn't fair. Kagome knew they could be something. She knew they could be together, so what did he have to leave for?

Would he find someone prettier than her, someone who loved him more than she did? And what would her name be? She was so angry, so fucking angry and she didn't know why. She didn't want him to love anyone else besides her. She wanted him to _stay_. She scooted beside him again, her hand running patterns across her back. It was 4 in the morning. She needed sleep. She wanted to be right there with him when he left—and maybe, just maybe, she could convince him to stay. Maybe he loved her _that _much.

Sleep.

_Sleep_.

She closed her eyes and took deep breaths, in and out. She counted fluffy sheep.

Her stomach turned and then she was in the bathroom, heaving her guts out over the toilet once again, puke in her hair this time. She heard him behind her, felt him kneel down and pull her hair back for her, pat her back.

It was never enough, love was _never _enough.

She was crying, then. Sobbing. He pulled her into him, puke and all.

"You know I'll be back. You know that I love you." She didn't think she'd ever heard him speak so gently and she felt honored until she thought of him speaking to someone else like that, one of those French whores. One of those tall, blonde girls. Long legs and red lip stick and fashion shows. Skinny. Eyes bluer than hers and shinier hair.

It wasn't fair, she couldn't disappear like he was. Nobody would ever be able to break her heart like this again.

"Just stay," she muttered between hiccups. She ended up heaving again, and then he'd brought her an aspirin and a cold towel. Her back was against the wall, his, too, and his hand on her bare thigh. Her head against his chest, his heartbeat almost matching hers. "We could work, you know. Take couple's counseling or something. We could really talk about the past and I swear I'd never leave again because I would know for sure that you love me and I love you. I would never hurt you again, Inuyasha. I would never want to. But you're hurting _me_."

He shook his head. "I don't want to hurt you again."

She sighed. "But you _won't_."

He stared at her for a long time, and she knew she must have looked ridiculously ill. "You're still broken."

She stood, shaking her head. She was kind of dizzy, kind of nauseous still, but she'd get over it. "And you're breaking me now. I wouldn't be this bad off if you'd just stay. We could work on everything and go over the whole past."

He followed behind her closely, watching her every move. "You need to sit down. You're all wobbly. Are you sure you're okay?"

He wasn't trying to change the subject. He'd loved to stay with her. He'd love to fix what he'd broken, but he couldn't, and it was obvious by now. Neither of them was going to get any better until they knew who they were without the other. She wasn't going to get any better until she had the strength to get over the past. It wouldn't work, it wasn't that easy.

"I'm fine," she said quietly, sitting on the edge of the bed, her ridiculously short nightgown hiking up and making him ready for another round with her. But that wasn't what neither of them needed right now. He wanted to hold her. Not fuck or have sex or even make love; he just wanted to _hold _her.

He watched her, a smile forming on his lips. She was pulling her now clean hair up into a messy bun now, her blue eyes bright and a little bloodshot, bags under her eyes, fidgeting around and pulling her nightgown down.

He kissed her. Pulled her on top of him and kissed her some more, making her moan low. Her hands started for his boxers, and her face fell when he pried her hands off.

He kissed her again. "Just let me hold you for a few."

She nodded, sort of suspicious, but she lay against him anyway. She tossed one leg over his while he pulled her closer, and she kissed his chest for a second, the sound of his heart speeding and then slowing, the sound of him taking sharp breaths and then slow ones intriguing her. And then, she lay completely still while he smoothed his hand over her back.

Her eyes still weren't heavy and she was nauseous again.

"You're getting sick again," he murmured into her ear. "You sure you're okay, wench?"

She nodded. "I just—what am I going to do, Inuyasha?"

He inhaled her scent before he decided to answer her question. Her scent was stronger than it was before—that mix of him and her. His heart sped a little. She wasn't pregnant. She couldn't have been. She was on the shot. Always had been, she'd told him. She wasn't that crazy girl who would purposely try to conceive to make him stay, either. Plus, that shot, whatever the hell it was called, lasted three years, right? She wasn't that irresponsible to forget it just like that. He tossed the thought aside. It would wear away when he was gone. But right now…he liked it. He felt like that should have been her scent every day. No one could claim her. He was all over her.

"Inuyasha?" she asked again, softer. "What are you thinking about? Are you ignoring me?"

He shook his head, let it slip. "What do you think would happen if we had a kid?"

She snorted. "That was out of nowhere."

He rolled his eyes, turning so he could face her, suddenly more serious than ever. "Answer me."

She giggled. "Well…depends on if it was a boy or a girl. Why do you ask?"

"Just in case," he murmured. "What if I do come back…and what if I take you back with me? Would you…you know…even want kids? We never talked about this before."

"Not now," she said quietly. She was starting to get sleepy. "One day, maybe in four or five years. I'd want one when I know I'd be able to support it and give it everything it deserves."

He snickered and she hit him. "It's not funny! I don't get what you're laughing about."

He shook his head, pulling her closer. "It's—it's not. I…I think you'd be a good mother."

She was silent but he felt her smile against his neck.

"Do you…would you have one with me one day? Do you think we could handle that and have all our shit together by then? I mean—we'd probably have to get married first and shit…and we'd have to buy a house and all of that…but maybe we wouldn't have to put our kid through mommy and daddy issues."

She yawned. "Yash, of course. But not until a long, long time. You'd have to come back first…and plus—"

She sat up suddenly.

"What's wrong?"

Fuck. She was screwed.

"Nothing," she said hurriedly. "It's nothing. Just felt like I had to go piss. I don't."

Fuck.

"Liar," he murmured, pulling her back down and pressing his lips against her neck. "Stop being so worried. I'll call everyday…and once I get everything together, maybe I can come visit you. And Christmas will be soon…you can spend it with me."

He said all of this with a grin on his face, and Kagome was horrified. She stood. "Never mind. I have to pee."

She slammed the door shut behind her, leaving a confused Inuyasha standing outside.

**XXXXX**

Morning sickness had to be the worst thing in the world.

She was up at this ungodly time, hovering over the toilet and trying her best to hold her brown locks back with one hand whole she heaved the remainder of her dinner from last night up into the toilet bowl.

She growled when she stood to her feet, flushing the toilet and walking over to the sink to splash cold water over her face.

Miroku walked in behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist.

"Sorry if I woke you," she muttered, turning around to meet his eyes. "I hate to say it, but we're never having another. This morning sickness will be the death of me."

He nodded, kissing her head. "You smell like puke."

She snorted. "And pretty soon I'll be fat, too. I think I'm getting a little bump."

His eyes twinkled. "Maybe it's just a food baby."

He swore he almost seen the steam coming out of her ears. She picked up the first thing she could get her hands on—which was a roll of toilet tissue—and aimed straight between his eyes, making him stumble back.

"Jerk!" she shrieked.

Miroku sighed, rubbing the place between his eyes. He had to stop speaking his mind out loud and start thinking before he spoke, or else Sango and this pregnancy would be the death of him.

She slammed the door behind her and he followed behind her like a lost puppy.

"Sango, dear! I'm sorry! You're not fat, and you always will be beautiful! I love you."

"Fuck you," was the only response he got. Yes, Sango and the pregnancy would be the death of him. How was he going to survive the rest of this pregnancy?

Because, you know, Sango just might not let him live to see his own child.

But he loved her anyway, and she loved him just as much.

**XXXXX**

"Did I do something wrong?"

She'd been in the bathroom for a little over thirty minutes now, and the only sound he heard was her pacing back and forth. The woman hadn't even peed, and she hadn't been sick again.

He slumped against the bathroom door, suddenly worried. Maybe he had crept her out with the whole thing about having kids. Maybe she didn't want kids—_ever_. Maybe she just wanted time to herself because she didn't want him to leave. Well, he already knew she was upset about him leaving. Maybe she was angry.

He just didn't know, but the scent of her worry was radiating off of her in waves.

"Kagome, if it's about the kid thing—"

"It's not!" she shrieked. She came out moments later. "I'm fine."

He stood to his feet. "You're worried and you're not telling me something."

"It's fine, Inuyasha," she hissed, shoving past him. _Ouch_. "I'm not worried. We should get some sleep."

He followed her into the bedroom, beyond confused. "Why are you being such a…a bitch?"

That had slipped out on an accident and he immediately regretted it.

"Well, _thank you _for noticing," she said as she slipped under the covers. "Nice job. I thought you moved on to your big boy words, guess I was wrong."

He sighed, slipping beside her. She wriggled a bit, scooting away from him a little and her worry was kind of making him scrunch his nose. "I didn't mean it like that. You know it. Just…just tell me what's wrong. I know you're upset that I'm leaving but I already told you once I settled in—"

"I already heard you," she said coldly.

Ouch again.

He sighed, grabbing her and pulling her close, his hand running down her thigh. Maybe _that _was what she needed, he figured. But he was wrong when she shrieked and elbowed him in the mouth.

"What the _fuck_, Kagome?" he roared as he shot up, blood already spilling from his busted lip.

She gasped. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!"

She pulled his face close, grabbing a tissue from the night stand and swiping at the blood pouring down from his lip. "I'm sorry," she said again, her voice full of guilt and sympathy. He pulled away from her. "I said I didn't mean it!"

He growled, shaking his head. "Why the fuck are you so jittery and shit? What's wrong with you?"

She narrowed her eyes and pulled him close again. "Stop being such a baby. It's not that bad," she said as she began wiping at his lip again, her soft hands against his face and her eyes full of sympathy and compassion. Just like that, he was no longer angry with her. "I'm really sorry. You just…you surprised me."

He nodded, folding his hands behind his head when she was finished. "You're acting like you're scared of me."

She leaned over to give him a kiss, kind of tasting his blood in her mouth. "I'm not scared of you. I never will be."

He pulled her back against him, and suddenly she was on top of him, his hands running over and between her thighs, up and down her sides, squeezing her breasts. She gasped, pulling away. "We shouldn't, Yash. Seriously."

She tried to get off of him, but he grabbed both of her hands so she couldn't move. His hands were under her nightgown and now he was gripping her ass with both hands so she couldn't move away.

"I want to now," he muttered. She leaned down to kiss him, melting into him. "You do too." He said, slipping a finger into her panties to prove just how wet she was for him.

"_Yasha_," she moaned, suddenly out of breath. "We can't."

He growled, and just like that she was underneath him and her panties were ripped off and he was feeling her from the inside out, rocking against her, giving her a show of heaven.

And she couldn't tell him to stop again, because she didn't want him to. And it was obvious when she softly called his name over and over again, wrapping her legs around him and scratching at his back and pulling at his hair.

She was so screwed.

He fell asleep against her, his arms tight around her waist like she'd try to leave again, like he'd wake up and she wouldn't be there.

So as he slept, she thought.

Maybe the Gods didn't hate her that much, and maybe she actually had gone for her shot, but she'd just forgotten that she had. She closed her eyes and tried hard to remember the last time she went to the clinic and nothing came to her mind, she couldn't recall it. And it was her fault. So much had been going on in her life, and she was stupid and irresponsible and now she didn't know what to do, she could only hope.

It wasn't like she wouldn't have been happy if she was. She would—but he'd think she was crazy, that she'd planned it. She shut her eyes tight. She didn't want that. But then again, maybe she wasn't. She had worried herself to death about him leaving…that could have been the reason for being nauseous and the throwing up.

She thought hard about it. It had to be at least one or two months, maybe even three, since she'd had her last shot.

She'd felt sick a few times before, too, though, before she even knew about him leaving. But then again, Inuyasha was the main source of her stress. Maybe that's what it was. Maybe she was just stressed.

She'd get an emergency contraceptive tomorrow. And then she'd go to the clinic and get her shot, and everything would be okay. And next time, she wouldn't be so irresponsible.

She cursed again, worrying herself to death until she fell asleep, having nightmares of screaming babies and an angry Inuyasha, of life without being by his side.

**XXXXX**

She was too tired to cry or beg him to change his mind.

There was a lot of snow outside of the ground—she hoped they canceled his flight so he could spend another day…but that was selfish and she couldn't be selfish anymore. So on the forty-five minute drive to the airport, she was quiet. He'd reach over and brush his hand against hers every once in a while—yeah, like that helped calm the turmoil in her stomach. But he was quiet, too, maybe he could feel her in his bones already, too.

She felt sick again, felt like she'd puke as they got closer and closer, but she held it back. And that worried her even more.

He noticed it, but he said nothing. She'd tell him eventually, he knew she would.

She wasn't angry. She was disappointed. But maybe it was for the best, and maybe they'd be together in a place better than this, in a time filled with just them. Maybe she had to see who she was without him. See if she'd try to break her teeth on vodka bottles like she did last time, see if she could settle her spinning head.

Maybe he was right about everything, and maybe, just maybe, he would come running back to her. Maybe his conscious would scream at him and maybe he wouldn't be able to breathe without her. She hoped so.

Maybe her heart wasn't breaking. Maybe she was learning to stitch herself back up already.

She would be okay.

In a way, she guessed, he was running away. Maybe because he thought she needed to get herself together because he thought she'd leave again. But she wouldn't, she knew that. She loved him far too much, and she'd already learned her lesson. Running away didn't help at all. She knew he was scared she'd leave, and that hurt her. Did he not trust her?

But she understood. There were things in the past that still hurt, things that she had to stop running away from. She had other wounds, too, but they'd healed. But what made her run away—what made her think that he wouldn't love her one day, what made her cry and what made her weak, all those things in the past he'd done—she had to call them something other than wounds that wouldn't heal and agree to let them stay. She understood. She couldn't let those things dominate her or make her doubt herself ever again.

He'd be back soon, she knew he would. And even if he'd moved on by then, or gotten over her, she'd accept that, too. She needed time to heal, and he couldn't fix everything he'd broken. That was up to her. She put her hand on his and gave him her brightest smile.

She understood.

The ride ended all too soon, and she felt that sick feeling again as soon as they entered the airport.

Five minutes.

"I'm sick again," she told him, worry in her eyes. "I'll be right back."

He kissed her hard before she left. Four minutes. "You better hurry up, wench."

She nodded, half walking and running off before she found the nearest stall and threw herself into it, hurriedly locking it shut behind her. Worry took over her as she emptied whatever was left in her stomach, pulling her hair back and not caring whoever heard her.

She had to go the clinic. She had to. She wouldn't even ask for the test. She'd take the morning after pill, get her shot, and everything would be okay, and he wouldn't think she'd been planning anything because she _wouldn't be pregnant_.

She walked out hurriedly, running to the sink and splashing cool water on her undone face. That felt good.

"Honey, are you okay? I heard you in the stall, you don't sound good. Are you sick with a bug?" One woman asked. Kagome turned around to give her a glance. She was short and stubby with a little girl who looked about two or three years old holding on tightly to her hand. She glanced at her stomach, noticing the protruding bump.

She shook her head. "It's not a bug."

Three minutes.

The woman, who looked to be in her late twenties or early thirties, smiled knowingly. The little girl squeezed her mother's hand tighter and Kagome knew she was going to be sick again. "Oh, I see. Well, it looks nice on you, dear," she rubbed her tummy with her other hand. "You're glowing already."

Her eyes widened, and then she left with the little girl and the baby on board.

She threw herself into the stall again, her knees starting to hurt as tears formed at her eyes from the force of her upheaval.

Two minutes.

She wiped her mouth quickly, grabbing at the hair tie on her wrist and pulling her long, thick hair up. She stared at her reflection.

A mother. No, no, no. It wasn't just Inuyasha being angry and it wasn't just not being old enough. She was not ready to take care of someone who took more love than it gave. Her blue eyes shined brightly, tears starting to cloud from worry. She wiped at her eyes and put on her best pokerface.

One minute.

She ran as fast as she could.

And there she seen him, about to board his flight.

"Inuyasha!" she called out, tears already rolling down her cheeks. "Inuyasha!"

He turned around and before he could even blink, she had thrown herself into his arms. He hugged her tight, could tell she was crying from the way she shook against his chest.

"Kagome—"

"I'm sorry. I bet you thought I was running away again," she laughed a little, holding him tighter.

Fifty-two seconds.

She kissed him. "I love you, I love you so much. And I'm so sorry I probably worried you, I just…I—I don't know what's wrong with me, maybe I've got the flu, maybe I'm just worried, I don't know, I don't know, but I love you, I really, really love you."

"Kagome, it's okay—"

"I'm so sorry I ran away before, I never got to tell you how sorry I am, and I was so stupid and I…I just wasn't thinking but I promise it would never happen again and please don't forget me, don't ever, ever forget me, and you better call even if we don't know what we are, we can go with the flow, can't we? I don't want you to leave but I want you to know that I finally understand and I…I love you so much—"

Thirty-five seconds.

"I'll never forget you, wench," he pulled her close again, inhaling her scent. She smelled so safe, so pure, so clean, so much like him and so much like her. Maybe he should have told her before that she was _his _mate, that she would never be allowed to leave him and that no one else would love her _this _much, that no one else could even _think _of taking her, but it was a scary concept that he didn't want to get in to until she could fix what he couldn't. "I love you, too. And what do you mean, what we are? We're soulmates, silly," he said gruffly into her hair. "and soulmates never part."

She pulled back, a look of surprise on her face. She stared at him a while, her hand cupping his cheek. Suddenly, she felt guilty.

Fifteen seconds.

She needed to tell him. Tell him how irresponsible she had been, tell him that there was a possibility, even though everything would probably be okay. Or was that just her wishful thinking? "Inuyasha—Inuyasha…I need to tell you something—"

Ten seconds.

He kissed her. He kissed her long and hard, his heavy hands resting at the small of her back and she melted into him, wrapping her arms around his neck and then loosening one to play with his ear and trail down his chest, her nose breathing in his scent and recording it to her memory, and she didn't want him to let go.

Five seconds.

He kissed her tears away, panting heavily.

"Inuyasha…"

"I promise I'll be back. I keep my promises, _Higurashi_," he smirked, pulling her close. "And I always meant to tell you, you were too pretty for crying. And you'll be okay. You'll understand, and when it's all better, I'm gonna marry you."

She pulled at the cloth of his shirt, another tear slipping down her cheek.

He had to leave.

He kissed her again. It was quick but it held something she'd never really noticed before. "I love you so much, Inuyasha Takahashi."

He laughed a little. "I love you, too, wench."

One more peck against her lips and then he was off, not before waving goodbye. "I'll call you, and I'm coming back to you as soon as I settle in! I love you, Kagome Higurashi!" He called out to her, and she laughed, yelling back that she loved him more.

She straightened herself up and she smiled again. She'd fake it till she made it, or maybe she wouldn't have to. He had told her exactly what she needed to hear, and she was okay.

She was fine, and for the first time in a very, very long time, she meant it, too.

**XXXXX**

Life was so stupid.

An emergency contraceptive pill cost almost fifty dollars. She'd barely had enough money, and she'd had to pay the rest of it with quarters and dimes. It cost so much money to prevent a pregnancy you weren't ready for and it was even more to raise a child.

She avoided looking at all the pregnancy tests—her anxiety might have just caused her to pick one up. She stayed far away. She popped the pill in the cab, told the driver he next destination and when she was there, she scraped up what little money she had left, hoping he'd be satisfied with that.

You see, she couldn't raise a child. She was completely irresponsible.

Maybe she should have paid more attention in sex ed. There were signs everywhere, and she just now seemed to be noticing. Signs of abortion, saying it was murder. A number to call if you were pregnant and considering your options. Choose adoption. Practice safe sex. Condoms.

Fucking stupid birth control. Fucking stupid _her_. God, why hadn't she noticed? Why hadn't she been more responsible? Had she missed them calling to schedule her for another appointment? She felt like she'd be sick again as soon as she walked into the clinic, it wasn't like she hadn't been a million times before, though, so she ran to the bathroom not once, but twice, before they called her name.

They took her blood. Took her urine, too. They checked her weight, she noticed she'd gained a little. No big deal, birth control did that to you sometimes. They explained that it may have took a while for your fertility level to go back to the way it was before, and she had only missed _two _months worth of shots…they explained that they'd called, she'd just never got back to them.

She had probably been fucking Inuyasha at the time, she figured.

She told them she'd took the emergency contraceptive pill this morning, told them that she hadn't used protection, of the nausea she'd noticed before, and the sudden nausea that was much worse, and the sudden throwing up.

They told her she probably wasn't, but she'd have to wait for her results…and you know, she probably _wasn't_, _they'd_ even said so. After all, the shot fucked your fertility up for a while. She wasn't pregnant. She was stupid for thinking so.

So she'd felt even more stupid when they called her back.

"Miss Higurashi, we can't give you another shot."

They'd said it so calmly, like it wasn't a big deal.

"Okay, and why is that?" she figured it was her health insurance maybe, or maybe it messed with her body too badly, maybe she needed another form of contraception.

"Your results came back positive," the nurse said excitedly. "Congratulations, you're pregnant!"

It took her a while to comprehend that.

"Wait…that isn't right, is it?" she asked, her voice shrieking a bit. Maybe she needed to calm down, but she never thought she'd hear those words. They had made her believe all she was experiencing was normal, and that she wasn't going to have a baby. "You…you said that it takes a while for the shot to completely wear off…so how's that right? Can I get another test?"

"We took a blood and urine test, and it was positive, Miss Higurashi. It's not something that's rare, only unlikely. May I ask the race of your child's father?"

She had never really been at a loss for words, but suddenly, she felt like her whole world was crumbling. She shook her head a little, coming out of her daze. "Dog-demon."

The short little fucking nurse just nodded, her curly, blonde hair bouncing as she did, a bright smile on her face. Kagome wished that she could be that excited. "There's a higher chance, then. Ones with demon blood are usually much more fertile. You're a little over seven weeks," the nurse said excitedly. She suddenly wanted to punch her. "We've prescribed you something that should help with the morning sickness and all, and we've scheduled an appointment for you and the baby to get checked in three weeks. But once again, congratulations."

There was nothing else she could say, really, was it? She couldn't deny it now, she had proof. She snatched the bill and the prescription, muttering thanks to the nurse as she pushed by her.

Inuyasha seemed like the scariest option right now, so she hurriedly pulled out her phone and began to dial her mother's number instead and just then, she bumped into someone.

"Sorry! I wasn't watching where I was going," she muttered almost unemotionally, and then she looked up to see her best friend. Her mouth fell open. "Sango? What are you doing here?"

Sango seemed just as surprised, gaping like a fish. Miroku poked his head from behind her.

"Erm…hey. I've been meaning to talk to you, I just haven't had the chance. I've been so busy—"

She narrowed her eyes. "That's not what I asked you."

Sango narrowed her eyes right back. "I could ask you the same thing."

She sniffed, shifting back and forth on her feet. "Uh…had to get my shot."

"Liar!" Sango declared. "You come at the _beginning _of every month to get your shot."

She snatched the prescription from her best friend's hand.

"Give it back, Sango!" she reached for it, only to have it snatched away again. "And why is _Miroku _here?"

Her best friend's husband watched the both of them, amused, although his curiosity was sparking and he tried to sneak a look at the prescription, too, only to have Sango snatch it away from him, also.

"Wait…so you're pregnant?" Sango asked incredulously as she dropped the prescription out of surprise. Kagome hissed and snatched the paper back up, shoving it into her purse. "Oh my gosh, you're _pregnant_!"

Kagome sneered, covering her best friend's mouth only for her to lick her hand. She cursed and hurriedly moved it away, wiping it on her pants in disgust. "Just shut up! Oh my gosh, Sango, _shut up_!"

Miroku looked back and forth between the two, him looking like the gaping fish, now.

Sango did her happy dance. "You're _pregnant_! You're having a _baby_! You're having a little _Inuyasha _or a little _Kagome_! Oh my god, our kids can be best friends! I'm so fucking _excited_! We're having _best friend babies_, oh my goshhhh, _Kagome_!"

Her eyes widened and she almost lost her shit then, pulling at her hair to keep from strangling Sango. "Oh my _GOD_, Sango, Miroku is _right there_! And he wasn't supposed to know! And for fucks sake, you're screaming loud enough for all of Tokyo to hear you and oh my God—wait…_you're pregnant too?"_

Sango grinned, jumping up and down like a six year old. "Here for the first appointment. Wait, oh my God, how far along are you and how fucking long have you know? And you didn't _tell _me?"

"Wait, oh my gosh," Kagome said, starting to jump up and down, too. "You didn't tell _me_! You bitch! And I'm a little over seven weeks, what about you? I came in for my shot and the fuckers said I couldn't get one because I was pregnant, like, just now!"

Sango grinned, laughing. "Oh my gosh, I'm just a day over nine! Our babies are gonna be _best friends_! Oh my _gosh_! We're having _babies_!"

Miroku looked around nervously, scratching his head as people sent strange looks their way. "Uh…you guys, this is great and all but—"

Sango gasped suddenly. "Wait…oh my gosh, Inuyasha's gonna be a dad! Inuyasha's gonna be a _daddy!_"

Kagome laughed excitedly. "Miroku's gonna be a _daddy_!"

"You guys—" Miroku started, only to be cut off from Sango.

"Shut up! We're having girl talk!" she hissed. "Wait…does Inuyasha even _know_ yet?"

The smile was immediately wiped off Kagome's face, her hands fell to their sides and she almost stopped breathing. "_Fuck_."

**TBC…**

**A/N: Haha, so I have to admit, I really loved how this chapter ended and that TBC just made it even funnier. But anyway, it's almost three in the morning. But I have good news! I think I'll be finishing this story up soon. Good, right? (:**

**Well, at first, I wasn't going to make Kagome get pregnant…but ugh…I guess things just pop up as you write. And plus, there were a few requests hoping that she ended up pregnant. Gah, but oh well! Their baby will be beautiful, of course (:**

**Reviews? I'd love to know what everyone thinks so far and what they would like to happen next. And don't worry, Inuyasha will be back very soon I suppose. Thanks for all the support, you guys, and don't forget, REVIEW! Until next time!**


	19. She's Having a Baby

He had called her earlier to tell her that he'd made it in safely and that the flight had been quick, and not a pain in the ass, as she recalled him saying. He said that she needed to call him tonight, that he'd probably forget to because he was getting all of his things together and getting them ready, and she didn't know what was wrong with her but she didn't want to call him and hear him talk about the City of Love like it was the most beautiful and amazing and sacred place in the world, because why would he have a reason to come back if it was all that great?

She forgot.

She was pregnant. Over seven weeks, apparently. And she had just found out hours ago, and so had a lot of people who didn't even know her thanks to Sango. But she'd vowed Miroku to keep his mouth shut; she'd tell Inuyasha _herself_ when she was good and ready.

She lay in bed, a large t-shirt draping her body, and her phone in her hand and her heart speeding as she looked at his number. She knew it by heart, but fuck, who came prepared for these kinds of things?

What would she say? "Oh, hey, Inuyasha. I was completely irresponsible and stupid and I know we're both way too young for this and I know you're going to kill me and possibly never talk to me again, but I'm pregnant and I can't raise a child here all by myself while you're all the way in France and over 6,000 miles away from me." Yeah, like that would be alright, like he'd immediately take one of his stupid little private jets all the way back here and wait nine months for their child to pop out and happily raise it with her. Things were never that easy.

She hadn't thought about the baby much. She didn't want to. Not like she wouldn't love it, not like if she decided to keep it that she wouldn't raise it correctly or anything like that. Not that she didn't love it already…it was just—it was scary, and she didn't care for kids all that much, and plus, he had just left _today_, and why would he want to father a child with her when she wasn't even sure what they _were_? Soulmates, he'd said. But she needed something more than soulmates. She needed something concrete, and she needed him _here_.

She took a deep breath and dialed his number, feeling as if she was going to have that sick feeling that made her run to the bathroom again, but she did it anyway. She hadn't even told her mother, and she highly doubted she'd tell him tonight.

But…she missed him.

It was almost 12 in the morning, so she tried not to be suspicious when the phone took forever ringing. She almost hung up right then and there, but then she heard something on the other end.

"_Hey,"_ he said tiredly from the other end. _"Sorry it took a while, 'Gome. I dozed off. Jetlag sucks."_

She breathed in a sharp breath, her heart speeding and she was suddenly hot.

She could cry. She was supposed to be a model, or be something. She was supposed to have a career with a steady income, she was supposed to be getting her shit together and finding out exactly who she was without him, but how could either of them do that when they were going to have a fucking kid together?

"_Kagome? You're so weird. I just said hey to you, are you even listening? I said I was sorry and that I dozed off…hello?"_

"Hey," she said, her voice kind of quivering. She'd cry at any second now, not because she missed him so bad she felt it in her bones, well, yeah, that too, but because how could she tell him? How could she just ruin all that he had going for him now? "I just—I wanted to call to see if you were okay, and if you were settled in."

She heard him chuckle. _"I'm fine, wench…so…what have you been up to?"_

She frowned. He had sounded tired moments ago and now he sounded extremely excited. It was such a drastic change, and she knew he already loved being there. She could tell from the way he was talking…how he wasn't being a jackass even if he was a jackass on an accident sometimes…he wanted to stay. And what if he never even looked back?

"I went to the clinic today," she blurted out.

"_Really? Were you sick with a bug or something?" _

She sat up in bed. "Yeah…or something. But anyway, tell me about it."

He paused on the end of the line like he had to think hard to put it into just the right words to describe it. _"It's…beautiful. Haven't got the chance to explore it yet, I'm just waking up. But Kagome…it's so nice up here. We're eight ours behind…did you know that?" _He didn't even give her the chance to answer. _"I'm going out to eat with a few business colleagues tomorrow, because you know, I'm trying to rest and unpack today. Having a meeting of some sort, you know? We've got branches all over here, Kagome…and it's not just because it's a really great city and everything…but they know what they're doing. I get a higher pay, and dad's more than happy that I'm managing this branch here now. We needed it."_

She nodded to herself, suddenly depressed.

"_And my God…you've got to see all the lights. It's amazing. And you've just got to see the apartment, it's much bigger and better than the one back there. The people are beautiful too, they're kind and they're professional and the culture is interesting. The language is one of the most beautiful I've ever heard…I'm still learning but I know most of everything. I'm a bit rusty because it's been so long…but I guess taking French in high school paid off," _he paused for a while, and the sound of him sighing through her receiver set off a longing she'd never had before. She missed him, she missed him so much, but they had him in France, and he wasn't going to let it go that easily. He sounded like he was in love. _"I miss you already," _he said softly. _"You're coming as soon as I get unpacked and I'm going to take you to the most expensive restaurant in this whole city…and then we can look at all the lights and I'll buy you whatever you want. You'd _love _it here."_

"I'm sure I would," she said softly, weakly. "I miss you too," her voice cracked, and she shook her head. Now was not the time to cry and get all emotional because he wasn't here. "I'm happy for you…I really am. And you know I'm always waiting. But you sound like you're in love with the place already and—"

"_Stop thinking like that," _his groan made her jump a little. _"You're thinking that I won't come back. Even if I didn't have any other reason to, I'd still come back just to see you. This isn't for forever, 'Gome."_

Her voice cracked again, she couldn't help it. There was salt in her mouth. "_How_ long then, Inuyasha? I don't want to be the one to tear you away from something you love and I don't want to be the only reason you come back, either. I feel so selfish. But I miss you…I miss you already."

He sighed like he'd heard enough of that. _"I miss you too. It's not permanent or anything…just a couple of months. I don't know…six or seven at least. Maybe—" _he stopped like he didn't want to say it, but she urged him on. _"Okay, maybe a year."_

Her stomach dropped and she stood from her bed, holding her cellphone close to her ear and running another hand through her hair in a frustrated manner. "You never mentioned a fucking year till just _now_." She hissed and she immediately regretted it.

"_Don't be stupid, you know it's not like that. It's not something I can really plan before time, Kagome. But dad's business is great down here, and—"_

"Do _not _say I'm being stupid!" she hissed again, pulling at her hair. She couldn't tell him.

"_You're making it out to be a big deal…you can come stay anytime you want…and whenever I'm not busy I'll come and see you every chance I get." _He said tiredly.

"A year. A whole year. And I can come stay anytime I want? I've got to find a job, Inuyasha. I've got Mama and Souta and Jii-Chan, Sango, and the rest of them. I can't just take off and leave whenever I want. My family is here…and I'm trying to get my shit together and see who I am without you and that already sucks enough. And then I just find out that I'm fucking—" she paused. _Shit_. She couldn't tell him, not now. He was tired and he had things to do and she could already sense a heated argument coming up. He was managing his dad's business there now, and he was probably stressed enough from the tiring flight and he had to unpack and…she just couldn't come out with it.

"_You just find out you're what?" _he asked, and she was silent. _"Kagome, what the fuck? Are you still here? Look, I'm trying to do right by you and I swear it's nothing more than that. I love you, you know that," _he said quietly, softly. _"I'm not trying to hurt you. I _can't _hurt you anymore. And I know it hurts you…me being away and all…but don't you think it hurts me too? The feeling is mutual. You told me you understood so why can't you just…"_

"I understand," she sighed. "It's just that I—"

"_The whole job thing is already taken care of. Apparently, the receptionist is pregnant and father wants you in for the job. No one else, just you. I meant to tell you earlier, but I forgot. And you'd better take it, too."_

She sighed in relief and happiness. Okay, that was a good start. A stable income, and maybe she'd get herself a bigger place to stay. Maybe a house and not a shabby little apartment, and with babies on the way, you needed all the room you could get, right? She wanted to kiss him through the phone. Maybe the pregnancy hormones were kicking in already. "Oh my God, I was so worried."

He chuckled, and the sound was music to her ears. _"The old man loves you. Mom does too. And if you ever decide you don't like it, or Sesshomaru is a dick to you…you remember what I told you about modeling? I hate to say it but it'd be great for you."_

She laughed. "You hate to say it? And what's that supposed to mean, Inuyasha Takahashi?"

"_It means your head is already big enough, and you don't need anymore people telling you that you're gorgeous," _he said gruffly, and she was flattered. It was a rare thing to get a compliment from Inuyasha Takahashi, even though he was going about the most vague and nonchalant way of giving it to her. _"And _definitely _not any stupid, pig-headed boys. Nevermind, it's not a good idea. They'd make you dress in skimpy, showy clothes and every guy would be ogling you and I wouldn't be there to rip their fucking eyes out."_

She fell back on the bed, giggling and a warm feeling spreading throughout her tummy. "Silly. The most they could do is look and not touch. It's all for you, I promise."

"_Yes, you're mine," _he said seriously, protectively. _"I'm serious, 'Gome. If anyone ever tried to take you away…"_

He trailed off and she frowned, almost feeling as if he didn't trust her. "Inuyasha, seriously, no one's going to 'take me away' that easily. You'd better not let anyone take you away from me, either. I know how those girls up there are," she muttered in disgust. "They're all skinny little twigs that walk around with miniskirts and their ugly lipstick…and I'm pretty sure they smell like baby prostitutes, too. Inuyasha, I swear—"

"_Calm down," _his deep laugh came through the receiver and she calmed. _"Obviously, someone's watched Mean Girls a few too many times. It'd be impossible. I can't love anyone like I love you."_

Her breath hitched in her throat and she swore, she'd never felt anything like this, never felt her stomach drop like that. "I love you," she said almost breathlessly after a short period of silence. "I've loved you for years and years and you're crazy if you think anyone will ever take me away. I can't ever love anyone else like I love you, either."

"_Okay," _he said gruffly. _"What I said was disgustingly mushy and you know I'm no good with shit like that. So let's change the subject."_

She laughed again, shaking her head. "I do love you."

"_And I love you too."_

She yawned tiredly. It was almost one in the morning now, and she hadn't realized how long they'd been on the phone. But she had to tell him eventually, she knew this. She yawned again. "Hey, I've got to talk to you about something important tomorrow."

"_Tell me now," _he demanded. _"Wench…what is it?"_

"I'm tired, Yashie," she said, liking the way the new nickname sounded. "It's almost one in the morning over here, and I've got things to do tomorrow."

"_You promise to tell me tomorrow then? I can call you in the morning, I'll get to bed on time." _He sounded so serious, almost scared and she didn't like that.

What had she been thinking? She couldn't tell him. She was silent for a long time, almost weary. She couldn't do it. "I promise," she said anyway, knowing she'd break it or at least lie to him. "I promise."

"_Kagome?" _he asked quietly. _"I love you. I know it's hurting and I swear it won't for much longer. And we'll be together eventually, just not now. But you're mine, you know that, right?"_

She felt an overwhelming surge of guilt overtake her whole body and she drew in a deep breath. "I'm yours. I love you."

He seemed satisfied with that. _"I'll call as soon as I'm up. Be awake, wench."_

She was struggling to breathe, struggling to find the right words but she finally found them. "I will, I promise. Goodnight."

"_Night, Ka-go-me, I love you. Sweet dreams."_

She smiled softly and before she could say anything back, he was gone. That empty feeling took over her body again and she hoped she wouldn't drown tonight. She had the feeling, had it right there in her bones and creeping into her senses.

She'd be up all night thinking of how to tell him, she knew she would.

**XXXXX**

**(3 days later)**

"Oh my gosh!" Mrs. Higurashi exclaimed. "You're not nervous? I mean, it's your first pregnancy. You're acting strange, why are you not nervous? And oh my God, I am so glad I'm _finally _having a grandchild!"

Kagome rolled her eyes, leaning back nonchalantly in her seat. "Okay, I'm pregnant, you're having a grandchild, yada yada, mom. Seriously, it's not that big of a deal. Please calm down."

"No!" she exclaimed. "I've got to start getting baby things. Oh my gosh, Kagome Sayori Higurashi," Kagome winced. She hated her middle name and she hated her mom calling her full name, "Just what are you planning to do with this child? I swear, if you've thought about adoption or abortion—"

"Mom!" Kagome stood then, about to lose her shit. "Please, stop."

"Have you even told Inuyasha yet? Oh my goodness, and I can _tell _you've been thinking about it," she said, shaking her head like she was disappointed. "Well, that's not happening. You were the one who spread your legs—"

"Oh my God, gross. Stop saying it like I'm a whore…you know how things are with Inuyasha, mom. And yes, I've been thinking. That's why I came to talk to you, but I'll just leave because this isn't helping me at all!"

"Okay, okay," her mother said, her tone finally lowering. "I'm just excited, that's all."

Kagome slumped back down in her seat. "Okay…so I don't know what to do."

Her mother looked at her confused. "What exactly do you mean by that? First of all," she began, "you need to rethink your options. There will be no adoption and certainly no abortion. It's not just the fact that I'm excited about my first grandchild, but you know that we don't believe in that. It's like murder and adoption is like saying that you're nowhere near responsible enough for a child that you decided to lay down and make."

She shook her head at her mother, thinking about it. "Adoption is nothing like that, mom. Sometimes, but most of the time it's not. It's deciding to give your kid a better life that you know you couldn't provide for it."

Her mother rolled her eyes. "Inuyasha practically owns a company."

Kagome rolled her eyes back. "And Inuyasha left for Paris three days ago."

"And apparently you two spent the last couple of days together, according to what his mother told me. So you were fine with the fact that he was leaving and now you two are having a baby and you're honestly thinking about giving it up?"

"That's not it," she told her mother defensively. "I didn't know he was leaving until last minute and it sucked. Yeah, we spent all his time left together. And I understand why he left. I forgive him, he forgives me, I'm trying to get over the past, and he's trying not to hurt me again. But it's harder than that, mom. I didn't realize I was so stressed I forgot to go for my shot…_two months _worth of forgotten shots. So when he left I was feeling all sick and stuff, I felt sick even before then but I didn't pay much mind to it. So I go and they tell me I'm pregnant, and what am I supposed to do now? I was trying to see who I am without him…and he loves it up there, too. He's not gonna come back just because I was stupid and irresponsible and got knocked up. We never even talked about what would happen if I got knocked up suddenly…and then there's Kikyo and there's these 6,000 miles between us and there's this baby that I don't want to raise by myself and then there's him running away because he doesn't want me to leave and I just don't know how to feel."

"First, Kikyo forgives you and I'm actually surprised she still hasn't got in contact with you," her mother said calmly. "Second, you weren't stupid and irresponsible. You were going through a lot and you were stressed. People make mistakes. And he'll be surprised, but if he loves you all that much, it would be a good thing, wouldn't it? And 6,000 miles, whatever, it doesn't matter. You're both grown-ups, you can make arrangements and you can both get through this."

"Okay, okay…okay. I'm going to tell him…eventually," she said exhaustedly. "But mom…he _just _moved and I don't want him to think this is all some little _plot _to get him to stay because that is really desperate and as low as you could get, and oh my gosh, Kikyo's probably going to freak, and then I have to work and I need a bigger place to stay if I'm actually going to _have _this baby…I'm having a _baby_, mom, oh my God. I'm so sorry, I know I should've gone back for my shot and all but—"

Her mother actually bent over laughing, and Kagome narrowed her eyes. "The shock is starting to settle in, I see. I knew you would get nervous eventually."

She rolled her eyes, and then they softened. "It's not funny…I'm having a _kid_. And I've never even changed a diaper in my whole life. And by the way, Sango's pregnant, too. Just two weeks ahead of me."

Her mother clapped excitedly, still laughing. "Oh my goodness, that's great, honey. I mean, it's okay you're not married or anything. I remember the day you popped out of the womb. Me and your father weren't married, you know, and we were a bit older, but that's okay, too. Plus, you and Sango's kids will be so close…this is great. Don't think I'm disappointed, I think I'm more excited than you."

"I'm going to throw my guts up," she was hyperventilating now. "I'm only twenty-two."

Her mother scurried over to her, pulling her out of the chair and into her arms, laughing all the while. "I know the feeling. You'll get through it. Take a deep breath. Your life is not over, and it'll be one of the hardest things you've ever done, but you'll make it. At least I finally get a grandchild with adorable dog-ears."

"You're going to have a grandchild…and I'm going to have a baby, Mama," Kagome told her. "It's kind of hard to take deep breaths. It's _really _settling in."

Her mother looked worried for a second. "Do you really want this? You seem more upset than anything."

She pulled away, shaking her head, a bit confused herself. "Of course I want it. It's just…it's something I never took into consideration before. I've never been good with kids. I don't know how to feed them or change them or tell if they're hungry or sick or tired…I don't know how to do that."

She was crying now out of frustration. Maybe she should have taken those parenting classes back in high school. Maybe she could ask Rin…or maybe Izayoi…_no_, not Izayoi, she'd freak like her own mother. Fuck. She cried a bit harder. She'd never been this frustrated and angry and worried before.

"I'm going to suck as a parent, Mama."

"You're not, I promise," her mother told her. "Haven't you heard of motherly instincts?"

"What if I'm different and I don't have those?" Kagome shouted out of frustration, making her mother struggle not to laugh. Poor thing.

"I was the exact same way when I was pregnant with you," she blurted out. "I thought I'd be a horrible mother. But you watch other mothers, you learn, and if you love your child enough then there's no way you can fail them. You'll be just fine."

She sniffled and nodded. "I can't tell him."

"Kagome!"

"Mama, he doesn't know anything about babies either and he'll freak out, what if he never talks to me again?"

"That's completely ridiculous. That's enough. Remember, you worry too much and it puts stress on you _and _the baby, so I advise you to go home and eat something, get some rest, call Inuyasha tonight and _tell him_," she emphasized, "and then, tell me how it all goes."

"Mama—"

Mrs. Higurashi put up a hand to silence her. "Just because you're having a child of your own now doesn't mean you won't listen to me anymore. Do as I said, and you'll be fine. I love you."

It took her a few seconds to settle down, to regain her composure. But she had to tell him. What kind of person would she be if she kept it from him? Even if he didn't like it, what's done was done. She grew completely up right then and there, and she was a new Kagome, much different than her past self. She'd be okay, she'd do just fine.

**XXXXX**

"His or her head looks…_really _weird," Miroku said as he studied the picture of his unborn child. It was true. The head was shaped like a big piece of fruit…or something. It's little hands were starting to take shape, he guessed. "I hope it looks different when it pops out."

Of course, that got him smacked upside the head. "Uh…you're such an inconsiderate jerk!" Sango yelled at him as she threw her plate into the sink. She snatched the sonogram picture away from him. "It's _supposed _to look like that, dumbass. It's still cooking! Or…or…growing, whatever you want to call it!"

He winced. "Sango, dear, calm down."

"No!" she was in his face now. "Is there anything in that head of yours? What were you trying to say? That our kid will turn out ugly or something? What, would you not love it if it did?"

She was crying now.

"Sango—"

"Gosh, you're such an idiot, Hoshi!" she cried out at him. "And we need a bigger place to stay, too! Are you even considering any of this? How can we raise a child when you're so…so…ughhh!...so _stupid_?!"

He sighed, trying to keep his patience. "Listen," he said gently. "We'll find a much bigger place, and I think our kid is going to be beautiful just like you, and even if it wasn't, I'd love it no matter what. And—"

She kissed him, cutting him off. He was taken aback by how rough she was being now, pushing him against the counter and deepening the kiss by running her tongue sexily and teasingly along his lower lip. Her hands were starting to work on his shirt, unbuttoning it and running her hands up and down his chest, her nails scraping along his sensitive flesh.

"Let's fuck," she hissed, pulling roughly at his tie. "I'm horny. This whole thing is making me horny. Fuck me."

His mouth dropped. Wow. He'd never seen her like this before, so in control. Maybe the whole pregnancy wouldn't be a bad thing. He quickly obliged, pressing his mouth roughly against hers and lifting her so he could take her to the bedroom.

"Put me fucking down," she hissed, kissing at his neck. "I want it right here, right here on this counter. _Now_, Miroku."

He almost cried. She never wanted to do it on the counter, she always bitched and complained before about it being a 'sanitary' place, and that she was not _ever _having hot sex in the kitchen, on the counter where she prepared their food. She'd even screamed at him before for even suggesting it.

"Anything you want," he muttered, out of breath as she began to undo his pants and slip her hands down in his boxers to fondle with him. "Fuck, Sango. You're so damn hot right now."

She ripped his shirt off, hopped off the counter and onto her knees and quickly jerked his pants down, along with his boxers, looking up at him seductively. He groaned when her warm mouth wrapped around his member, and just as quickly, she pulled away.

She stood then. "I have to pee."

He groaned even louder. "Will you please hurry?"

She giggled, kissing him on the cheek before she ran off. "I gotcha!"

Well, that was surprising. He smirked as he waited on her to finish. He really enjoyed her being pregnant. Would the sex always be this hot, and would she actually want to do it anywhere besides the bedroom now? He was throbbing and so ready for her to come back. He just hoped she wouldn't have to pee that often now. That would kinda suck.

She walked out, her hands behind her back and humming. She stopped right there, an innocent smile on her face. "I don't feel like it anymore."

And then she walked off to the bedroom, telling him that she was going to take a nap. He whimpered in frustration.

Well, fuck. He thought he'd be getting lucky.

**XXXXX**

They had been on the phone for about an hour and a half now, and she still hadn't got the guts to tell him. It wasn't like he'd give her the chance, anyway. He was too busy talking about how his day went, how great the food was, how business was going great, how it was such a great city, how it was so cold and how everyone was so busy.

She felt shitty, to say the least, and the shit they'd prescribed for her morning sickness was working but it wasn't working well enough. And by the way, morning sickness was complete and utter bullshit. She threw her guts up at anytime of the day—at night when she was trying to go to sleep, in the morning, sometimes in the middle of the day.

"_But yeah, it's great up here. I really love it, I think I could get used to it," _he said excitedly. _"So I was thinking…how about you come up here in a week? I've gotten most of the shit together…the apartment looks really good. Hey, we could go out somewhere and I could take you to my favorite place to eat at the moment…or we could just sit around and fuck all day. Or, we could fuck after we go out. We could stay at my place and watch movies and eat popcorn…and then we could fuck—"_

She laughed loudly. "Sounds like someone misses me."

"_I do," _he whispered huskily. _"I think this is the longest we've been."_

She giggled, turning over to lay on her tummy. "I think it is."

"_Do something for me now," _he said quickly. _"We can have phone sex."_

She laughed again, shaking her head to herself. "I've never really been into that, you know."

He laughed. _"Me neither. But I need to see you…like—_really _soon."_

She sighed. "I need to see you too."

"_Wench," _he snapped. _"There's something wrong with you and you're not fucking telling me. Out with it already, it's aggravating me."_

She giggled nervously. "It doesn't sound like aggravation, that sounds like worry…and I'm fine."

"_That's a girl's number one lie," _he said, sounding bored. He knew she was lying, and she gulped, wondering if he could hear that through the phone, too. _"Look, I can practically sense something's wrong with you. Do I need to make a trip down there?"_

She thought about it. "I would really like it if you did. Maybe I'd tell you then," she muttered nervously. "But it's not _that _big of a deal, Yash. Seriously. Don't worry. Everything is fine, I'm fine…I just wanna see you."

"_You're trying to change the subject," _he sounded almost hurt. _"Did you…did you do something I wouldn't like?"_

"What's with you?" she snapped. "It's like you don't trust me at all down here by myself. Just the other day, you mentioned some guy taking me away. And don't get me wrong, I love it when you're protective, but that's not it. Do you honestly not trust me? You think I'd just go and _fuck _somebody else?"

He sighed, sounding aggravated. _"You're taking things out of fucking context, Kagome. Here we go again," _he muttered and she almost snapped again. _"I do trust you…I just don't like the idea of you seeing anybody else or anything like that. It's _not _happening."_

"You're fucking worried about that?" she yelled into her phone. "How do you think I feel? How do I know you're not going to pull another Kikyo on me and just leave poor little me all alone again? Oh, but you're so worried about _me _doing anything with anybody else! Just let me verify this for you—me and Kouga are done. Me and Hojo are done. All of the other guys I don't feel like mentioning are done, too, it's just you. You don't trust me!"

"_Calm the fuck down," _he said darkly. _"You're putting all those fucking words in my mouth. I already told you I do trust you, you just don't understand!"_

"I'm the one who doesn't understand!" she yelled again, feeling her face heat up and hearing the crack in her voice. "How am I supposed to trust you down there? Oh, and I don't even have a title, either. Soulmate. Yeah, a fucking soulmate. Not a girlfriend or anything. So what do you tell all those pretty girls when they ask about your love life? Do you say that you're single? Yeah…I bet you do."

"_Just shut up," _he said it so calmly it scared her. _"I tell them I'm seeing someone, if you must fucking know. Shit, why are you acting so crazy? You were never like this before. This is exactly why we needed time, there's all these trust issues and these things I don't know how to fucking fix and—"_

She laughed darkly. "And all of these trust issues are here because of you, baby," she muttered. Her voice cracked and her face was hot. She knew it was stupid to start an argument—of course it was. But she just felt herself getting so frustrated because he wasn't the one carrying a child now…it was her. He wasn't the one struggling on deciding when the right time to tell her something was…that was her, too. But it wasn't _his _fault, and she was making it worse. She was going to tell him. He was silent on the other end…and she hadn't meant to hurt him. "Listen," she said gently. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for starting an argument, and for not thinking that you trust me…I'm just scared. I'm as scared as I've ever been."

"_Don't be sorry, Kags," _he said patiently. _"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have argued back with you. I know you think it's easier for me but it's not…trust me. I like it down here, I like it a lot. But you've got to stop thinking I'm running away, and you've got to stop thinking that this is forever. You know I'd choose you. I'd come back now if I could, maybe I'd take you here with me. But I've already told you there's nothing to be scared about. Stop acting like I'll forget you or—"_

"Inuyasha," she said quietly, "it's not just that."

She heard him fumble around on the other end, probably sitting up out of bed or something. _"What are you talking about?"_

"Look," she started. "It's not that big of a deal or anything…and I don't want you to freak out before I say anything, so…you know that I love you, right? And I'm _sorry _I'm being such a bitch. I miss you a lot, I really do, and I don't ever want to lose you. And you know that I'm happy as long as you are. I love hearing you talk about your day and how beautiful it is down there…and if you really love it that much…I hope you know I'd never do anything to take you away from it, no matter how much I miss you."

"_You're being really weird," _he muttered. _"You've been acting weird since the night before I left. Listen, 'Gome…all this shit is temporary. I wanted to see you fix what I couldn't fix, and you to have time to forgive me and all—"_

"I already forgave you," she said gently. "I don't feel like I'm fixing myself, Yash, that's the thing. I know you fucked up. It's in the past. I'm over it. And if you think I'm weak without you or something…I'm not. I've been doing perfectly fine. You can't stay away for that long and come back and expect things between us to be perfect. We like to argue. We like to fight and make up and fuck, that's what we're good at. And I know we're not perfect, but I like things just the way they are. I told you before, I'm not ever running off like that again."

"_That's not the only reason I'm here," _he said defensively. _"We needed someone to manage down here, too, 'Gome."_

"I know," she muttered. "But you can't be away for that long. I'm serious. And I don't have any intentions to…like…you know—trap you for the rest of your life. You're with me because you want to be…at least I hope you are," he scoffed at that, quickly telling her that he was with her because he wanted to be before letting her finish. It made her smile. "But…Yash…_fuck_."

How bizarre would it be to just say she was pregnant out of the blue? But he needed to know _now._

"_Just spit it out already," _he said. _"You hardly ever ramble. And that's what you're doing now. Just stop beating around the bush and tell me. You're about to drive me insane and make me catch a first-class flight down there because if this keeps up, I'm going to have to force you to tell me."_

She growled in frustration, her face heating up in anger. If he wanted to be impatient, well, fine, she'd be just as impatient as he was.

"I'm pregnant," she hissed. "You're going to be a dad. You knocked me up. I'm eating for two now. I'm going to get fat and there's no way I'm getting hired now, since you've fired the pregnant receptionist. I just thought about that, actually. Oh, and modeling isn't an option now. But congratulations, you're a _daddy _to this little person that's been inside my tummy for almost eight weeks now."

There. She'd said it, and not just in one bizarre way, but in all of them. There was silence on the other end, and then she heard what sounded like a crashing. He picked the phone back up and she took a deep breath, cringing and bracing herself for what would be said next.

She heard him take a deep breath. _"I'm back," _he sounded breathless. _"Could you repeat that?"_

"You're a daddy. I'm close to eight weeks. I found out four days ago when I went in for my shot, and you know what they told me?" she asked him, her voice cracking and not waiting for a response. "They told me I couldn't get another because I was _pregnant_. And I know I should have been careful, I'm sorry. I was stressed and I missed _two, almost three whole months _worth of shots. And thanks to your fucking highly fertile demon blood, or semen, or _whatever_, we're having a baby. Do you get it now?"

He dropped the phone again, or hung up, whichever one, she didn't care anymore. She felt stupid. She felt like crying. Telling him like this over the phone made her feel so idiotic and vulnerable, so needy.

"_Kagome—"_

"I know. I know you're not ready for a baby, and neither am I. But I'm keeping it. Do you know how hard it was to tell you? I mean, you're totally in love with where you are and I don't want you thinking this is on purpose as some little stupid plot to get you to come back just because I miss you. But I'll let you go, because I'm tired and you're probably tired too and I feel sick to my stomach—"

"_I'll be there…" _he trailed off, but when he spoke again his voice was firm and determined. _"I'll be there tomorrow. And don't you dare hang up on me, stupid girl. First of all, I know it's not some stupid plot. And second, just because it's great and all down here doesn't mean that it comes before you, because nothing comes before you."_

She was silent and taken aback, a tear slipping down her cheek.

"_I'm going to be a daddy," _he mumbled, chanting it over and over again through the receiver like he was testing the line out. _"I'm going to be a daddy. My God, I can't believe I'm going to be a dad."_

His voice cracked a little and her ear twitched. She sniffed and tried to get herself together before she said anything else, but when she spoke, she sounded like a croaking old lady anyway. "You're going to be a daddy," she confirmed. "I'm sorry it took a while to tell you, and I know you're busy. You don't have to come down just for this, you know—"

"_Just shut up," _he muttered. _"I love you, wench…I _love _you. I'm…I'm going to be a father…I'm going to be someone's daddy…how could you think I would be mad, huh?"_

She croaked again, a little broken laugh falling from her lips. "I don't know…I don't know. But I love you."

"_I love you," _he said breathlessly. _"Be right there at your place tomorrow, Kags. I'll even take a flight tonight…fuck…I'm going to do just that."_

"Yash," she sighed. "You don't have to. I'm not even ten weeks yet—"

"_Doesn't matter," _he said, his voice slightly muffled. _"I love you and I'm going to be here for every single part of this. We're having a fucking _baby,_" _he took a deep breath. _"We're having a baby and I don't care how far along you are or how far along you aren't…I'll be there. Get some sleep, wench. I'll be there as soon as I can."_

He hung up, and she laid her phone down beside of her, biting her lip. A fluttery feeling overtook her whole body, starting in her stomach like a bang and then spreading everywhere else, from the very tips of her toes to the top of her head. A sort of ringing took place in her ears and her heart pumped faster.

They were having a _baby_.

**A/N: I think I'll be done here soon...I'm going to miss writing this story so much, you guys. I've came such a long way with it that the thought of just letting it go hurts. This is like my sanctuary when I'm hurt and can't deal with reality. This makes me feel better.**

**I don't know how many more chapters there are going to be. I go with the flow and figure it out as I go along. But thanks to everyone who reviewed, and a big thanks to the ones who stuck with me so long and kept encouraging me...I know it seems like I don't give you guys enough acknowledgement but I swear, every single review I get means something to me, and so do the people who review every chapter.  
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**I'm getting emotional now, lol. Review, tell me what you thought. Until next time. I can't thank everyone enough. (:**


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